Maybe it would. Maybe it wont. What the hell do you got to lose . Announcer its a late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight home sweet show plus, stephen welcomes conan obrien. And musical guest michael stipe. Featuring jon batiste and stay homin. And now live on tape from a safe distance, its Stephen Colbert stephen oh, hey i was just pretending i could be at home without a camera. Welcome to a late show. Im your host, Stephen Colbert. Happy to be here. Happy. Tuesday, i think . It is tuesday. Good. Thank you, thank you, sir. I dont always know. Im so grateful that im still able to do a show for you guys and for all of you out there who are watching, one assumes. Its possible my producers are lying to me that were broadcasting at all. Sure, stephen, weve put a van on n. It talks to space. Now take a shower and shout into your phone. Whatever. Im grateful for something to do. Now, there is one aspect of the show that i have really been missing and that is my conversations with our friend
Emporium is in business am we have all types of irresponsible irrigation. Rest assured these showerheads are so powerful, theyre the type a talking ape would use to hose down a human if apes controlled the world. It could happen. So order a showerhead from ted bedebt today where our mot el is always dont point directly into face. Its the late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight, stephen welcome from the circus alex wagner and Mark Mckinnon and musical guest baby rose featuring john batiste and staim homan and now from the ed sullivan theater, it is Stephen Colbert stephen well, welling well. Welcome to a late show. Im your host Stephen Colbert. Ladies and gentlemen, i hope you are sitting. And i hope this afternoon when your world was rocked, you werent knocked down because there was a huge bombshell in washington today from former trump fixer and man whose facial is socially distancing from his skull, Michael Cohen. Out of know where cohen released his new tell all book disloyal, it wa
Noah cyrus and Billy Ray Cyrus featuring john batiste and stay human. And now live from a safe distance its stephen colbert. Stephen welcome to a late show. Im your host stephen colbert. Its mid july and despite our best quarantine efforts yesterday america set a new record for daily coronavirus cases. Way more than we starnt started quarantining back in march it st almost as if that celebrity imagine video didnt help. Should we try another one. Maybe sugar pie, honey bunch. Sugar pie honey bunch. If florida alone new cases over the past week outstripped the total count in most european nations, that is a shocking vacuum of leadership in a state that i will remind you has an entil canwe just plug in annto e of o old guys and put him in charge. This country has really the pooch. Thank you, general. All the people in charge who told us the pandemic wasnt a big deal are looking big dumb right now like oklahoma governor and chonky dracula kevin stitt, cuz remember trumps rally in tulsa, ok
To commemorate everything the president didnt do. Order your coronavirus check, signed by donald trump, today. Please allow 810 weeks for delivery or longer if his hand cramps up. Its a late show with stephen colbert. Tonight whos to blame. Plus, stephen welcomes Shaquille Oneal astronaut Matt Berninger jessica meir featuring jon batiste and stay homin. and now, live on tape from a safe distance, its stephen colbert. Stephen are we rolling . Were rolling right now. And were on the air right now. What do you think of what do you think of the thing . Last night Cate Blanchett said i should have a flower or Something Back here . Is the orchid working . Or does this look like the lobby of a spa. I dont think so. I dont i dont think so. Is it real . Its real. I dont think so. Folks, if you watch the show, you know i criticize donald trump a lot, but with this coronavirus gripping our nation, i realize i dont do it enough. And i blame myself a sentence donald trump has never said. Because do
Series with lizzo. And a look at the Recording Industry charity that saves lives. Its monday, january 20th, 2020. Heres todays eye opener your world in 90 seconds. Were achieving what no administration has ever achieved before. And what i do get out of it . Tell me. I get impeached. President remains defiant ahead of trial. Does the senate want to have a fair trial or part of the cover up of the president. In kansas city two people are dead and a dozen injured after a shooting at a bar. The suspect believed to be among the dead. Virginia is taking precautions in advance of a gun rights rally. Neonazi groups will come in here and wreck it for us. Three u. S. Airports now screening incoming chinese passengers. A new virus could spread around the world. Many more questions. First time were hearing directly from prince harry about that decision to step back from the royal family. I know i havent always gotten it right, but as far as this goes, there was really no other option. Snow still f