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[upbeat latin music playing] Hernando Marquez hey, are you Hernando Marquez, or am i Hernando Marquez . Hernando marquez [music resumes] okay. [both laugh maniacally] [music continues] both Hernando Marquez so youre semen, right . Male announcer from comedy centrals world news headquarters in new york, the daily show with trevor noah presents. [rock music] wow male announcer the beast of special. Animals. Theyre cute, theyre cuddly and sometimes, they even pass legislation. But sometimes, animals can also be a bit much. So to help us cover the big animal stories in the news, we turn to our own daily show animal expert, my australian cousin, with a new segment we call [bleep] these animals. [cheers and applause] [dramatic music] [australian accent] thanks, tr ....
And these protestors are coming out so happy, fists raised in victory. And theyre loving it because theyre having a voice in their place in history. Cheers. Cheers. To everybody. To literally everybody. Male announcer to lfrom comedy centrals world news headquarters in new york, the daily show with trevor noah presents. [rock music] wow male announcer the beast of special. Animals. Theyre cute, theyre cuddly and sometimes, they even pass legislation. But sometimes, animals can also be a bit much. So to help us cover the big animal stories in the news, we turn to our own daily show animal expert, my australian cousin, with a new segment we call [bleep] these animals. [cheers and applause] [dramatic music] [australian accent] thanks, trevor. [laughter] yeah, i used to like animals. Thats why i became a zoologist or whatever this hats for. Until one day, my animal hero, steve irwin, got stabbed in the heart by a bloody stingray. Everyone says stingrays are harmless. Well, try telling that ....
Its finally over, young keiki. Is your anger at rest . Yeah, i guess so. Except it still doesnt change the fact that ben affleck gets to be handsome, talented, and then gets to go home and kiss Jennifer Lopez. Ben affleck isnt with Jennifer Lopez anymore. Hes married to Jennifer Garner. Yeah. Its true. What . Really . But i thought i was totally jealous of him hes just married to Jennifer Garner . Oh, my gosh. I feel so much better you do . Yeah. Oh, i like that ben affleck guy. Hes a good filmmaker. Come on, kenny. I guess i owe the kids at school an apology. Did you see argo, kenny . Its a pretty good movie. Ben affleck has a lot going for him. Not everything, but a lot. Whoopee from comedy centrals world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show wit ....
Its finally over, young keiki. Is your anger at rest . Yeah, i guess so. Except it still doesnt change the fact that ben affleck gets to be handsome, talented, and then gets to go home and kiss Jennifer Lopez. Ben affleck isnt with Jennifer Lopez anymore. Hes married to Jennifer Garner. Yeah. Its true. What . Really . But i thought i was totally jealous of him hes just married to Jennifer Garner . Oh, my gosh. I feel so much better you do . Yeah. Oh, i like that ben affleck guy. Hes a good filmmaker. Come on, kenny. I guess i owe the kids at school an apology. Did you see argo, kenny . Its a pretty good movie. Ben affleck has a lot going for him. Not everything, but a lot. Whoopee from comedy centrals world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show wit ....
Looking at nude photos behind the wheel. What. I didnt look because i didnt want to see what else he was doing in the vehicle, but, you know. Only in chicago. Onlyinchicago. Trevor im sorry, only in chicago. I hate to break breakit to you, maam, but people masturbate everywhere. In chicago they use ketchup, a pickle and relish for some reason but everybody does it. So there was should th big snowstorm. They told us not to go into work yesterday. People were stock up on groceries. People were panicking about stuff. I punched an old man in trader joes, for nothing, it turns out. The one upside of the storm was that i fulfilled a lifelong dream of becoming snow bey, which i was really happy about. I went out and i made that happen. I made that happen. But other than that, lets be honest if you lived in the major cities this thing was overhyped, completely overhyped. And speaking of which, Rachel Maddow. laughter what the bleep . You m ....