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. yeah you up. here s jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] jimmy: thank you everybody. welcome. welcome to the show. thanks for watching. thanks for all of you for coming [ cheers and applause ] thank you for joining us on a very special night. bachelorette night in america. earlier this evening we bore witness rachael chose brian to be her lawful wedded bride and i ve been on a roll picked four of the last five bachelors to win and four of the last five bachelorettes. it s why they call me roaster damus. i feel somewhat vindicated. amazing thing happened tonight. my pick, peter, did something no one has done on the show before, noticed how crazy it was to marry a woman who is with two other people so he said i can t propose because i stake marriage proposal seriously by rachael said i m looking for a proposal now on tv. that was that. relationship over. and then peter broke down and started questioning himself. it s wrong. what s wrong with snu nothing s w ....
i m glad you re here. i m glad i m here. being on the west coast of the united states is not such a good thing anymore. i woke up this morning like good, okay, we re still alive. [ laughter ] is anybody else on edge because of the north korea stuff yesterday? walking around the house looking for things i could hide under. it was really then i was worrying about this and i came one a theory. and hear me out on this because it made me feel better and maybe it will work for you too. here s the theory. maybe kim jong un is just trying to ruin donald trump s vacation. [ laughter ] maybe that s what s going on here. he s playing golf? [ cheers and applause ] let s put a scare into him. what rhymes with bomb? guam? okay. [ laughter ] so all night last night everyone s on edge about north korea. we have no idea what s next. so this morning at 7:56 a.m. the president tweets my first order as president was to renovate and modernize our nuclear arsenal. it is now far stronger a ....
i m glad you re here. i m glad i m here. being on the west coast of the united states is not such a good thing anymore. i woke up this morning like good, okay, we re still alive. [ laughter ] is anybody else on edge because of the north korea stuff yesterday? walking around the house looking for things i could hide under. it was really then i was worrying about this and i came one a theory. and hear me out on this because it made me feel better and maybe it will work for you too. here s the theory. maybe kim jong un is just trying to ruin donald trump s vacation. [ laughter ] maybe that s what s going on here. he s playing golf? [ cheers and applause ] let s put a scare into him. what rhymes with bomb? guam? okay. [ laughter ] so all night last night everyone s on edge about north korea. we have no idea what s next. so this morning at 7:56 a.m. the president tweets my first order as president was to renovate and modernize our nuclear arsenal. it is now far stronger a ....
jimmy: hi, everybody. thank you. i m glad you are here. looking around now because this morning i saw one of the saddest things i have ever seen. i saw a man, an adult man and if there are children watching, i want to ask you to turn your televisions off now. i saw a man carrying a homemade selfie stick. just a regular stick with this phone at the end and the phone was secured to the stick with 800 feet of scotch tape. can you imagine? going to the lengths of making one at home. i don t know how it would work. you still have to press the button. i tried to help him. i thought you know what i will do, i will run him over with my car to put him out of his misery. but there were a lot of people on the street. instead i just drove by to give him one of these. with a woman too. he found someone to marry him. can you imagine this? he was not listening. the world is spinning out of control and men are making selfie sticks. you know how president trump said all that stuff abo ....
thank you. i m glad you are here. looking around now because this morning i saw one of the saddest things i have ever seen. i saw a man, an adult man and if there are children watching, i want to ask you to turn your televisions off now. i saw a man carrying a homemade selfie stick. just a regular stick with this wa secured to the stick with 800 feet of scotch tape. can you imagine? going to the lengths of making one at home. i don t know how it would work. you still have to press the button. i tried to help him. i thought you know what i will do, i will run him over with my car to put him out of his misery. but there were a lot of people on the street. instead i just drove by to give him one of these. with a woman too. he found someone to marry him. can you imagine this? he was not listening. the world is spinning out of control and men are making selfie sticks. you know how president trump said all that stuff about northa ndkoa 4y and everyone got worked up about it b ....