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COM The Colbert Report December 19, 2014

Down in my home state of south cackalacky. More on that shortly. But first lets get to the primary. Newt gingrich crushed mitt romney on saturday. After disappointing showings in iowa and New Hampshire, newts campaign looked terminally ill which is generally when he moves on to something better. laughter now newt, newt triumphs with 40 of the vote to mitt romneys 28 . A gap so wide you could fit newts head in it. laughter and gingrich sealed his victory in last weeks debate by going after americas most dangerous enemy, debate moderators. First on monday he laid the smackdown on juan williams. Speaker, gingrich, you recently said black americans should demand jobs, not food stamps. Cant you see that this is viewed at a minimum as insulting to all americans but particularly to black americans. No. I dont see that. Stephen whooo no. He doesnt see that, juan williams. Which you would understand if you and your homeboys werent so high f ....

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COM The Colbert Report December 19, 2014

[laughter] thats right. Its that time of year again, folks, when the president tries to convince us he was born. [laughter] were not buying it, obama. Everybody knows that american president s are born in february. Thats why its called president s day. Im not the only one who is angry. So is Sean Hannitys voice. Economic armageddon has been avoided, but the economy remains in tatters, so how does the president react . He throws himself a lavish birthday bash. Stephen damn straight. Instead of going to a birthday party, he should have been working on the economy. Now the recession is going to last four hours longer. [laughter] it is completely inappropriate for the president to turn a year older when the nation is in crisis. And its not first time obama has pulled this stuntd. I have learned that barack obama has selfishly celebrated a birthday during every crisis for the last 50 years. [laughter] in august of 1964, two days after t ....

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Polls are designed to preserve interests of politicians and their cronies

Polls are designed to preserve interests of politicians and their cronies
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COM The Colbert Report January 31, 2012



come on. stephen, stephen, stephen, stephen! stephen, stephen, stephen! stephen, stephen, stephen! (cheers and applause) stephen: thank you, my brothers. (cheers and applause) stephen: thank you my friends. welcome to the report. good to have you with us. folks, i hope you all had a great weekend. i sure did. down in my home state of south cackalacky. more on that shortly. but first let s get to the primary. newt gingrich crushed mitt romney on saturday. after disappointing showings in iowa and new hampshire, newt s campaign looked terminally ill which is generally when he moves on to something better. (laughter) now newt, newt triumphs with 40% of the vote to mitt romney s 28%. a gap so wide you could fit newt s head in it. (laughter) and gingrich sealed his victory in last week s debate by going after america s most dangerous enemy, debate moderators. first on monday he laid the smackdown on juan williams. speaker, gingrich, you recently said black americans s ....

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