[applause] [applause] greg: put your pants back on. Happy monday, everyone. Over the weekend donald trump held a rally in butler, pennsylvania. The site of the first assassination attempt. He spoke from behind a shield made of patent plexiglass, the same material they used to build nancy pelosi. Not to be outdone, kamala harris will join the view where the secret service will have harpoon guns in case the cast gets hungry. You are booing? get him out of here. On tuesday kamala harris will be interviewed, she is well prepared having worked for four years under a different fart man. [applause] greg: i will take it. After a seven month narcotics investigation of a large shipment of elephant tranquilizer has been seized on long island. Now how will i sleep? asks one woman. I thought that was going my way. Greg: a frontier jet caught fire during a hard landing at the las vegas airport. The company quickly responded by announcing they are bringing back the smoking section. In a rare solo
[ cheers and applause ] greg: yes, yes, you you should be clapping. I would be clapping if i were you. Happy wednesday everybody. The performance at last night s debate was panned up by both parties now talk of replacing him with a sharper more capable candidate. In a bazaar gaffe he said he was school shooters friends. School shooters denied this not wanting to associate with him. Ana navarro said of j. D. Vance to be a shape shifter. She s jealous he was able to shape shift without i was and pick. Throughout the debate he was seen writing on a notepad what could he have been writing. Nothing wrong with loving sports and men and sportsmen. Speaking of he called himself a knucklehead for saying he was in china during the denman square massacre i guess he needs to take this picture down from his website. Throughout the debate he had a deer in headlights look on his face looking like he. [ bleeps ] his pants according to someone familiar to the situation. Jimmy carter turns 100 this week
Greg all right. First of all, i would like to apologize to Tonights Audience and the viewers at home we will not be airing a cooking segment tonight. We apologize to mr. Do see but you will still be able to get his new Book Cooking with crisco for free. Instead we have a very special show tonight, lets welcome our guests, she is still quite humourous with a fetus in her uterus. New york times bestselling Author Or Author kat. She is from San Francisco but she will appreciate indoor plumbing, Emily Compagno New York times bestselling Author And Comedian tyrus and he loves diet coke, but hates the woke. Choosing this insanity over sean hannity. Lets crank it up to 11 for president 45 and 47. The 44th President Of The United States donald J Trump [applause] there you go. So, how was your Golf Game . Mr. Trump i have not been thinking about it too much lately. They always say golf is a very dangerous game. Greg it really is especially if they are playing with you. That was a mean joke. Stu
[cheering] thank you, thank you. All right, all right first of all i would like to apologize to Tonights Audience and viewers at home we will not be airing the Steve Doocy Cooking segment tonight. [laughter] we apologize to mr. Doocy Butir Youll still be ablein to get hs new Book Cooking with crisco for freeyo. Instead welfare a very special Show Tonight so lets welcome our guest. Shes still quite humorous with a fetus in her uterus New Yorks Times best Selling Author Washington contributor kat timpf shes from San Francisco and appreciates indoor Plumbingsh Cohost emily. E N Itfr is deltoid deflect an Asteroid Comedian former champion tyrus. And he loves Diet Coke but hates the woke. Choosing this insanity over Shaun Hannity lets crank it up to 11 for president 45 and 47, the Man P Interest rates In The Red corner from queens new York President of the united Statesid Donald j. Trump. [applause] there you go. [laughter] so mr. P, hows your Golf Game . I havent been thinking about it too