i that s what she emboied rk and i m going to carry that with me. d rk and i m going to carry that with me no, it can t be, it can t be. he was so big in my life, the thought that anything bad could have happened to him, it didn t make sense to me. glamorous, good looking, golden, the dashing hollywood movie executive. he was more like a movie star in real life. just so charismatic. perfect southern california family. he completely dropped off the face of the earth.