KANSAS CITY, MO Noting that despite being old and tattered, the contraceptive was still his good luck charm, Kansas City Chiefs quarterback Patrick Mahomes admitted to reporters Thursday that he wore the same condom every time he had sex. “I know it sounds superstitious, but I just can’t fuck without it,” said the…
JACKSONVILLE, FL With the standard curriculum of anatomy, biology, risks, and consent continually being challenged by parent groups, sources confirmed Thursday that the only sex education that remains in the United States is pressing one’s ear against a shared wall to better hear the noises next door. “Listening for…