Call your aunt ronda because of the restraining order . Deep state. And just like your actual crazy uncle, he doesnt know when to leave. Its pronounced kamala. Casa blanca . No, its kama, then la. Kookaburra . Yahtzee. This is settlers of catan. belches blowup crazy uncle. Because a family that inflates together celebrates together. You know any female sex dolls you can set me up with . Hell, give me a beach ball. Im not picky. Announcer its a late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonights transition to greatness. Plus stephen welcomes glenn close and musical guest kane brown with sway lee and khalid, featuring jon batiste and stay homin. And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan Theater Office building in new york city, its Stephen Colbert stephen hey, everybody welcome welcome heres mud in your eye to a late show. Im your host Stephen Colbert. Im very excited. Im also a little tired because i got up way early this morning and interviewed barack obama today. The only thing keeping me drivi
Of being responsible for saving daylight. Its time for daylight to learn to save itself. Thats right. [ cheers and applause ] yes, we got an extra hour of sleep, but we also got an extra hour of donald trump being president of the united states. Id like to set my calendar ahead a year. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] as of today were one day short of a year from the next president ial election. Interesting fact. At this point in 2015 a year ahead of the election you know who the republican frontrunner was . For real. Dr. Ben carson. [ laughter ] and then he woke up and it was all just a dream and then he went back to sleep. But at the white house today the president played host to the world series champion washington nationals. It was a little bit confusing. He was under the impression he was hosting white nationalists, not the nationals. [ laughter ] oh, its a baseball team. Thats nice. As players have been known to odo the nationals brought the president a jerzy. But not the usu
Eers andpplause announcer its the late show with Stephen Colbert tonight, quit while youre ahead plus stephen welcomes tim mcgraw and senator Sherrod Brown, featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause theme song playing stephen hey whoo fantastic thank you so much up here, down there, over there, my friends, my friends, my friends piano riff stephen welcome, welcome one and all to the late show. Im your host Stephen Colbert. It is a cheers and applause look at that thats all the sunshine you need right there. Those are new yorkers. Its a Beautiful Day here in new york. Blue skies, warm temperatures, and donald trump has officially changed his primary residence from manhattan to palm beach, florida. cheers and applause good riddance, don. Dont let the door hit ya where the porn star spanked ya. laughter i believe thats how it goes. I believe thats how it goes. According to sources close
He is risen [ laughter ] the the guy kept singing. [ laughter ] though the guy who played jesus burned to death. Luckily, he came back three days later, so. Be safe out there. Im jim jefferies. I think we can all do better. Good night. From comedy centrals world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with trevor noah. cheers and applause trevor welcome to the daily show, everybody thank you so much for tuning in and thank you for coming out cheers and applause so good to be here our first show of the week im trevor noah. Our guest tonight is a Pulitzer Prizewinning novelist whose new book is called the nickel boys Colson Whitehead is joining us cheers and applause phenomenal author. Were going to have a great conversation with him. Also on tonights show, Elizabeth Warren is killing private insurance, a bombshell in the fast fort hood industry, and mexico is unbuilding the wall. So lets catch up on todays headlines. Lets kick it off with mcdonalds, the Worlds Largest fast
Is the Chinese Owned Company a National Security threat . Breaking her silence. Demi lovato now speaking out for the First Time Since the overdose that nearly took her life. Im so tired of pretending like im not human. Thats one thing i wont do anymore. Why she says shes stronger than ever. Looking for some hot stuff and its back. The popeyes chicken sandwich sending fast food fans into a frenzy now finally returning. The hours long lines and the nfl star calling it the secret to his success. And good morning, america. Hope youre doing well this monday morning. Two people at this desk dont have really sore legs this morning. Over here. Are you guys wearing slippers . Well, actually i am but how was it . It was it was one of the most amazing experiences of my entire life. New york city at its finest. Everyone came out to cheer us on. I cant tell you how much that lifts you up. There we are running. I ran with my friends and that was so cool. We all finished within a second of each other