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The wall mart is imploding l mart everybody out now erybo [all screaming] s [fart] haa ha ha ha boys, you did it you did you killed the wall mart the how did you do it, kyle . all wall marts start a selfdestruction sequence if you break a mirror brea in the back. Art we know how to destroy it now. In w spread the word to other towns. Spread wait, i think i understand the symbolism of the mirror. Td the the wall mart. Is us. Duh. You see, boys, if we like our smalltown charm more than big corporate bullies,more we all have to be willing to pay a little bit more. Bl do you understand . Yeah yeah lets all go shop at jims drug down, the street [all cheering] all oh, lord, kumbaya all right, lets not make that mistake again. Not n. Yeah, lets go shop over at true value. O shop lets go yeah captioning by captionmax www. Captionmax. Com welcome to the daily social distancing show. Im trevor noah. Today is monday, the 26th of october, which means, if you live in washington, colorado, montana, ....
Welcome to the daily social distancing show. From trevors couch in new york city to your couch somewhere in the world, this is the daily social distancing show with trevor noah. Trevor lets kick it off with the big story. Election day is now just eight days away. So at this point, my friends, you can forget about getting in shape for it because election day bodies are made during the primaries. This year, votes for are not waiting till the first tuesday in november to cast their ballots. The Record Number of americans taking advantage of early voting across the country. An unprecedented 57 million ballots have been cast, more than 40 to have the total votes counted in the 2016 general election. At one of new york citys premier venues snaking around the block in brooklyn while marching bands drum up excitement. Incredible turnout in the lines. Ive never seen this before in my life. Americans dont even have to be earthbound to vote. ....
President trump told reporters today that he would release a report on his finances before the 2020 election. And said that people will be shocked that the numbers are many, many times what you think. Okay, but anything times zero is zero [ laughter ] [ applause ] duchess Meghan Markle attended the u. S. Open this weekend to support her friend serena williams. Meanwhile, the queen went to the jets game. [ laughter ] a man on a mission to visit every starbucks in the world, last week visited his 15,000th location in peru and what do you know, they finally spelled his name right [ laughter and applause a 73yearold woman in india is now believed to be the oldest person to ever give birth after having twins this weekend via csection. The woman is doing fine, but shes definitely going to wait a few years before trying for more kids [ laughter ] u. S. News and world report has released its annual ranking of americas best universities wit ....