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Transcripts For WCAU Late Night With Seth Meyers 20180126

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Relationship with british Prime Minister theresa may. And said they are on the same wavelength. Added trump, if it wasnt for the language barrier, wed be best friends. [ laughter ] according to a new poll, 29 of people believe President Trump is a good role model for children. What . Was it multiple choice . [ audience ohs ] [ laughter ] thats right. According to a new poll, 29 of people believe President Trump is a good role model for children. Thats all we needed to hear said child protective services. Retired nba star kobe bryant has been nominated for an Academy Award for the short film dear basketball which is either a film about his basketball career or the single greatest movie ever made. [ laughter ] [ scattered applause ] pope francis yesterday condemned fake news saying the spread of false information dates back to the time of adam and eve. Specifically the part about there being an adam and eve. [ laughter ] [ applause ] officials in a South Carolina zoo say an orangutan briefly escaped his enclosure on monday, but then returned to his pen. Incidentally the orangutan escaped his enclosure is secret service code for when trump shows up at a policy briefing. [ laughter ] the orangutan is discussing immigration. [ laughter ] a new poll has found that 86 of americans said that its important that the president be loyal to their spouse. Said melania, no, seriously. Im good. [ laughter ] a South Carolina man was arrested this weekend for attacking a comedian during his show at a comedy club. Frankly, im surprised it doesnt happen to me more often said the comedian. [ audience ohs ] [ imitating bill cosby ] with the punching, and the hitting, and the attacking. Seth we all have a tiny voice in the back of our head. And this is very exciting. Thanks to newly developed technology, we here at late night now have the ability to record the tiny voice that is inside Donald Trumps head. And you might be surprised to know that like everyones inner voice, Donald Trumps is filled with paralyzing fear and selfdoubt. So here it is, once again, the tiny voice in the back of Donald Trumps head. Hey, donald. Its the tiny voice in your head. And im here to tell you, dont start singing the National Anthem unless you know all the words. Oh, no, you started. [ light laughter ] and you better know them all. But it looks like you maybe dont. Youre already doubting. Thats better, you stopped now. But dont oh, you cant decide, can you . Are you going to sing it . Or are you not going to sing it . Because there are words the whole time. [ light laughter ] but you seem to think like, theyre every few seconds. Okay. You know what . Just be quiet. Pat your chest. This is way better. Just rock a little and maybe pat, there you go. Say a word if you want. Throw one out there. Throw one out there. [ laughter ] okay, and then another pat, and thats good. And then maybe a big finish, give them a big finish. And the home of the babes [ cheers and applause ] seth weve got a great show for you tonight. His latest film the florida project is mustsee, willem dafoe is here tonight, everyone. [ cheers and applause ] shes starring in the terrific new show on tnt, the alienist. Dakota fanning is here tonight, everyone. [ cheers and applause ] she is the owner and founder of flour shop here in new york city, and has incredible cakes to show us. Amirah kassem is here, as well. [ cheers and applause ] youre here on a great night. Before we get to that, President Trump is in davos meeting with financial elites amd world leaders. Meanwhile, the lives of nearly 800,000 young undocumented immigrants are in limbo as he and democrats negotiate an immigration deal. For more on this, its time for a closer look. [ cheers and applause ] seth trump is in davos, switzerland for the annual World Economic forum. Hobnobbing with the worlds financial elite, and some of the richest people in the world. And that, of course, might come as a surprise to some of his supporters who were led to believe that trump would fight against those same global elites. In fact, trump has even gone so far as to claim he does not personally get along with rich people. My weakest supporters are with the very rich people. Isnt that funny . I dont get along that well with the rich. I dont even like the rich people that much. Its like, a weird deal. Our focus is on helping the folks who work in the mail rooms and the machine shops of america, the plumbers, the carpenters, the cops, the teachers, the truck drivers, the pipe fitters. The people that like me best. [ laughter ] actually, the rich people actually dont like me, which is sort of interesting. Seth trump always sounds so phony when he tries to claim hes not elite. Im sorry, but its not exactly convincing when you just tick off a list of jobs like youre naming members of the village people. [ laughter ] i get along with everyone, the cops, the construction workers, the indians, the cowboys. Leatherman. [ laughter ] and yet, despite his famed contempt for rich people, trump is the first president since 2000 to make the trip to davos. A playground for the wealthy elites whose approval, he obviously craves. In fact, this morning he was asked by a reporter, how he thought hed be received by the elite davos crowd. And he seemed to be enjoying the fact that throngs of people were following him around. You think youre going to be received well here . Are you going to be received well . I already am. Look. You take a look. You tell me. Seth oh, my god. He thinks just because there are crowds around him, hes popular. Its not because youre popular. Youre in europe. Theyre following you around for the same reason people rubberneck a crash on the highway. [ laughter ] how did that happen . Of course, despite trumps populist bluster, the wealthy elites of the world are very much benefiting from his presidency, specifically his tax and regulatory policies. And trump, in return, seems to be enjoying the validation from the davos crowd. This morning he met with british Prime Minister theresa may. Its been reported that may and trump dont get along. Especially since trump has tweeted nasty things about her and the uk. So when they met facetoface at davos today, trump tried to insist to reporters theyre, in fact, friends. But it was not very convincing. The Prime Minister and myself have a really great relationship. Although, some people dont necessarily believe that. But i can tell you, its true. I have tremendous respect for the Prime Minister and the job shes doing. And i think the feeling is mutual from the standpoint of liking each other a lot. [ light laughter ] seth i think the feeling is mutual from the standpoint of liking each other a lot . That sounds like the Hallmark Card for an arranged marriage. [ laughter ] but of course, even while trump is abroad, hes still grappling with the immigration debate here at home. And specifically over the fight for daca, the obamaera program that protects undocumented immigrants brought here as children from deportation. The daca debate is very much a microcosm of how Dysfunctional Congress has become. Because there are large majorities, in both houses, who say they would vote for a daca bill. And yet, gop leaders Like Senate Majority leader Mitch Mcconnell have blocked it. And clearly some senators are fed up with the gridlock. Like West Virginia democrat joe manchin, who made news this week with his assessment of how things are going in washington. Manchin has been very vocal about his displeasure with washington. Admits telling minority leader Chuck Schumer and others quote, this place sucks. [ laughter ] seth its official. Senators now talk about the senate, the way a kid describes a rundown summer camp upstate. [ laughter ] theres no xbox. And the only thing in the closet is cream of wheat. This place sucks [ laughter ] now democrats agreed to reopen the government in exchange for a vague promise from mcconnell that he would bring it up daca legislation up for a vote if theres no deal by february 8th. But mcconnell has already broken many promises, including to members of his own party. Schumer, himself, even admitted there was no guarantee that mcconnell would keep his word. But insisted that democrats would hold him accountable. Mcconnell said on the floor, and i realize sometimes hes broken his word before. But he said on the floor, we will definitely get a vote on february 8th of a bipartisan bill on d. R. E. A. M. Ers that has my okay. Is there is a guarantee that mcconnell keeps his word . No. But we are going to hold his feet to the fire. Seth im sorry democrats. But i just dont trust you to hold anyones feet to the fire. I dont even trust you around fire. [ laughter ] i cant imagine it not ending up with all your hair burned off. [ light laughter ] plus, Mitch Mcconnell is already in the fire. And he keeps coming out unscathed. At this point, im pretty sure he hatched from one of Daenerys Targaryens dragon eggs. [ laughter ] even republicans cant say unequivocally, that they trust mcconnell. Arizona senator jeff flake was asked point blank if he trusts mcconnell. And he wouldnt just say yes. Do you trust Mitch Mcconnell . I do think that commitment made like this today with such fanfare and this is for, you know, what will happen three weeks from now. I think we can count on it. Seth man, everyone says they want to get elected to bring Straight Talk to go to washington. But as soon as they show up, they turn into a bride having second thoughts on her wedding day. [ light laughter ] do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband to have and hold as long as you both shall live . Oh, well i mean definitely to have. [ laughter ] and im sure there will be some holding. But, i mean, who knows how long were going to live . So what does mcconnell have to say about all this skepticism . He keeps halfheartedly repeating his vague promise. But his choice of words isnt all that convincing. What do you say to those d. R. E. A. M. Ers who are worried that you wont keep your word and bring a bill to the floor . A lot can go wrong between now and then. I intend to keep my word. Seth what do you mean you intend . Its your word. Are you worried youll try to keep it, but it will get stuck in your neck bubble . [ laughter ] [ imitating Mitch Mcconnell ] oh, my promise is stuck. So thats all democrats got. And the process for how they got there doesnt exactly inspire confidence, either. A group of republicans and democrats met to broker the shutdown agreement. And one of the senators, maine republican susan collins, used a novel tactic to maintain order during the meeting. Multiple senators told cnn that lawmakers had agreed to use a talking stick. The agreement was that before anyone interrupted or shared their perspective, they should be holding the stick. At one point, senator Lamar Alexander of tennessee forcefully tossed the stick toward senator mark warner of virginia after warner interrupted him, nearly shattering a glass elephant belonging to collins. [ light laughter ] so the elephant nearly shattered because republicans couldnt agree on immigration policy. Do you think theres any chance they picked up on the symbolism . [ laughter ] hey guys, i dont want to cause alarm, but is it a bad omen that our bickering almost broke the symbol of our party . Oh, dont be silly. Its a coincidence. Okay, but also, the oil painting of Ronald Reagan is crying real tears. [ laughter ] senators then apparently agreed to use something less dangerous. After that incident, collins suggested using a small rubber ball and alexander also brought his own basketball, because itd be safer than a stick. A republican senator, who was in the room, said there were no injuries. There were a couple of close calls, but everything worked out fine. Did everything work out fine . Because from the sound of things, the people were trusting to fix immigration cant be trusted with a stick. [ laughter ] in fact, the socalled common sense caucus is apparently so proud of the fact that they used the talking stick to maintain peace, that collins went on cnn the next day and showed it off. What is a talking stick . Well, i can show it to you. Whoa [ laughter ] and as you can see, its beautifully beaded. Seth when you were picturing the stick, you didnt think it looked like that, did you . Be honest [ laughter ] not the stick you pictured. [ applause ] its like a cross between cspan and qvc. This next piece is a beautifully handcarved item used for bickering lawmakers who cant be civil. And it only costs your dignity. [ light laughter ] so you got a group of democrats who are proud of themselves for managing to keep the government open. And extracting a vague promise from known promise breaker, Mitch Mcconnell. But even the democrats, who are against the agreement, havent exactly done a great job of articulating their position. Heres massachusetts senator ed markey criticizing republicans for the shutdown by attempting to quote the musical hamilton. In hamilton, theres a great scene where the greatest song is where hamilton and madison and jefferson, go into the room. Its the room that where it happens. But right now, the republicans are all like aaron burr on the outside of the room, even though they control the house, the senate, and the presidency, pretending that they are not the deciders. They are, its the room where these issues get resolved. [ laughter ] the room where it happens, that they still have not created. Seth hear that interview and more on the new album ed markey butchers hamilton. [ laughter ] so the question for democrats now, is if they can honestly trust trump to negotiate on immigration giving that trumps position keeps changing depending on who hes talking to. And in particular, there is a group of hardline conservatives in congress and the white house, who whisper in trumps ear every time hes thinking of making a deal. And no one is a better example of that than immigration hardliner and senior policy adviser, stephen miller. [ thunder clap ] you rang . [ laughter ] seth miller is the one, along with a few others, who has repeatedly scuttled any attempt to make a daca deal. And just to give you an idea of how unhinged miller is, you might remember that he recently went on cnn to repeatedly call trump a genius in a combative interview that was cut off by cnn anchor jake tapper. Well, the Washington Post reported this week, that miller told colleagues that the show went well. And that he wouldnt have changed a thing. Okay, just to be clear, this is the interview you are talking about, right . Steve bannon didnt push the travel ban. If you let me steve bannon [ talking over each other ] if you let me ask this question. No. With his incredible work okay, youre not answering the question. [ talking over each other ] i think the viewers right now, can ascertain who is being hysterical. Jake [ talking over each other ] the president and the white house no, the reason why i want talk about [ talking over each other ] no, hold on a sec. I want to ask you a question, because no. Dont be condescending. [ talking over each other ] jake, jake. Stephen, stephen this isnt a courtroom. And i have a right to speak. Stephen, settle down. Settle down. Calm down. [ laughter ] seth you thought that interview went well . Jake tapper literally had to talk to you like a dog who cant stop humping the furniture. [ laughter ] hey settle down no, not my leg true story, the end of that interview, wolf blitzer had to shoot miller with a tranquilizer dart. [ laughter ] now late today, white house released a framework of a plan that could provide a path to citizenship for d. R. E. A. M. Ers, but would also include money for a wall and big cuts to familybased immigration. There are still major questions. And in the meantime, we have a president who has changed positions multiple times. And a Gop Senate Leader who has broken multiple promises. In other words this place sucks. [ laughter ] seth this has been a closer look. [ cheers and applause ] seth well be right back with willem dafoe, everybody [ cheers and applause ] announcer for more of seths closer looks, be sure to subscribe to late night on youtube. Hello, aloe. Kelp is on the way with herbal essences bio renew made with active antioxidants that work from the inside out. To help animate lifeless hair. Let life in with herbal essences bio renew. Try degree ultraclear black white saves your white clothes from yellow stains and black clothes from white marks still with 48 hour sweat protection. Try degree ultraclear black white it wont let you down elevator speaker going down. Oh no. Peter . Its kristy. Camp jenkins . Maybe this will jog your memory. Alexa, play my funky place. alexa playing your music. Remember our dance . Yeah, im not peter. Alexa, note to self. Take the stairs next time. Get a free moto mod with amazon alexa when you buy a moto z2. Available at major carriers. When you buy a moto z2. Pepsitoday, try great tasteste. With zero sugar. This is the pepsi with zero compromise. This is pepsi zero sugar. Nothing. What u doin . Hey. Break through. Break through. Im the one clocking in when youre clocking out. Sensing your every move and automatically adjusting to help you stay effortlessly comfortable. I can also help with this. Does your bed do that . Oh. I dont actually talk. Though im smart enough to. Im the new sleep number 360 smart bed. Lets meet at a sleep number store. [ cheers and applause ] seth welcome back, everybody. Give it up for the 8g band right over there [ cheers and applause ] also sitting in with us all week, weve had the fantastic drummer from renowned metal band, mastodon, whose album emperor of sand is grammynominated for best rock album. They also earned a second nomination in the best Metal Performance category. Brann dailor is here, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] thank you so much for another great week. Thank you. Seth always great having you here. Thank you. Seth our first guest tonight was oscarnominated for his roles in platoon and shadow of the vampire. He just received his third nomination for his performance in the florida project, which is in limited theaters. Lets take a look. I got a videotape of the kids illegally entering the utility room. [ child whispering ] did you hear what i just said to her . I got it. Imma talk to her. If it happens again, youre out of here. Its only second week of the summer and theres already been a dead fish in the pool. We were doing an experiment. We were trying to get it back alive. That wasnt my idea. And water balloons thrown at tourists. You cant [ bleep ] with tourists. Seth please welcome to the show, willem dafoe, everyone [ cheers and applause ] thank you so much for being here. Sure my pleasure. My pleasure. Seth this is truly one of my favorite movies of the year. Great. Seth its wonderful. I also before we get to it, i want to thank you because you were also nominated for a golden globe. You were in the audience. I made a joke about it was the first time men could hear their name as nominees and not be terrified. And you gave me a great reaction to that joke, and i think it got a bigger laugh than the joke itself. [ laughter ] i got a rubber face, what can i say. Seth you got a rubber face. It was great. Well thank you so much. So this film, you actually its about families living in a budget hotel in florida. Its obviously an actual hotel that was still running while you were shooting. Right. Right. There were residents there around that kind of, were living the same life that we were depicting in the film. Seth you play a manager of this hotel. Were there times that people who live there thought you were the actual manager . Well you know, like a couple of times, they had to get us out of the way because they had to check people in, for example. Seth uhhuh. Wed be in the middle of the scene and they were, like, can you move aside . We got business to do here. [ laughter ] seth and one of the other things that was great. Theres a fantastic scene in the movie where, as a manager, you have to get actual birds out of the way. These birds were theyre protected. So you couldnt touch them, and occasionally theyd come over to i think the real manager was feeding them cheetos. [ laughter ] seth okay, gotcha. Thats why they would come around, and sometimes theyd be in our shot. And one time the director said, can you deal with that those birds . And the camera was rolling and we went with it, so i had a little improvised scene with the birds. [ laughter ] and they were very good. Seth they were great. Theyre great partners. Seth yeah, great scene partners. It was a wonderful scene. I will also say, it seems like if birds are protected, you shouldnt be able to give them cheetos. [ laughter ] that seems like i didnt give them seth yeah, no look, its very clear. Its the other guy. Seth yeah, throw him under the bus. So the kids, obviously, youre a trained actor. The kids and a lot of the actors in this film came from local community theaters. Some of them had not acted before. One of the the mother that plays the well the mother and the 6yearold child are the main performers. And the child is 6yearsold. Seth yeah. Shes done some things but shes 6yearsold. Seth yeah. And bria who plays her mother, was found on instagram. Seth yeah, shes fantastic. Fantastic. And i loved performing with them because theyre very free. They have nothing to compare it to. Theyre totally in. Theyre really good at pretending. Theyre really good at just dealing with what were doing. They arent thinking outside of whats happening. Theyre very present and thats always a pleasure. Seth and so when you work with people who have less experience than you, does it make you feel more experienced, or does it bring you back to like when you were i think it brings you back, and thats what you always want to do. You kind of want to forget what you know and enter the story on its own terms, and not think about tricks you have or a process you need. You know, you try to find new ways. Seth you, there are a lot of people who are pulling for you at the oscars. Thats cool. Seth and one of them is denis leary. Denis leary tweeted, really need willem dafoe to win an oscar this year so i can be mistaken for an oscar winner wherever i go. [ laughter and applause ] so that was very nice. I mean, it seems a little selfinterested, but its still its selfinterest. Seth yeah, and then, this is pretty great. This morning my uber driver said he loved me in the florida project and wondered if i was working on my oscar speech. I said thank you and yes. Then we took a photo together. Godafoe. [ laughter and applause ] so it is its already happening. The only thing i got a beef with denis leary because he keeps on having me take the rap for dumbo drop. Seth oh, wow. So he was in the movie dumbo drop and now you have to answer questions about that . No, no, he always says, no, that wasnt me. That was dafoe seth oh, my god [ laughter ] its even worse. Ive never seen the movie. I shouldnt say it, until ive seen it. Seth thats true. I will tell you this. Its a good movie . Seth if hes getting credit for florida project, you deserve better than dumbo drop. [ laughter ] is there anyone who do you get mistaken for . Is that probably the best one, and the most the one that happens the most times is particularly when im thin, mick jagger. [ laughter ] seth okay, thats pretty great. And its always very enthusiastic. They its always, oh oh Mick Jagger Mick jagger [ laughter ] and i was like, oh, do that thing you know . I said come on baby, do that thing [ cheers and applause ] which is cool. Which is cool. I love mick jagger. Seth yeah. I grew up with mick jagger. Forget that hes about 20 years older than i am. [ laughter ] seth yeah, yeah. You got to let that go. Yeah. Hes cool. Seth but so you it seems like, because i will say, that was very good. [ light laughter ] it seems like you own it, and you dont do you correct people or do you let them have that moment and say they met mick jagger . Better yet. Once i was someplace it was in italy, and i went to the toilet and i heard the kitchen going mick jagger. Mick jagger. And i get so scared that theyd come out and ask me for an autograph or something. I was i didnt know whether i could say, no im not him. Or i just do it and hope i get out before they really ask me to dance or sing, you know. Seth yeah. The best would be if you were in italy and you faked it and they immediately looked were like, hes no mick jagger. [ laughter ] thats another story. Seth congratulations. Good luck at the oscars. It was its just such a fantastic film and its so great to have you. Thank you so much. Great, thank you. Seth willem dafoe, everybody. The florida project is in limited theaters now. Well be right back with dakota fanning. [ cheers and applause ] new year, new phones for the family. Join tmobile, and when you buy one of the latest samsung phones get a Samsung Galaxy s8 free. Plus, unlimited family plans come with netflix included. Tyson anytizers and crispy strips. [ sound of sports game ] you help fuel greatness. Youll just have to make the ultimate game day sacrifice. And be eaten. A little to the left. 1, 2, 3, push easy easy easy horn honking alright alright weve all got places to go weve all got places to go Washington Crossing the delaware turnpike . Surprising. Whats not surprising . How much money sean saved by switching to geico. Big man with a horn. Fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more. When you filter out the bad. Youre left with. The good. In life. And in water. Choose the cleaner, better tasting world of brita. Choose the filtered life. What happens now. Determines what happens to the rest of the world. Lets go experience aweinspiring performance in the 2018 lexus lc 500. This never gets old. Experience amazing. See Marvel Studios black panther in theaters feb 16th. [ cheers and applause ] seth you know our next guest from films like the twilight saga, the secret life of bees, and american pastoral. Shes currently starring in tnts limited series, the alienist, with new episodes airing monday nights at 9 00 p. M. Lets take a look. Conners been to see the santarellis. Does roosevelt know . Hes not in. I dont want to go talk to them. But youre employed as a typewriter. I prefer the term secretary, but i have good reason for wanting to involve myself. Youll not be welcome in that part of the neighborhood, you know. I may only be a secretary, but i do work for the police department. Oh, the riffraff wont care about that. Which is why ill need you to accompany me. They wont care about that either. Are you saying youre afraid . Seth please welcome to the show, dakota fanning, everyone [ cheers and applause ] seth welcome to the show. Thank you. Thanks for having me. Seth so congratulations on the alienist. This is your first foray into multiepisode television. Did you enjoy it . I did. I really did. It was one of the best working experiences ive ever had. It was almost seven months in budapest and just working with the best people, so. Seth you have very intricate costumes. Very beautiful costumes. They also look brutally uncomfortable. Is that true . Im sorry, michael, but yes, some of them were. [ laughter ] seth well, i dont blame todays modern costume designer. I blame the turn of the century. Totally. No, but they were i mean, i hesitate to even say that theyre costumes. These are real pieces of clothing that could have been worn in 1896. You know, it was like if there were 50 buttons down a dress, then they werent like snaps to like cheat it, you know . It was 50 buttons, and but i became, like, i had the same costumer every day who would get me dressed and undressed. Her name was dora, and the second they were like, okay, dakota, youre done. I was like, hat off, handing it to dora. Like jacket off, like pin off, tie off. Like i knew exactly what i could take off and just would leave this little trail from the set to the trailer. I was taking off each piece because its one of those things that you know when you have to be in it, youre fine, but the second that you know that your requirement is finished, its, like, okay. Seth yeah. Well, its gotta come off right now. Seth no, well also youre like, oh, im a crazy person dressed from a hundred years ago. [ laughter ] yeah, exactly. Exactly. Seth and you actually, you play a fictional character, but based on a real woman who was the first woman who worked in the nypd. Right. Yeah. Seth so that must have been a cool person to try to embody. I mean, yeah. When i read the character, i was so thrilled to play someone who she was the first woman to hold a title at the police department. In that clip you saw, shes the secretary to the Police Commissioner whos Theodore Roosevelt and you know, but even thats not good enough for her, you know what i mean . She has such aspirations to even be more than just a secretary, but thats sort of her way in to this world that isnt very welcoming to her. Seth i want to ask about this. You have an instagram, a private instagram account. [ laughter ] and you brag, youre very good at using youre good at internet stalking, and its so nice of you to brag about this, because a lot of people would keep that secret. [ laughter ] seth so what do you use blown my cover right now seth yeah, i know, but like so what do you how do you use instagram to find out like, cause youre a bit of a detective. Youre like your character. Youre getting to the bottom of things. Yes. Yes. Well, yeah. There are times when you have to go deep into you know before you could search peoples who they followed at the top. Seth yeah. Now you can like put in the first letter and all of the bs will come up. Seth yeah. It didnt used to be this way. You used to have to scroll through, somebody follows 523 people. Its like scroll through 523 people. But sometimes that was the only way to make connections, you know . Seth gotcha. What were you trying to connect . [ laughter ] well uh, you know. Seth you were like, theres been a murder, instagram. [ laughter ] yeah, exactly. You know, when you just feel somebodys lying to you and youve got to get down to the bottom of it. Seth oh, gotcha. Oh, so you would like follow, youd say like im if somebody would say like, im here. You find a connection and then youd find on someone elses account. Yeah, and i just like to know if i meet someone, i just like to know, like, who they are friends i dont know. [ laughter ] it makes me sound like a big creep but seth no, like a like a little one. Like a small creep. [ laughter ] seth so this you were not a huge sports fan, but you come from a family i cant say that in public, because my mom will like have my head if you say that about me. Seth well, would your mom admit you are less of a sports fan than her . You all are less of sports fans than my mom. Everyone in this room combined. Less. Seth and is it its been problematic her thirst for sports this is so funny. So, im cutting you off and telling my story. [ laughter ] seth no, no, please. Go for it. I went to the sag awards recently, and i presented and i got to wear this beautiful dress, and i a few weeks ago, i wanted my mom to come to a fitting of it cause my mom, she loves clothes and fashion. She has a great eye, and i like her to come with me sometimes to the fittings. And so i had a fitting, and i was like, oh, we have to be at samanthas at 1 00 for that dress fitting. Shes like, okay, okay. You know, that day rolls around and shes like, dakota, that is the georgiaalabama game. I was, like, yeah. Okay. Like, i gotta im here for like a day. I have to do it that day. Shes, like, who would plan anything today at 1 00 p. M. . [ laughter ] she was, like, mad at me, like actually mad. I was, like, theres nothing i can do. I it has to be this day. So she didnt come. Seth oh, wow. [ laughter ] thats great. And i guarantee the people at that fitting also did not know it was the alabamageorgia game. [ laughter ] congratulations. Thank you. Seth so much on the show. Its lovely having you here. Thank you so much. Seth dakota fanning, everybody. The alienist airs monday nights at 9 00 p. M. On tnt. Well be right back with more late night. [ cheers and applause ] get one on us. Ne iphone 8 and thats one for you, and one for. Your bbf your backup singer. Your frenemy your boo your roomie so one phone for you and one phone for someone in your squad. 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[click] [silence] [click] why is the screen empty . thank you espresso blonde starbucks its not just something we say when you arrive. The warmth of an irish welcome stays with you long after you leave. So come on over. Well give you the inside track. And let you into some Little Secrets that will take you back through history, bring our landscapes to life, and make your evenings last longer. Welcome to ireland. [ cheers and applause ] seth welcome back. You know, we devote a lot of time to breaking down complex issues and sometimes theyre news stories that require someone with a bit more expertise than me. And now, with his expertise, a 14yearold boy who just had his wisdom teeth out and the painkillers havent worn off yet. [ light laughter ] so live from the back of his moms jetta, say hello to lucas. How you doing, lucas . How am i doing . Im smoking. [ light laughter ] seth you seem a little out of it. Are you sure this is a good time . Im good if youre good. I just ran six miles. No, you didnt. No, i did not. Thank you, mom. Seth all right, well first, i was hoping we could talk about Net Neutrality. It has wideranging consequences, but lots of people dont even know what it means. Think you can explain it . Explain Net Neutrality . Seth if you can. Well you got to grab your butt, because im about to blow your mind out your butt. [ light laughter ] Net Neutrality. Okay, so you know how sometimes you go to 7eleven and you get a slurpie and its kind of warm, and it gets stuck in a straw, and it tastes a little bit like cat pee . Seth yeah, i guess. So Net Neutrality is that, but the internet. [ light laughter ] hey seth, did you know that i can sing . Seth no. Why you got to be so rude i sound do good mom, are you recording that . Im driving she recorded it. Seth lets move on. So lawmakers ended a threeday Government Shutdown this week. Think you can tell us what happened there . Absolutely. So, you know how when you go to find a seat at lunch and then your friend is, like, hey, i called dibs on that seat. And youre like, well, i called dibs on it yesterday. And hes like, well, i called dibs on that friday, and i was like, that doesnt count because dibs resets on sunday. Dibs resets on sunday, okay. And then, he never talks to you again. Seth yeah, i mean, i guess so. Okay. Its like that, but for the government. [ light laughter ] oh, seth, can i tell you a secret . I have a girlfriend. You dont have a girlfriend. I have lots of girlfriends, mom. Kaylor swiff. Miley jenner and charba streisand. Oh seth, did you know that i can do an impression of an automatic paper towel dispenser . Wave your hand in front of me. [ imitates towel dispenser ] [ light laughter ] seth wow, that was really good. That was really good. Thank you. Seth you have time to explain one more issue . Yeah, baby. Seth so pope francis recently made a big shift in the Catholic Church by allowing remarried people to take communion. Can you explain why this is so controversial . Okay, so first of all, communion is like, you know how a potato chip is like salty and crunchy and delicious . Seth sure. Okay, well, taking communion is the same thing as that, but its jesus. [ laughter ] hey, seth, can i tell you another secret . Seth yeah, well, i dont think i can stop you now. One time, i punched a guy so hard in the face, that he died. No, you didnt. No, i did not. But i did stab somebody. You didnt stab anyone. Yeah, because youre always hectoring me. Do you even know what that word means . Yeah, it means you have a big, fat butt. [ laughter ] i didnt mean that. She has a great butt. I love my mom. Seth well, lucas, listen, i appreciate you talking to us but i feel like were not going to be able to understand this issue. Well, i dont know whats so hard to understand, pope francis is just saying that gods mercy extends to everyone, even sinners, and that communion is not a prize for the perfect. Its nourishment for the weak. Seth oh lucas, that was really eyeopening. Are you catholic . I worship a kind of a jewish satan. Youre catholic. [ laughter ] im catholic. Seth all right, thank you, lucas. I hope you feel better soon. Why you got to be so rude well be right back with Amirah Kassem, everyone [ cheers and applause ] lock its tuition. From your first dream to your first dollar. From between shifts and after hours. From the struggle, to the reckoning. To the moment you sit in that auditorium and realize that your whole life is about to change. What if a university could guarantee fixed affordable tuition. From your first class, to your last. Can get us all out of sorts. 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[ cheers and applause ] seth welcome back to late night, everybody. Were here with Amirah Kassem, everyone. [ cheers and applause ] founder of the flour shop. Thank you so much for being here. Thank you for having me. Seth it is january, your birthday is in january. The whole month. Seth and you celebrate the whole month. The whole month is my birthday. Seth well, when you make cakes like this so, these are cakes. Everything here is a cake. Seth thats so amazing. Were going to make a cake. No, i slaved really hard at making all of these. So, youre going to make a cake. Seth oh, im im going to make a cake. All right, great. Sorry. Seth all right, so what cake are we making . So, this is our rainbow explosion. Seth okay. You ready . Seth yeah, of course. Ready to get dirty . Seth uhhuh. We play with our food here. Seth okay. So heres your piping bag. Seth okay. And you just frost right around there. Well just keep layering it until seth okay. Oh, there you go. You got use your hands. Well help you out here. Seth all right, im doing it. There we go, great. Thats perfect, i would say. Excellent. [ laughter ] i think it looks beautiful. Seth i think its great what are you doing though . Were just spreading it out a little bit, you know. Seth okay, gotcha. Okay good. I just would just love if you would ask, since im making it, if you would ask for permission. [ laughter ] i feel like well, youll do the next one. Youll do the next one. Well trade off. Seth okay, great. [ talking over each other ] well trade off. Seth all right. Heres your blue. Seth okay, great. You know, theres an order. [ talking over each other ] seth im very impressed youre doing it in actual rainbow order. Im impressed with your like, double grip situation. Seth all i needed hear was all i needed was a little guidance. All right. Great. There we go. This is not going great. I think that looks beautiful. I think youre doing great. [ light laughter ] seth thank you. You know, if you ever get tired of the late night thing you can seth yeah, just you can come bake. Seth and you opened your own bakery in soho. Yes seth congratulations. Ive been baking for five years and in a magical imagination of my brain. Seth yeah. And now its a physical space in soho, so its exciting. Seth and you used to make like, you would just make these for parties and stuff, right . Before you had your own place . Yeah, literally, anything you could dream, id bake it. Seth and so would people ask for stuff, like, i want a hamburger cake . Thats my favorite kind of person. Seth oh, that would want a hamburger cake . Yes. Seth do you have a favorite . Is there a kind is there something thats the most challenging . That i mean, this is a takeout container of chinese food is insane. It can be delivered to you whenever you want. [ light laughter ] seth yeah, thats great. My favorite food happens to be pizza and my friends know i eat it breakfast, lunch, and dinner. So we Just Launched a pizza cake. Seth okay, so this is but it actually comes, you know, in a pizza box. I hear you like pizza, from what i can see seth i love pizza. Youre going for it. Seth okay, im going for it. Get in there. Full slice of new york pie. Seth so this is just cake now. Wooh [ applause ] i love that. Youre almost done. Seth okay, great. I feel like this is a little a. D. D. For you. Seth yeah. [ laughter ] lets put some candy in there. Seth okay, where do we put the candy . In the just pour it all in. Seth okay, great. Just go crazy. This is the best part so there we go he knows how to do it can we eat some . Seth yeah. I just realized people work here. [ laughter ] i feel like thats great. Thats great. Youre doing great. Seth okay, great. Yep, this is perfect. Seth perfect. I like your attention to detail. Seth thank you. So now youre just going to do another one. Seth uhhuh. So, if this was in your shop, obviously people wouldnt pay full price for it. [ laughter ] we actually do kids decorating classes, and youre doing seth wait, why why would you say kids . Youre almost as good as the kids. [ laughter ] youre like almost as good as them. Seth okay, great. So, were going to practice a little more. Seth uhhuh. Now just cover the whole thing. Seth with what . With this . Go for it. Seth but just like what do you mean . Like the sides . Or just yeah, everything. Seth okay. Wooh seth wooh just go wild. Seth yeah, this is oh, my god, now im, like, really. Do you know when your parents like you cant play with your food . This is late night. You can play with your food. Seth i can play with my food. Wait, why dont you do that real quick, cause i want to try the you keep going. [ light laughter ] so, this seth version. [ light laughter ] my version. [ cheers and applause ] a little its very similar. I think this is beautiful. Seth this is beautiful. You know what it needs . There you go. Seth oh, thank you so much. I really feel like it was very unfair of you to bring out a totally finished cake while i was working on mine. [ laughter ] no, no, i was making this one secretly down here. Seth okay, gotcha. I multitask. Seth well oh, my goodness. This is great. Thank you so much for the cake. I think you should see the inside though. Seth oh, all right, great. I mean, theres more. Theres always more. Seth theres a reveal. Theres a big reveal. Are you guys ready for this . [ cheers ] seth this is, like, a its like a cake reveal when you have a kid. [ light laughter ] well, you basically did, right there. Oh im trying hard you guys seth oh, my god were having five [ cheers and applause ] you can have it. Now you can have a whole slice for yourself you need to share with me. You gotta share. Seth give it up for Amirah Kassem everybody [ cheers and applause ] to see more of her creations visit the soho new york store in person of online at flourshop. Com. Well be right back. Thats amazing look at that [ cheers and applause ] charmin ultra soft its softer than ever. Charmin ultra soft is twice as absorbent so you can use less. And its softer than ever. So its harder to resist. Okay, this is getting a little weird we all go, why not enjoy the go with charmin . [ cheers and applause ] seth my thanks to willem dafoe, dakota fanning, Amirah Kassem, everyone. Brann dailor and the 8g band stay tuned for carson daly well see you tomorrow [ cheers and applause ] carson hey whats up, everybody. Im carson daly coming to you from a great place. This is hyde on sunset. Weve got a good show. Youre watching last call. Thanks for being here. For r

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