deadly. a gunman opens fire, killing a metro worker and injuring three others before heroic citizens jumped into action. tom brady calls it a career. i m retiring. for good. james: the game s most decorated quarterback says it s for real this time after seven super bowl wins and 23 seasons. and dancing for peace. the united ukrainian ballet will make its u.s. debut at the kenney center in washington. announcer: this is the cbs evening news with norah o donnell, reporting from the nation s capital. james: good evening and to our viewers in the west and thank you for joining us. norah is on assignment. i m james brown. millions are in the path of hazardous winter weather from snow and ice in the south to an arctic blast that is bringing bitterly cold temperatures and dangerous wind chills in the northeast. plus, the suspect in a violent kidnapping is now tied to a double murder. but first, family, friends, and dignitaries gather in memphis to mourn the death and c
A show featuring parodies of current events, commentary on significant issues and interviews with newsmakers, culture critics and media personalities. Fault. [laughter] the problem is that things keep getting better. Were doing good with north korea, middle east, gdp is going up and implement dropping. We have peace and prosperity yet the other networks see doomsday. [laughter] every day is doomsday. There is the problem. If every day is doomsday how do you know what the real doomsday is. What we need is a super duper doomsday. What if everything you knew about doomsday is wrong . Get ready for super duper doomsday. At the end of the world. Buckle up you will die and so is everyone else. Earth implodes destroying everything every created except a Doomsday Bunker full of my pillows. Greg that was the best. The ugly truth as the media and Hollywood Academia If Trump were to disappear what would they be doing . If you think these people are sick from trump anxiety imagine there trump with
Carry tourists on their backs. They are treated to massage comebacks and allyoucaneat buffet. Better them than me. Arthel they deserve it i like the pedicure part. Steaming, swamp Like Washington which has been drenched with the heaviest rainfall. It is wet in this town and steaming. Greg summons boxers are sticking back. [laughter] enough. You want to drive your enemies nuts . Have more fun than they are. Remember when i said when i be wild and we have a lot of f fun. He said hes not acting president ial and i would say its a lot easier to act
president ial than to do what i do. Anybody can act president ial. [applause] ladies and gentlemen, of the state of florida, thank you very much for being here. You are tremendous people. I will leave now because i am boring you to death. [laughter] i can be more president ial than any president in history, except for possibly a lincoln with the big cat. Greg abe lincoln was a big hat. Can you imagine abe and trump in a big debate . Check out mr
A show featuring parodies of current events, commentary on significant issues and interviews with newsmakers, culture critics and media personalities. [laughter] the problem is that things keep getting better. Were doing good with north korea, middle east, gdp is going up and implement dropping. We have peace and prosperity yet the other networks see doomsday. [laughter] every day is doomsday. There is the problem. If every day is doomsday how do you know what the real doomsday is. What we need is a super duper doomsday. What if everything you knew about doomsday is wrong . Get ready for super duper doomsday. At the end of the world. Buckle up you will die and so is everyone else. Earth implodes destroying everything every created except a Doomsday Bunker full of my pillows. Greg that was the best. The ugly truth as the media and Hollywood Academia If Trump were to disappear what would they be doing . If you think these people are sick from trump anxiety imagine there trump withdrawal.
A show featuring parodies of current events, commentary on significant issues and interviews with newsmakers, culture critics and media personalities. Die and so is everybody else. It starts when President Trump slices a tee shot. It strikes an asteroid that crashes into the moon. The statistic satellites can only broadcast the view 24 hours a day. Chris cuomo gets smarter. People are chasing each other in stores with alligators. Turtles start eating everything. U. N. Responds by making another movie about abba which sucks so bad that our blenders make the worst kind of virgin daiquiris. In dont believe what you see with your own ears. The final survivors on a last
stand elect adam levine. He tries to make peace by singing. Upon hearing this the earth implodes. Thus completing super duper doomsday. Greg thats the best ever. That was the best. All right. So the ugly truth, as the media and across deema deplore trump. If trump were disappear, what would they be doing . If you think these