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Transcripts For KPIX The Late Show With Stephen Colbert 20240713

Keep your foreskin feel this grapefruit. It feels like the pulsing part. Love one another. Im andrew yang, and i approve whatever this was. Its the late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight, once upon impeachment plus, stephen welcomes Jennifer Hudson Jonathan Pryce and musical Sharon Van Etten, with norah jones. Featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause stephen come on ho, ho, ho wooo have a seat. Thank you up there, up there, down here. My friends. My friends. My friends. Welcome to the late show, one and all. Im your host, Stephen Colbert. Well this is is this it . This tonight is the last late show before the holidays. I hope everybody out there gets the presents they want. Im looking forward to a great 2020, because next year, we could be getting a new president applause oh, father christmas, if you love me at all. And on day one, he or she will have a very important job getting

Transcripts For KPIX The Late Show With Stephen Colbert 20240713

And a special appearance by john lithgow. Featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause stephen the hey, happy holidays fantastic hello hows it going. Hi hey, jon. I like it. Happy wednesday. Stephen Stephen Stephen Stephen Stephen stephen hi so nice. Wednesday, right . cheers and applause stephen thanks, everybody, up there, down here, all around the world, all my friends and neighbors. Welcome, one and all, everybody, everybody. Welcome to the late show. I am your host, Stephen Colbert. Lets get right to it. We dont have any time. We dont have a minute to waste here. Its almost christmas. Im busy, youre busy. Ive got an oven full of snickerdoodles i have to finish the monologue before the timer goes off. Its just after six clrks as we speak, the full house of representatives is still debating the articles of impeachment. They havent voted yet, but im about to go on vacation, so im jus

Transcripts For FBC Varney Company 20240713

Good. Varney company is about to begin. David lets get right to your money and there is more of it. Markets expected to open higher as china cuts tariffs on 850 products. Come in, market watcher Keith Fitzgerald. Will we hit 29k or even 30k before the new year . What do you think . That is not as outrageous as it sounds. We are within striking distance of that. We got to have a good broad session, but the lack of headlines that are going to interfere with that is key. I think we will get there. David you think of what has happened in the past year and again, a lot of it had to do with the fed, wasnt necessarily because of trade policy, the fed was pushing up rates, that was pushing down the market, but 6,000 points since a year ago, and i think the bottom was actually more than 6,000 points, when you look at it today. What was happening then thats not happening now besides the fed . Well, i tell you what, this is a real testimony to the faith and inspiration and innovation that drives

Transcripts For KPIX The Late Show With Stephen Colbert 20240713

cheers and applause announcer its the late show with Stephen Colbert tonight, impeacher of the house plus, stephen welcomes Scarlett Johansson and a performance by the weeknd featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause stephen come on cheers and applause hi there cheers and applause what a lovely crowd. That is such a good thursday crowd, i wish they could stick around and be the friday crowd. It would be amazing. Never going to happen though. Anyway jon yeah, yeah. Stephen welcome to the late show, everybody. Im your host Stephen Colbert. There is cheers and applause you feel this excitement . Jon i feel it. Stephen do you feel the electricity . Its like the room is soaked with gasoline theres magic in the air here cheers and applause magic jon hey stephen magic here at the late show. You know why its the merger of cbs and viacom. I know them by their celebrity couple name, the peopl

Transcripts For KNTV The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon 20240713

Comedian Orlando Leyba and the featuring the legendary roots crew and now here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause [ cheers and applause jimmy oh, wow come on, now oh my goodness welcome, everybody welcome, welcome, welcome to the tonight show. This is it, youre here [ cheers and applause you guys, im so excited about this eddie murphy is my guest tonight. [ cheers and applause i love eddie so much in fact, earlier today i realized his career really sums up what President Trump is going through right now. [ light laughter ] ill show you what i mean. You see, 48 hrs ago, trump got impeached. In fact, things got so bad he even considered trading places with mike pence. [ laughter ] yep, trump had no idea bribing ukraine would boomerang back at him [ laughter ] and now impeachment will be a stain that follows him for the rest of his life. [ laughter ] yeah, trump was sending hundreds of tweets people thought that he was delirious. [ laughter ] in fact, trump was so mad he considered

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