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Transcripts For KPIX The Late Show With Stephen Colbert 20240713

But dont take it from me. Take it from this jingle announcer its the late show with Stephen Colbert tonight, bleach bum plus, stephen welcomes john mulaney. And musical guest john fogerty, featuring jon batiste and stay y homin. And now, live on tape from a safe distance, its Stephen Colbert stephen hey, everybody. Welcome to a late show. Im your host, Stephen Colbert. Just hearing the band do the theme song is strangely moving. I forgot how much i missed hearing those guys its how many days . How many days have we been doing this . 40 days. This is the 40th day that i have been quarantined with my wife and kids. I feel like noah, but i only have one dog, and hes only interested in my leg. We all want haircuts at this point. I did something drastic tonight, i combed my hair in the other direction just for a change of pace and that was a bad idea. First of all, im getting a very p atrician flop over here. This the very mid70s jackson brown. Over here, theres a lot of empty real estate i

Transcripts For KGO Good Morning America 20240714

Themselves for others, including the mother of three shielding her 2monthold. Now the suspected shooter in custody. This as we hear from some of these heroes who raced in running toward the gunfire, risking their lives to save others. And in ohio, chaos in downtown dayton. We got shots fired. We got multiple people down. Were going to need multiple medics. A gunman killing nine people, including his sister, and injuring more than two dozen. The dramatic surveillance images showing people running for their lives and police on the scene taking out the shooter in just 30 seconds, saving countless lives with their quick action. Overnight the powerful vigils and the calls for action. President trump set to address the nation this morning, facing questions about how his rhetoric is fueling the violence. Now some lawmakers calling for bold measures, demanding congress be called back to washington to act right now. Will this time be different . And what you can do to help. Our special edition

Transcripts For COM Bad News Bears 20170225

Nice. Sorry good catch. Boys, lunch is ready. There you go. squeaking woman gasps screaming aint no doubt about it, lady. You got a load of rats down there. gasps woman whimpering damn, is it 3 00 . I gotta get outta here. But, wait, what about my basement . Well, just call and make a followup appointment. Its no problem. But. You. Oh, sh oh upbeat, cheerful theme playing boy hey, go to first, go to first man fire fire nice throw. Boy 2 hey, hey over here, over here man much faster. Go to the ball, go to the ball. Here we go. Couple more. Boy 3 throw it, second base boy 4 throw it. Man safe. team chattering boy cover the bag, cover the bag. Man bring it in. Here you go. team chattering motorcycle approaching ahhh. Got one of those for me . Nice try, you little creep. Mr. Buttermaker. Mr. Buttermaker. Youre late. I got held up, sorry about that. Are you drinking . Oh, hell, no. Thats, uh. Nonalcoholic. Im drivin, you know. laughs oh. Im so sorry. You hear that, toby . Drinking and drivi

Transcripts For COM Bad News Bears 20161023

cool rock theme playing dog barks nice. Sorry good catch. Boys, lunch is ready. There you go. squeaking woman gasps screaming aint no doubt about it, lady. You got a load of rats down there. gasps woman whimpering damn, is it 3 00 . I gotta get outta here. But, wait, what about my basement . Well, just call and make a followup appointment. Its no problem. But. You. Oh, sh oh upbeat, cheerful theme playing boy hey, go to first, go to first man fire fire nice throw. Boy 2 hey, hey over here, over here man much faster. Go to the ball, go to the ball. Here we go. Couple more. Boy 3 throw it, second base boy 4 throw it. Man safe. team chattering boy cover the bag, cover the bag. Man bring it in. Here you go. team chattering motorcycle approaching ahhh. Got one of those for me . Nice try, you little creep. Mr. Buttermaker. Mr. Buttermaker. Youre late. I got held up, sorry about that. Are you drinking . Oh, hell, no. Thats, uh. Nonalcoholic. Im drivin, you know. laughs oh. Im so sorry. You he

Transcripts For COM Bad News Bears 20160528

motorcycle approaching ahhh. Got one of those for me . Nice try, you little creep. Mr. Buttermaker. Mr. Buttermaker. Youre late. I got held up, sorry about that. Are you drinking . Oh, hell, no. Thats, uh. Nonalcoholic. Im drivin, you know. laughs oh. Im so sorry. You hear that, toby . Drinking and driving dont mix. Thats right. Stay away from crack too. One hit of that stuff, and you wake up in prison married to some guy named big blue, and hes branding his initials in your ass with a hot coat hanger. I knew a guy. Uh uh uh, yes, crack. Is bad too. Yeah, i know, mom. But we are really excited to have you do this, and tobys really excited to play. Arent ya, honey . Uhhuh. Between his trumpet lessons, photo club, boy scouts and swimming, this is his favorite, isnt it, honey . Can you believe they tried to keep these kids out of the league . All kids should be able to play baseball, no matter what their skills. Well, i think they heard me loud and clear. All that aside, forget i filed th

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