Transcripts For WMUR Jimmy Kimmel Live 20161123 : comparemel

Transcripts For WMUR Jimmy Kimmel Live 20161123

Allstar group of dogooders with the intent to raise money and awareness for the fight against aids. Tonight, were going to fight aids and then tomorrow we can go fight with our families [ cheers and applause ] what do you say to that . Here to help out tonight, what a group we have. Bono, Julia Roberts, Channing Tatum, kristen bell, halsey, neil patrick harris, herbie hancock, dj khaled and the killers. [ cheers and applause ] s and im also excited that Julia Roberts is backstage right now making small talk with dj khaled. [ cheers and applause ] thats what we call a winwin. Over the past ten years, red has raised more than 360 million [ cheers and applause ] which as lot of money to raise. But apparently they blew it all on eighth resaids research so h again. [ laughter ] and all you have to do is buy the stuff we show you tonight. Were not asking you to run a marathon. Were not asking you to dump a bucket of ice on your head. All you need to do, is shop. And if you cant do that, you need to find another country to live in. Its unamerican. Last year, our red shopathon raised 28 million. This year, bank of america has made a 20 million commitment to fight aids and the bill Melinda Gates foundation is matching every dollar we raise. They did it last year, and theyre doing it again this year. These companies and organizations are changing lives for the better and tonight, you might be able to change your own to win a special experience with your favorite star through omaze, the website. There are some fun ones too. You can go to vegas on a . Magic mike . Weekend with Channing Tatum. [ cheers and applause ] maybe even come back pregnant. Who knows. [ cheers and applause ] you can see hamilton and meet the guy who plays hamilton javier munoz. [ cheers and applause ] you can win a night on the town with neil patrick harris. Who is here. [ cheers and applause ] have lunch at nobu with liam [ cheers and applause ] and the big one, bono and his band u2 will do a show just for you. Imagine that. Just u2, and you too. [ cheers and applause ] if you have to go to the bathroom in the middle of the it, bono will stop playing and wait until you get back. How amazing is that . [ cheers and applause ] last year, bono took the winner of his omaze experience bikeriding in central park. Matthew mcconaughey took his winners to a u. T. Football game. James franco painted his winners portrait. Kim kardashian gave the winner of her omaze experience a makeover. And this year, dj khaled will take you on a jet ski ride. [ cheers and applause ] dont you want to be able to tell your grandchildren that you rode on a jet ski with dj khaled . [ laughter ] omaze. Com red. All the experiences are there, and there are many. Also for the past ten years now the killers have written a special Christmas Song to benefit red. I will tell you, i look forward to the killers annual Christmas Song even more than i look forward to christmas. All those songs ten of them including a new one for this year are now on one album called . Dont waste your wishes. . You can only get that on itunes and apple music so get it. Okay, are you ready to shopathon until we dropathon . [ cheers and applause ] lets get this started. Please welcome my shopathon cohosts Julia Roberts and kristen bell jimmy hello, ladies. Hi, jimmy. Jimmy how are you . How are you . [ cheers and applause ] jimmy allow me to slip into something red. Wow. Hello america [ cheers and applause ] we have so many amazing red products for you tonight. Interesting fact, did you know that red is one of three primary colors . Thats right along with yellow and blue jimmy wow. Thats so interesting i know. Jimmy i did not know that. Well that is a great way to jump right into our first amazing red product. Which i believe julia has. And it is headphones. Heres a gift for the music lover whos sick and tired of getting le yes, i once had to cut off a finger to free myself from a pair of earbuds. Jimmy oh my god well, it grew back. Jimmy well, then beats by dre red solo3 Wireless Headphones are just the thing for you, julia. Not a wire in sight. How do these things work . Does it have anything to do with satanism . Jimmy no satanism is about its just technology. Lets give these babies a try. Can i hear . Jimmy yeah, sure, sorry, got lost in the music for a second. My hair. . Who let the dogs out . Thats my Favorite Song too jimmy julia . . Who let the dogs out who, who . Jimmy youre screaming a little. . Who let the dogs out . Jimmy with up to 40 hours of battery life, beats solo3 wireless is your perfect everyday headphone. . Who, who, who . Jimmy and just a 5minute charge gives youou . I mean you you know you never did find out who let the dogs out. Jimmy never, did they sure didnt, wow. Up next, the mophie red special edition powerstation plus. For just 79. 95 you can keep your phone charged. Jimmy guillermo, what are you doing . Gee mario . Guillermo . What are you doing . Guillermo my apple watch with my brandnew red sports band told me i need to get up any time now you want to deliver that next line. Guillermo so i get up and move. Jimmy well, okay, thank god that red sports band is our next product or you would most certainly have been fired just now. Isnt that right, ladies . I would fire him myself. I would just say . Youre fired . Its fun saying . Youre fired . Is fun youre fired, Guillermo Guillermo okay. Sport band is one of the coolest things you can wear on your wrist. Guillermo, would you mind showing your watch to the viewers . Now guillermo, a watch band like that couldnt go for less than 9400, right . Guillermo thats wrong, dumbass its for the low, low price of 49 with a portion of the proceeds going to reds fight against aids. I have to keep moving, sorry guys. Jimmy its okay. [ cheers and applause ] thank you, guillermo. Thanks. Ill tell you, i could not be more excited about our next i bet it is true. Its not. And yet, it is. This is the most excited i have ever been in my entire life. Jimmy wow, this must be some product you bet it is jimmy. Its the swell limited edition rowboat red 9oz. Water bottle. Jimmy thats amazing. Why, its a piece of red metal yes and if you twist off the cap, you can use it to store and carry liquid. Jimmy get out of town, theres liquid in yes, try it jimmy ill be damned. Its water, it does look like liquid. It is thats very watery water and not only will it keep your liquid cool for up to 24 hours, it will also keep liquids hot for up to 12 hours. Jimmy wow oh, you arent kidding, this clam chowder is scalding hot i think you just burned me badly. I think i did too, isnt it great . Jimmy it is great. The water is perfect for any or on the go or just objectifying the human body. Jimmy what is this . Mama mia [ cheers and applause ] jimmy wow. The whole sets coming down. See that . Guillermo this wet tshirt make me look fat . No. Major wet t alert, jimmy that is a major t alert. Did someone say major key alert . Jimmy what . [ cheers and applause ] holy moly, look at this. Its dj khaled, everybody [ cheers and applause ] they dont want you to be safe, but theres nothing more major key than safety. Thats the key is to be safe. And youll never catch me with a vespa red without my helmet on, its so important. The key is to be safe, and of around a beautiful lady. Aww it sure is, dj khaled. Not only is safety a major key, but so is style on this limited edition red vespa and every vespa purchased will help provide 500 days of lifesaving medication to People Living with hiv. Bless up jimmy bless up to you, dj. Bless up. [ cheers and applause ] i was just going to say that. Well, that was a fun surprise, wasnt it . It was fun, but it s surprising. Jimmy yeah. Okay, okay. Is everyone ready for more killer products . Jimmy i know i am [ cheers and applause ] our next set of products were created by a partnership between gap, red, and six female artists. Six female artists . Thats more than five jimmy youre so right, Julia Roberts. These amazing pieces of outerwear will make even the ugliest people appear to be presentable. Look at our video wall. See . Although still kinda disgusting to be honest. Jimmy yeah, yeah. Hideous. Jimmy maybe hed look better like this. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy much better. So much better jimmy. I was about to throw up jimmy wow. Now buckle your seat belts everyone were about to cruise into more fantastic products. You guys are going to go gaga for these next items around the wrist is the beautiful lokai bracelet. The white bead carries water from mt. Everest, the black bead contains mud from the dead sea. Jimmy that bracelet is quite the jetsetter and on the fingernails is an elegant Deborah Lippmann limitededition full coverage crisp cranberry cr . Me cranberry kiss nail polish. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy it really is a lovely shade. Why its Brandon Flowers of the killers [ cheers and applause ] Brandon Flowers is killing it thank you. Now go away, brandon. Are you ready for our next product . jimmy i sure am im not okay, now i am. Its the lovely, elegant pour les femmes pajamas. And here to model them for us, the fabulous mr. Channing tatum. [ cheers and applause ] awww. Look at that. Lets not wake the little guy. Jimmy pour les femmes is a socially conscious Sleepwear Company created by actress and activist robin wright and her friend, designer karen fowler. Theyre cute, comfy, and a portion of the Purchase Price goes to reds fight against aids. Jimmy that is such a good cause. Im against aids. Thank you to my hoe coasts when we come back our starstudded red show continues with a duet from bono and halsey with herbie hancock, so stick around [ cheers and applause ] . . . . . How else do you think he gets around so fast . Take the reins this holiday and get the mercedesbenz youve always wanted during the winter event. Now lease the 2017 gle350 for 579 a month inside the rack houses of jim beam, every barrel is aged four long years, bill assumed it was a costume party. Bill assumed his mayo was the best choice. Assume nothing. Unlike hellmanns, kraft real mayo spreads on smoother and still has no artificial flavors. No wonder the holidays taste so good. Just press clean and let roomba from irobot help with your everyday messes. Roomba navigates your entire home. Cleaning up pet hair and debris for up to 2 hours. Which means your floors are always clean. Better. Together. Question, are my teeth yellow . Have you tried the tissue test . Ugh yellow. What do you use . Crest whitestrps. Crest 3d whitestrips whiten 25 times better than a leading whitening toothpaste i passed the tissue test. Oh yeah. Crest whitestrips are the way to whiten. I had frequent heartburn, but. My doctor recommended prilosec otc 7 years ago, 5 years ago, last week. Just 1 pill each morning. 24 hours and zero heartburn, its been the number 1 doctor recommended brand for 10 straight years, and its still recommended today. Use as directed by refinancing her mortgage, Jennifer Martinez was able to put extra money back into her homebased business. Helping her do what she was destined to do. Like a boss. Buy in. Jimmy welcome back. Its me, kristen bell, and have its the nph deck of cards. What does . Nph . Stand for, you ask . Well, it stands for . Nothing personal, homey. . [ laughter ] actually, ms. Bell, it stands for neil patrick harris. [ cheers and applause ] my bad, my bad, im sorry, nph. My mistake. But nothing personal, homie. Ha ha ha you want to see a magic trick . Yeah, of course i want to see one. [ cheers and applause ] i have my own deck. You can buy your own. I had these decks made. And theyre beautiful. Proceeds go to red. [ cheers and applause ] theyre beautiful. Instead of doing a card trick where you pick a card, i will just choose a card that will represent you. To make it even more personal, i want you to sign the card in the center. Okay, my own name . Yeah, put it in the center there. Okay. Take that space up. Left hand . Right hand. Take this. In your hand this way. Hold on to it, hold on to that end. Im so scared. Im make sure they can see it. I want to bend the car a lot. Okay. Im going to bending the card. A little bit of a rip. Here at the top. Youre really destroying this is not the pack were going to give you if you purchase the pack. Well give you a new one. Way to the the end. You take the rest of that piece and rip it down. So it comes off. Hold on to that. Watch this. Hes eating it. Is that the trick . No. No. No. Okay . [ cheers and applause ] no, wait. Essentially nothings happened. Right. You took a card, you signed thats what i saw. Watch close. [ cheers and applause ] its still attached. You can pull on it. It is attached [ cheers and applause ] well, that was nph amazing. What . Neil, while youre here, please tell us about your i think this whole thing is fantas fantastic. Reds involved, im working with coke. If you do ours you can win a trip, well fly you to new york city, put you up in a hotel, go to dinner, you and your friend with me and my husband, and well go see a broadway show. [ cheers and applause ] thats amazing. Omazing that is omazing indeed. Jimmy thank you so much, kristen and neil patrick, he is not necessarily in a good way. So tonight to nail that to the wall we took an old cole porter song and reworked it for 2016. And here to perform it, please welcome bono, halsey, and on piano mr. Herbie hancock . Lets recall 2016 and all the . I dont know where to start i just cant even . . What a swell year this has been . . Look at that filter . . The rodent less traveled . Isnt social media divine . . Heart emoji . News . . Beyonce smashed that windshield in . . If you liked it you should have put a ding on it . . Do you remember pokemon . . Was big for a month but now its gone . . Its rough never put a scribble or a jiggly post . . What a swell year it has been . . And have you heard about jon snow . . Hes still dragon show . . And have you seen that hamilton . . Tough ticket heard even bono cant get in . . I tried . . Me too . . What a swell year this has been . . This year this year so weird . . So weird like kimmel with a beard . . Not to fear we have it sorted . . Or maybe well just get deported . . The worst year ever what a swell year this has swell year this has . . Truly messed up royally fd up year this has been . . It really did suck . [ cheers and applause ] jimmy wow. Bono, halsey and herbie. And heres to 2017 well be back with Julia Roberts, kristen bell, and a lot more stars. [ cheers and applause ] . For just thirty cents a day, revent passing hiv to their children. Bank of america has joined forces with red in a seven year, twenty Million Dollar commitment to the fight against aids. Thats enough to provide more than sixty six million days of lifesaving medication. Together, we can get one step closer to ending aids. Find out how you can get involved at bankofamerica. Com red look how big my hands are. Yeah. Ooh. Rawr. How much am i making for this again . Hundred k. Win or lose. Total cake walk. Ooh oooooooh her last opponent is still in a coma. What . I should go walk my cats. No. No no no. Amy, get in there and fight for your life. Isnt there an easier way to make a hundred k . Sure. Old navys giving away a hundred k h with me, girl. Im going to old navy. Ahh its 50 off wednesday through friday welcome back to our red shop a thon. The next group of products is created to celebrate the artisan work of the mymyew community. And we have a very special model with us to show you the goods. Now guillermo, where are these fantastic products youre wearing from . Guillermo ubuntu. What was that . Guillermo one more time . Guillermo ubuntu. Close enough. Can you take us through each product . Sure. This is the ubuntu tote, this is the ubuntu shopper, this is the ubuntu massai travel pouch, the ubuntu bracelet and the ubuntu journal. Well, i sure hope people at home could understand anything that you said because i sure couldnt. Guillermo neither could i fantastic. Back to you, jimmy. Jimmy lets check in with the man who put this all together has 22 grammys, more than 170 million records sold and one name. His band is called u2. Please welcome bono, everyone [ cheers and applause ] jimmy have a seat, bono. Yes. Jimmy bono. [ cheers and applause ] great to have you here. I know you dont like to get too heavy about this stuff. Just tell us about some of the work that red does and is doing. Well, you know, actually, lets get heavy. Jimmy okay. Its just so its just great news. And it is weighty but its great news. And this is a time of year where i think americans would like to feel that theyve accomplished something together. People on the left, people on the right, working together, have 17 Million People on these aids drugs that are keeping them alive. America is the largest part of that. 17 Million People are alive right and left of the aisle. You dont think these things are possible in washington but we can actually work together. Jimmy your goal is to eliminate aids altogether. Thats right. Jimmy you feel like you will reach that goal. As long as we dont lose concentration. Which is why your show, your team, your band, this is the best opportunity red has ever had to keep the heat on this issue. If we keep the heat on the issue, then the politicians will keep concentrated and well keep getting the drugs them drugs. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy something that anybody would be very happy to be a part of if it was put in front of them. Thats what you, do put it in front of people, let them know what is going on in other parts of the world. That said, what has happened . What have you achieved since the last time you were here last year . I can walk. Jimmy thats right, you got hurt on a bicycle accident. That is an achievement. Well, on the show last time, cycle ride in central park. Sounded inknock wuls innocuous. But im not a person you would want to cycle with. That was brave and i met these two beautiful people, rob and anna, think was their name. Jimmy they got to ride went around the park, had lunch together, it was pretty cool. Jimmy this year you brought the whole band in on this deal. You are doing a private show for one person . Two people . How many people come to this thing . Its its hard the to get the u2 group to agree on anything. But edge, adam, larry and myself have agreed to play a private show for one person and a guest. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy so people go to omaze. Com red. Its 10. Its not one of those deals where you have to be rich. 10. And then you enter and you can pot

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