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Transcripts For KNTV The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon 20240713

Wanted to do anything for the show heres something he came up with, him and dr. Kate stone, invented this thing, push it, hear. Jingle jangle, looks like you got a ring on the bell bootsy will be in the show. And got a call last night that bill murray wants to come on and talk with guy fieri tonight. Thats happening its a bizarre, fun show with mark russelllo, bill murray, guy fieri, Bootsy Collins and maria lambert, starts right now. Announcer tonight join jimmy and his guests, mark rolflo, bill murray and guy fieri, musical guests Miranda Lambert its the tonight show at home edition. And heres jimmy. Jimmy welcome to the tonight show. Lets get to the jokes mothers day happy mothers day to all the moms out there this sunday is mothers day but experts telling people not to visit their moms or hug them treat mothers day like its fathers day you kids remembered . You didnt of ....

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Transcripts For KNTV Late Night With Seth Meyers 20240713

Mariah carey has postponed a concert in hawaii this month due to the coronavirus outbreak. Instead, shell be replaced by a more coronavirusfriendly performer, Purell Williams [ laughter ] [ applause ] its all downhill from here. [ laughter ] a zoo in tennessee recently gained attention after their female Komodo Dragon reproduced without a male partner, or more likely, shes cheating, dude [ laughter ] a popup restaurant based on the movie clueless will open in los angeles later this month theyll even have someone who looks just like young paul rudd. Paul rudd. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause adult website, pornhub, has recently added more than 120 coronavirusthemed videos. [ light laughter ] guys, guys, were supposed to be conserving tissues right now [ laughter ] yeah [ applause ] Purell Williams. [ laughter ] disney ....

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Transcripts For KNTV The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon 20240713

That was the one that was the one, that was the one this ones from torlumis9 she said, expelled my kid from home school. Well, i think thats pretty common right now thats a good one. This is from moonanawbit1. She said, very close to befriending a volleyball my quarantine in six words this ones from mike t. Barrett. Says funyuns for dinner okay, breakfast too. Oh, this ones from gumgummerson. We love gumgummerson. Always sends us things thank you, gum. gumgummerson says, toilet paper is our god now. [ laughter ] i should say thank you to our, my camera operator my wife nancy. Thank you, nancy for being there and not laughing youre welcome. Jimmy not one joke, here we go that was the one, that was the one this ones from ryan labarge it says, is seven hot pockets too many the answer is no seven hot pockets is not too many this is from susan pickover. This says, this ends in divorce or murder come on now. Come on, now thats very funny. This ones from elcaptainsaucy. Oh, this is great. It ....

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Transcripts For KNTV Late Night With Seth Meyers 20240713

On the show, everybody [ cheers and applause and he is a legendary singer songwriter whose new album, American Standard, marks his 19th studio album. Back on the show to chat and perform for us, james taylor is here, everybody. [ cheers and applause so, its a great night before we get our guests out, the president went on fox news and lied to millions of people about the coronavirus outbreak as his administration bungles its response to the crisis for more on this, its time for a closer look. [ cheers and applause seth i think its safe to say at this point that the president of the United States is undermining Public Health and im not just saying that because he looks like an outbreak monkey that escaped from a lab [ laughter ] [ applause ] trump keeps lying to people about the potential threat posed bystes lags behind ....

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Transcripts For KNTV The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon 20240713

Tonight, join jimmy and his guests Rosario Dawson logan lerman musical guest Megan Thee Stallion, anfeaturing the legendary roots crew questlove 1209 steve and now, here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause [ cheers and applause jimmy oh oh, my goodness, hi thats a hot crowd that is a hot crowd tonight [ cheers and applause welcome, everybody welcome, welcome, welcome to the tonight show. [ cheers and applause youre here. You made it. Thank you. Guys, it seems like theres so much going on right now. The democratic primary is in full swing tomorrow is valentines day. [ cheers and applause what else . Samsung just introduced their new folding phone, i dont know if you saw that. And carls jr. Is rolling out its new thickburger. [ cheers ] that has an entire patty of fried cheese [ audience ohs ] theres a lot to go over lets just jump in and cover it all at once. Its ti ....

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