- okay, king me. sir. i didn't see that coming. - oh, please, quentin! are you kidding? mr. magoo would've seen that one coming. why did you do that, quentin? you let me win, didn't you? - yes, yes, sir. - why did you let me win? - i value my job, sir... as someday i dream of opening my own truck rental agency. - (pounding stick) the game is over! - (pounding stick) can i get you a before-dinner bosco? - no, you can't get me a before-dinner bosco. you know why? you just like to say "bosco." (pounding stick) - to be sure. - i don't like him. - what's wrong, mearth? - oh, mommy... i'm bored. i've been all through this place, all the rooms. i'm tired and i miss daddy. - i know, sweetheart, i do, too. but i'm gonna talk to him about spending more time together, okay? - okay. - okay. - as a little backup, i made an appointment with him. as a matter of fact, for tuesday... his office. gosh, i hope i can find his office. - oh! oh, great, send him in. send him in. - very good. pops! - hi! - how are ya, sweetheart? where's that genius son-in-law of mine? - oh... mork buy you that coat? - i guess so-- i found it in the trunk of the rolls he gave me. - is everybody going crazy around here? - oh, honey, now, now, look. ctly what you're thinking. i mean, i've always brought you up to appreciate the simple things in life. but honey, you have to understand, at the time i was poor and stupid. - oh, dad, listen to me. this has just gone too far. look at us! uh, look at you and me, and-- and especially mork. - how dare you talk about mork that way! (horn beeping) k around 5:00, we might need a ride to the front door. don't bother washing it, we'll buy another one. oh, mind, darling, how are you? big kiss, hmm? mwah. (chuckles) poppy, how are you, how are you? - hello, son, how are ya? - oh, not too bad, though i lost a $100,000 today. - oh, stock market? - no, hole in my pants. oh, hon, time to play our little game again. right hand or left hand? come on. - oh, mork, not again. - oh, come on. n, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on! - okay. um... the right one. - behold! - oh. - oh! - oh, there we go. little oyster droppings here. there we are, huh? - oh, what a guy! honey, i've always told you it's just as easy to marry a rich alien as it is to marry a poor graduate student. - mork? - poppo. - mork, we have to talk. look, i don't want your presents, i want you. - oh, neither is penicillin, but it sure helps a strep throat. - mork, i mean, look at us. a minute ago i walked in here and mearth was playing a game of human checkers. - oh, did quentin beat him? 'cause i told him lose or else go back to being gaddafi's food taster. i'll get ahold of him right now, don't you worry. (bell ringing) (different bells ringing) yo-- - mork, this is what i'm talking about. - mind, i-- oh, olga. (mimicking foreign language) - will you talk to him, please? - of course i will, honey. now, look, son... you're the man of the house now. and i think you should run it any way you want. - thanks, dad. mork, we're gonna have to talk about this later because i've gotta get changed to go to work, but i wanna talk to you. - well, what about my career? - if it means that much to you, i'll just have to buy you nbc. - yes, and he'll do it, too. he bought me the new york philharmonic. - yeah, i knew bernstein had a price. - but, i don't want things just handed to me. i wanna work for my career-- for my success. - well, once you have nbc, you'll have to earn every penny. (mimicking foreign language) anguage) ...lookin' good. - mork, what about mearth? you just can't raise a normal child in this kind of an environment. - well, hon, didn't you get my memo? i mean, next week i'm sending him to school in switzerland. - switzerland?! - mm-hmm. - all right, now, you've gone too far! - well, if that's too far, we'll send him to school in england. - mork, listen to me. mork, i'm not happy here. this isn't our home. let's go back to our apartment. e, but it's not for mearth and me. - well, now wait a minute, hon, where-- where are you goin'? - i'm going home to our little cracker box apartment. here. - hey, but wait, wait, wait! you can't go now. j. d. salinger's coming over to shoot the bull. she's gone, pop. - ahh, she'll get over it. - oh, oh, pops? pops, reason with her. tell her opportunity only knocks once, - excuse me, sir. - oh, yes, quentin? - will there be anything else? - oh, yes, yes! let's fly down to rio. it's carnival time, you know? we'll put on those big heads and try and get in the car. - (sighs) i'd love to, sir, but this is the day i spend with my family. - oh, that's right. well, take care and have a good day. - good day, sir. - say hello to carmelita. - (scoffs, whistles) - hello! (echoes) but i miss being waited on hand and foot. - i miss daddy. - i miss daddy, too. but even more, i miss being waited on hand and foot. - that's not very nice. - i don't care if it's very nice. i'm spoiled rotten, i know that. da-- - shh, shh, shh! - oh, daddy! - (gasps) mork! - mind. - oh, mork, you came back! i knew you would. i knew you'd listen to what i said and realize that love is what makes our world go 'round. - oh, hon, well, actually, that's real close, because i-- i came back to tell you that, uh, i'm going around the world... uh, with my new love. mind, not only is she intelligent and well read, she can spike a volleyball from here to key west. kareem, eat your heart out! (barks flirtatiously) mommy, mommy, mommy, wake up. - oh, i was sleeping. - sleeping? ha! you were snoring so loud i had to have mearth wake you up before you blew your adenoids across the room. - mork, you're back! i mean, you're home. i mean... - hon, why shouldn't i? i mean, my name's on the mailbox, my clothes are in the closet, my hair's on the soap. - oh, mork, i had such a weird dream. - what kind of a dream? - oh, i dreamed, um... i dreamed that we lived in a big mansion with, um, butlers and maids... and tracy austin. and then you left us. - oh, mind, i mean, how can you dream that? i'd never leave you. i mean, with you, my life has meaning. without you, i'd just be another alien forced to do his own laundry. - (chuckles) it was just a silly dream. i-- i dreamed you could turn polyester into gold. i mean, it's impossible to make gold. but diamonds are a snap. tell you what. mearth? mearth? go into the garage, get those charcoal briquettes. mindy, you warm up the waffle iron. i'll go get my oil of olay. - no, i don't want diamonds! and i don't-- i don't want gold. - oh. - mork, calling orson. come in, orson. mork calling orson. come in, orson. mork calling orson. come in, oh, potentate of pasta! (orson) - laying down on the job again, mork? - oh, no, sir. i'm just getting in my mood for my report to you on dreams-- a wonderful aspect of earth behavior. - dreams? that's wonderful. what are they? - well, sir, they're little images that appear g's mind when he's sleeping. for example, sir, they come fast and furious and sometimes they're out of sequence just like a fellini film. (mimicking italian, mimicking car passing by) (mimicking woman speaking italian) they can take you to wonderful, strange places. they can haunt you! (gasps) they can thrill you-- ooh! - i see. - yes, sir. - another frivolous earth activity, like marching bands. - oh, no, sir. eams of all, sir, are the ones that give you a hope for tomorrow. till next week, sir, sweet dreams, and na-nu, na-nu. (sighs) (music box playing) daddy got his license! daddy got his license! okay, you lost, grandpops. fork over. mork driving -- who would believe it could happen here? i keep thinking one stiff wind four years ago, and he would have landed in kentucky. mork went out, set a goal for himself, and he achieved it. i think you should be very proud of him. still under the hood. made me laugh. ha ha! well, i'm free. i've got mobility now. i have got my license -- the key to joie. look at this. look at that. i can finally take that "just married" sticker off my bicycle. it was so hard dragging all those cans all these days. honey, look... don't think of me as your father -- think of me as your savior. you can't turn that maniac loose on the highway. will you have a little faith in mork? he didn't discourage you when you took up karate. oh, bless you, my little support system. this would be a red-letter day for me if i hadn't taken such a lousy license picture. amidst all of this excitement, i've written a poem. here it is. don't you read. okay. "now that my dad can drive and change a flat, please don't run over my new cat." bless you, son. that was wonderful. i loved your imagery and your meter. it's reminiscent of eubie or robert blake. [ knock on door ] oh, hello. hi. i'm bob miller, your neighbor from across the street. i seem to have gotten some of your mail. ou? yeah, and this is my husband, mork. hi, bob. i've seen you. when are you gonna take down those christmas lights? wait a minute! this is a subpoena! why don't you come over tomorrow? we'll wear some shorts, stand by a fire, and have a wienie roast? wait a minute! you just walked in here and lied to me! you're a process server. right across the street. by the way, can i borrow your rake? sorry you have to be going, neighbor. you can't treat people like that. they'll be walking their dogs in our lawn. what's this all about, honey? i don't know. ohh...eww. they want me to testify on that story i broke on the hidden springs highway scandal. it was where the road crew told me the contractor was skimping on the safety codes r way. now they want you to tell them who supplied the information. mm-hmm. i hope you're not going to release the name of the informant. you should stand on the first amendment and your rights as a journalist. too strong? it's okay when lou grant says it. i can identify with him. we've got matching bodies. if it wasn't for me, they wouldn't have the story in the first place. i respect your principles, but haven't journalists gone to jail for standing on the first amendment? this is just a little construction scandal, not the pentagon papers. no, they're not gonna do anything to me. this is "news line," and i'm larry carroll. ktns reporter mindy mcconnell was cited for contempt and jailed for refusing to reveal her source in the hidden springs bribery trial. in other news, finalists prep for the miss nude colorado contest. film at 10:00. come on, sister, move it. i've never been in jail before. life's tough -- i've never been to france. excuse me, but there's somebody else in there. maybe i could have a single cell? get in. wait a minute. i've got a question. are my things going to be all right? that's a very expensive sweater. don't put that on a hanger. oh, don't worry about it, honey. i'll only wear it weekends. hello! hi. aw, you poor, dear child. i know just how you feel. now, you come right here, and you sit down. would you care for a snickers? oh, no, thank you. suit yourself. i was just trying to be friendly. oh, i'm sorry. it's just -- i've never done time before. i've never even been grounded. i'm mindy mcconnell. and i'm louise bailey. my, but you are a cutie. what in the world are you doing in a hellhole like this? this. but my lawyer called, and she said i should be out in a few hours. it's funny the way things happen. i'm in here because of a silly old parking meter. you're kidding! no, i went in to a hardware store and when i came out, there was a policeman writing me a ticket. they threw you in jail for a parking ticket?! well, in a roundabout way. you see, when i put the shovel in the trunk, arm fell out. who's walter? my husband. well, what was he doing in the trunk? not much. he was dead. i warned him about his snoring for years, but he just wouldn't believe me. and i wrapped them around his neck real tight. it was the first good night's sleep i've had in 31 years. well, you look well-rested. you don't snore, do you, dear? no! no, uh, no. oh! my poor little prison pooter, my little san quentin quail. oh, min! the anguish, the degradation. but cute little dress, though! mork, i feel so humiliated, even though i know what i'm doing is right. they took everything. they took my clothes and my wedding band. and then they fingerprinted me and took mug shots. oh, min! mork, that woman told me that she murdered her husband! hi. how did mearth take it? did you tell him? he cried a lot. he kept saying, "mama's in the can, mama's in the can!" then he packed all your stuff in boxes and he moved in the bedroom with me. tell him to unpack. i'm gonna be out in a few hours. i got things to tide you over in case you're here longer. here's some cigarettes to bribe the screws. and here's a harmonica. visiting hours are over. let's go, shorty. you got it, butch. i miss you already. i miss you too, min. and, lady, she makes a real good roommate. don't let her snore and keep you awake at night. he was kidding. i don't snore. as a matter of fact, i don't even sleep. guard! mork... i'm afraid i've got some bad news. something's happened to gene rayburn. no, mork. oh, thank god! ndy's petition for release. she could be locked up for quite a while. oh, this is awful. mommy's not coming home for a while. mearth and i are gonna be plagued by relatives bringing over strange casseroles like tomato delight. i'm like daddy. i'm real sorry about that. john, we're giving you a raise. but i'm gonna pass. are you ok? honey, you got another present. no thank you, dad. who says no to more? time warner cable internet gives you more of what you and those little data hoggers want. like ultra-fast speeds up to 300 megs. that's 50x faster than dsl. this internet speed is sick. get 50 meg internet starting at $39.99 a month. call now. family can be online at once. g reat for kids to stream scary shows while not cleaning their room. you'll also get our exclusive 1-hour arrival window, a money-back guarantee, and there's no contract to sign. get 50 meg internet with no data cap starting at $39.99 a month. plus, free installation and access to over 500,000 twc wifi? hotspots nationwide. would rex pass up more beef stew? i don't think so.