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Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Trevor Noah 20170117

No, no, dude. You dont just take one persons story and then add a couple things and call it yours luckily, with the money i made selling the movie rights to my book, ill be okay. You sold the movie rights . To who . James cameron. Go look. The movie came out already. They cant do that im student body president oh, god damn it son of a bitch ideastealing assholes you sons a bitches dances with smurfs was my idea my idea [grunting loudly] you cant just take dances with smurfs and call it Something Else [grunting loudly] [school bell rings] [groans] dude, what happened . Youre not doing the morning announcements anymore . No, because it turns out that by rule, the student body president cant also be the morning announcement reader oh, well. At least as president , you can run the school the way you want. I cant do jack i went to my First Student
United States , New York , South Africa , Martin Luther King Jr , Casey Miller , James Cameron , Martin Luther King , John Lewis , Sadie Hawkins , Steve Harvey , Marian Hill , Downton Abby , Cory Lewandowski , Hillary Clinton , Trevor Noah , Roy Wood Jr , Student Body , Something Else , School Way , First Student , First Student Council , First Student Council Meeting , Student Council , Student Council Meeting , Council Meeting , Grade Student ,

Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Trevor Noah 20170117

No, no, dude. You dont just take one persons story and then add a couple things and call it yours luckily, with the money i made selling the movie rights to my book, ill be okay. You sold the movie rights . To who . James cameron. Go look. The movie came out already. They cant do that im student body president oh, god damn it son of a bitch ideastealing assholes you sons a bitches dances with smurfs was my idea my idea [grunting loudly] you cant just take dances with smurfs and call it Something Else [grunting loudly] [school bell rings] [groans] dude, what happened . Youre not doing the morning announcements anymore . No, because it turns out that by rule, the student body president cant also be the morning announcement reader oh, well. At least as president , you can run the school the way you want. I cant do jack i went to my First Student
United States , New York , South Africa , Martin Luther King Jr , Casey Miller , James Cameron , Martin Luther King , John Lewis , Sadie Hawkins , Steve Harvey , Marian Hill , Downton Abby , Cory Lewandowski , Hillary Clinton , Trevor Noah , Roy Wood Jr , Student Body , Something Else , School Way , First Student , First Student Council , First Student Council Meeting , Student Council , Student Council Meeting , Council Meeting , Grade Student ,

Transcripts For COM The Daily Show 20170119

[groaning] [screams] aaaaahhh aaah aaaah [wailing] [groans] dude. Get outta here, you piece a gahbage you wanna smush . Go creepin somewheres else snooki get the smush in the youre gahbage you know that . Youre cabbage bah bah bah bah bah bah bah snooki bah bah bah you got cabbage in ya muff [gibberish] you got cabbage in your [bleep] muff [gibberish] [punch] [whimpering] [glass shatters] [sniffling] thank you, kyle. [gunshot] thats the last of it were out of ammo then weve got to start falling back to utah whats the point . Cant you see its over . [airplane engines roaring] who is that . Its alqaeda [cheering] [rockets screeching] [explosion] [explosion] give em hell, alqaeda [cheering] on a cold october night, a small town in colorado stood up to new jersey and finally said, go away. Our fortitude was the inspiration for others, and now new jersey is slowly receding back to the desolate land from whence it came. Our country is getting back to normal. And we owe it all to osama bin la ....

New York , United States , New Jersey , Sandy Hook , America Butler , Tim Kaine , George W Bush , Jesus Christ , Rex Tillerson , Marian Hill , Chris Murphy , Katrina George W Bush , Trevor Noah , Betsy Devos , Small Town , Osama Bin , Comedy Central , Daily Show , Samantha Power , Donald Trump , Wexford Museum , Museum Madrid , Group Femen , White House , Wax Museum , Intelligence Briefings ,

Transcripts For COM The Daily Show 20170119

[groaning] [screams] aaaaahhh aaah aaaah [wailing] [groans] dude. Get outta here, you piece a gahbage you wanna smush . Go creepin somewheres else snooki get the smush in the youre gahbage you know that . Youre cabbage bah bah bah bah bah bah bah snooki bah bah bah you got cabbage in ya muff [gibberish] you got cabbage in your [bleep] muff [gibberish] [punch] [whimpering] [glass shatters] [sniffling] thank you, kyle. [gunshot] thats the last of it were out of ammo then weve got to start falling back to utah whats the point . Cant you see its over . [airplane engines roaring] who is that . Its alqaeda [cheering] [rockets screeching] [explosion] [explosion] give em hell, alqaeda [cheering] on a cold october night, a small town in colorado stood up to new jersey and finally said, go away. Our fortitude was the inspiration for others, and now new jersey is slowly receding back to the desolate land from whence it came. Our country is getting back to normal. And we owe it all to osama bin la ....

New York , United States , New Jersey , Sandy Hook , America Butler , Tim Kaine , George W Bush , Jesus Christ , Rex Tillerson , Marian Hill , Chris Murphy , Katrina George W Bush , Trevor Noah , Betsy Devos , Small Town , Osama Bin , Comedy Central , Daily Show , Samantha Power , Donald Trump , Wexford Museum , Museum Madrid , Group Femen , White House , Wax Museum , Intelligence Briefings ,

Transcripts For KNTV The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon 20170118

And featuring the legendary roots crew. Questlove 604 British Columbia steve and now, here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause ] jimmy oh oh, wow thats what im talking about. Looking good hot crowd hot hot crowd tonight. Welcome, everybody. Welcome to the tonight show. This is it. You made it. Youre here [ cheers and applause ] thats what its all about. Heres what people are talking about, everybody. Heres what people are theyre talking about. Its being reported that donald trump doesnt like shaking hands with people. [ laughter ] and even called it barbaric. [ light laughter ] although take a look at this. I think maybe he just doesnt know how to shake hands. Watch this. What . No. Oh, there you go. [ laughter and applause ] its like Michelle Obama said, when they go low, you go, too slow. [ laughter and applause ] of course, people are talking about the inauguration ....

United States , New York , Rockefeller Center , United Kingdom , Jack London Square , San Francisco , Kevin James , John Lee , James Spader , Aziz Ansari , James Mcavoy , Nina Dobrev , Marian Hill , Vladimir Putin , Bruce Springsteen , Steve Martin , Michael Keaton Nina Dobrev , Jimmy Fallon , Queen Gail , John Lewis , Ray Kroc , Mike Tomlin , Don Barclay , Leah Shapiro , Patrick Warburton , Toby Keith ,