[police radio chatter] [emergency sirens] - we'll just be a little while. - there she is. - did anybody else know you were here? - he must have followed her. - okay, so you checked in. - i checked in. i was walking to my room. he was right there. he just came at me. - did you see a weapon? - a knife. he had a knife. he said, "i got you this time." i had a gun, my gun, in my purse. i pulled it out. i wasn't even thinking. i just closed my eyes and bang. - hey, monk, you okay? well, if you're not too busy, the body's over here. thank you. - so who was he? - ah, a nobody. well, as close to a nobody as you're gonna find. timlinson. - timlinson? - yeah. we just ran his name. never been arrested. not even a traffic ticket. manages a taco bell. before that, 15 years with the city parks and maintenance. before that, he was in the mail room at some big accounting firm. before that, a couple years of community college. under the radar his whole life until about an hour ago. - and he wrote all those letters? - yeah, looks like it. we found more in his coat. plus the handwriting matches, at least to me. plus he lives in sunset heights. that's where the other letters were postmarked. - why would he do it? - maybe he loved the show. maybe the show meant the world to him, and she betrayed everything it stood for. - he read the book, didn't he? not page 73. - no, i ate it. - good. - miss rapp, do you remember signing this? we found it in his car. - no, but i've signed millions of those. - [chuckling] i'll bet you have. - mr. monk, thank you for being here. - and you never saw this guy before? - no. maybe. i meet a lot of people. - yeah, we know. we read the book. maybe you should have called your friend bob denver. - mr. monk. i'm so sorry. he's never really read anything like that before. - can i take her home now? - yeah. we'll bring the car around front. we'll deal with this tomorrow. - i'm sorry to disappoint you, mr. monk. - is it true, the things in the book? the things--things you did? - not the whole truth. - i knew it. i knew it. thank god. - i mean, i've done a lot worse. i mean, stuff i couldn't even write about. i was young, mr. monk. weren't you young once? right? maybe you weren't. but you've been lonely. i can tell. i was just a girl, mr. monk. just a girl, trying to be a little less lonely. - i don't have a lot of happy memories. watching that show was about it. now it's gone. - well, if that's true, i'm really sorry. can you forgive me? - no. - don't be mad. i know how you hate surprises, so i'm just gonna warn you. i'm gonna be surprising you. - what? when? - in about ten seconds. this is sort of a heads-up, like a surprise alert. - wait. you can't just burst in here and say, "surprise alert." you have to give me a little warning. - oh, okay, sorry. this is the surprise alert warning. this is the surprise alert. now... surprise! i called ambrose, and he told me this was your favorite snack. ten round crackers, a glass of apple juice with one ice cube. - what's going on? - and i rented this, your favorite show. - i don't have a favorite show. - mr. monk, i know how important this show is to you. okay, you can still enjoy it. you can still watch it. all right, all right, you're 12 years old. it's tuesday night. it's 8:00. you've been waiting all week. it's cooper clan time. ♪ make yourself at home with the cooper clan ♪ ♪ you'll never be alone with the cooper clan ♪ ♪ you got bill, janey, cathy, and dan ♪ ♪ don't forget skip - it's scamp. - scamp, get off that divan! - you wasted your money. i can't watch it. - you know what, forget about christine rapp and her stupid, stupid book. everybody in hollywood's crazy, and if we think about that stuff, nobody would ever to go the movies. i don't go to the movies. - or watch tv. - i don't watch tv. - you get the point. - no, i don't. - all right, let's just try it. let's just watch one. which one do you want to see? let's see. "where there's fire, there's smoking." that sounds funny. "slumber party pooper." "grounded for life." well, i mean, they all sound fantastic. okay. let's just play the first one. - episode four, "broken arm, broken heart." - ooh, good choice. episode four. - ♪ make yourself at home with the cooper clan ♪ ♪ you'll never be alone with the cooper clan ♪ - picture go fast. - it just started. - picture go fast. - go fast. - picture regular. - picture regular. - hey, jimmy, you want to sign my cast? [boys chuckle] nobody groovy wants to sign my cast. - picture freezer. - picture freezer. the "e" and the "t". it's the same handwriting. - as what? - as the mirror and the letters sent to christine rapp. i knew i'd seen it before. she wrote those letters to herself with her left hand. - why? - so she could kill victor timlinson and claim it was self-defense. she was setting him up. - you heard the captain. he was a nobody. - well, he was somebody to her. [knocking] - hello? hello, mr. timlinson? i don't think he's home. - probably not. he's single, and he's dead. - oh, yeah. wait. are you going in? - it'd be a crime not to. - it'd be a crime if we did. - so it doesn't matter either way. - [sighs] - oh. - ew. - don't touch anything. - i'll try not to. - i was talking to myself. - oh. so what are we looking for? - a connection between this guy and christine rapp. she killed him on purpose, so they must have known each other. - i don't see anything. - exactly. that's what's wrong. i mean, he was obsessed with her, remember? where are the pictures? where's his cooper clan lunch box? there should be a shrine. - yeah. i'll go check in back. - interior decorating? i don't think so. natalie. natalie, look at this. i got it. that's been wrapped in a flaky crust stuffed with a gooey center toasted up all golden brown then given a delicious design? a toaster strudel. pillsbury toaster strudel. so delicious...so fun. progress-oh! [ female announcer ] with 40 delicious progresso soups at 100 calories or less, there are plenty of reasons people are saying "progress-oh!" share your progress-oh! story on facebook. ['70s style sitcom music] - you know, this was your mother's favorite vase. it was a family heirloom. do you know what heirloom means? - easily breakable? [laugh track laughter] - dad, you're a surgeon. why can't you operate on it? - wish i could, billy, but i'm afraid in this case, the patient's never gonna recover. - you all know the rules about running in the house. we need to know what happened here. which one of you broke the vase? danny, do you have something to say? - maybe it was a ghost. i always felt this living room was haunted. - the window was open. maybe a raccoon came in. - i don't think it was a raccoon. it's not a ghost. i think the culprit is in this room right now. - why are you always accusing us? why don't you ever get mad at adrian? - yeah, you never even suspect him. - adrian never gets in trouble. adrian is perfect. adrian, adrian, adrian. [cheers and applause] [cheers and applause] - hey, mom. hey, dad. hey, danny. hey, cathy. hey, billy. hey, janey. sorry i'm late. i was busy at school because i'm so popular. oh, guess what. i made the football team. and guess what else. i'm the quarterback, the popular star quarterback. and nobody makes fun of me because i'm so popular. - that's wonderful, adrian. just don't throw the ball around the house. - oops. - why not? the vase is already broken. [laugh track laughter] - i'm so proud of you, son. thanks for being such a wonderful boy. - you're welcome, dad. and thank you for never driving away and leaving us forever. [audience awws] - i would never do such a thing. you don't have to worry about that. [audience awws] [audience awws] [audience awws] - cathy, is there anything you'd like to say to mom and dad? - mom, dad, i have a confession. scamp broke your vase. - scamp? - we didn't want to tell you. we were afraid you'd send him back to the kennel. [audience awws] - i understand why you did what you did, but it's never right to lie. - sorry, dad. - cathy, is there anything else you'd like to confess? - i looked in janey's diary. [audience oohs] - no, no, you know what i'm talking about. i'm talking about this. - you mean, all the trophies you won playing sports? - ha ha! no, not my trophies. i'm talking about her silver globe award. you didn't really earn this, did you? - i don't know what you're talking about. - here's what happened. 35 years ago, after this show was cancelled, your career was in trouble. - i'm not listening. ♪ la, la, la, la, la - and when you were nominated for this award, you knew it was your last chance, and you would do anything to win. you met a fan named victor timlinson. he told you where he worked. it was the luckiest break of your career. he worked for an accounting firm called fineman and kelly. they tabulated the ballots for all the big show business awards. i don't know how you did it. maybe you paid him off. maybe you flirted with him. but somehow you convinced him to rig the final tally. years went by. you probably figured you'd never see him again. but when he read about your big book deal, mr. timlinson reappeared. he got greedy. he tried to shake you down. he threatened to tell the world the truth about how you really won this. and you knew if you paid him, he'd eventually want more. they always do. so you decided to kill him. - that's crazy talk. - you set him up! you sent those letters to yourself. you even blew up your own car. on monday night, you arranged to meet him at that motel. [gunshots] you shot him. you planted that knife in his hand and those letters in his coat. - cathy, we've talked about this. killing people is never the answer. - i'm afraid you're grounded, young lady. - it's not fair. he doesn't have any proof. the d.a. is gonna laugh you out of his office. - i don't think so. 'cause i found this in timlinson's apartment in a hollowed-out book. the original ballots. timlinson must have kept a couple as an insurance policy. - i'm very disappointed in you, cathy. - it's not just cathy! this whole family is wacko. it's all in her book. you know where she is now? she's in miami dancing in a strip club. - what choice do i have? i have a baby to feed. danny didn't send me any child support. i haven't seen a nickel. - yeah, well, how do i know the kid's even mine, huh, janey? - what about me? - you got hooked on crystal meth. this was the last job you ever had. - oh, shucky darns. [laugh track laughter] - do you hear that? what are they laughing at? what are you-- - mr. monk, help me. - i'm not finished yet. - mr. monk, help me, please! mr. monk, help me. help me, please. [groaning, grunting] mr. monk, help me. - get back! get back. don't move. stay there. stay down, and just stay right there. you're in big, big trouble, young lady. that was from episode five, season two, "grounded for life." i used to love that one. ♪ don't our dogs deserve to eat fresher less processed foods introducing freshpet recipes so fresh the only preservative we use is the fridge freshpet fresh food for fido saved $480 bucks.car insurance you know what that is? yeah. don't say it. so you know what it is, right? yeah, yeah, don't. that's a lot of dough! ♪ [ male announcer ] switch and you could save $480 bucks with state farm. - can i help you? - yes. i would like to return this. - oh, i'm sorry. was there a problem? - yes, there was a problem. she's a whore. - and she killed someone. - that too. - i'm sorry you're disappointed. here you go. anything else? - yeah, it's hardly worth mentioning. do you remember when i said you could keep the change? - how much was it? - 12 cents. - okay. - excuse me. - is there a problem? - this page is from a different book. it's been taped in. - ha. i don't think so. - "oliver was told that he might do "what he like with his old clothes. he gave them to a servant who'd been kind to him." this is from oliver twist. - i told you. i'm sorry, i tried to tell him. - now i remember. see, she ate page 73, so i put another page in there, a different page. - you ruined the book. - actually, i improved the book. that's charles dickens. it's a classic. - i don't understand. why would you do this? - i believe the sign says, "no questions." - sorry. - [sighs] - what? - they were the only family i had. now i got nothing. - that's not true, mr. monk. you have me. and you have julie, and you have randy, and the captain. we're your family. - ah, it's not the same. - sure it is. - you don't say funny things. - sure we do. - say something funny. - well, i can't just say something funny off the top of my head. - yeah, cathy cooper could. - well, she had writers. okay, wait, wait, i got one. knock, knock. - that's not funny. captioning by captionmax www.captionmax.com

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