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Look at my school record, im always second best. Second beset on the debating team, fourth best on the tennis team, played second lead in the operetta, ranked 11th best in the scholarship. Well id say thats actually an enviable record. Well its just not good enough for me. Im getting sick of being a jack of all nothing. An alsoran. Someday, somewhere, at some thing and i dont care what it is. Id like to be the best. Numbero uno, just once. And if i were you, i wouldnt go around mimicking a mediocre maude like me. phone rings hello . Yes she is. Whos calling . Just a minute. Its george caster. Oh him, tell him i just left. Im sorry she just left. Betty, im ashamed of you. Oh, i know why he called. To ask me for a date tomorrow night and i happen to know phone rings you see im even fourth choice on his list. Just a minute. Its your boyfriend, gordon. Oh, well him ill talk to. Hello gordy. No of course i havent forgotten this is our our evening together. Will your aunt be leaving the same ....
You people sitting at home just dont know what youre missing. [ cheering ] ladies and gentlemen, the Springfield College alma mater. [ band plays alma mater ] jim. What does this remind you of . Oh. It reminds me of several things, most of all that im very happy. To be home in our comfortable living room instead of sitting on those hard bleacher seats, that i prefer our own fireplace to a smoky bonfire, in spite of the fact that shes far too sentimental. Morning, everyone. Good morning, betty. Did you have a good time last night, betty . I guess so, but ill be glad when all this homecoming business is over. Youll be glad when its over . Why . cause im beat. I have to spend all afternoon decorating the gym. Theres a luncheon for the alumni this noon. You better eat before you go over there. That place is loaded with alums. Every time you turn around, somebodys slapping someone on the back and saying, remember old pete or old j ....