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Nothing to see here. Mother, help me theyll never find me here, monkey. I got ya. Ts the late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight, in veep trouble. And pete alonso smashes things. Plus, stephen welcomes featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause stephen hey so nice to have you cheers and applause nice, beautiful. Beautiful. Please, have a seat everybody. Oh, happy friday, jon. Happy friday opinion welcome to the late show. Im your host, Stephen Colbert. The looming cheers and applause you cannot keep a friday crowd down. Thats what i know. cheers cant do it. Stephen you know what . The looming story in america right now is the looming impeachment of donald trump over his documented and repeated efforts confessed effo ....
With someone, something no one saw coming. Today we learned that october is here. Can you believe its october already . I cant believe it. I cant believe its october already. Well, its hard it to believe, but october is here already. Were moving into october already if you can believe it. Can you believe its already october . Its october, already. I dont believe it. Hard to believe that october is already here. October already. Can you believe it . Cannot believe its object already. I cant believe its already october. Hard to believe its october already. Hard to believe its october. Hard to believe its already october. Can you believe its october already. Were not doing this again. Jimmy, dont take this one. Jimmy, dont take this one. Thanks, kate. Jimmy im sorry. When someone gives me a gift, i have no choice but to take it. This is hard not to believe. All is not well in the white house right now. The president and his minions have been telling everyone that the allegations that have ....
With foreign leaders, especially the sexy ones. He failed to document meetings with vladimir putin, one with kim jong un and a sunday brunch with oj. Not really, but you can see it happening, right . And while records with these other leaders might be key to impeachment, they may not need records anymore. You remember that thing that trump did when he asked a government to investigate his rival, joe biden . He did it again, this time on tv. What exactly did you hope zelinsky would do about the phone call . I would think if they were honest about it, theyd start a Major Investigation into the bidens. Its a very simple answer. They should investigate the bidens, because how does a company thats newly formed and all these companies, and by the way, likewise, china should start an investigation into the bidens. Jimmy everyone should be investigated. Why isnt, rarely during a witch hunt do you see the witch drown herself. But this ....
Tonight, Russian Tiger and collusion. Plus stephen welcomes Carrie Underwood, kevin smith and jason mewes, featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now live on tape from the ed sullivan theater iyork ty, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause theme song playing stephen come on whoo welcome back beautiful beautiful thank you very much very kind what lovely people what lovely people. Welcome to the late show, everybody. Im your host Stephen Colbert. cheers and applause you know, the constitution gives the accused the right to remain silent, and clearly donald trump has never read the constitution. laughter because he will not shut the old hamburger hole. laughter everything he says just makes him guiltier. Well talk all about it in tonights episode of chopper tal ....
Jimmy fallon and now, here he is. Jimmy fallon [ applause ] [cheers and applause hey hey hey hey hello welcome thanks everybody oh, thank you very much. Welcome everybody. Thank you very much. Welcome. Please, please have a seat welcome, welcome, welcome to the tonight show everybody. Robert de niro is my guest tonight. [cheers and applause i called de niro back stage and i was like, youre on the show its good. Its good. Youre on the show he said keep doing that and i wont berobert stars in the new movie the irishman with al pacino and joe pesci a little strange to hear those three guys in a movie called the irishman. Like a movie starring liam neeson and Pierce Brosnan called the italian. The third night in a row we are coming to you live everybody [cheers and applause dont worry. Dont worry. If you missed anything we have a white house staffer back stage typing up a transcript so the big gnaws today trump released the transcript ....