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Transcripts For MSNBC Andrea Mitchell Reports 20240912

Clearly, he is having a very difficult time processing that. World leaders are laughing at Donald Trump. I have talked with military leaders, some worked with you. They say you are a disgrace. What you will notice is that people start leaving his rallies early out of exhaustion and boredom. In springfield, they are eating the dogs. People that came in, they are eating the cats. They are eating the pets of the people that live there. Just minutes later with a huge endorsement from the biggest crossover celebrity, Taylor Swift, Signing Off as a childless Cat Lady. The first and possibly only debate highlighted included harris on womens reproductive health. One does not have to abandon their faith or deeply held beliefs to agree the government and Donald Trump certainly should not be telling a woman what to do with her body. The former President Lashing out at the democrats. I probably took a bullet to the head because of the things that they say about me. They talk about democracy. Im a

Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Trevor Noah 20240711

Stuff in the news right now. But before we get to that, lets kick it off with a fun crime story thats out of this world. And now that i hear that, it probably sounded like it has something to do with outer space, which it doesnt. No, its not out of this world. Its pretty cool, though. A wild chase worthy of the big screen. The suspect in a multimillion dollar ponzi scheme tried to escape the feds under the water of lake shasta. The u. S. Attorneys office says mathew percy took off in his truck when the f. B. I. Showed up at his home and eventually jumped on a sea scooter, a device that propels people up to 100 feet under water. Well, agents eventually spotted his bubbles and waited him out. When he finally came out, they cuffed him. Trevor man, there is so much i love about this story. First of all, i love how the guy had the sea scooter ready, like, he knew he was going to have to outrun the feds at some point. Thats going to be a hard one to explain to the judge. Not guilty, your hon

Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Trevor Noah 20240711

But before we get to that, lets kick it off with a fun crime story thats out of this world. And now that i hear that, it probably sounded like it has something to do with outer space, which it doesnt. No, its not out of this world. Its pretty cool, though. A wild chase worthy of the big screen. The suspect in a multimillion dollar ponzi scheme tried to escape the feds under the water of lake shasta. The u. S. Attorneys office says mathew percy took off in his truck when the f. B. I. Showed up at his home and eventually jumped on a sea scooter, a device that propels people up to 100 feet under water. Well, agents eventually spotted his bubbles and waited him out. When he finally came out, they cuffed him. Trevor man, there is so much i love about this story. First of all, i love how the guy had the sea scooter ready, like, he knew he was going to have to outrun the feds at some point. Thats going to be a hard one to explain to the judge. Not guilty, your honor although, yes, i did try t

Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Trevor Noah 20240711

Imagine if i started learning ference today, and eight months after practicing, i dont speak french. And i think its a little insane that these restrictions are just now happening. Because weve known the importance of wearing a mask for months, and some states are just now putting a mask mandate into place. Only now . This is like hosting a pool party, and then in the last ten minutes saying okay, new rule no shitting in the pool. Yeah looking at you, david i mean, better late than never, but thats some shit floating around. But this is why it is so important to always wear a mask in public spaces. You can protect your loved ones and your whole community with a 3 strip of fabric, people. You have no excuse. And maybe youre saying, but trevor, im a rich snob. I would never wear something that only costs 3. Well, now you have no excuse, either. Who says staying safe cant also be a fashion statement . The worlds most expensive face mask now making its debut. The 1. 5 million mask was crea

Transcripts For KGO Jimmy Kimmel Live 20240711

He didnt take questions from the reporters. But he did do his ceremonial duty in the rose garden, thats right, for the annual pardon of the white house turkey. I hereby grant you a full and complete pardon. Wow all the networks we have to forget about the law judges dont count [ laughter and applause ] jimmy enjoy your nightmares. Its the first turkey balesed with grecian formula. [ laughter ] trump did things a little differently this year. Instead of the usual pardon, they did a prisoner exchange. We pardoned two of theirs, they sent us two of ours. Smart. Why let the turkeys go for nothing . Just so the Vice President didnt feel left out this morning they let mike pence pardon a bowl of stuffing. [ laughter ] the president and first lady canceled their trip to maralago this week. Theyre planning to spend thanksgiving at the white house. What is that dinner going to be like . When they go around the table and ask what youre thankful for, everyone has to say him, right . Its more of a

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