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Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Trevor Noah 20240711

[grunting loudly] you cant just take dances with smurfs and call it Something Else [grunting loudly] [school bell rings] [groans] dude, what happened . Youre not doing the morning announcements anymore . No, because it turns out that by rule, the student body president cant also be the morning announcement reader oh, well. At least as president , you can run the school the way you want. I cant do jack i went to my First Student Council Meeting all we did was talk about what colors to make the stupid Sadie Hawkins dance Student Council is retarded [chime sounding] the sun is up, and the birds are chirping. Im casey miller, and these are the morning announcements. I have a letter from second Grade Student brian felner. Brian writes, dear casey, why is our School President such a fat, stupid dickhead . My desk is broken, and so far, eric cartman has done nothing about it. Will you please let that walking bowl of anus pus know that we are not happy . Well, brian, i couldnt agree more. Our

Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Trevor Noah 20240712

[ scoffs ] the weirdest. Are you a weirdo . You make everyone around you crazy. People are normal then they hang out with you and then theyre Jack Nicholson in the shining. Im gonna tell my mom you tried to drown me. Its an above ground pool youre like eight feet tall i geh. Common bird. E. Ooh look over here something much better. There it is. Peacock, included with xfinity x1. Remarkable. Fascinating. Very. It streams tons of your favorite shows and movies, plus the latest in sports news and. Huh run the newest streaming app has landed on xfinity x1. Now thats. Simple. Easy. Awesome. Xfinity x1 just got even better with peacock premium included at no additional cost. No strings attached. Just say peacock into your voice remote to start watching today. Well, hello. Another person who cares about the future of our school oh, you bet. I love all the stuff you said about how our School President never does anything and how shes changing everything. Yes, well, now you can read about all t

Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Trevor Noah 20240713

Good mormore treatment . Were going to try Something Different today. Hi awwww, so pretty. Dogs bring out the good in us. PedigreeĀ® brings out the good in them. Where these sunsoaked litea leavesactory. Are picked at the peak of freshness. For a naturally smooth taste. And drinking lipton every day can help support a Healthy Heart will you stop botherin me . Im sortin my trash here your artwork is amazing my what work . People need to see this you need a website. You want to put even more trash on the internet . What are you doin . Very soon youre gonna be very famous right. Lady that is the last thing i would ever. Huh . Huh . What the. Stop put those away or here on a wifi hotspot. Lte Xfinity Mobile has more coverage to keep you connected to what matters most. Thats because its the only Wireless Network that automatically connects you to millions of secure wifi hotspots and the best lte everywhere else. Save up to 400 a year when you switch. Plus, save even more with 100 off galaxy

Transcripts For RT News 20240713

Director our studios in moscow this is our Team International im sean thomas certainly glad to have you with us all right exit polls from u. K. General election are predicting the conservative partys biggest victory in 30 years vote count is now underway and if projections are correct Boris Johnson has won a new term as Prime Minister a quick look at the numbers for you there are 650 seats in the house of commons so a party needs 326. 00 to hold a majority and if the exit polls are accurate the conservatives will be clear with about 368. 00 seats now british Prime Minister Boris Johnson tweeted his reaction to the exit polls posting his picture of him with his supporters and thanking everyone for voting he added we live in the greatest democracy in the world taylor is in london with more on the election. Well this has been billed as the election of a generation and for all those remains who for the past 3 years have been calling for a 2nd referendum a peoples vote is while they essenti

Transcripts For RT News 20240713

A run the clock across the world this is r. T. International from the team and myself you know neal hello and welcome. Its been quite the night in the u. K. The conservative party top the general election polls by a huge distance with leader Boris Johnson declaring breaks that can finally happened as for the opposition pretty much theres astros all runs with labor suffering humiliating defeat in areas long regarded as their loyal heartland some other big stories from iran the d u p a northerner which were holding up the conservatives for so long they have suffered a big defeat while well lets not find out more cross live to r. T. U. K. In westminster for our special continuing election coverage. Good afternoon sir its very clear that Boris Johnsons election gamble is paid off as he secures a massive majority in Parliament Well he has since made a victory speech and met the queen for permission to form a new government and return to downing street where former mayor of london Ken Living

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