Gettin easier you know, the past few weeks to get in here, since we put the free sign out there that says free eats. [ laughter ] not the free sign the sign that says free eats. [ laughter ] or the free sign that says eats. We dont care. Uh, i have been conducting my own poll, the past week, on the state of the economy, just to see how people are affected. Uh, first of all, how many people in the audience tonight are over 50 . Dont be embarrassed. Just okay. How many of you over 50 now have your own paper route . [ laughter ] that gives us an idea of how things are going. We, uh we had a strange group, last night. We got a weve taken the spill over, from, uh, lets make a deal. [ laughter ] um, came out its not easy to come out and do jokes to 500 people dressed as meat loaves. [ laughter ] or a large carrot, sitting in the third row, uh. How many of you are from new york . Anybody here from new york . [ applause ] [ cheering ] ah. Thatthatthats the crowd, right there. [ laughter ] you know what youre missing, six to 10 inches of snow, in metropolitan new york. Can you see it, back there . A long time. I understand its so deep, back there, theres a theres an alert out how deep . Well, i ii was almost into it. No, theres a all right, theres a reward out, for mayor beame. [ laughter ] thats deep [ applause ] back there so heavy, they had to throw hot water on the street walkers to separate them from the lamp posts. [ laughter ] it is, uh, cold and heavy, back there. Spa [ chuckling ] women always laugh at it. Nah, the guys the guys go, what is that . The women laugh. Uh. [ laughter ] speaking of new york city, president ford is currently in new york city. Hes making a speech, down in the, uh wall street. Hes gonna talk to all of the financial brains of the United States. That should be interesting. Hes gonna talk to wall street. You know, the important thing is, will e. F. Hutton listen . All right, its not an important question. [ laughter ] and then, he is going to attend a dinner, tonight, in new york. Who do you think its in honor of . Vice president rockefeller. Word is hes going to attend that dinner. Hes being honored for his greatest achievement picking out a smart grandfather. [ laughter ] rockefellers being awarded. [ laughter ] oh, thats that explains it. That explains it. Sometimes i leave, uh, a key phrase out of the joke. Thats for make it interestinginteresting to you folks to fill in the magic phrase that make that joke [ laughter ] its kind of a selectyourownjoke type of thing. Ill throw out the ingredients, you put em together, and you say, hey, i just made up a joke. [ laughter ] well, i dont have to give all the words, you know . Sometimes the words but, i you know the economys in bad sha you know why theyre traveling together . Ford and rockefeller . Why . They can split the, uh, cab, comin in from the airport. [ laughter ] thats what they can do. [ laughter ] was there anything left outta that joke . What . [ laughter ] was there anything left [ laughter ] unfortunately, that was all there. [ laughter ] no, but you know the economys in bad shape when the, uh, president walks in, and the marine band strikes up brother, can you spare a dime. [ laughter ] thats thats a little sad. And, last night, uh he attended another dinner, last night. He was busy, yesterday. Uh, he attended a dinner so, probably saw it in the news in honor of bob hope. And he gave bob hope and the president is doin jokes, now. He did a joke, last night. Did you see that . He did a butt joke. The president of the United States is stealing, already, from us. [ laughter ] uh, but he presented bob hope. The uh, award is the comedian of the century. And bob deserved it. He has entertained a lot of our armed forces. Right now, bob is headed overseas, to entertain our mercenaries in the oil fields. [ laughter ] [ applause ] uh. You know whos getting married . Read this in the paper, today . John boy. The of the waltons was in the paper, today is getting married. Isnt that sweet . Naive about sex. He, uh understand he went down to the general store, today, and bought a connectthedots sex manual. [ laughter ] uh. Called the joy of tracing. [ laughter ] uh. No, but i understand i understand grandpa walton sat john boy down, and told him all about the birds and the bees, and, uh, john boy went out, that night, in his pickup, to try to get an easy blue jay. [ laughter ] uh. One of those things that happens. [ applause ] woo ho [ cheering ] speaking of birds you dont get a segue like this, very often, but thisthis is happening up near san francisco. And apparently, it happens every year, at this time. The birds, uh i dont know exactly what area it is around oakland, or something the, uh the berries on the trees thats true. Was in the paper, today. They and the birds pick up the berries, and theyre getting drunk. Up there. Thats gotta be a sight. You ever seen a robin with his wing around a worm, singing melancholy baby . [ laughter ] and theytheythey spotted a flock of geese, today, flying over sausalito, spelling out obscene words in their flight. [ laughter ] uh. The police think they have the solution. Theyre filling all the, uh, bird baths with co black coffee. Or any kinda coffee, or [ laughter ] just coffee. Jujust coffee. Black coffee, red coffee doesnt make any difference. We, uh we have a great show, for you, tonight. Later on, Eliot Janeway and h r block are coming out, to explain why theyre working. [ laughter ] but, uh, crazy mel brooks, the mad genius, is here, tonight, who brought you, uh, Blazing Saddles and Young Frankenstein. [ cheering ] mel is backstage, now, growing tall, uh, before he comes out. We have a lovely young actress Susan Blakely, who was in the towering inferno, and, uh, in a Motion Picture called report to the commissioner. Holly lipton is here, and bob rosefsky, who has a book on fraud, swindles, and rackets and stuff like that. Am i leaving anything out . Thats it. Thats plenty. Well be right back with you. [ music ] [ applause ] [ cheering ] [ applause ] [ applause ] we have returned. We have, with us, tonight, mel brooks. We have bob rosefsky. We have Susan Blakely and holly lipton. Yeah. Whatwhatwhat do you have, lying here . Is this your grocery list or something . No, no, no. I just have the list of the schools that are competing, tomorrow, in the third annual 72hour great canoe race. Im the official starter. Usc, the trojans youre the offic defending champs. [ applause ] comcompetition is from ucla, san diego state, [ applause ] and cal state, in long beach. What is the great canoe race . They its the bush gardens theyre on the lakes of bush gardens. They go for 72 hours. They have relay teams, and theyre going after the verycoveted piddling paddle award. [ laughter ] are you going to be there as the official starter . I will be there. Im the official starter, tomorrow. No, uh in these troubled times, its nice to know that a group of young people are going after a piddling paddle. Do they get to throw you in the, uh in the lake, if they win, or Something Like i dont think theres any need to suggest that. All right. Here is an article from, uh, Glamour Magazine. Yes. You know you have rights, as a shopper . According to Glamour Magazine. If you go to a store and guy something, you have, according to glamour, certain rights, as a customer. I didnt know that. Well, thats what they said, here. Uh, for example, dont be afraid to complain about reduced merchandize, it says. May be tiredlooking, but its supposed to wear well and not be damaged, and so forth and so on. Some stores will pay the difference, if you buy something from them, then find the competitor charges less. Did you know that . No. If you go to a store and buy something, you go back to the store and say, i saw it over at soandso, usually they will give you should do that. Mmmhmm. For returns, expect cash, if you paid cash, and have a receipt. Credit if you lost the receipt, or purchase. Were you aware of that . Thats your right. As to advertisements, if a garment is mistakenly advertised at the wrong price, and its not a gross misprint like 1. 98 for a 198 coat, you may be able to demand the price, if you refer to the ad. If something is 27. 50, i suppose, and its supposed to be carry the ad with you. Carry it with you. Right. And they go through a whole long list, here. Thats in Glamour Magazine . Thats in Glamour Magazine. I love that. I love your rights as a shopper. You know, when glamour theyre not strictly legal, but they are rights that you should have when glamour reduced its size you remember it was a larger magazine. Yes, it was. Came down to a smaller size what was nice about it it didnt reduce the amount of information youd get in a given story. [ laughter ] i like that. I mean, even though its kind of a condensed version, everything youd wanna hear about that particular subject is in that particular article. Thats wrong, wombatbreath. [ laughter ] theres more . I tell ya. Thats those are good. [ laughter ] those are good. Those were your rights, during normal times. Right. But, as you know, we are in a recession, now. Thats right. Or extra rights, during recession . Well, you got new rights. Oh. And here how many pages do we have . Youll find out. You do have the right to do comparison shoplifting. [ laughter ] thats right. If youre caught, you have the right to remain noisy. [ laughing ] well, thats a thats a right. Thats a right. If a supermarket clerk stamps a higher new price on any item in your basket, you have the right to stamp his face with your shopping cart. [ laughter ] you have the right to demand a refund, when your new underwear shrinks so bad, it causes your voice to shatter glass. [ laughter ] in a clothing store, if you see a sign that says we are not responsible for clothes left in this room, you have the right to get up an armful and go home. [ laughter ] saying, since youre not clothes, i am. [ laughter ] thats an inalienable new right. [ laughter ] how many pages are there . What . Well, its gonna be slimmed down, here. [ laughter ] in a supermarket, you have the right to return meat that still has fur on it. [ laughter ] ho normally, you should never shop for food while in a recession, you have the right to start out hungry, and then eat your way to the checkout stand. [ laughter ] the recession charlie. You have the right to say, hey cut that out if a tailor takes more than 40 minutes to chalk your inseams. [ laughter ] that is a right. [ laughter ] hey dont do that. [ applause ] youre starting to talk like mel brooks. I know it. Youll buy a used car, and the brakes give out on the freeway, the only right you have are the last rights, as you know. [ laughter ] and when youre through shopping and realize you have 1. 40 to your name, you have the right to go over to Eliot Janeways house and slap him around, for half an hour. [ laughter ] rights, and i dont know why [ applause ] [ laughter ] [ applause ] i think i was right, when i said that Glamour Magazine, uh we just dump everything off the Glamour Magazine did cover everything, in that article. It did cover it better than i thought. [ laughter] but we gave it a shot. We have, with us, tonight, uh mel brooks will come out here, in a moment, and try to explain what were doing, out here. And, uh yeah, hes been on the cover of everything, lately. He was in newsweek magazine, time magazine. He has a whole interview in playboy magazine. And he is here, tonight, along with Susan Blakely and holly lipton and bob rosefsky. And well return, in just a moment. [ applause ] [ applause ] [ cheering ] hello, there [ applause ] im getting my mel brooks props ready, here. Am i right in recalling very first show that you did . October 1, 1962. Joan crawford, mel brooks rudy vallee and groucho marx. Groucho marx. And, you cannot pick up a magazine, today, without seeing the wonderful profile [ chuckling ] of, uh [ laughter ] of my next guest, whom ive known, uh itll be a week, thursday. Yeah. He looks he looks best as an indian. What . He makes the bestlooking indian. A fine indian. And, uh, newsweek, and, uh newsweek said, as a cover story it says, the mad, mad world of mel brooks, and about his latest film, Young Frankenstein. They said it was, uh, nuttier and funnier and more inspired than anything else done in movies today. Would you welcome, please, the adorable mel brooks . [ applause ] [ music ] [ music ] [ applause ] come backstage change. Do you remember . Brandon de wilde. Brandon de wilde, right . Ran over the hills after alan ladd. Alan ladd, saying meat with fur on it. [ laughter ] meat with fur on it. The monologue. [ laughter ] [ applause ] that would appeal to your that would appeal to your disturbed and distorted mind, right . The guts. You have such guts. [ laughter ] guts. Your suits. [ laughter ] you just everything you wear is so crazy. You know. Everything. Everything. Well, whats wrong with it . Your nose. Nothing is good, you know . [ laughter ] you know hes about 23 . He makes up his hair all gray, to look old. [ laughter ] so he can look like a person, you know . [ laughter ] hes a silly kid. Hes just really a silly kid. I really love ya. I really love ya. Well, you know, you keep sa i mean, i really love ya. Oh, really . Really, theres a and then ill fall in love with that. You know what i mean . Im pretty tough, myself. [ laughter ] every once in a while, a beauty comes along. [ laughter ] it just clicks. Say, hey, thats for me. Ya fall. What can you do . If you fall, you fall. How are you, mad genius . Thats what they call you. Know, the last time i wore this suit [ laughter ] i never wear a suit, but i dont like people coming out with jewish stars and cro and everything. You know what i mean . They sit with chains here, you know . Its too much. And i hate 50yearolds who desert their generation, know what i mean . Right. Artie shaw, whos artie shaw . You know what i mean . Yeah. They forget. Sure. You talk to people. Thethey you know, im 48. Im gonna be 49. Am i older than you are . Yes. [ sneezing ] excuse me. [ laughter ] no, i dont i was born on june 28th, in 1926. Oh. When were you born . Why, is this a you are you holding a party . No, im just [ laughter ] when were you born . Id come, you know that. Yes. You dont call me. I will. I will. Every time i see you. Ill run into you, maybe what . Once every three or four months. Yeah. And i see you and annie walkin around the street. We dont go out. No, but seriously, wewe never go out. Wewere like homebodies, you know what i mean . So we hardly go but if we did go out, youre the first person wed go out with. Okay. [ laughter ] but october 23rd. You were bo october what year . 1925. October 23rd, 1925. Big 50, this year. Youre aa gemini. [ chuckling ] [ laughter ] i even give you the date, and you didnt know. Yeah, october twen most people tell ya, without even askin the date. You are youre a presbyterian. Whatwhat is that . [ laughter ] yes. Im a, uh im a scorpio. Im on the cusp. Youre a scorpio. Cusp. One o them. Ah scorpio. [ laughter ] thats right. Yaha. Cmere, little girl. Yes. [ laughter ] thats what they always say about scorpios sexually maladjusted and, you know you know cool whip and a spatula. [ laughter ] get it. Cool whip and a spat thats not you. Thats not your image i know thats not. Youre a nice person. Thats right. Except once, in the parking lot i told em i told em, you know ,what you said about my suit, before i came out here. I look like jiminy cricket. [ singing ] dont do that, pinocch [ laughter ] what is this . The National Academy of Television Arts and sciences. This i went to dinah shores bar mitzvah [ laughter ] at the na at the at the emmys right. And thats the last i wore still in the suit . And Burt Reynolds made a wonderful speech. Mmmhmm. He loves her. He kisses her. He has half a mustache. He had smallpox when he was three. And only half of him can grow a mustache. So he grows this half, cause it grows normal, nice, regular, beautiful. This half they make one to you know, they pow oh, come on. Yeah, righ i swear is this the hollywood scoop . Nah, i made it up. [ laughter ] im buying it. Im sitting here, like, oh, really . I didnt know that. Only two guys id go out with is you and him. [ laughter ] well, as long as burts in there. Can i have a sip of this . Yes, please. Little coffee that ed has, over there. [ laughter ] the king lives [ laughter ] are you crazy . On the air . [ laughter ] are you mature . I want im tellin you, ladies and jews, this plenty you need plenty water, after that. Plenty water. Yeah, i saw your, uh saw your, uh, Young Frankenstein. You were the one no, come on. [ laughter ] youre makin a fortune what are you talkin about . Its doing its doing. People are cued up all over the country, coming to that. Its a mad, crazy, nutty, funny take o i dont know whether you call it a take off or a parody, because you follow the old, uh, frankenstein pictures, the story. There was there was its a horror movie, too. There was a director, many years ago, by the name of james whale, who made all those wonderful frankenstein picture he made frankenstein, the bride of frankenstein, the son of frankenstein, the house of frankenstein, frankensteins friend murray. [ laughter ] he made all those. Andand they were beautiful. Yes. And he the moves and the look and the halos behind the ladies and the fear and it wasnt like the yeah. The hammer films, you know, that with the little gory, with the blood, you know. Andand so, frankenstein was to be a salute to james whale, as well as right. Having fun with Mary Shelleys masterpiece. And you had the original frankenstein equipment. Right . When you were, uh yes we had kenneth strickfaden. Found him in santa monica, in an alley nng bluh nng [ laughter ] still things doing things to himself. [ laughter ] and they put him in a van [ laughter ] you cant take him in an open car. Lets face it. Know what i mean . Little curtains on it. [ spitting ] and we brought him and he made up all the you know, the electrical its a funny picture. Oh, thank you. Why didnt you appear in that one . Now, you were in Blazing Saddles. Too short. Too short for that. [ laughter ] too short for its for tall people. Monsters. Big. Big, tall, nice people. [ chuckling ] zippers. Would you like to be taller . I would like to be taller, but i dont wanna go through the expense of it, you know what i mean . [ laughter ] [ applause ] itd be too much to worry. [ laughter ] and the period you have to stay home alone. Yes, right, you have to stay home for six months thats right. Theres agony for the first week, you know. [ laughter ] the first the first week of the you know. Thats hardly worth it. Yeah. Hardly worth it. And then, they if they dont set your ankles back, again, right [ laughter ] all right . [ laughter ] the rest of your life. Nng nng. [ laughter ] uh, you know, ii found out, at the picture, theres some, uh actually youyou shouldnt tell some of the things thatthat happen in the picture, because it tips it, right . No, we well, i dont think we should talk too much about frankenstein. Lemme say one thing about Young Frankenstein, and that is gene wilder. He was, uh hes funny man. Gene wilder. [ applause ] he is hi gorgeous, isnt that what he said . We were in a lot of tro and you know this, for a fact. We were in a lot of trouble, when we did Blazing Saddles. We had two men, ready to play the waco kid, that mr. Wilder uh, gene wilder eventually played. Remember . With, i shoot with that hand. Mmmhmm. He was wonderful, as the waco kid. He shot their guns outta their hands, and hehe was compelling and touching and funny. And he did it for me, one night you know, we were you said, oh, no, i dont i dont do movies. Im no good. You know. member that conversation . Oh, you did call me. You called me about that picture. No, but i really love i love you, and i would love to do a movie with you. You know that. I wanna be a member of your stock company, now now that youre a hit. Yes, but they [ laughter ] see, now that youre really rolling. They get 1. 75 a week. 1. 75 . Thats why theyre always there, you know. Theyre dummies. I dont smart people. [ laughter ] but, anyway, gene wilder, uh, asked me about Young Frankenstein. He had an idea to do Young Frankenstein, uh, and i said, well talk about it later. But i really owed him a big favor, and i began doing it as a favor. But, the writing and the comedy and the fu we put it all and it got very good. It began to get really, really good. And, as we began shooting it, it got funnier and funni i could not believe that it would turn out cause, like its jewish anxiety and guilt. I mean, how could you have such a good time and s why am i turning to you, for jewish anxiety and guilt . [ laughter ] jewish anxiety. Anywa andand it was it was wonderful. We were having a very good time. Would be a failure, because we were just enjoying ourselves. Are you more secure now . But it was gene. It was gene. Yeah. Are you more secure now . I am. Im very s i are you kidding . I get 200 a week from you. [ laughter ] are you telling us to break . Well come back to is that is that what the piano is saying . Is that what its saying . Yes. Why did you wear a tie, skitch . Look at all these people out here. [ laughter ] youyoure really wonderful. With the rice. What do they pay you for that . Badada dada [ laughter ] i see that. Were gonna come right back. I love that. I love that guy. Hes a little gay, but, well, who cares [ laughter ] who cares, hes a wonderful person. Hes a nice hes a good hes a church member, thats the most important. [ laughter ] thats who cares if he goes to those bars . Who cares [ laughter ] not our business. That tall one you went home with, the other night thats scary. [ laughter ] the one with the little hair. [ laughter ] or the one with the blue hair. You know the one. [ laughter ] doc, please, i mean, you have a family. Have a little gogo in a closed car, what are ya [ laughter ] you know, through the through the sliding roof oh, oh the sun roof. Oh, thats terrible. We have to break away, here, for a second all right. [ applause ] [ music ] [ applause ] we are back. Were talking with mel brooks. Director, writer, producer, author. Whatever. Yes. We were talkin about, uh, gene wilder. Yes. I have a little film clip that i brought. Right. To show that wilder is the one that holds this together. Paramount epitome of acting. He is a very good serious actor the catalyst. Yes. The catholic did you say catalyst . [ laughter ] whatever. Shut up, when im talking. [ laughter ] oh, youre rolling, there. Real nice. I want you to see, in this film clip, that we were all ready to break up and laugh, or were biting our knuckles everybody onon screen and wilderwilder is the one you can hang you can lean on a rock. Show, please. Show gene wilder in action. Watch the monitor. This is the rock. Doctor zere is that strange music again. It seems to have stopped the big fellow, in his tracks. That music. That quaint [ laughter ] its terrible, the price society demands, in the name of fidelity, isnt it . I mean, what is fidelity, after all . Not fooling around . [ laughter ] is that it . Why, look. You havent even touched your food there now ive [ laughter ] still smoldering. Let me smell your breath. [ exhaling ] [ laughter ] ah god [ laughter ] follow me, please. [ laughter ] now, listen to me very carefully. [ chuckling ] [ laughter ] all right. Oh, does that include the key you mean the laboratory. Mmm [ laughter ] oh, gene, dont laugh its so uh, igor, would you give me a hand, with these bags . Certainly. You take the blonde, and ill take the one in the train. [ laughter ] [ applause ] [ growling ] ugh stop that master. [ laughter ] may i go in . [ laughter ] [ laughter ] [ applause ] [ cheering ] a rock. Man is a rock. [ laughter ] man is really a rock. He is hes the greatest sucker for comedy. I mean, he cant see Marty Feldman go in . Yes, marty went. Marty [ chuckling ] we all laugh. Oneone day, when we were doing, uh inin the producers, kenny mars was doin the crazy german, with the pigeon doody on his helmet. Right. And, uh, he was he was making a speech, and i was behind the camera, eating a handkerchief, and there was the cameraman and the director of photography, and we all fell over ,with the camera, at the same time. [ laughter ] a lot of people we just went. We just and i cleared everybody away. You know, i cl i cleared the enti i said, everybody out if you this is professional no laughing let the audience laugh, for gods sake well watch it go ahead, kenny. [ farting noise ] [ laughter ] on the deck. Down. Why did you make this why did you make this in black and white . The crayons. We lost all the crayons in [ laughter ] we had such a big set. [ laughter ] no, we black and white, yeah. We didnt wanna make one of those i see. Dopey new ones. Think this is the second picture third picture, i guess, you direct. Fourth. Fourth. Excuse me. Blazing saddles, and frankenstein Young Frankenstein. Of course. [ applause ] thank you. Thanks, mom. Whats the hardest thing about makin a film . The holes. What . The holes. The holes . The holes in the side of the of the of the celluloid. Every day, a hole, a hole, a hole [ laughter ] its a million its a million its a billion the actings nothing, the writing is nothing, the making those little holes. But, every night pop pop pop [ laughter ] [ applause ] then theyre all over, and you dont know what to do. Over. And then ya and then theyre in your food, your potatoes. [ laughter ] you started out in the mountains, didnt ya . Yes filling in, for the comic who got sick one night, and you went out and didnt have an act. Good evening, ladies and germs. I just moved out to chicago, and boy, are my arms tired. That kinda stuff. I met a girl in chicago. She was so skinny, the waiter said, check your umbrella. [ rimshot ] [ laughter ] that kinda stuff. But one night one night, i really wanted to turn the jews around. Right. So i did everything, but no punch line. Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. I just flew in from chicago. It was a little nauseous. They looked they looked all right. I met a girl in chicago. She was so skinny, i was worried. [ laughter ] a little worried about her. Went to a doctor, doctor shes all right. [ laughter ] i got a room in chicago. The room was so small, i called up, i said, change the room. [ laughter ] i mean, i did every single joke known to man, but no punch, just straight. Just this is a bad room. I dont like the room. They changed it. And they looked they said, theres a some where here. [ laughter ] then, i did then, i did you know, in the mountains, everybody was over like, over 60. They didnt they didnt get things right away. Right away, they didnt. Like, id say, ladies and gentlemen, man of 1000 faces. [ laughter ] they waited they waited, for 1000 faces [ laughter ] all right. After five they wanted to see a thousand faces. But how much no, ii i was up i swear i was up to about 30. [ laughter ] i mean, how many faces can ya i said, when are they gonna laugh . Oh. [ laughter ] i mean, i dont i dont know. Then you went with sid caesar, the old show of shows, with, uh, that mad, crazy group. He was the best. I woulda been a comic, 10 years earlier, but he yeah. For my passion. He could do anything. He mimicked people. I mean, he didnt do bogard, he didnt do cagni. He just did people recognizable types. He really was incredibly talented. He did everything phonetically. Sids been on the show. You know, he did great phonetic german french, uh, spanish, japanese whatever. Hes great. Hes rea hes really and hes still great. And the problem with television is that it eats you up, like little link sausages, every week, so right. Its difficult to stay alive, when youre highpowered. If youre a lowkey comic right. You can stay alive a li a little longer, you know. But sid was too much. Sid was also the strongest human being. Physically. Physically. Thethe golden boy. He didnt like a joke, he lifted the metal desk and the tarp, i dont like it, he said, okay. Okay. [ laughter ] no. No. Dont have to be in. It dont have to be in. [ laughter ] you feel it. Very early on, when we did the show of shows, we went to chicago, uh, and i was riding with sid. We played the palmer house the empire of the palm house. And sid rented a car, and we were driving in the car cab cut us off. Cab driver said things you cannot say on television. Sid said, moment moment, sir moment. Got outta the car, went to the cab driver cab driver wearing a yellow hat and a Little Leather bow tie. Hes and the and the cab driver is looking through this little clipper window remember those . They had little clip and he says, to sid, more invectives, more, you du youyou know very bad cursing. And sid just said to him, do you remember birth . Do you remember birth . Birth. He says, what . Do you remember being born . Do you remember birth your birth . He said, no what he said, were gonna reenact it. [ laughter ] by the leather bow tie, and began pulling him. [ laugher ] [ applause ] [ laughter ] pulled him through the little window. And iii promise you, sid coulda got him through, but i bit his hand. [ laughter ] somewhere, theres a very long cab driver, back in chicago, to this day. Yes, a very long, skinny cab driver. He is very, very yes, i remember. In the beginning, i was the hired only by sid. Right. [ coughing ] i wasnt a human person, yet. Before, i was the one to run out and got sid coffee. Light coffee . But he didnt think so, the only things i could do were the llittlittle things, like, uh, they let me write the german professor. Oh, well, thats good. Yeah. Andand so, i wrote that, for a while. And sid was terrific, at the german professor. He was on everything. We he and he could adlib, i mean, you could write with sid on that. He was so great. We did one on sleep. Ugh. On tha he was i cant do that ill just do a little of it. He did said, uh, uh, howhow does what is sleep . How d you can put the body to sleep. You cannot altogether put the body to sleep altogether would be it got gonna get scared and get up. [ laughter ] youyou gotta put the body to sleep, in little sections, that one section should and all the others gonna sleep. First, you start with the toes. The toes, they drop off. Then, you stay with the knees. They put a knee cap then, you say to the belly, dont burble and burble so much. [ laughter ] then you say to the heart, just a nap. Dont nod all the way. Just a nap. [ laughter ] nap and then, the hardest part is the brain. To put the brain the brain dont wanna go to sleep. dont worry. Theres other pebbles on the beach. Youll find them. [ laughter ] so youll get another job. Dont complain, youre [ laughter ] come on. [ singing ] rockabye brain in the skull all right everybody up. See . You woke everybody up [ laughter ] [ applause ] yeah. I am i am insulting it, because he really i mean, sid was a genius. No, you do it. I wanna come back, and talk about your meeting with general sarnoff, cause that was a strange i cant talk about that on television. Well, you can maybe work around it. No, we ca nothing. I see. We wont talk about it. Okay. Well go to s okay. Go to somethin else. Ah, were not gonna go to something else, either. [ laughter ] what if you got a nut like that on the show . No, were not gonna talk about anything. Were just gonna be here. [ laughter ] what do you mean, were just gonna be were just gonna be here, and theyll be here, and the cameras, and well just be here. Sometimes you get but were not gonna talk. We dont have to talk. Theyll know, and well know. [ laughter ] once in a while, you get that. You can say to a guy some actors say i understand an amusing thing happened to you in chicago. I dont remember. I dont recall that one. Look he looks to fred. Hes why did you book him . Why did you bring him . [ laughter ] why is he here . Get the hook and we well be back. Were comin right back. [ applause ] the king lives i really want to show you something. Karen o. 1, 2, ready, go love its a mystery all is love is love ow [howling] announcer for great play ideas, visit www. Smallstep. Gov. [ music ] [ applause ] i guess we cant talk about the late general sarnoff. Sure. You wanna hear that story . [ laughter ] sure. I dont i im very general sarnoff these people dont know, but he was the father of robert sarnoff, whos the hes now deceased, but he was the grand man who formed the whole Radio Corporation of america. Yes. And i think he, together with lee de forest, invented, you know, thethe yeah. They were responsible for everything happening. He was a giant of a man. I mean, he really was. Andand, when i was a little kid, working on the show of shows, the general himself, general sarnoff and pat weaver, who was then running the nbc network and max liebman, the producer of the show of shows terrific a private meeting, in sid caesars office. And i felt i just wanted to be i wanted to be part of the meeting. I wanted [ laughter ] i wanted you know how you want you want you know, there were all the big shots, and i just i said, look, i wont make noise. I just ill sit in the corner. I wont you cant be its a meeting with big sh youre nothing youre dirt. Get out [ laughter ] i said, please so, they wouldnt let me in. I ra i went nuts. I ran around. I look i saw a derby, a straw member those straw boaters . Had wonderful with had a little wire on it. Big straw and i s and a and a white duster. You know a duster . Yeah. From one of the sketches. Carl ronnie used to wear a white duster a lot. So i took the white duster he was that way. [ laughter ] i took the white duster and the straw boater, and i burst through into the its a had a big network meeting. I burst through, i jumped on the desk. I jumped up on the desk, and i said, lyndie london hes embarrassed he made it. [ laughter ] and i throw my hat out the window. And the general you know, pat weaver and theyre who is this crazy kid . What . Lynlyndie that was [ laughter ] what happened . Andand so, liebman said, mel, please. And i said, hes hes embarrassed. The spirit of st. Louis, down the borg. Landed. Lyndie. So they threw me out. They took all. They threw me out. [ laughter ] two years later, im walking in the top floor of the rca building, and general sarnoff was walking with another guy, with vests, andand then chains and everything. And theyre walking and talking. And he nods to me, i nod to him. We walk the end of the corridor, he turns i stop. I turn around. He turns around. I and i see him do lyndie london [ laughter ] he was in the he did the whole [ chuckling ] he was explaining me. Hes a grand old man. He never forgot, you know. How would you forget that . Yeah. Lyndie. Nice man like that, and you on the desk. Yeah, h well, what about the person in the street, when a straw hat came by . [ laughter ] know what i mean . Walking by. May i ask you what this is . This since is obviously just a piece of board. Yeah. Yeah. Its youre not just hocking a piece of board, are ya . Its a i know when youre successful you can sell anything, but a piece of board with a thing on it . No, its thats a record its a new concept. Theres no record in here. No, it you dont need you play you put this down, and you [ laughter ] it plays. Actually at any speed you choose, i suppose, yes. Im glad im glad youre plugging, cau this is coming out, this week. People are interested in whether [ chuckling ] am i holding it wrong . Yeah. People [ laughter ] what is this, all of a sudden . Wherewherere you going . Imim really crazy about it but, you know, i cant really communicate, you know. [ laughter ] hi, gorgeous. Is this is this a musical album fromfrom Young Frankenstein . The only thing i dont remember any music, in Young Frankenstein . Yes. Theres a lot theres a very little. Music, but theres a lot of funny dialogue, and thats the only point i want to make. Its music and dialogue. And dialogue. Its on abc records. So you get, really, two for the price of one. Its very good. I see. And then you get very excited to see the movie or to see murray the freak. Either one. Im not sure. Whatever does it to you. Hes in apartment 3a, in wilshire boulevard. Yeah. [ laughter ] howhow do you answer people who said now, youve gotten comments mel brookss humor is crass. Right . Yes. I go its vulgar. [ laughter ] its vulgar. I usually [ deleted ] [ laughter ] [ cheering ] [ applause ] well. I tell youve always been a master i deny i always deny. Youve been a master of innuendo, all your life. [ laughter ] you dont think hes clever, huh . [ laughter ] huh . Dont think thats genius, folks . Ill tell ya show ya genius. [ chuckling ] innuendo. Man knows what hes talkin about. I like subtle. I dont like any rightupfront, you know what i mean . I like to lay back and play it purple, you know what i mean . Thats right. Soft colors. Thats right. Theres nothing yellow and orange about me, ya know . [ spitting ] never. Right. Right to the point. The bean sequence in Blazing Saddles quiet. You know what i mean . [ laughter ] thats right. Its communication, on the prairie. You have to look at it intellectually. Cant look at things with your nose, you know what i mean . [ laughter ] how how do you figure out since youd agree to that. How do you know whats funny . You when you put something together. Youyou know, you could do a symposium on comedy, which usually turn out to be terribly dull. Well any time you try to explain why something is funny, its dull. Right . You want me to seriously . No. Oh, okay. Oh [ laughter ] those oughta be up, by april. [ laughter ] thats right. Serious though, i want to give a serious answer. Well, ill do id like a serious answer, tonight. [ laughter ] [ cheering ] [ applause ] mr. Brooks cleverly retorted. Yes. All right. You know comedy is funny when they laughin. When its quiet, and you see a Little Forest fire of cigarettes mmm [ mouth popping ] in the middle of a good comedy, ya know . Thats wrong. Lot people lighting up, ya know . You know something is wrong on the silver screen. Right, so and you have missed the comic target by a mile. So, when you hear laughter when you hear laughter, you go, ah funny. They got it. Right. They got the joke. Right. Well, that but ill tell ya, seriously, that the big private joke for me and the writers. Mmm. We did it with Richard Pryor and Norman Steinberg and alan uger and andrew bergman, and we thought, lets do one movie to please ourselves. I understand when you first showed it, though, to the executives, in a screening room, they sat there like mount rushmore. It was i tell you, i dont know why my heart is beating today. [ laughter ] i i mean, i all thethe blood left me, and went into my friend benji. [ laughter ] thats how scared i was. We played Blazing Saddles for the executives of warner brothers, who shall be nameless ted ashley, jack. [ laughter ] easy, easy. Easy. Eeasy, there. Easy, there. As a matter of fact, ii loved them both, and they both love you. Saved the picture, cause there were big fights. And they pushed it through. And but they watched you know, thesethese are clinicians. These are professional people. Theyre not laughing likelike jews for happiness. Right. You know what i mean . Theyre not or germans, for killing. Theyre just you theyre just enjoying theyre just enjoying their craft. Right. So, its not important for them to laugh. Theyre saying, will this make money . Should we release it . Should we put advertising ya know . Tomorrows tuesday. And this is Blazing Saddles. And theyre saying to cleavon little, how about a. Work song . Ya know . And he sings, i get no kick you know, and no lau no laugh. No laugh. The bean scene, on the nothing, and mmm. Interesting, interesting. Bent over a little too much. Mmm. And then and the and the whole the whole fight, when we pulled back and revealed the world, you know what. Go into the fire, the i saw Johnny Carson at the fox wilshire theater, sitting with a very strange no, it was your wife. It was my wife. Joanna. And, he left his seat, and went under two aisles , uh, when that monologue went to the fire. Really like it. Leaned over, to light the cigar , in the fire. In that screening, ii t there was no lau and it was i was just, you know, ice. So, it shows you its all right. No, i said to mike hertzberg, the producer, lets try a human being. So, that night, we got [ laughter ] 200200 secretaries came with their husbands and their girlfriends, their boyfriends, and they all packed in, together, to a room at warner brothers, and we played Blazing Saddles, and it was a chagall painting. They left their seats, they swam, they turned over sideways. They laughed, they were screamin. I said, ah oh wewe did not make a mistake. Wewe it is funny. You know what i mean . Right. But it was very scary, at the beginning. And then, little by little, you know, it turned ou turned out to be a very big when they play music, next time, hes finished. [ chuckling ] hes finished, cause he has to do that with pencils. We have to we have to leave. But were coming right back. Okay. [ applause ] [ music ] [ applause ] [ cheers ] [ applause ] when you were a kid thethe skinny ends are better. The fat ends, you save the sticks, you know what i mean . Right. You play the chance, you know . Were talking about drumming, cause you took lessons, when you were a kid, from buddy rich. You lived in in brighton beach. H oh, he the best. Buddy right . Buddy. Tops and taps. Tops and taps. And youre a very good drummer. Oh, no, i just fool around. You have time, you have tempo. No offense. [ laughter ] i found out, when i was very young i did. Yes. And no timing. But thats all right. [ laughter ] but i make up for it, because i have a my drum lights up bass drum, with a mount on it. The only thing you make up for is that you know mel lewis. Otherwise, forget about it. True. [ laughter ] yeah. Just for the band. Im still working in the mountains for the band, right . Sorry, folks. They give me no inside shtick, from now on. Just our stuff, you know what i mean . [ laughter ] you ever see you see carl, all the time, dont you . Carl reiner . Anybody have a green dodge . Wait. Uh. Carl i see carl you see all the guys from the old show . Howie morris . Howie mo ugh. How i miss him howie morris is directing some of the best commercials on television the mcdonald commercials. Does he do those . Thats howie morris, right. Hes terrific. Howie morris waswas my victim, hes my god made pigeons, he made little doves, and he made howie mars. [ laughter ] and he said, they shall be called prey. Prey . Right. Yes. They shall be called prey. And then he made wolves and foxes and tigers and they shall be called melvin. [ laughter ] and i went in the minute i saw howie, on the show of shows they introduced me to ii went for his neck. You know, ii couldnt help it. Hes just you have to go for him. Anyway, i met howie, and we went out, and we had lunch, and we were walking down in the village near mcdougal i said, my mind, i said, this would be a splendid place for a robbery. Bang i hit him. I smacked him against a yellow buick. I said, gimme your wallet, gimme youryour ring, your watch every your mon he didnt know me that well. He said, wait, a minute. Are you kid im not kidding. I want everything [ laughter ] gimme all right his wallet okay, dont hit. Dont hit. Gave me his wedding ring every i went back. I got a call from sid why did ya i said, i robbed him. He said, wellwell [ laughter ] i said, just tell him im a it, because i act even more angry. One month [ laughter ] dont bring it up. For a month, he didnt bring it up. He was afraid. A month later, he said, mel, do you remember, uh, we were walking down mcdougal alley, and youyou gave me a whack you know, you hurt me, and you took my wedding ring and my i cant drive my car. I leave my license oh im sorry, howie. Hey, i gave him ev uh, everything back. He was a cute guy. Every i gave everything back. Two years later, were rolling in central park, late, under a i s under a bridge i said, this is a perfect [ laughter ] pow [ laughter ] [ applause ] [ laughter ] he gave me his watch, his wedding ring. [ laughter ] he walked he put his shoes around his neck and he walked to shore. [ laughter ] when i love him. Hes a wonwonderful guy. I cant he doesnt if hes not watching this show, tonight, i will rob him, in six months. [ laughter ] were coming right back
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