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Transcripts For COM The Daily Show 20160713

Every millimeter counts oh, sorry, sorry. laughter sending a probe more than half a billion miles away and putting it in orbit around jupiter is so amazing. What is even more amazing about america, is that wasnt even the most amazing thing that happened this weekend. And joey jaws chestnut hasp set matt stonie to regain the title at the july 4th hot dog eating contest in coney island. 70 hot dogs and buns in 10 minutes 70 hot dogs and buns trevor 70 hot dogs you guys, do you know how many hot dogs the winner ate in 1980 . Nine nine was enough to win you the title. Today thats the average customer order, my friends. What has changed . Not the human body but mans will and determination. Thats what makes america so great, an appetite for innovation in every realm. Im jealous, we dont have eating contests in africa. If you have food, youve already swofnlt simple as that. laughter you you have hot dogs . Then you are the winner applause of course, the giant news today is all about
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Transcripts For COM The Daily Show 20151116

White people are afraid of is having to win games without you. laughter a quick note to all the racists out there, when youre paint ago ago painting a swastika with feces, the joke is on you. Oh, yeah black people will know how much i hate them almost mmhmm what a punishment laughter lets move on to dr. Ben carson. laughter yes, he may be a neurosurgeon and a president ial candidate, but he dropped a new track and its dope. This campaign add running several cities. Vote and support ben carson for our next president itd be awesome america became a great nation early on not because it was flooded with politicians but because it was flooded with people who understood the value of personal responsibility trevor whoo damn yeah, he gets it. laughter that is the best rap about personal responsibility since j. D. s 99 problems about my fico score and won. But being a rap star is about your street cred. Thats why ben carson spent his life telling everyone how hard he used to be. A as teenager, ....

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