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Detailed text transcripts for TV channel - MSNBC - 20130311:15:48:00

Because of su kwefrt they cut my fails. my joke writers have been placed on furlough. i know a lot of you reported that no one will feel any immediate impact because of the sequester. well, you re about to find out how long you are. some of you have said that i m ignoring the washington press corps, that we re too controlling. you know what, you were right. i was wrong. and i want to apologize in a video on white house.gov. and finally, in the words of one of my favorite star trek characters, captain james t. kirk of the uss enterprise, may the force be with you. by the way, donald trump is saying that he will foot the bill. the tours got nixed due to the sequestration cuts. michael bloomberg promises to keep fighting for special gun laws saying special interests shouldn t be dominating this conversation. up until now it has only been the nra that has been talking about guns to the public and to ....

Joke Writers , Su Kwefrt , White House , My Favorite Star Trek Characters , Washington Press Corps , Won T , Donald Trump , Sequestration Cuts , Captain Jamest Kirk , Uss Enterprise , Shouldn T , Gun Laws , Michael Bloomberg ,

Transcripts for CNN CNN Newsroom 20130310 20:30:00

U.s. and $70 million overseas. james franco place the title role in the prequel of the 1933 original, the wizard of oz. former south african president nelson mandela is back home from the hospital. the 94-year-old was there overnight for a scheduled checkup. doctors say his test results are fine and he is doing well. here is what is trending online. with no cameras allowed, president obama got a chance to relax at the gridiron club it brought together politician and washington s media elite. the president opened with a warning to the room about his jokes to come, asking the audience to bear with him because my joke writers have been placed on furloughing. and charges filed against rapper mc hammer are dropped. hammer was pulled over last month because he had expired tags on a car. the police said he didn t own. police in dublin, california, ....

Title Role , South African President , Nelson Mandela , The Wizard Of Oz , James Franco , 00 Million , 70 Million , Barack Obama , Check Up , Test Results , Hamid Karzai , Joke Writers , Gridiron Club , Washingtons Media Elite , Mc Hammer ,

Detailed text transcripts for TV channel - FOXNEWS - 20121020:07:07:00

On monday it was back to sniping. the candidates will meet on foreign policy and libya might come up. the latest ripping leader ringleader is doing fine. he spent two leisurely hours on thursday evening at a crowded hotel siping mango juice on a patio and scoffing at the threats from the american and libyan governments. the paper later issued a correction, and this is real saying, quote, it was a strawberry frap and not mango juice. you know who else likes fraps? ed asner never gets old. bernie, let s start with the dinner. who had the better joke writers ? clearly president obama can siping al green, but that was a masterful performance. ....

Ripping Leader , Foreign Policy , Mango Juice , Hotel Siping , Strawberry Frap , President Obama , Al Green , Joke Writers , Ed Asner ,

Detailed text transcripts for TV channel - MSNBC - 20121019:03:56:00

And they respected each other. and you can even see that in some of their debates. but these two guys do not respect or like each other. in fact, i would say they not so cordially detest one another. so they will have to be acting tonight when they re seeming friendly. and we ll see whether there s a little extra edge to some of the humor that builds on what we saw in that second debate. it was about the most hostile debate we ve ever seen. yeah, it was. is this a night where the president needs to take the high road no matter what? yeah. i mean, it s a light evening. you know? and you re not expected to actually land real blows or score real points. but this is where the skill of the joke writers comes in. you know, can he break through the media clatter with something that also advances his message? and we ll see whether he does. it s all being scripted for him. the votes that they re after here, the people that pay the closest attention to the al smith dinner, i went four years ....

Each Other , Joke Writers , Media Clatter , Al Smith Dinner , Running Mates ,

Detailed text transcripts for TV channel - MSNBC - 20121019:00:56:00

But these two guys do not respect or like each other. in fact, i would say they not so cordially detest one another. so they will have to be acting tonight when they re seeming friendly. and we ll see whether there s a little extra edge to some of the humor that builds on what we saw in that second debate. it was about the most hostile debate we ve ever seen. yeah, it was. is this a night where the president needs to take the high road no matter what? yeah. i mean, it s a light evening. you know? and you re not expected to actually land real blows or score real points. but this is where the skill of the joke writers comes in. you know, can he break through the media clatter with something that also advances his message? and we ll see whether he does. it s all being scripted for him. the votes that they re after here, the people that pay the closest attention to the al smith dinner, i went four years ....

Each Other , Joke Writers , Al Smith Dinner , Media Clatter ,