>> i that's what she emboied rk and i'm going to carry that with me. d rk and i'm going to carry that with me >> no, it can't be, it can't be. he was so big in my life, the thought that anything bad could have happened to him, it didn't make sense to me. >> glamorous, good looking, golden, the dashing hollywood movie executive. >> he was more like a movie star in real life. >> just so charismatic. >> perfect southern california family. >> he completely dropped off the face of the earth.