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Transcripts For KPIX The Late Show With Stephen Colbert 20170901

Human. And stephen explores the ritz carlton president ial suite. Now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause russian music playing captioning sponsored by cbs stephen whoo thank you, jon whats up, jon . Good to see ya. How are ya . audience chanting stephen please have a seat, everybody youre too kind. Welcome to the late show. Im your host, Stephen Colbert. Well, i dont know cheers and applause i dont know if you heard the news yet, but, after nine years in prison, o. J. Simpson was granted parole. Thats right, the juice is loose audience reacts jon wow. Wow. Stephen i think theyre chanting juice o. J. Got away. Orenthal is soaring, yall. Finally, he has the opportunity to find the real killer. Step one buy a mirror. Okay . Jon whoa stephen itll help. Say what you want about o. J. , he never met with sergei kisl ....

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Transcripts For KNTV The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon 20170902

And featuring the legendary roots crew. Questlove 714 anaheim steve and now, here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause ] jimmy wow [ cheers and applause ] i feel the love right there. Thank you very much. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Welcome to the tonight show, everybody. This is it. [ cheers and applause ] youre here at the tonight show im so we have a great crowd. Good show tonight. Heres what everyones talking about. Its still this its this crazy interview that Trumps Communications director Anthony Scaramucci gave to the new yorker. I guess he called the reporter to lash out. Thats what you do when you feel like lashing out, you call a reporter steve call the new yorker. Jimmy yeah, yeah. And he he wanted to talk about Reince Priebus and steve bannon. He forgot to ask that the conversation be off ....

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Transcripts For KNTV Late Night With Seth Meyers 20170902

Pieces of public art. Dude, if you love beautiful statues so much, why dont you marry one . Oh, okay [ laughter ] thats fair. Thats fair. New york city mayor bill de blasio announced yesterday that the city will conduct a 90day review of all racist symbols on City Property in an effort to determine which ones ought to be removed. Well let me give you a head start. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] axios, today published a list of groups that President Trump has alienated during his first seven months of office, and now the world is out of paper. [ light laughter ] [ applause ] in a new interview, Kim Kardashian revealed that she did karaoke with former president obama, said obama, that was just the national anthem. [ light laughter ] this week, chuck e. Cheese announced plans to remove some of its animatronic performe ....

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Transcripts For KPIX The Late Show With Stephen Colbert 20170902

Lend me your ears and also if you wouldnt mind lend me your rideon mower which is really handy. I vow to give it back as soon as you return my rake, you bulls pissle. Thats right, work it out, big boy william shakespeare, as youve never seen him before. Older, more mature, and with love handles. Oh, my cholesterol my cholesterol it was the show no one had the guts to make because no one thought it was a good idea until now. Mr. Will, brought to you by viagra. It hath screwed my courage to the sticking place. Ophelia this fall on t. N. Oops, never mind, its already been canceled. Announcer its the late show with stephen russian announcer takes over colbert its russia week tonight stephen welcomes Kenneth Branagh and Cara Delevingne, featuring jon batiste and stay human plus, stephen features americans with russians in moscow and now live on tape from the ed sullivan theater ....

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Transcripts For KNTV The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon 20170905

And featuring the legendary roots crew. Questlove 698 steve and now, here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause ] jimmy welcome, everybody. Welcome. Welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome to the tonight show, baby, this is it. Thank you for being here. Im your host jimmy fallon. You guys, we have ray romano on the show tonight. [ cheers and applause ] he stars in the new movie the big sick which is also the name of the Republican Health care bill. [ laughter and applause ] very interesting. Thats right, the Senate Health care bill came out today, and i saw that i saw that it would cut a tax on indoor tanning. [ laughter ] which is the biggest proof so far, that trump was actually working on the bill. [ laughter and applause ] thats a fact. Im sacrificing. This is pretty big though yesterday, white house officials said russia targeted election systems in 21 ....

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