Transcripts For WMUR Jimmy Kimmel Live 20161201 : comparemel

Transcripts For WMUR Jimmy Kimmel Live 20161201

Tonight we teamed up with bono from u and two to assemble dogooders to raise money for awareness and the fight against aids. Tonight were going to fight aids, tomorrow were going to fight with our families, what do you say to that . Here to help out what a group. Bono, Julia Roberts, heart reserve Channing Tatum, kristen bell, halsey, neil patrick harris, dj khaled and the killers. It will be a fun show. Im excited were going t backstage making small talk with dj khaled. A winwin. Red has raised over 360 million over the past years, a lot of money to raise. [ cheers and applause ] apparently they blew it on aids research so here we are again. All money raised goes directly were not asking you to run a marathon or dump a bucket of ice on your head. All you need to do is shop. If you cant do that, find another country to live in its unamerican. Last year we raised 28 million. This year bank of america made a 20 million commitment to fight aids, the bill and Melinda Gates foundation is matching every dollar we raise. These companies and organizations are changing peoples lives for the better. Tonight you may be able to change your own life for the better by special experience with your favorite star through omaze the website. You can go to vegas on a magic mike weekend with Channing Tatum. [ cheers and applause ] maybe even come back pregnant, who knows. You can see hamilton and meet the guy who plays hamilton. You can win a night on the town with neil patrick harris. Have tea with bono and Julia Roberts. U2 and bono will do a show just for you. U2 and you, too. If i do have to go to the bathroom in the middle of it, bono will stop playing until you get back, how amazing is that. Last year bono took his winner bike riding in central mark. Winners to a u. T. Football game. James franco painted his winners portrait. Kim kardashian gave the winner a make seven over. This year dj khaled will take you on a jet ski ride. Wouldnt you love to tell your grandchildren you rode on a jet all these songs, 10 of them, are on one album called dont waste your wishes. You can get that on itunes and apple music. Are you ready . [ cheers and applause ] lets get this started. How are you . How are you . Allow me on to slip into something comfortable. Wow. Hello america and canada. Products for you tonight. Interesting fact. Did you know that red is one of the three primary colors . Along with yellow and blue. Jimmy wow thats so interesting clam. Jimmy i did not know that, well, that is a great way to jump into our first amazing red product. Which i believe julia has, headphones. This is a in headphone cords. I had to cut my hair to free myself from a pair of earbuds. It grew back. These headphones are just the thing for you. Not a wire in sight. Does this have anything to do with saith tannism . No, its technology. Lets give these babies a try, . Who let the dogs out . Thats my Favorite Song . Who let the dogs out . Jimmy youre screaming a little. With up to 40 hours of battery life, its your perfect everyday headphone. . Who, who . A. A fiveminute charge gives you three hours of playback. The red special edition power station plus. 79. 95, you can get your phone charged guillermo what are you doing . What are you doing . My apple watch with my brandnew red sport band told me any time now you want to deliver that next line. Guillermo so i get up and move. Jimmy well, okay, thank god that red sports band is our next product or you would most certainly have been fired just now. Isnt that right, ladies . I would fire him myself. I would just say . Youre fired . Its fun saying . Youre fired . Is fun youre fired, Guillermo Guillermo okay. Jimmy the red apple watch sport band is one of the coolest things you can wear on your wrist. Guillermo, would you mind showing your watch to the viewers . Now guillermo, a watch band li 9400, right . Guillermo thats wrong, dumbass its for the low, low price of 49 with a portion of the proceeds going to reds fight against aids. I have to keep moving, sorry guys. Jimmy its okay. [ cheers and applause ] thank you, guillermo. Thanks. Ill tell you, i could not be more excited about our next product. Jimmy im sure thats not true. I bet it is true. Its not. This is the most excited i have ever been in my entire life. Jimmy wow, this must be some product you bet it is jimmy. Its the swell limited edition rowboat red 9oz. Water bottle. Jimmy thats amazing. Why, its a piece of red metal yes and if you twist off the cap, you can use it to store and carry liquid. Jimmy get out of town, theres liquid in there . Yes, try it jimmy ill be damned. Its water, it does look like liquid. It is thats very watery water your liquid cool for up to 24 hours, it will also keep liquids hot for up to 12 hours. Jimmy wow oh, you arent kidding, this clam chowder is scalding hot i think you just burned me badly. I think i did too, isnt it great . Jimmy it is great. The water is perfect for any time, when youre in the office or on the go or just objectifying the human body. Jimmy what is this . [ cheers and applause ] jimmy wow. The whole sets coming down. See that . Guillermo this wet tshirt make me look fat . No. Major wet t alert, guys jimmy that is a major t alert. Did someone say major key alert . Jimmy what . [ cheers and applause ] holy moly, look at this. Its dj khaled, everybody [ cheers and applause ] they dont want you to be safe, but theres nothing more major key than safety. Thats the key is to be safe. And youll never catch me with a vespa red without my helmet on, its so important. The key is to be safe, and of course the key is to always be around a beautiful lady. Aww it sure is, dj khaled. But so is style on this limited edition red vespa and every vespa purchased will help provide 500 days of lifesaving medication to People Living with hiv. Bless up jimmy bless up to you, dj. Bless up. [ cheers and applause ] i was just going to say that. Well, that was a fun surprise, wasnt it . It was fun, but it was also surprising. Jimmy yeah. O o killer products . Jimmy i know i am [ cheers and applause ] our next set of products were created by a partnership between gap, red, and six female artists. Six female artists . Thats more than five jimmy youre so right, Julia Roberts. These amazing pieces of outerwear will make even the ugliest people appear to be presentable. Look at our video wall. See . Almost not disgusting. [ cheers and applause ] although still kinda disgusting to be honest. Jimmy yeah, yeah. Hideous. Jimmy maybe hed look better jimmy much better. So much better jimmy. I was about to throw up jimmy wow. Now buckle your seat belts everyone were about to cruise into more fantastic products. You guys are going to go gaga for these next items around the wrist is the beautiful lokai bracelet. The white bead carries water from mt. Everest, the black bead contains mud from the dead sea. Jimmy that bracelet is quite the jetsetter elegant Deborah Lippmann limitededition full coverage crisp cranberry cr . Me cranberry kiss nail polish. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy it really is a lovely shade. Why its Brandon Flowers of the killers [ cheers and applause ] Brandon Flowers is killing it in cranberry cr . Me thank you. Now go away, brandon. Are you ready for our next product . Okay, now i am. Its the lovely, elegant pour les femmes pajamas. And here to model them for us, the fabulous mr. Channing tatum. [ cheers and applause ] awww. Look at that. Hes all tuckered out. Lets not wake the little guy. Jimmy pour les femmes is a socially conscious Sleepwear Company created by actress and activist robin wright and her friend, designer karen fowler. Portion of the Purchase Price goes to reds fight against aids. Jimmy that is such a good cause. Im against aids. Yeah, me too. Thats it for now. Well have even more amazing red products for you later in the show. This is so much fun, jimmy. Sure was. Thank you so much so my cohosts kristen and julia. We have to take a break. When we come back our starstudded red show continues with a duet from bono and halsey with herbie hancock, so stick around . . laughs. here it is. . . Hey dad . Wishes do come true. The lincoln wish list sales event is on. Family of luxury vehicles. Sign and drive off in a new 2017 lincoln mkc with zero down and a complimentary first months payment. When cold and flu hold you back try theraflu expressmax, now in new caplets. Its the only cold flu caplet that has a maximum strength formula with a unique warming sensation you instantly feel. Theraflu. For a powerful comeback. New expressmax caplets. I tried hard to quit smoking. But when we brought our daughter home, Technology Helps prevent your urge to smoke all day. Its the best thing that ever happened to me. Every great why needs a great how. . . . . Jimmy welcome back. Its me, kristen bell, and have i got another exciting product for you. Its the nph deck of cards. What does . Nph . Stand for, you ask . Well, it stands for . Nothing personal, homey. . It actually stands for neil patrick harris. [ cheers and applause ] my bad, my bad, im sorry, nph. My mistake. But nothing personal, homie. Ha ha ha you want to see a magic trick . Yeah, of course i want to see one. [ cheers and applause ] i have my own deck. You can buy your own. I had these decks made. And theyre beautiful. Proceeds go to red. [ cheers and applause ] theyre beautiful. Instead of in just choose a card that will represent you. To make it even more personal, i want you to sign the card in the center. Okay, my own name . Yeah, put it in the center there. Okay. Take that space up. Perfect. Did you sign with your right or left hand . Right hand. Take this. In your hand this way. Hold on to it, hold on to that end. Im so scared. I want to bend the card a lot. Okay. Im going to bending the card. A little bit of a rip. Here at the top. Youre really destroying this is not the pack were going to give you if you purchase the pack. Well give you a new one. I ripped it almost all the way to the the end. You take the rest of that piece and rip it down. So it comes off. Hold on to that. Watch this. Hes eating it. Is that the trick . No. No. No. Okay . [ cheers and applause ] no, wait. Essentially nothings happened. Right. You took a card, you signed it, i put it in my mouth and swallowed it. Thats what i saw. I this is this is the cool part. Watch close. [ cheers and applause ] it is attached [ cheers and applause ] well, that was nph amazing. What . Neil, while youre here, please tell us about your exciting omaze experience. I think this whole thing is fantastic. Reds involved, im working with coke. If you do ours you can win a trip, well fly you to new york city, put you up in a hotel, go to dinner, you and yfr [ cheers and applause ] thats amazing. Omazing that is omazing indeed. Jimmy thank you so much, kristen and neil patrick, he is magic, folks. [ cheers and applause ] this has been such a wild year. Not necessarily in a good way. So tonight to nail that to the wall we took an old cole porter song from 1939 and reworked it piano mr. Herbie hancock . Lets recall 2016 and all the nonsense we have seen . . I dont know where to start i just cant even . . What a swell year this has been . . Look at that filter . . The rodent less traveled . Isnt social media divine . . Heart emoji . . Whatever happened to vine . . Chicago cubs broke the curse bill cosbys news . Getting worse . Beyonce smashed that windshield in . . If you liked it you should have put a ding on it . . Was big for a month but now its gone . Too soon . Its rough never put a scribble or a jiggly post . . What a swell year it has been . . And have you heard about jon snow . What now . . Hes still alive on that dragon show . . And have you seen that hamilton . Sold out . Tough ticket heard even bono cant get in . . I tried . . Me too . . What a swell year this has been . . This year this year so weird . . So weird like kimmel with a beard . . 2016 crazy [ bleep ] . . Youve ever seen . . Not to fear we have it sorted . . Or maybe well just get deported . Swell year this has swell year this has . . Truly messed up royally fd up year this has been . . It really did suck . [ cheers and applause ] jimmy wow. Bono, halsey and herbie. And heres to 2017 well be back with Julia Roberts, kristen bell, and a lot [ cheers and applause ] . . For me . Oh my. gasps what is it . Its samsung gear vr. You put it in there. Push the play button. Ohhh. gasps laughs this is crazy oh my gosh hs laughter youve gotta try this. . We need a big tree. Something for everyone to gather around. And you know what else im thinking . Lights some help. Got it and the ornaments might take a little bit more time. But were gonna get it just right. What do you think bullseye . Hey hows this look . Hmm . Whoa what do ya think . Its like you. Its like you read my mind . . During the ford year end event, discover why ford is americas bestselling brand. . Im on top of the world, hey . With the most 5star ratings. Awardwinning value. And the highest owner loyalty. Giving drivers what matters most. Thats how you become year end event get an extra thousand dollars black friday bonus cash on top of all other great offers. Its an amazing time to visit your ford dealer. Just press clean and let roomba from irobot help with your everyday messes. Roomba navigates your entire home. Cleaning up pet hair and debris for up to 2 hours. Which means your floors are always clean. You and roomba, from irobot. Welcome back to our red shopathon. The next group of products is from ubuntu, a line that was created to celebrate the artisan work of the mymyew community. And we have a very special model to show you the goods. Now guillermo, where are these fantastic products youre wearing from . Guillermo ubuntu. What was that . One more time . Guillermo ubuntu. Close enough. Can you take us through each product . Sure. This is the ubuntu tote, this is the ubuntu shopper, this is the ubuntu massai travel pouch, the ubuntu bracelet and the ubuntu journal. Well, i sure hope people at home could understand anything that you said because i sure couldnt. Guillermo neither could i jimmy thank you so much, kristen. Guillermo and our lazy susan, a thing of beauty. Lets check in with some of our distinguished guests. The man who put this all together has 22 grammys, more than 170 million records sold and one name. His band is called u2. Please welcome bono, everyone [ cheers and applause ] jimmy have a seat, bono. Yes. Jimmy bono. [ cheers and applause ] great to have you here. I know you dont like to get too heavy about this stuff. Just tell us about some of the work that red does and is doing. Well, you know, actually, lets get heavy. Jimmy okay. Its just so its just great news. And it is weighty but its great news. And this is a time of year where i think americans would like to feel that theyve accomplished something together. People on the left, people on aids drugs that are keeping them alive. America is the largest part of that. 17 Million People are alive [ cheers and applause ] because of people right and left of the aisle. You dont think these things are possible in washington but we can actually work together. Jimmy your goal is to eliminate aids altogether. Thats right. Jimmy you feel like you will reach that goal. As long as we dont lose concentration. Which is why your show, your team, your band, this is the had to keep the heat on this issue. If we keep the heat on the issue, then the politicians will keep concentrated and well keep getting the drugs to the people who will die if we dont get them the drugs. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy something that anybody would be very happy to be a part of if it was put in front of them. Thats what you, do put it in front of people, let them know what is going on in other parts of the world. That said, what has happened . What have you achieved since the last time you were here last jimmy thats right, you got hurt on a bicycle accident. That is an achievement. Well, on the show last time, omaze offered people with a cycle ride in central park. Sounded innocuous. But for people who knew, im not really a person youd want to cycle with. That was brave and i met these two beautiful people, rob and anna, think was their name. Jimmy they got to ride went around the park, had lunch together, it was pretty cool. Jimmy this year you brought the whole band in on this deal. You are doing a private show for one person . Two people . How many people come to this thing . Its its hard to guess to get the u2 group to agree on anything. But edge, adam, larry and myself have agreed to play a private show for one person and a guest. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy so people go to omaze. Com red. Its 10. Its not one of those deals where you have to be rich. And then you enter and you can potentially get your own private concert. I mean, we played to 10 people once. 37 people. But to play for two people is Something Special for us. To play to no people they say is the ultimate achievement. [ laughter ] every rock n roll band knows what that feels like. Jimmy lets bring out one of your very close friends, a bona fide american sweetheart whos offering another special omaze experience, ladies and gentlemen, Julia Roberts [ cheers and applause ] . Jimmy im so interested in your friendship. Because how do you know each other so well . How did you meet in the first place . Julia roberts is irish. [ laughter ] jimmy that i didnt know either, thats a shocker. Mcroberts. Jimmy you met how many years i would say half my life ago. Jimmy half your life ago, wow. Right . Jimmy bonos looking at you in a suggestive way. There was the boring part of my life then the bono part of my life. Jimmy bonos having his own omaze experience right now. Youre not wrong, i shot a scene with roberts for the omaze commercial. I have known julia but i still feel wobbly sitting beside her. Jimmy oh, nice. Its a strange feeling when bono gives you credit for craft because frankly i feel like im napping compared to his accomplishments. He was like, wait a minute. Jimmy he makes everyone feel good, he really does. Kids a star. Jimmy you are offering an omaze experience together. We are. Jimmy which is interesting, its a tea . Party i guess . I thought we were massaging peoples feet. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy oh, what . Tea so is much better. Jimmy you cant do that in and touch feet on television. Jimmy what does it mean, tea party . Will it be a Real Tea Party . Or one like my daughter has with no tea . Tea ceremony. In ireland, nothing is done, nothing is achieved without a cup of tea. Jimmy is that true . Thats for sure. The Peace Process wouldnt happen without a cup of tea.

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