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Transcripts For WBZ The Late Show With Stephen Colbert 20161004



i got that. ( cheering ) ( applause ) that s amazing. what a shot. start the show! stephen: we will in a second. start the show! stephen: sir, i ve been doing this aon start the show. then get to it, already! stephen: hey, it s the guy who made the putt, david johnson. look! ( cheers and applause ) hey! david! first of all, congratulations. that s really impressive. but, you know, you don t just start a show, you have to begin with topical, political humor. i could do it. ( laughter ) jokes about donald trump are a lot harder than making a putt. i can do both. stephen: okay, why don t you come up and show me? ( cheers and applause ) okay. stephen: david johnson, everybody! ( cheers and applause ) ( laughter ) i ll tell you what, let s make this more interesting. my friend mr. lincoln says good luck. david johnson, everybody. ( cheers and applause ) ? announcer: it s the late show with stephen colbert! tonight, mindy kaling! gary owen! music ....

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Transcripts For WDJT The Late Show With Stephen Colbert 20161004



i got that. ( cheering ) ( applause ) that s amazing. what a shot. start the show! stephen: we will in a second. start the show! te this a long time and i think i know how to. start the show. then get to it, already! stephen: hey, it s the guy who made the putt, david johnson. look! ( cheers and applause ) hey! david! first of all, congratulations. that s really impressive. but, you know, you don t just start a show, you have to begin with topical, political humor. i could do it. jokes about donald trump are a lot harder than making a putt. i can do both. stephen: okay, why don t you come up and show me? ( cheers and applause ) okay. stephen: david johnson, everybody! ( cheers and applause ) ( laughter ) i ll tell you what, let s make this more interesting. my friend mr. lincoln says good luck. david johnson, everybody. ( drum roll ) ( cheers and applause ) ? announcer: it s the late show with stephen colbert! tonight, mindy kaling! gary owen ....

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Transcripts For WNCN The Late Show With Stephen Colbert 20161004



i got that. ( cheering ) ( applause ) that s amazing. what a shot. start the show! stephen: we will in a second. start the show! sph this a long time and i think i know how to. start the show. then get to it, already! stephen: hey, it s the guy who made the putt, david johnson. look! ( cheers and applause ) hey! david! first of all, congratulations. that s really impressive. but, you know, you don t just start a show, you have to begin with topical, political humor. i could do it. jokes about donald trump are a lot harder than making a putt. i can do both. stephen: okay, why don t you come up and show me? ( cheers and applause ) okay. stephen: david johnson, everybody! ( cheers and applause ) ( laughter ) i ll tell you what, let s make this more interesting. my friend mr. lincoln says good luck. david johnson, everybody. ( drum roll ) ( cheers and applause ) ? announcer: it s the late show with stephen colbert! tonight, mindy kaling! gary o ....

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Transcripts For WOIO The Late Show With Stephen Colbert 20161004



i got that. ( cheering ) ( applause ) that s amazing. what a shot. start the show! stephen: we will in a second. start the show! stephen: sir, i ve been doing know how to. start the show. then get to it, already! stephen: hey, it s the guy who made the putt, david johnson. look! ( cheers and applause ) hey! david! first of all, congratulations. that s really impressive. but, you know, you don t just start a show, you have to begin with topical, political humor. i could do it. ( laughter ) jokes about donald trump are a lot harder than making a putt. i can do both. stephen: okay, why don t you come up and show me? ( cheers and applause ) okay. stephen: david johnson, everybody! ( cheers and applause ) ( laughter ) i ll tell you what, let s make this more interesting. my friend mr. lincoln says good luck. david johnson, everybody. ( drum roll ) ( cheers and applause ) ? announcer: it s the late show with stephen colbert! tonight, mindy kaling ....

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Transcripts For KGO Jimmy Kimmel Live 20160614



major night of basketball. a special thanks to those of you with us earlier in prime time. game five of the nba finals. the warriors tonight were shorthanded. they were out draymond green who was suspended for what was the latest in a series of attacks on other player s testicles. here he is taking steven adams of the oklahoma thunder during the last series, and this was on friday night the league called this unnecessary contact with the swipe at the hand of the i don t know. they really know how to make it sound sexy. but two days after the game he was charged with the flagrant foul. i feel like there should be a statute of limitations, like you have to call the foul before the pain goes away. if you get suspended in the nba, you re not allowed to be in the arena before or during the game. draymond watched the basketball democrat baseball game. he reportedly watched it from a suite at the oakland a s game. what were they afraid of? i feel like we should have known th ....

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