Transcripts For KNTV The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon

Transcripts For KNTV The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon 20170913



musical guest patti smith. and featuring the legendary roots crew. >> questlove: 735! >> steve: and now, here he is, jimmy fallon! ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, looking good. looking great tonight. welcome, everybody. welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome to "the tonight show." this is it, baby. [ cheers and applause ] we made it. we're here, thank you. well, here's what people are talking about. i guess hillary clinton's book "what happened" came out today. and i heard that it's almost 500 pages long. [ light laughter ] unfortunately, the only person with enough time to read it is hillary clinton. >> steve: wow. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: they sold one copy. >> steve: one person. >> jimmy: yeah. well, actually i heard that hilly will actually be signing books at a costco in connecticut. [ laughter ] it's going to be awesome when someone gets to the front and goes, "oh, i thought this was the line for cheese samples. i'm sorry. [ laughter and applause ] can you sign a cheese sample?" but this is interesting, if you pick up a copy of the book, you'll see that a lot of notable people wrote little blurbs in the back cover. i'll show you what i mean. for example, vladimir putin wrote, "was like fairytale cinderella book. princess failed and pumpkin becomes president." [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: oh. wow! >> jimmy: next, barack obama wrote, "i'd say i got to hand it to you, but the last time i tried to hand you something, you lost it to donald trump." [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: me-ow! >> jimmy: and finally, president trump wrote, "i loved it. especially the end, i really did not see that coming. enjoy." why would you put those blurbs on the book? i don't know. [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: wow. >> jimmy: but everybody is talking about this, last night on twitter, ted cruz's official account liked a pornographic video. [ laughter ] the next time cruz tries to reach across the aisle, the other senators will be like, "no, thank you. that's good. we're good." that's right, cruz liked a a pornographic video. some are wondering if he's going to hire a pr team to beat the scandal, but cruz says he plans to beat it alone. >> steve: really? [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: yeah, he doesn't -- he says it's fine. he's got to do it. [ rim shot ] >> steve: whoa! wee! >> jimmy: on the plus side, he was wearing a fitbit, so he got his 10,000 steps in. >> steve: well that's good. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey, i don't know that -- i didn't even -- ♪ >> steve: cruz. >> jimmy: this is nice, today president trump became a a grandfather for the ninth time, yeah. when asked to name all of his grandkids, trump just started listing names from mambo number five. [ laughter and applause ] he's like, "monica, erica, rita, tina." [ laughter ] and finally you guys, apple unveiled its new iphone today and get this, they say the iphone 10 will look at you and recognize you. which means one lucky phone will be like, "oh, my god, beyonce." [ laughter and applause ] we have a great show tonight. give it up for the roots, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that was amazing. we love it. that is nine-time grammy winning musician herb alpert sitting in with the roots tonight. [ cheers and applause ] i am honored to have you here. his current album, "music volume 1," debuted at number 1 on the contemporary jazz chart and you can pick up his new holiday album, "a christmas wish," on september 29th. herb, i know you're in town -- >> wow, man, thank you so much. >> jimmy: you're at -- you're at the carlyle, right? >> we're at the carlyle until saturday night, yeah. >> jimmy: i'm going to go check you out. i love you so much. we always talk about you on the show 'cause i can go on for -- i mean, even - - "this guy's in love with you," "lonely bull," "spanish flea," all the dating game music that you hear. that's you. >> you got it. >> jimmy: "rise." we were -- we were just talking and i -- there was a song and i heard and i go, "what is that song?" it goes -- [ mimicking song ] ♪ and -- and so i go -- questlove goes, "oh, it's 'route 101.'" it's herb alpert. i go, "i know it's herb, i didn't know if that was the name of the song." i love that song so much if -- if you could be in the worst mood when you hear the song, it just puts you in a good mood -- like, i'll try it, can you just give a little taste and i'll try it. >> yeah. >> jimmy: just give me like -- ♪ [ laughter ] ♪ ♪ >> steve: wow. wow! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, i love you! herb alpert right there. go see him at the carlyle, here in new york city. [ cheers and applause ] you're music is so positive. it's just -- everything is really -- every song i hear puts me in a good mood. and you're such a talented guy. >> well that's what i try to do. i try to make uplifting music. you know, we're going through a a strange time right now. and in this country and around the world, i want -- i want music to elevate. i like that feeling. >> jimmy: absolutely, yeah. it's great. [ cheers and applause ] guys, we have a fun show tonight. we love when she stops by. from the new movie, "mother," jennifer lawrence is here. [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: oh! she's the best. >> jimmy: look at this. gorgeous, oh, my gosh. beautiful right there. jennifer -- we always have fun with her on the show. jennifer challenged me to an axe throwing competition. [ light laughter ] >> steve: the body spray? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah. >> steve: wow! >> jimmy: throwing aerosol cans -- you know how dangerous that is? >> steve: yeah, crazy. >> jimmy: i've never thrown an axe in my life and i guess she only did it once, but she challenged me and i said, "yes." >> steve: oh. >> jimmy: so it's happening tonight -- [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: what! >> jimmy: we're having it -- she's the best. from the new netflix series, "narcos" and the new movie, "kingsman: the golden circle," pedro pascal is joining us. >> steve: yeah! [ cheers and applause ] i cannot wait. >> jimmy: and then -- oh, man, oh, man. she has a new book out today called, "devotion." performing to close the show tonight, an absolute legend, patti smith is here tonight, you guys. >> steve: oh! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: patti smith is here. >> steve: what a show. >> jimmy: i just love her. she's great. guys, it's time to take a look at the stories making headlines today and weigh the good with the bad. it's time for "pros and cons," here we go. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ pros and cons and pros and cons and pros ♪ >> jimmy: tonight we'll be taking a look at the pros and cons of the new iphone. >> steve: hmm. >> jimmy: earlier today, apple revealed their newest phone and all the updated features. so let's take a look at the pros and cons of the new iphone. here we go. pro, it has a glass front and a a glass back. con, now you can crack your phone on both sides. [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: oh! >> jimmy: that's great. >> steve: a win-win. >> jimmy: might as well throw axes around. pro, it has a much larger screen. con, hearing trump accuse apple of trying to make his hands look even smaller. oh, that sounds like -- >> steve: what? >> jimmy: "i've always hated apples." [ light laughter ] "they're the worst fruit, am i right?" [ laughter ] >> steve: "never eaten one." [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: pro, there's still no headphone jack, so hang onto your dongle. [ light laughter ] con, hang onto your dongle is what ted cruz does when he logs onto twitter. >> steve: ayo! hey! [ laughter and applause ] ♪ >> steve: dongle. >> jimmy: pro, apple is also releasing a new apple watch 3. con, in case a $1,000 phone wasn't enough to tell your friends "i make more money than you." [ laughter and applause ] it's like, "yeah. i can call from my arm too." >> steve: "i got it. it broke." >> jimmy: pro, it has a a bezel-free display. con, awe, man, they got rid of the bezel. can't believe they got rid of the bezel. [ light laughter ] the bezel was my favorite part. [ laughter and applause ] "i love the bezel. what's a phone without a bezel? you got to have the bezel." [ laughter ] "what's wrong with the bezel?" pro, it uses facial recognition instead of a password. con, getting locked out of your phone every time you get a a pimple. oh, just like that -- [ laughter and applause ] it's not recognizing me! >> steve: "this is not you. wait, ted cruz?" >> jimmy: no, i'm not ted cruz. "this is not you" is what the robot says, though? >> steve: yeah. [ light laughter ] "my friend." >> jimmy: whoever it is, it is me. >> steve: "no, it's not you anymore." >> jimmy: finally, pro, you have clearest audio for making phone calls. con, the only people who still make phone calls in 2 2017 are your parents. >> steve: yeah! >> jimmy: there you go. those are the "pros and cons," everybody. we'll be right back with jennifer lawrence. come on back. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ the all new 2018 camry. toyota. let's go places. heare you one sneeze away from being voted out of the carpool? try zyrtec® it's starts working hard at hour one and works twice as hard when you take it again the next day. stick with zyrtec® and muddle no more®. ==reveal== the a )s have announced their future home. reportedly -- they wanna build a new ballaprk next to laney college in oakland -- near lake merritt.. the team is expected to announce their intent to buoild -- wednesday morning. ==reveal== on our homepage: people in one alamdea neighborhood are being told to not drink their tap water. it )s contaminated. this only impacts the area of alameda point. no word on what )s wrong with te water. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our first is an academy award winning actress who stars in a new movie called "mother" which opens a friday. ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the one and only jennifer lawrence. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: jennifer, everybody. jennifer, welcome back! >> hey. >> jimmy: welcome back, welcome back. >> hey. >> jimmy: i love having you. >> thanks, awe. >> jimmy: you look gorgeous as always. >> thank you. >> jimmy: talk about gorgeous look at this right here. oh, la-la, saison. >> thank you. >> jimmy: i mean -- this is the biggest night -- >> i didn't know you spoke french. >> jimmy: well -- [ laughter ] this is the largest magazine i have ever seen in my lifetime. >> yeah, well an the interesting thing -- >> jimmy: this is hillary clinton's new book. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it's unbelievable. >> i don't know why she chose me for the cover. >> jimmy: it's your book. >> but it's really flattering. >> jimmy: but you're honored. yeah. >> jimmy: this is gorgeous. >> i said, "of course." >> jimmy: of course. how many -- there's different covers, right? >> yeah, this is the annie leibovitz. i actually have -- i don't own one of these, because i thought that would be super modest. >> jimmy: yeah, just having it around your apartment. oh, i guess i'm on the cover of "vogue." >> that's not me. >> jimmy: yeah, it's hard to find you in here. none of these are you. >> this is the one with bruce weber. >> jimmy: oh, that is you. oh, bruce weber. >> and i haven't worked with bruce weber since i was 15 and i did an abercrombie shoot. >> jimmy: me too! i'm his -- i was -- [ laughter ] >> and i have none of the pictures. >> jimmy: i'm always shirtless at abercrombie. >> none of the pictures ended up being useful, because they told us to play football, but it was like -- you know, like, model football. but i was like, red faced, sweating, nostrils flared, like, "uhh." at one point one girl said, "get her away from me." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: really? >> and then, yeah. and then when i went to do the shoot with bruce, hang on. we did -- when had done this photo. how does this work? >> jimmy: it's a magazine. >> oh. >> jimmy: oh, wait. >> so we had done this photo, where my hair is all greasy. and so next day i showed up and tried to wash my hair like six times. and it just was not going anywhere. and so i showed up, hadn't seen him since i was 15, all sweaty and disgusting. i showed up like a grease ball. they're like, "what are we going to do? we have to wash your hair." and, uh, i speak french too. >> oh-la-la, saison. ohh -- >> yeah. you're not the only one. >> jimmy: look at this the horse whisperer. i mean, look at this. >> yeah, i don't know if the horse is doing that because, i was doing that. >> jimmy: yeah, are you frightening -- are you -- was that real? >> yeah, it was real. >> jimmy: it was real. >> the horses were very real. >> jimmy: what were you do -- saying to the horse? >> stand up. [ laughter ] what else do you say to a a horse. >> jimmy: you said -- i don't know, man. but you, you grew up with horses. so this must have -- >> i did, yeah. i grew up -- i grew up with horses. >> jimmy: what was yours horse's name? >> i had, well, i had many horses. um, but -- >> jimmy: bones, was one. >> it was -- there was one horse named bones. growing up on a farm, you have ups and downs. there's good things and very sad things. i was at a cheerleading competition. i was a cheerleader. which i'm really proud of. >> jimmy: yeah. >> i was at a cheerleading competition. my mom was mouthing something and i didn't understand, and she was like, "what?" she's like, "bones is dead." [ laughter ] "bones died." i was like, "what?" >> jimmy: bones is dead. >> yeah, and she's here and i was like, "can you try to rethink what your thinking was on the timing on that?" >> jimmy: did you start crying? >> no, then they she went into how -- what she's getting my, um, 3-year-old nephew for his birthday. she's like, "did i tell you what i'm getting theo for his birthday?" "i'm getting him a leaf blower." "a real leaf blower." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: a real leaf blower. >> a real -- >> jimmy: he's gonna love it. >> yeah. he actually really will. >> jimmy: he will? how old is he? >> he's turning three. he loves engines, trains, locomotives. >> jimmy: i remember when i was three. >> is that what they are called? >> jimmy: yeah. >> oh cool. >> jimmy: yeah, well i don't think you're gonna get him a a locomotive. >> i don't know why i keep drinking this water. >> jimmy: 'cause water is good for you. i remember as a kid i really wanted a metal detector. i don't live by the beach. i didn't grow up -- i just had my back and my front yard. >> oh, i was picturing -- oh, you mean, the scanner. i thought you meant like the kind we walk through in the airport. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i joined the tsa when i was 3 years old. [ laughter ] >> no, i begged for and finally got a clap on/clap off. in my room. oh, it was sick. >> jimmy: it didn't quite work. my grandparents had that and they hooked to the christmas tree but also the television. >> oh, my god. >> jimmy: it was so awful. 'cause they would be like -- [ clap clap ] i would just run into there -- i would run into the room clap and then leave the room. and like, the tree would go off, the tv would turn on. they loved me. i was a great grandkid. >> wow. >> jimmy: yeah, i was great. >> you sound like a hoot. >> jimmy: i know, yeah. i want to talk to you about reality shows because i know -- i heard that you like reality shows. and i love them, i'm obsessed. what do -- >> bravo, is it, bravo? >> jimmy: bravo is on in my household 24/7. >> i am a -- i guess kind of a a producer of all of the real housewives, andy cohen and i. >> jimmy: that is not true. >> i would call us colleagues. >> jimmy: you and andy cohen? >> yeah, i get really passionate and i give him a lot of advice. >> jimmy: wait, i do too. >> i know, really? but do you text him? do you make a difference in the show, like me? >> jimmy: i've never made a a dent. do you really? have you changed the -- >> i mean, we'll see 'cause one of the star's fates is kind of in my hands. [ light laughter ] so. >> jimmy: this is insane. >> well, not to brag. >> jimmy: which ones do you watch? >> well, i have different with -- beverly hills, my friends and i have a drinking game. with anytime lisa rinna says her husband's full name harry hamlin. she calls -- have you guys ever noticed that? she always goes, "harry hamlin is on his way." >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. >> and so we have a drinking game for that. >> jimmy: every time she says his full name. >> but my -- when i found out when luanne announced her divorce to tom. i was horrified and shocked, and my stomach dropped, because i realize i had just seen the reunion, which means they aren't filming. so i texted andy, and i was like, "get a camera in ramona's face right now." i also told him to show the interview, or not the interview but the moment in the berkshires where betheny is crying and going, "i just don't think your guy is a good guy." anyway, i don't know. >> jimmy: not that's it i mean -- >> it's hard to explain -- it's hard to explain the ways of producing, you know, if you're not a producer. so. >> jimmy: oh, my god. you're un -- does andy every call you and give you ideas for your set? >> he wouldn't get it. >> oh, it's a little bit over your head you wouldn't get it. [ laughter ] does andy ever call and give you notes? on your acting? >> he doesn't say the same thing about me. >> jimmy: yeah, no, yeah. i have to tell you saw "mother" last night. i'm still shaken to the core. >> i thought you were just kidding, okay. >> jimmy: not my mother. >> right. >> jimmy: i saw mother the other night. like it's our mother. >> oh, thank you for seeing it. >> jimmy: no, your movie "mother." >> yeah, it's very -- it's hard to watch. >> jimmy: yeah, we don't have the same -- we're not brother and sister. [ laughter ] you're the daddy. >> i thought you were being andy cohen. okay, anyway. >> jimmy: no, yeah. no, i saw the movie -- i saw your movie last night directed by darren aranovsky. which is a coincidence i grew up with an aaron daranoski. >> oh, really? >> jimmy: no relation. oh, and -- i saw this move last night and i am still shaking. i don't know what i went trough. >> yeah, i know. >> jimmy: why did -- how did you -- act in this? did you take a giant vacation after this role? this is insane. >> i mean, i've already said this. i don't know if people got this. i got to such a low point, in the film, emotionally, like, i was going to such a dark place eventually i had to bring the kardashians in. [ light laughter ] not in person, obviously. >> jimmy: that happens. no, no that happens they do that for people. >> yeah. >> jimmy: yeah they show up it's like a party bus. they show up like, "we're here to carry ya out. what's up?" >> oh, my god. >> jimmy: you know khloe, kendell, they go though the whole family. >> oh, my god, no, we -- we i had to do this one scene. that like, i had never gone that, like, dark before, i don't want to sound like my craft, but i had never done something that horrifying. so i started getting scared like a couple of days before and i was like, "i needed a a tent to be away from all the extras." so i didn't know what i would do. and then eventually one kardashian came and then another kardashian came. >> jimmy: like a clown car. yeah, they all come out of one car. >> it was just a computer playing "the kardashians" and had head shots and it also little notes of like to me from them that i had written. >> yeah, of course. yeah. just like, just to keep you happy. >> yeah, like, which i can't share any of them, because i don't want to offend anybody but just like my own personal thoughts. >> jimmy: but they make you happy? >> i don't know. no i -- because i'm watching i'm going, "this is just insane for one person to do all this." you were so good. >> oh, thank you. >> jimmy: you're so talented. >> thanks. >> jimmy: and i'm just like i feel for you and i'm like, "i don't know how much i can take." >> i know, my whole family is going to see it tomorrow. and i'm really scared. i'm like, really worried about my brother seeing it. >> jimmy: oh, it is bizarre. we saw it, and it had an awesome sound system. the place was rattling. because sound is a very -- i would say is one of your co-stars in the film. would you agree? >> totally. yeah. the design, the amount of effort that darren put into the sound design was really grade a. >> jimmy: tell him he did a a great job from like it's from me. >> okay, i will. >> jimmy: i think i know what i'm talking about. [ light laughter ] it starts off, and you hear every creek, and every little thing and i go okay, and by the end -- i don't -- i hate to -- i don't even know what to tell people about the movie. >> i don't really know what to tell people either. i've gone between either not saying anything and just telling everybody everything. >> jimmy: just go see it. just go see it. and not know anything. that's what i did. >> or you can google all the times i've just spilled the entire plot. >> jimmy: no, don't. we won't do that here. >> there's many of them. >> jimmy: but you guys javier bardem, and you -- you -- he's a writer, and you have this remote house in the middle of nowhere, then and a a strange dude -- >> that represent earth. >> jimmy: you're spoiling a a bit. >> i know, i know, i know. i really can't help it. >> jimmy: stop it. >> i know but i feel like the metaphors are so good. >> jimmy: don't tell people what to think. no don't. >> cause people don't, don't know. >> jimmy: the metaphors, yeah, no they do -- they get the metaphors. >> you sound just like darren-oski. >> jimmy: aaron darrenoksi? >> darren oksay. >> jimmy: oh, darren oksay, oh yeah, i knew him, too. his parents owned a car wash. osky's car wash. [ light laughter ] i don't know what -- a stranger comes to the door, it's ed harris, and things just get weird. >> yeah. >> jimmy: it gets insane. >> yeah they almost get biblical. >> jimmy: i was going insane watching it. this is the most -- wow. it's beautifully shot. >> when i saw it with an audience, i felt like, really shook afterwards, and i told darren aside and i was like, "this is a mistake and we took it too far." [ light laughter ] and then like, he was like, "what?" and 30 minutes later i was like, "ah, no." >> jimmy: you were singing --were you singing christmas carols? you were trying to play christmas music to keep you happy? >> that was -- yeah, after i would do a scene and i would try to -- or if we were doing rehearsals, anytime i didn't want to feel too much, or just again feel so like so like -- but if i didn't want to feel something or was feeling something gross and i wanted to get out of it, i would listen to bruce springsteen's "santa claus is comin' to town." so there was this one --i would be crying on, like, an apple box in the corner like -- ♪ santa clause is comin' to town ♪ ♪ you better watch out you better not cry you better not pout i'm telling you why ♪ ♪ santa claus is comin' to town ♪ >> jimmy: it makes you happy, yeah. you got to get up some herb albert on your playlist cause that makes you happy as well. >> god, i wish that just happened in life. where you just started singing -- >> jimmy: yeah, that does, it did just happen. >> it did, yeah, this is life. >> jimmy: this is life. >> i forgot. >> jimmy: i want to show a clip of "mother", not, again, not our mother, this is the movie "mother." here's jennifer lawerence in "mother." take a look at this. ♪ >> jimmy: what! that's what i'm talking about. i know! that's the whole movie. >> i wasn't paying attention. >> jimmy: don't pay attention. oh, my gosh. >> my brother is really sensitive to scary things. he can't watch the trailer. he was scared of oompa loompas. >> jimmy: people are freaked out, right now. so then -- so you're coming on the show. i'm so excited you're coming on, then we hear from matt. >> matt! >> jimmy: matt, that you want to challenge me to an ax throwing competition. now, what is this story? where did this start? have you ever done it? >> it's not much of a story. >> jimmy: no. just thought it'd be fun to do with me. >> it was -- i went to a bar with one of my brothers in kentucky called flying axes, and i threw axes and drank beer. >> jimmy: the bar is called -- the bar is throwing axes? >> called flying axes. >> jimmy: you drink and throw axes? >> yeah. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: what is wrong with people. >> yeah. >> jimmy: oh, my goodness. i can't believe you did that. >> on second thought, it should be more like a tea or coffee place. >> jimmy: yeah -- beverages you just throw axes. >> but i had a lot of fun. and so i thought we would have fun. >> jimmy: when we come back i'm gonna do it. when we come back. >> i just really don't want you to win. [ light laughter ] i don't want that. >> jimmy: oh, my god that character. i just don't want you to win. >> i don't' have any money but can i just have it? >> jimmy: you were like waiting for me to say something. i'm going to win, yeah. >> jimmy: when we come back jennifer and i are having an axe throwing competition. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ when you don't get enough sleep, and your body aches, you're not yourself. tylenol® pm relieves pain and helps you fall fast asleep and stay asleep. we give you a better night, you're a better you all day. and for your daytime pain relief, try tylenol® extra strength. i look back on my life and i know what it was for. what if i struggled... what if i sacrificed... and what if i swore i'd succeed... so you could wake up one day with the choice to be anything you wanted. well then, my great granddaughter... it would all be worth it. directv has been rated #1 in customer satisfaction over cable for 17 years running. but some people still like cable. just like some people like... ...banging their head on a low ceiling. drinking spoiled milk. camping in poison ivy. getting a paper cut. and having their arm trapped in a vending machine. but for everyone else, there's directv. for #1 rated customer satisfaction over cable. switch to directv. call 1-800-directv. it all started when sophia stopped into marshalls and found a mug for surprisingly little green. she paired that with some succulents. and suddenly something clicked. that surprise led to a stylish wood mirror, soothing lavender oils, a party llama... or is that an alpaca? super soft towels, and an enchanting vase that magically tied it all together. she arranged it all into the greatest guest bathroom ever. did sophia expect to get so much bang for so few bucks? no. but great things happen when you choose surprise. marshalls. your surprise is waiting. bwea whole new place that'swe whenlookin' to get scared! (laughter) now halloween time is in dineyland and disney california adventure parks! i'm lucky to get through a shift without a disaster. my bargain detergent couldn't keep up. so, i switched to tide pods. they're super concentrated, so i get a better clean. number one trusted. number one awarded. it's got to be tide ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back, everybody! we are hanging out with jennifer lawerence. [ cheers and applause ] her new movie "mother" is in theatres on friday. jennifer, you were telling about how recently you tried axe throwing for the first time. you challenged me to a little competition. and i don't know why, but i said, "yes." so we're going to take turns throwing axes at that target which we found in the old "tonight show" prop room. [ light laughter ] ten points for the hat, five for the body, two for the legs, and uno, as the french say the hands. [ light laughter ] we'll throw three axes each most points at the end is the winner. i will take the first throw. stand back. [ cheers and applause ] [ drumroll ] >> jimmy: here comes daddy! [ audience oohs ] [ cowbell ] [ light laughter ] no, stop, hey! put that thing down. oh, my -- >> do i go now? >> jimmy: we just killed the stage manager. okay, don't worry about it, it's fine. it's totally fine. jennifer, you go. [ drumroll ] >> ha! [ cowbell ] >> jimmy: gosh. [ drumroll ] >> hey jimmy, i just remembered something. no! [ cheers ] >> jimmy: wait a minute, stop, stop, stop, stop. >> what? >> jimmy: stop, do you take that off? >> what? we have to take that off? >> jimmy: make sure -- [ laughter ] got a lot of wood there. [ laughter ] [ cowbell ] make sure you go for the -- the hat. [ cheers ] [ audience oohs ] >> ugh. >> jimmy: do i get any points for that? >> i feel like maybe i should keep throwing until i win. i don't know, am i that thinks that? >> jimmy: it's right in the middle right there. [ cheers and applause ] [ drumroll ] [ audience oohs ] >> oh, my god! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: c'mon. >> get away. oh! >> jimmy: oh, my goodness. >> oh, my god! [ drumroll ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: there we go. i win, the champion! ♪ >> oh, oh, god. >> jimmy: stop, stop, stop. jennifer lawrence, everybody. "mother" is in theatres -- jennifer, stop. on friday. pedro pascal joins us after the break. come on back, everybody. 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[ laughter and applause ] our next guest is a great actor who you know from "game of thrones." you can currently see him on "narcos." the third season is now available on netflix. and starting september 22nd, you can see him in the new movie "kingsman: the golden circle." everyone, please welcome pedro pascal. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: pedro, welcome. thank for you coming on the show, i appreciate it. >> how could you visually do that? >> jimmy: i have no -- i know. i know. i'm sorry -- i couldn't -- yeah, i know -- i'm just -- >> if they don't edit it out, he threw an axe at somebody's balls. >> jimmy: oh, no, yeah, thank you, thank you. [ laughter ] at least they know -- thank you very much. did you get -- yeah. did you get a chance to say hi to jennifer backstage? >> i didn't get a chance to say hi to her, but i do owe her a a thank you. >> jimmy: yeah, no, what -- what is the story here? >> she kept me from getting kicked out of a u2 concert. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: she is really fun. so what happened? >> she's very sweet. we -- i got invited to see the "joshua tree" concert. david and dan, writers of "game of thrones" invited me to the concert. and somehow they were cool enough to get into this room where amazing people like jennifer lawrence were hanging. so i go and i -- i'm such an idiot. and -- i go -- and i have a a drink, i have my beer. and like she's having a a conversation and i just go -- and i just like, you know, sitting next to her like this basically. and then she finally -- she just -- and so she's like -- she turns to me -- yeah. >> jimmy: yeah. >> basically. >> jimmy: she's like being -- >> she had a moment. there was a moment where she didn't have anybody to talk to and she was like, "'narcos,' right?" [ light laughter ] and i was like -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: fat albert dancing. yeah, exactly, yeah. i love it. yeah, she's -- >> so we chatted and we talked about "narcos." >> jimmy: oh, my god. that's ridic -- your voice, it just went totally a different octave right there. >> yes, it did. and then, the show started and we got moved around. and there was like a special, special, special place to see the show and we thought if we like lingered around the security person that they would let us in. and they -- we didn't. we didn't have the green bracelet or the pink one or whatever the hell it was. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and they wouldn't let us in. and -- and she was just like, "oh, he's" -- she was in there. she was in the special, special place. >> jimmy: yeah. >> she's like, "they're with us." >> jimmy: hey. wow, see that's a buddy to have, jennifer lawrence. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you, jennifer! >> jimmy: she's the best. i wanna -- let's talk about "narcos," 'cause it's back, season 3. you say this -- you think this is the best season yet. >> i kind of do think it is the best season -- >> jimmy: you do? >> yeah. >> jimmy: what's happening? >> i know everyone's going to miss pablo escobar, wagner moura is amazing. he's been on your show. he's incredible. >> jimmy: he's fantastic. >> we go up to the cali cartel -- people know less about them, but the fact is, is if they were more powerful, they had more money. they owned the society that they were implemented into -- that they were hidden in, really. they were in everyone's pocket, so they're kind of like an impossible enemy to take down as far as the dea is concerned. i mean, they owned everybody. and they took over miami, they took over new york, they started getting over to asia. they were the richest cocaine drug kingpins on the planet. >> jimmy: i mean, i think -- the thing that i like about it is that you can get -- it's not like a movie where you just get in and get -- 'cause you really get into these characters while they figure that stuff out. >> yeah. >> jimmy: it's scary too. >> binge it -- it's -- it's -- it's a good one. i'm proud of it. >> jimmy: i will, i'll binge it. yeah, i'll binge it. let's talk about "kingsman" now. >> okay. >> jimmy: "the golden circle." >> yeah. >> jimmy: here you are, amazing cast -- colin firth, channing tatum, julianne moore, jeff bridges, halle berry -- >> i think it's just really brave of fox to make a big -- you know, to do a - - make a a sequel with a bunch of nobodies. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: thank you, that's really good, yeah. >> you know? >> jimmy: it's great, it's fast, it's funny. there's a lot of high-tech weaponry and things like that in this "kingsman" thing. and then, your weapon is not a a high-tech. you have a lasso -- >> and a -- and a whip. i get primitive. >> jimmy: yeah, you have a whip and a lasso. were you -- >> i have a whip and a lasso, yeah. >> jimmy: was it cgi'ed in the movie? >> well, okay, i was -- i was really bad at the lasso. >> jimmy: okay. [ light laughter ] you're just going to say it? >> i was -- i sucked at it. >> jimmy: okay. >> can i say that on -- what we're on right now? >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: please, we just threw an axe at a man's crotch. >> so basically -- so like the lasso i just had to stand there and just be like -- you know. [ laughter ] you know. [ cheers ] that was -- that was -- >> jimmy: so it was a fake rope -- >> yeah. >> jimmy: that you had to do that. >> i mean, i had rope that like no longer continued past my thumb. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: you were basically -- basically -- >> the director's going to kill me. he's going to be like -- >> jimmy: i could have done -- i could have done, yeah. so you had to do that, how many takes did you have to do of that? >> i had to do it for like four months. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: that's pretty -- that -- that's soul crushing -- >> yeah, right. >> jimmy: but, you know, you did it and it looks so, so great. but then, you -- the lasso -- >> i caught a couple of chairs. [ light laughter ] pulled them in. >> jimmy: so the lasso's one thing, the whip, you kind of mastered the whip. >> i got it well, i mean, i -- >> jimmy: you got the whip crack. >> i -- i -- i feel -- i felt more confident with the whip. it -- i enjoyed it more. >> jimmy: yeah, see i'm more comfortable with the nae-nae, but you do the whip and that's -- [ laughter ] [ rim shot ] thank you, thank you, questlove, thank you, thank you. >> you're -- you're -- you're pretty good with an axe. >> jimmy: yeah, i appreciate that. but, we happen to have -- >> oh, gosh. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: a real -- a real one. wait, wait, wait, if you're to -- if you're going to do anything, you have to put these on. >> no, i'll keep these. >> jimmy: okay. yeah. all right, then, i'll put these on. >> yeah, you put those on. >> jimmy: whatever's safer for you. where are you going to whip? >> i'll go over here. oh, my god, what is this like -- what are -- what if this is one of the moments i look back on for the rest of my life as like -- that i never came back from. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, no, this is going to be great. [ whip crack ] [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ whip crack ] [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: dude just stop -- just stop that right now! put it down, put it down or i'll get security. security, get that thing out of his hand -- dude respect, respect, respect. >> it's addictive. >> jimmy: can we see that? can we see that in slow motion? >> that was nice. [ whip crack ] >> jimmy: you all right? all right, we don't have to see that in slow motion. don't have to see everything in slow motion. i've never dealt with it -- that was -- all right, i want to show everyone a clip, yeah, yeah. i want to show everyone a clip from the movie. here's pedro pascal in "kingsman: the golden circle." take a look at this. [ cheers and applause ] >> that's not what i call a a kentucky welcome. ♪ manners maketh man. let me translate that for you. [ whip cracking ] ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: pedro pascal, everybody. "kingsman: the golden circle" is in theaters and imax september 22nd. we'll be right back with a a performance from patti smith. come on back, everybody. 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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ i was dreaming in my dreaming of an aspect bright and fair ♪ ♪ and my sleeping it was broken but my dream it lingered near ♪ ♪ in the form of shining valleys where the pure air recognized ♪ ♪ and my senses are newly opened i awakened to the cry ♪ ♪ that the people have the power to redeem the work of fools ♪ ♪ upon the meek the graces shower it's decreed the people rule ♪ ♪ the people have the power believe it the people have the power make it so ♪ ♪ the people have the power the people have the power ♪ ♪ ♪ where there were deserts i saw fountains and like cream the waters rise ♪ ♪ and we strolled there together with none to laugh or criticize ♪ ♪ and the leopard and the lamb lay together truly bound ♪ ♪ well i was hoping in my hoping to recall what i had found ♪ ♪ i was dreaming in my dreaming god knows a purer view ♪ ♪ as i surrender into my sleeping i commit my dream to you ♪ ♪ the people have the power to dream the people have the power to vote ♪ ♪ the people have the power to strike the people have the power to live ♪ ♪ the power to dream to rule to wrestle the world from fools ♪ ♪ it's decreed the people rule it's decreed the people rule listen ♪ ♪ i believe everything we dream can come to pass through our union ♪ ♪ we can turn the world around we can turn the earth's revolution ♪ ♪ we have the power people have the power people have the power the people have the power ♪ ♪ don't forget it use your voice ♪ ♪ thank you. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, my goodness. thank you so much. thank you so much. thank you, thank you very much. i love you. thank you so much. patti smith right there. jackson smith, jesse paris smith, tony shanahan. catch them in central park on thursday. we'll be right back, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ dilike, outside dirt,. that's not a bad thing. also, it comes off. inside dirt, yeah. that's way different. but now there's a more powerful chevron with techron. yeah. it has even more cleaning power to clean up deposits left by low quality gas. and cleaning up deposits restores lost gas mileage. it's legit. now with more cleaning power. chevron with techron. care for your car. nice hat! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: my thanks to jennifer lawrence, pedro pascal, patti smith once again! [ cheers and applause ] herb alpert. [ cheers and applause ] and the roots from philadelphia, pennsylvania. the roots right there. [ cheers and applause ] stay tuned for "late night with seth meyers." thank you for watching. have a great night. i hope to see you tomorrow. thank you, bye-bye. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- emma roberts. chat and music from father john misty. featuring the 8g band with elaine bradley. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, se meyers. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: good evening. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] great to hear. absolutely fantastic to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. hillary clinton's new book titled "what happened" was released today as was putin's new book "me." [ laughter ]

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