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[applause] hello, america. hi, girl. i m jimmy the king of late night is off so instead you get the rodney king. good start. too soon, it was 1992, you guys. thank you. i get beat up a lot on the show for always mentioning that i m a former new york city cab driver but i ve had some pretty cool experiences behind the wheel. i once got al pacino, because he got in, and i was like, alpena, and he goes, my god, a white cab driver. what are the odds? i have had a tons of celebs in my taxi although i never drove gutfeld. i never picked up prince harry or meghan markle. although it s worth noting that my high-speed chase happened when i was on foot but the point is the point. growing up i felt bad for being a guy with a c-cup boopies but i wish i had them now i could get a bud light into them. [applause] jimmy. you know, we make fun of mulvaney but the truth is i would rather watch 10 hours of him pretending to be a woman than sit through another second of harry and megan s

Theme peasWe love youCome onBud light thingRodney kingYou guysNew york cityAl pacinoCab driverBehind the wheelMeghan markleDylan mulvaneyDidn tThe chaseSniff smellOn tuesday night