Curious Cape Cod: How to win summer
WELLFLEET I was applying sequins to the world s largest whoopee cushion, which I had just inflated in my driveway, when I heard laughter from the garage roof. Randall, my butler and astrologer, was up there hooting and pointing at the giant rubber bladder. Suddenly, he ran down the roof and launched himself out over the mega-pillow. No, Randall! I yelled. The sequins aren t dry yet! But it was too late.
A gassy earthquake sound, which can only be written as BLATTPRRFFT! echoed across the Outer Cape. Sequins filled the air like confetti, glittering as they fell to earth, gathering around the maniacally giggling Randall and spelling out the following message: How do I win summer on Cape Cod?
TRURO I was knee-deep in an amateur duck-herding competition, sorely missing the help of my recently retired border collie and bookie, Vigorish, when a malicious mallard clamped down on my inner thigh. I tried to hide my tears from the flock, but they sensed weakness and scattered. Even the judges booed, then held up scorecards, which, to my addled brain, seemed to spell out this message: Have you ever visited that strange little pond in Lombard Hollow? Does it have a name?
I gave my ducks the bird and skedaddled. The Curious Prius was already purring in the driveway and it was a short trip to the wild woods of South Truro. We parked just off Route 6; the rest of the journey would be on foot along a dirt road that stretches from the highway all the way to Old County Road.