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Transcripts For COM The Daily Show 20170426

You boys get first prize. Thatll do, pig. Captions copyright 1998 Comedy Central a division of time warner entertainment company, l. P. Captioned at hbo Communications Center from Comedy Centrals world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with trevor noah. cheers and applause trevor welcome to the daily show thank you so much for tuning in we have a great guest tonight, Charlamagne Tha God is here, everybody cheers and applause its going to be a really interesting interview. But first, barack is back. Former president obama returned to the public spotlight for the First Time Since leaving the white house. He spoke to about 500 people yesterday at a forum for students in chicago. So, uh. Whats whats been going on while i have been gone . laughter trevor really, obama . Youre coming back with jokes now . So, uh. Whats been going on . I tell you whats been going on, we have been stuck with a putinloving, bronder bronzercd con man in chief, and youre here with jokes . Your

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Transcripts For COM The Daily Show 20170426

You boys get first prize. Thatll do, pig. Captions copyright 1998 Comedy Central a division of time warner entertainment company, l. P. Captioned at hbo Communications Center from Comedy Centrals world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with trevor noah. cheers and applause trevor welcome to the daily show thank you so much for tuning in we have a great guest tonight, Charlamagne Tha God is here, everybody cheers and applause its going to be a really interesting interview. But first, barack is back. Former president obama returned to the public spotlight for the First Time Since leaving the white house. He spoke to about 500 people yesterday at a forum for students in chicago. So, uh. Whats whats been going on while i have been gone . laughter trevor really, obama . Youre coming back with jokes now . So, uh. Whats been going on . I tell you whats been going on, we have been stuck with a putinloving, bronder bronzercd con man in chief, and youre here with jokes . Your

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New-york
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Transcripts For KGO Jimmy Kimmel Live 20170426

Something to my wife on april fools day but then i thought, you know what, tricking her into marrying me was more than enough prank. [ laughter ] i guess what im trying to say is im growing up, i really am. Tonight from phoenix, arizona the Ncaa College Basketball championships. Two number one seeds, North Carolina versus gonzaga. Or gonzaga. Im not honestly sure which is correct. So i alternate them every time i say it. I say it differently. Im right at least half of the time. But Gonzaga University was founded in 1887. This is interesting. It was founded as a bet to see if students would want a diploma from a school that sounded like it was named after a monkey disease. [ laughter ] turns out they do. Actually, i did look it up today. I was curious. Gonzaga university is named after an italian saint, a young italian saint, aloysius gonzaga, who looked like a pretty tough dude. [ laughter ] not the guy you want to take on in a pickup game at the park. [ laughter ] he will dress you up

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Transcripts For KNTV The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon 20170426

Featuring the legendary roots crew. Questlove 661, bakersfield yeah steve and now, here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thank you very much oh [ cheers and applause ] i feel the love i feel the love i give it right back to you. Welcome, everybody. Welcome to the tonight show. This is it. [ cheers and applause ] you made it this is the show, baby. Heres what people are talking about, you guys. I saw that President Trump did an interview the other day where he said that he never realized that being president was such a big responsibility. [ laughter ] somewhere far, far away, Hillary Clinton crushed the wine glass she was holding. [ laughter and applause ] god youve got to be kidding me in the meantime, trump is asking congress to fund his border wall, and there might be a Government Shutdown if they dont. Or as trump put it, you hear that . The wall hasnt even been built, and its already a huge obstacle. [ laughter ] its amazing [ applause ] how quickly that happened.

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Transcripts For KYW The Late Show With Stephen Colbert 20170425

Oh, the bees oh, my eyes, my eyes announcer its the late show with Stephen Colbert with Stephen Colbert. Tonight, stephen welcomes Allison Janney, Sheryl Sandberg and musical guest marty stuart, futuring jon batiste and stay human. And now, live from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause band playing stephen hey great time. Oh, my goodness its lovely to be here. Welcome to the late show. Im your host, Stephen Colbert. cheers and applause its a huge week for donald trump. On saturday, he will reach a hundred days in office. Boy, it sure seems longer laughter jimmy, can i see what i looked like on inauguration day. Yeah. laughter piano riff ive really got to moisturize. The first 100 days are a time to reflect on accomplishments, and trump hasnt got a lot. He still hasnt filled his cabinet, he didnt repeal obamacare, there are still muslims. But he did sign a law making it easier for mentally ill people to buy guns, and for hibernating bears to

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