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Transcripts For COM The Colbert Report 20131022

cheers and applause stephen welcome to the report. Good have you with us, ladying and gentlemen. Stephen, stephen, stephen stephen, stephen, stephen stephen, stephen, stephen stephen, stephen, stephen cheers and applause stephen thank you, ladies and gentlemen, thank you, please, nation, sit down thank you so much folks, good to have you with us. Folks, i got, its not always this way but tonight that chanting was as crisp as an october morning. laughter nation, im back from my vacation. Hi a great time. I spent it screaming obscenities at park rangers. laughter and of course the big story while i was gone is the end of the government shutdown. cheers and applause now congress can get back to the important work of government gridlock. laughter the shutdown cost the economy 24 billion and caused china to lower our Credit Rating to a minus, or as chinese parents call it an f. laughter this whole crisis, this whole crisis was so dramatic it lead some to ask is the United States a failed st

Transcripts For COM The Colbert Report 20131023

To the american people, that every one in washington just weeks earlier said would never happen. That was a remarkable victory. Stephen yes, this shutdowns with a remarkable victory. And as with all victories, we got to figure out who to blame. Well, fox news resident psychiatrist and fraudian phallic symbol dr. Kim ablow knows exactly who caused this victorious train wreck, jim . In the words hostage taking being held for ransom, he said that the republicans are threatening to blow the whole thing up. Theres a real victim mentality here. And it really explains the president s whole mentality and many of his policies. I think the president going back to when his dad abandoned him, when his mother left him with his grandparents, that all of those things lead him to feel victimized, hurt and injured. He and he has extended it to this country. Stephen yes, obamas refusal to negotiate with congress was just him getting back at his parents. I mean weve seen this sad story too many times. Af

Transcripts For COM The Colbert Report 20131022

Here it is your moment of zen. This is a rather large basin and here is the your heart, normal heart but basically about the size of two fists clamped together like this, maybe a little bit smaller and its a cheers and applause stephen welcome to the report. Good have you with us, ladying and gentlemen. Stephen, stephen, stephen stephen, stephen, stephen stephen, stephen, stephen stephen, stephen, stephen cheers and applause stephen thank you, ladies and gentlemen, thank you, please, nation, sit down thank you so much folks, good to have you with us. Folks, i got, its not always this way but tonight that chanting was as crisp as an october morning. laughter nation, im back from my vacation. Hi a great time. I spent it screaming obscenities at park rangers. laughter and of course the big story while i was gone is the end of the government shutdown. cheers and applause now congress can get back to the important work of government gridlock. laughter the shutdown cost the economy 24 billio

Transcripts For COM The Colbert Report 20131022

cheers and applause stephen welcome to the report. Good have you with us, ladying and gentlemen. Stephen, stephen, stephen stephen, stephen, stephen stephen, stephen, stephen stephen, stephen, stephen cheers and applause stephen thank you, ladies and gentlemen, thank you, please, nation, sit down thank you so much folks, good to have you with us. Folks, i got, its not always this way but tonight that chanting was as crisp as an october morning. laughter nation, im back from my vacation. Hi a great time. I spent it screaming obscenities at park rangers. laughter and of course the big story while i was gone is the end of the government shutdown. cheers and applause now congress can get back to the important work of government gridlock. laughter the shutdown cost the economy 24 billion and caused china to lower our Credit Rating to a minus, or as chinese parents call it an f. laughter this whole crisis, this whole crisis was so dramatic it lead some to ask is the United States a failed st

Transcripts For KCSM RT News 20140406

Side of this ancient natural the new. They want. It is up to natural is no one am here at most one thirty in the morning in afghanistan and thats the way we stop the sour. Accounting for the one in afghanistan for ten student voting under the shadow of the talibans terror threat. This could take several weeks before the successor to president karzais main opposition captain of staging the latest developments from kabul. We did hear from the independent election commission. Earlier the official tally is for civilians killed forty three wounded. Intel contacts in the past twenty four hours for Afghan Security forces that the soldiers killed nine policemen and i have to say for afghanistan. This is a relatively bloodless day ill know for at the exact challenge for quite some time as several weeks perhaps but officials do estimates record turnout seven million afghans captured the hearts of some twelve million eligible voters that is of course nearly sixty percent much higher that was on t

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