we come back, these often overlooked works of mercy. thank you. archdiocese of san francisco overseeing eight cemeteriesa na welcome back to mosaic. my guest today is monica williams. monica is the director of the catholic cemeteries or the archdiocese of san francisco, overseeing eight cemeteries, and she received a bachelor's degree at the catholic university of america. monica began working in the field of funeral and cemetery services in 1989, a licensed funeral director or an cemetery manager, and hose be seeing of -- and holds the position of secretary-treasurer and monica serves on the paris finance council, and facilitates the support group there. welcome. -- parish financial counsel, and facilitates the support there. local monica, and it is nice to have you. we have been sharing with our viewers what it means that pope francis declared this the year of mercy, cultivating different ways to love our neighbors around the world. today we want to focus on two works of mercy that are often not talked about but very much a part of loving our neighbor that we are commanded to do in the gospel. the mourning of the dead and the burying of the dead. i was hoping we could talk a little bit about that, but before we get into that, i want to hear more about what you do specifically. you did this wonderful and important ministry in the church, and a lot of people don't know about it, and share with our viewers about what it is that you do, and some of the details of your work. back -- >> the key word is ministry. whether you are working at a catholic cemetery or non- catholic cemetery, is ministry. when you are taking care people in a difficult time of their lives, extending to them compassion and support, that is an important thing to do, whether you work for the church, you do that in your daily life in any job, and we have the special opportunity to take care people at a difficult time in their lives.>> and you oversee -- let's walk step-by- step, when someone has a death in their family, they come to your place of work, and then what happens from there?>> we have a staff of counselors that will take the call from the family and meet with them. perhaps they are in a situation where they need to select a place for their loved one to be buried, and perhaps they are using an existing family plot. we walked them through the choices that they have to make, and talk about what the service will be like on the day that they are with us. and of course, the ground staff that is responsible for opening the grade, or the crypt, and maintain the grounds. we want to offer peaceful reflection and prayer for those that come to visit. all of those pieces form what we do every day.>> that is wonderful, and how did you personally get involved in this? what was the vocation and how did you feel god calling you?>> as quite often what happens when god calls, he whispers and nudges, and that is what happened. i took a summer job in college, a part-time job that was intended to be just a part-time summer jobs at the holy cross cemetery. i fell in love with what we do there, and that is to take care people at a difficult time. the history of a place like this cemetery is also fascinating to me, all of the stories that are collected. from there i went on to work as a funeral director, a consultant, and i have been blessed to find this vocation in the ministry.>> for anyone else that is particularly called for this type of ministry, you have any tips or suggestions?>> one thing i talk a lot about with people that are interested in a career in the funeral or cemetery service is that it is very important to have a balance. you want to be very president, emotionally present and supportive to the family that you are helping. you want to make part of that humanity real, that you are touched by their story. but you cannot be so overwhelmed by their grief and story that you cannot continue to care for the next family that you take care of, and everyone after that. there's a great balance that you have to craft in this work, and it is assisted monumentally buy a gift of faith that gives us the sense that this is not the final goodbye. that this is simply the end of this part of the story, and that we will see each other again, and that helps to balance the grief and sadness that accompanies the laws.'s back -- that accompanies the laws. -- loss.>> that is very beautiful, and just the beginning, and as jesus dies and rose from the death, this is our hope. thank you so much, and we will come back after this break.more with monica about the works of mercy, and how you can engage in the works of mercy not only throughout this year of mercy, but your entire life. join us when we come back. thank you. welcome back to mosaic, and i am angela pollitt. -- pollack and i'm talking to monica williams, and we are talking about burying the dead, and also mourning the dead. and we talk about the corporal works of mercy in the spiritual works of mercy, and we will talk about the physical activity of burying the dead. it seems there are less and less christian burials today, and i'm wondering if you could talk a little bit about is that your experience, and why do you think that is?>> there is a trend to an increase in cremation, and i think some people are under the impression that if you are cremated you do not have the opportunity to have a funeral, but that is not true. we have an entire ritual built into the catholic funeral rite that is specifically geared toward cremation, a beautiful selection of prayer that takes people that have chosen cremation through those moments in our church tradition of the christian funeral. you can have an entire funeral with a vigil, a committal at the cemetery, and still be cremated. that is an important piece of that. there is also sometimes a sense that people have the they just do not want a lot of extra things, and they don't want to be the focus of too much attention. you hear your mom say don't buy me anything or don't do anything special for me, and it is that feeling sometimes. what happens with funerals is that it speaks to an internal need that all of us have as human beings to mark that something important has happened. when we take a look at the society today, and as we talk, we recently had the terrible tragedy in orlando, and the death of some very beloved celebrities, muhammad ali and prints. -- prince, and the outpouring of people wanting to come together to tell the story. that is a very basic human need, and in cremation we had that need, and people still want together and remember, want to say a prayer or tell a story. we are very blessed with the christian tradition that we have this ritual. it is rich in the words and music, and the piecing together that we can use.>> i hear what you're saying. as we look at some examples of the celebrities and the tragedies in the recent news, you do see there is a natural and instinct, a desire to celebrate the person's life and to remember them and share the stories. people have naturally across the country come together in various ways, prayerfully and i think you hit on something really important. i wonder what it is about cremation, and i have heard and seen that in the ministry work that i do that there is a growing trend toward that. i wonder why people think you do not need to have a funeral, and do you know why that is?>> i think we as funeral and cemetery professionals need to take this on as a responsibility. i don't think we have done a good enough job about talking about the different ways people can remember their loved ones within their own religious tradition or personally. we bear some responsibility for that, and we as church need to do a better job about talking to people about what is the richness of the tradition that we have to support you at a difficult time, at a life- changing time. there is that tremendous tradition we have to draw on. >> for the viewers, what would you want to share with them about our ritual of burying the dead in the roman catholic faith, and how that could be helpful to them, or something you would like to let them know about that could help them to understand how the service can be a beautiful way of celebrating someone's life, and burying the dead?>> it is important for people to know that sometimes they are not aware of that it is true that you can make this very personalized. a lot of times what we encounter today, everyone wants to burn lies -- personalized with your own playlist, things like that. that is possible within the catholic tradition. when we sit down with people ahead of time when they are beginning to plan for the funeral, we can talk about what are the songs in readings that are meaningful to you, that speak to you and the person that you are planning for. what kind of videos or photographs can we show at the reception, at the gathering, that really tell the story of this life. we never want people to think that a funeral is boring. or terribly sad, because it is sad, and that is okay. if we are sad, that means we will miss them and loved that person, and it is hard to avoid the sadness. the funeral gives us a way to work through that and be supportive by our family members, friends, neighbors and coworkers. to have the opportunity to focus on that wonderful life, to celebrate that life in the order of the christian funeral is designed to be a celebration of life. we think of that is a more modern term, but it is a ancient term in our church of teaching and how to conduct the funerals, a celebration of life, the gift of that life.>> when we talk about people personalizing it, within our tradition of the church, does that mean that they can bring in cultural things as well, if and i'm thinking about my mother that is not dead but wants a particular song to be plated a funeral. i am thinking about so many -- to be played at a funeral. i'm thinking about so many that want that thing and culture that are not necessarily part of the hymnal, not a part of our prayer book. but they are meaningful to people, and can they include those types of things? >> they can, and i like to tell people there is a time and place for everything, ecclesiastes taught us that. probably not appropriate at the communion or meditation. but it is actually appropriate to be the music in the backdrop of the video tribute, appropriate to be played while people gather at the vigil. there are always ways to incorporate something that is important. either during the vigil or reception, or in some cases, at the mass, but the primary focus is the mass of course. back wonderful.>> it is great to learn about how we can first ideas, make it meaningful and celebrate the lives of those we love. and thank you for talking about burying the dead, and when we come back we will talk about mourning the dead after this brief break. thank you. boy: this is the story of a boy who didn't talk for a long time. the boy liked things to always be the same. any changes would scare and upset him. the unknown was an unfriendly place. the boy was very sensitive to lights and sounds. so he built secret hiding places where they couldn't get in. the boy didn't like looking people in the eye. he wasn't trying to be mean, it just made him feel uncomfortable. sometimes he would flap his arms again and again. second boy: one day, i found out i had something called autism. my family got me help. slowly i found my voice and learned all the ways i could live with it better. announcer: early intervention can make a lifetime of difference. learn the signs at autismspeaks.org. welcome back to mosaic, and i am angela pollack in with me today's monica williams . we are talking about important works of mercy that you can engage in during this year mercy, burying the dead and mourning the dead. we just wrapped up on talking about burying the dead and how important it is to celebrate people's lives. but many people, if they experience a loss, how can they engage in this worker mercy of varying the dead?>> we certainly don't want to wish a funeral on people and we don't want that to happen. but for those that want to explore the works of mercy in becoming involved, how do you bury the dead without mourning the loss? there is a practical way to engage in that, and if you can give financial donations to an organization like the catholic charities or to the catholic cemetery, we all have a set up that will allow us to provide a burial service to those they do not have a family or financial resources, and that is a practical way to engage in the burial of the dead, and act through mercy to their brothers and sisters.>> that is so great to know that through the catholic charities and through your office they can donate. but what about for those, i purge you mentioned before, people that do not have loved ones that can bury them. and there are other things that we can do for our brothers and sisters that are in that situation.>> we recently started a program working through the archdiocese and through the parishes for the people that want to be able to be present and pray the prayers of committal at the cemetery and for those that would otherwise have no one to pray for them. that is been a program that is just begun within the last year and is been a concrete way together and engage in the work of mercy to bury the dead by being present for people that do not have anyone.>> that is such beautiful work and wonderful that you offer that. to know that other people can get involved as well. again, should the contactor office?>> anytime anyone has a question about the ministry or how they can help, or how that affects their lives, they can certainly contact us and easiest ways through our website, holycrosscemeteries.com. back wonderful, and we talk about mourning the dead, and how do you engage people in the work of mercy? >> the spiritual worker mercy is a little bit easier for us to imagine how we would engage in that, praying for the dead and comforting those that more and. -- and those that mourn. and incorporating all of those that have died is part of your regular prayer life, being rarely -- very tentative a mass when we are praying for the dead, and to be conscious of that. at the cemetery, on the first saturday of every month at 11:00 we gather at the community to offer mass for all of those buried in the catholic cemeteries, a tradition that goes back to the beginning of the archdiocese, that we in the community pray for the dead and we did that so that they will always be remembered. and so their families are always supported in prayer, and anyone can come and participate at 11:00 at the holy cross cemetery.>> this is in the all saints chapel, a wonderful reminder that teaching of the church about the communion of saints, we are all present to each other, living and dead on this journey of faith in our lives in christ. >> that is beautiful. talking about the mourning of the dead, and i think about how in our society today we talk a lot about grief, but we do not talk about mourning. i think there is a difference between the two, and in order to mourn, it is important to understand what it means first, and i'm wondering if you could speak a little bit to that and how would you explain the difference between grieving and mourning?>> that is a wonderful phrase, mourning well, morning or grieving -- mourning or grieving is closely related, but it can become complicated. it can become collocated by broken relationship, or the sudden violence of the death, things that take what is a loss, something that we mourn and take it to an additional level of stress and emotional impact on our lives. that is where we do a lot of grief work. but mourning is a healthy and natural response to a loss in our lives, and it says that we love someone that was important, that they matter. it is hosted and supported when you live in the community of faith that says that person mattered, and you are missing them, and that hurts. but we have faith because we are the resurrection of people, this is not the end and we will see each other again.>> wonderful. what you were saying before about how important burial is in the funeral process is, and there is a trend that we are saying, and i've seen it in the ministry work that i do, toward cremation. and people not understanding that you can still have a funeral, and to create the space to mourn begins with the funeral. and you literally have a space that you come together with other people, you remember that person that you love, you share stories, and of space to shed tears, and it is also important. do you have any final thoughts are things to share with our viewers about this important ministry work that you do?>> i would just encourage everyone to pray, pray for your family members, pray for us in our ministry in what we do. pray for the people that we serve. the greatest gift we can give each other is to pray, and it is very obvious that a time of death and loss that that is what gets us through, the people of faith.>> thank you so much for being with us today, and thank you all for being with us today, and we will be praying for you, and join us again as we continue on our year of mercy journey. love to hear from you. go to facebook dot com slash bay nday and comment t welcome to bay sunday, and i am your host, kenny choi. if you have a show idea we would love to hear from you. go to facebook.com /mosaic and today i will be talking to a young artist on the rise, and first, welcome tiffany and janet. good morning. there have been a lot of spotlight on the lgbtq issues recently, especially with the military recently announcing that all people, including transgender people can serve the military.