this way is illegal. i want to express my thanks to the dozens of oh, and i got your curly fries. want me to feed them to you pelican style? yes, sir. ( crunch ) announcer: it s a late show with stephen colbert. tonight, shot heard around the world. plus, stephen welcomes: elmo. kumail nanjiani. and musical guest andra day. featuring jon batiste and stay homin . and now live from a safe distance, it s stephen colbert! stephen: we set over here? all right. do it. welcome to a late show. i m stephen colbert. just when you think things can t get any weirder, trump cranks it up to 11 and then swallows the knob. today, the president held a white house meeting with leaders in the restaurant industry. ( as trump ) before we begin, fellas, how about some apps for the whole table, okay? honey, let s get some jalapeno poppers. nachos? nachos, clam strips, and calamari, thanks. oooh, garlic knots! dammit. the topic was supposed to be reopening the economy, but then tr
country lawyer, but since when is enticing a foreign government to mess with our election a catty wampus booger boo? i rest my case! and the angry tubas. is it your position that president trump should not be impeached, even if all the evidence and arguments laid out by the house are accepted as fact? i ll answer the question. you want answers? i think i m entitled. you want answers? i want the truth! you can t handle the truth! i rest my case. so sign up today for darius lighthouse s acting school of legal acting. and you can trust me, because i m not only the theater s director. i ve also played a pivotal character on law and order. he was killed right here. keys, briefcase, just got home from work. ( laughter ) announcer: it s the late show with stephen colbert! dems the break week: 2020 candidates, gone but not forgotten. except the ones we forgot. tonight: obtuse of power. plus, stephen welcomes jim gaffigan and tom steyer. featuring jon batiste and stay huma
when entice ago foreign government to mess with our election a catty wampus booger boo? i rest my case! and the angry tubas. is it your position that president trump should not be impeached even if all the evidence and arguments laid out by the house are accepted as fact? i ll answer the question. you want answers? i think em entitled. you want answers? i want the truth! you can t handle the truth! i rest my case. so sign up today for darius lighthouse s acting school of legal acting, and you can trust me because i m not only the theater s director, i ve also played a pivotal character on law and order. he was killed right here. keys right here. his briefcase. he just got home from work. ( laughter ) ( cheers and applause ) announcer: it s the late show with stephen colbert! tonight, stephen welcomes jim axelrod and tom steyer, featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it s stephen colbert! ( ch
whoa. ( laughter ) that s amazing. stephen: yeah. i also take your prenatal vitamins every day. why would you need those? ( laughter ) ah. is it a boy or a girl? stephen: it s a burrito. ( laughter ) oh! i felt the kick! announcer: it s the lakjte show with stephen colbert. tonight, stephen welcomes and george takei, featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it s stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) ? ? ? ? ? ? stephen: hey! ( cheers and applause ) oh! woo-hoo! man! ( cheers and applause ) welcome to the show, everybody! thank you so much! thank you very much! welcome to the late show. thank you so much. please have a seat! thank you so much. you re very kind! welcome to the late show. i m your host, stephen colbert. the first presidential debate is monday, september 26. we here at the late show will be live that night. join us, won t you? ( cheers and applause ) but, it s going to be fun, it s goi
jessica alba, bradley whitford and george takei, featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it s stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) ? ? ? ? ? ? stephen: hey! hey, everybody! ( cheers and applause ) oh! woo-hoo! man! ( cheers and applause ) welcome to the show, everybody! thank you so much! thank you, ma am. welcome to the late show. thank you so much. please have a seat! thank you so much. you re very kind! welcome to the late show. i m your host, stephen colbert. the first presidential debate is monday, september 26. we here at the late show will be live that night. join us, won t you? ( cheers and applause ) but, it s going to be fun, it s going to be a lot of fun. but, last night, they held like a mini debate, like an appetizer debate. an amuse douche, if you will. ( laughter ) it was something called the commander-in-chief forum. hillary clinton and donald trump answering questions about national security