Transcripts For KNTV The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon 20170119

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and featuring the legendary roots crew. >> questlove: 605! south dakota! >> steve: and now, here he is, jimmy fallon! ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, hey, welcome, everybody. thank you very much. welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome to "the tonight show." this is it. [ cheers and applause ] this is the show you want to be at. the show you want to watch. we got a big show tonight. i'm your host, jimmy fallon. guys, we have james mcavoy on the show tonight. [ cheers and applause ] he stars in the new movie, "split", which is about a man with 24 different personalities. as opposed to the other way to see a guy deal with over 20 crazy personalities, watching an episode of "the bachelor." [ light laughter ] that's another way you can do it. it actually was pretty chilly here today in new york. 38 degrees. coincidentally, 38 degrees is a a 98 degrees cover band that also turned down performing at trump's inauguration. [ laughter and applause ] weird coincidence. this is very interesting. it's reported that donald trump will use two bibles when he takes the oath of office. when asked why, he said, "in case my hand burns through the first one." [ laughter and applause ] what's he talking about? >> steve: what? >> jimmy: meanwhile, donald trump tweeted a photo of himself saying, quote, "writing my inaugural address at the winter white house mar-a-lago three weeks ago. looking forward to friday. #inauguration" can we zoom in on that photo? [ light laughter ] trump looks like he's taking names for tables at the cheesecake factory. [ laughter and applause ] [ trump impression ] "table for six? it's going to be at least 45 minutes. nothing i can do. take this buzzy thing. when it buzzes, you" -- [ light laughter ] i read that the marriott marquee in washington, d.c. has a $75,000 inauguration package that includes 24-hour champagne service. people said, "who needs to drink through the whole inauguration?" then hillary was like, "stop talking and pour." [ laughter and applause ] "come on, let's go." did you hear this? after he's sworn in on friday, donald trump said he's actually taking the weekend off. [ light laughter ] then obama said, "donald, i think you're looking at my schedule. [ laughter and applause ] you're president, like, all the time." this is pretty crazy, guys. scientists recently discovered that a certain kind of female shark has developed the ability to have babies by herself without a male. so good news, everybody, this summer male sharks are going to be even angrier. >> steve: wow. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: angrier than ever. and finally, i thought this was pretty funny. this is great. did you see this yet, higgins? someone posted a picture of the new belle doll from "beauty and the beast." you know, you can buy the doll, kind of like a barbie doll thing. it is going viral, because people think it looks more like justin bieber than -- [ light laughter ] than emma watson. but wait -- take a look at this thing. zoom in. [ laughter ] the doll's designer was like -- ♪ is it too late now to say sorry ♪ [ laughter and applause ] we have a great show tonight. give it up for the roots! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that is my man nick valensi of the strokes sitting in with the roots! [ cheers and applause ] nick valensi. his new album is called "new skin" with his band crx. it's available now. dude, you're the best, you're a a stud. thanks for being here, pal, i love you. [ cheers and applause ] nick valensi. crx. guys, it's been a great week so far. there's more ahead. tomorrow night, the very funny aziz ansari will be here, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] he's hosting "saturday night live." >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: this weekend. it's going to be great, with big sean. that'll be good. plus, we have music from panic at the disco. [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: ooh. come on. >> jimmy: "death of a bachelor" is a good jam. then on friday we have james spader, who's always fun. [ cheers and applause ] and science expert kevin delaney. and, of course, thank you notes. it is going to be a good show. but first, we have a fantastic show tonight. he stars in the new thriller, "split." james mcavoy is here tonight. [ cheers and applause ] good movie. it's good. we're going to catch up with him. and james and i are going to compete in a fun new game that everyone is doing called "the ramen challenge." [ light laughter ] >> steve: really? everybody's doing it? >> jimmy: yeah. [ light laughter ] plus -- >> steve: sweeping the nation. >> jimmy: we love when this guy stops by. he is a terrific actor. man, he hit a homer in "the founder." >> steve: love him. >> jimmy: he hit a home run acting in this movie. he's in "the founder", it's about ray kroc, the founder of mcdonald's. sorry, i got something in my eye. [ light laughter ] >> steve: you did. >> jimmy: i'm gonna try to play it off. [ light laughter ] >> steve: nobody's gonna notice. wink. >> jimmy: i don't want you to think i'm winking, like he's not really here. >> steve: bing. bing! [ bing ] [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: he's really good. [ bing ] >> steve: lol. >> jimmy: no, no. he's in this movie, you'll love it. [ bing ] [ light laughter ] no, he really is, though. >> steve: fantastic. >> jimmy: i love him so much. he's funny but, man he just -- wait until you see how just great he is. nick offerman is dropping in. [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: come on. >> jimmy: and we have great, great, great music! you guys, kings of leon are here tonight! [ cheers and applause ] guys, we're always striving to get better here at "the tonight show." ♪ ♪ harder better faster stronger ♪ [ laughter and applause ] so before every show we put out a suggestion box for the audience, just to get some feedback about what you guys think of the show. things you'd like to see us do. that kind of stuff. so tonight, let's look inside the audience suggestion box. here we go. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ reach into the box the suggestion box ♪ >> jimmy: this first one is from justin wilson. >> steve: justin wilson? the cookin' cajun? >> jimmy: i gar-on-tee it. no, it's, sorry, jason wilson. >> steve: oh, jason wilson, his son. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: it says, "hey, jimmy, i haven't seen hashtag the panda in a while. where is he?" well, a lot of people don't know this, but hashtag the panda actually hibernates backstage during the winter. in fact, i think he's sleeping there now. can we check on hashtag? ♪ [ audience aws ] there he is. there he is. he's sleeping. ♪ he's moving around. i know. [ light laughter ] now, i know it is important that he gets his sleep, but this is "the tonight show." we have a show to put on tonight. we have a great crowd. we have a great audience. [ cheers and applause ] there's no time for rest! so, roots! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ [ cheers ] >> jimmy: wait a second. [ light laughter ] i think he might have dislocated -- >> steve: his foot? >> jimmy: he might have dislocated his foot. [ laughter ] it happens -- >> steve: put it back in the socket. >> jimmy: it happens from time to time. but his foot is fine. he re-fixes the break. this is what pandas do. they go right on -- >> steve: oh, he's hibernating again. >> jimmy: he's hibernating again. >> steve: wow. >> jimmy: he's sleeping. sleeping again. ♪ and i don't want to bother him. he just dislo -- [ honk ] [ light laughter ] his foot just got dislocated. i don't want to do this to him. i really don't. but again, we have a great crowd. it's cold outside. they waited a long time. [ cheers and applause ] roots, maybe just one more time. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ [ light laughter ] what is he doing? one more time. come on. ♪ ♪ [ cheers ] he's still awake. he's still awake. he doesn't -- he doesn't want to -- ♪ ♪ ♪ [ light laughter ] all right. let's try another suggestion. this one is from stephen -- >> steve: stephen what? >> jimmy: stephen song. >> steve: stephen song. >> jimmy: said, "hey, jimmy, i've been loving the new season 'the bachelor' so far, but i wish everyone on the show was a a little more sophisticated. anything you can do about that?" well, i agree. and i think the only way to fix that is by re-voicing the show so that everyone has a british accent. let's take a look. [ english accent ] >> i'm not calling you an [ bleep ]hole. >> okay. >> but i'm attracted to [ bleep ]holes. >> oh, okay. >> because they just speak their mind and they're open. >> hopefully, overall, blunt and respectful. yeah, i've been called that word sometimes. >> when i feel something, i feel something with my whole heart. [ light laughter ] i wear my heart on my sleeve and -- i feel so much. like if i like you, i want to be like, "oh, god, i like you." you know what i mean? >> i like that. i just love dolphins. [ light laughter ] >> i keep thinking it's a a shark. >> no, it is a dolphin cartoon. >> i'm just like the shark lady. >> i was going to wear a red dress, too. thank god i didn't. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: much better. >> steve: much better. super classy. >> jimmy: "hey, jimmy, this time of year i love nothing more than a big old stack of firewood. what about you?" [ light laughter ] >> steve: it's the same toddy. >> jimmy: it's a great suggestion, by the way. [ light laughter ] suggestion box. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: i do, i do. i love a stack of firewood. but i know someone here tonight who loves it just a little bit more. so here now to read a heartfelt poem to firewood, please welcome nick offerman. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you look very cozy, nick. >> i am. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: whatever you're ready, take it away. ♪ >> firewood, oh firewood. you are my one true friend. i love to chop you in my yard and stack you, end to end. up and down, and up again, i swing my trusty axe. splitting each piece right in half with the sound of my mighty thwacks. and when that pile gets high enough, i'll shed a single tear. for there is no wood left to chop, yet i am still right here. [ light laughter ] ♪ i'll bring that wood inside my house, beside the fireplace. and build a fire so damn hot, it'll singe the brows right off your face. firewood, oh firewood. today you've served me well. i'll crack open a cold beer, and i'll see all you sons of bitches in hell. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: nick, that is beautiful. that was -- that was beautiful. thank you very much. nick offerman. thank you. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> steve: beautiful. >> jimmy: he did peace on the way out. >> steve: touching. touching. >> jimmy: it was touching. this one's from melissa gilbert. >> steve: gilbert? from "little house on the prairie"? >> jimmy: monique gilbert. >> steve: oh, monique gilbert. >> jimmy: "hey, jimmy, i love the roots' opening theme song for show, but i feel like it could use some lyrics. any way you could do that?" it's funny you should say that, because there is actually a guy online named erik helwig who goes by the youtube name "hot dad." and he writes original theme songs to existing tv shows. no one has asked him to do this, but he does it. they're really fun. well, we asked him to do one for our show and i think it turned out pretty great. here's our theme song with lyrics put to it. take a look. ♪ ♪ welcome to "the tonight show" starring jimmy fallon ♪ ♪ he's the host of the show ♪ ♪ bring us the jokes you want to ♪ crack up all night crack up all night ♪ ♪ bring us the roots we want the music and light music and light ♪ ♪ it's time for "the tonight show" time for "the tonight show" ♪ ♪ starring jimmy fallon hey, look, jimmy's here ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey, not bad. >> steve: must-see tv. >> jimmy: i like that. ♪ give us the jokes we want to crack up all night ♪ ♪ give us the roots that's so good. thank you "hot dad," aka, erik helwig. that was good. [ cheers and applause ] whole new theme song. that's fantastic. i'll just try one more from the old sug box. this one is from jo ann brockington. "hey, jimmy, last month you played a show called 'slap yo weave off,' by nellie "tiger" travis. i love the song so much. you should have her come out and sing it with the roots." i love that song, too. it's very catchy. if you haven't heard it, here it is. take a listen to this. ♪ ♪ i heard the talk that's been going 'round you after my man and it's all over town ♪ ♪ you ask for his number from a couple of his friends now what's up with that girl ♪ ♪ you know he's my man ♪ i'm gonna slap your weave off i'm gonna slap your weave off ♪ ♪ i'm gonna slap your weave off if you don't leave my man alone ♪ >> jimmy: that's good there. i mean, i love it. it is a catchy song. [ cheers and applause ] it is funny that you should bring up, because she happens to be in new york city. in fact, there she is with the roots. [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, here to perform her song "slap yo weave off", accompanied by the roots, nellie "tiger" travis! ♪ ♪ i heard the talk that's been going 'round you after my man and it's all over town ♪ ♪ asked for his number from a couple of his friends now what's up with that girl ♪ ♪ you know he's my man ♪ i'm gonna slap your weave off i'm gonna slap your weave off ♪ ♪ i'm gonna slap your weave off if you don't leave my man alone ♪ ♪ i'm gonna slap your weave off oh, yeah better leave it alone ♪ ♪ oh, yeah ♪ >> jimmy: oh! that's what i'm talking about! fantastic! give it up for nellie "tiger" travis and the roots, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] that is all the time we have for "audience suggestion box." stick around, we'll be right back with james mcavoy, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ lips can develop fine lines over time. lines? what lines? the chapstick total hydration collection. our advanced skin care formulas instantly smooth and transform your lips. chapstick. put your lips first. well? i love it. this piece is so you. i know, right? i saw it and i was just like "oh, i have to have it..." is it suede? it's suede. i love suede. state farm knows that every one those moments, there's one of these... well? i love it. this piece is so you. i know, right? i saw it and i was just like "i have to have it..." is it suede? it's suede. i love suede. that's why we're there, with renters insurance, when things go wrong... but also here, with a rewards credit card, to help life go right. state farm. it's called the women's march on washington. celebrities like beyonce ,madonna and katie perry will attend. ==reveal== and: the rest of the week is going to be wet. download our free app to track the weather in your neighborhood -- and access our live dopplar radar.. with the xfinity tv app, anything with a screen is a tv. stream 130 live channels, plus 40,000 on demand tv shows and movies, all on the go. you can even download from your x1 dvr and watch it offline. only xfinity gives you more to stream to any screen. download the xfinity tv app today. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you, nick valensi and the roots right there. guys, you know our first guest from his role as professor x in the blockbuster x-men films. he now stars in the brand new thriller "split," which is fantastic. it opens this friday. please welcome the very talented james mcavoy, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> it's really good, man. >> jimmy: thank you for coming back to see us. i always love seeing you. last time you were here you were bald. you shaved your head. >> i was. i had lost it all. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah. >> i went to ireland and i got surgery and they stuck it all back on there. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: exactly, yeah. you look good but you're lucky that you look good with a bald head. >> you know what? i miss it. i really miss it. and i'm kind of sad to have the hair again. i need to have hair because i'm more employable and i can play more parts. but i really love the simplicity getting up in the morning and just going, oh this is easy. plus, i saved quite a lot of money on shampoo. so that was very good. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. but then you just -- you don't have to do anything. you just kind of let -- but what about the medium stage? >> the difficult in-between stage? >> jimmy: yeah. >> well, it's difficult. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah. [ light laughter ] >> it's difficult. i'm getting a lot of sort of -- getting a lot of funny looks from the opposite sex, they really get into it. make your mind up. >> jimmy: i want to tell you about this. it's a picture of your band. i don't know if you remember this photo. you and your band mates. which one is you? is this here? >> yeah, that's me on bass. >> jimmy: yeah. where are you playing? is this a ship or something? [ laughter ] >> yeah. we go work on cruise liners in scotland. >> jimmy: this guy looks like me a little bit. >> he does. who is that? that's david kelly, and that is mark doyle. >> jimmy: this is your band in high school. >> that was my band in high school, yeah. >> jimmy: do you remember the name of the band? >> we never had a name. we just went by "the band" because we were that cool. >> jimmy: there is a band called the band. >> there is a band called the band? >> jimmy: yeah. >> oh man! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh my god. well how did you get -- what was your reaction with the ladies? >> the ladies? it wasn't that good. [ laughter ] there was one girl, and i can't recall if she was called lynn beaten or leann beaten. something beaten. she was beaten something. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, no, in a phone book. in a phone book was beaten something. >> and she kind of took me aside and made a really big point of letting me know that she found me really attractive when i was on stage, but when i was off stage it all disappeared. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: and i was like, then why would you say that to me? >> she giveth with one hand and she violently slappeth me in the face and take it away with the other, you know. >> jimmy: last time you were here it was right before the x-men film came out. gosh, was it a blockbuster. congratulations. >> thank you. >> jimmy: it was bigger than -- it's one of the biggest movies ever. congratulations. >> thank you. >> jimmy: is that exciting when it comes out? it's that big? >> yeah, they're fun. they're really, really fun. you get to go around and sort of tell the world about it, and see amazing places. you know what? this sounds sort of earnest and sort of actory, but the reward for me is getting to do the job. i am doing the job that i love to do and i am really lucky that i get to do it. yes, audiences coming to see the films are essential, but for me, i am rewarded when i get to do it. >> jimmy: yeah. but we were saying backstage, you said that how many fans you didn't realize how many fans would come out, "x-men" fans would come up and talk to you. you love -- and you go, oh my gosh. it's like, it is the biggest thing in the world but you met one fan who i think is fantastic. she makes balloon animals of you. >> she makes balloon x-men. >> jimmy: she makes balloon animal -- >> yeah, it gives me great comfort to know there is a a woman somewhere blowing into a little bag of rubber. [ laughter ] and then making me out of it. >> jimmy: and making you out of it. yeah, i guess so. but we've got some photos of her work. you guys are going to be blown away. it's fantastic. >> she's very talented. >> jimmy: she really is. here's you as professor x. [ laughter ] that's unbelievable. like how did she even figure that out? >> that's unbelievable is that i actually chose that lilac sweater myself. [ laughter ] no, she's amazing. i think she should do family albums for people. family portraits for people. >> jimmy: she should. let's talk about "split." >> okay. >> jimmy: it's getting great reviews. you are getting personally great reviews for this film. it is kind of -- it's m. knight who is just, you never know. there's always a tricky twist at the end. this time, it's tricky and twisty through the whole thing. >> yeah, no. when i first started reading it, i thought what is this? i was kind of confused immediately because he sets up the film as something that you wouldn't expect from him at all. then five minutes later you're into something completely different, five minutes from that you're into something completely different again. he just keeps you guessing the whole way, while entertaining you, making you laugh and making you very scared at the same time as well. >> jimmy: how many personalities do you actually play? >> the character that i play has 23. and there's another one sort of in the oven. and then i portray nine of them in this film. >> jimmy: gosh. was it tricky getting in and out of of these -- go like i'm this person, i'm this person? was it fun? >> it's fun. it was fun. i like doing my job. it was just, the tricky thing was -- you know, the thing with doing all the job all the time is that i had to do my job nine times instead of one time. you know, and that was tough. and plus, i only get paid one time as well. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh that's great. >> it's part of like the principal of the thing, you know? >> jimmy: one of the personalities ends up like capturing like these -- >> yeah. these three young girls that get captured by this man, they think. and they wake up and in a movie that you might think is "saw," for the first five minutes it feels like "saw," and then i come in as the man who captured them. and i'm not the man who captured them. i'm someone else who captured them. and film becomes something very different from what you originally think it is. >> jimmy: i want to show everyone a clip. here is the very scary james mcavoy in "split." take a look at this. >> don't touch that. >> i just want to see if it works. >> hey, what are you doing? don't touch those buttons. you are going to get us found out. >> hey, what up? what up? >> hello. >> who is this? [ yelling ] >> hello. hello. my name is casey cook. i'm being held in a basement. i've been abducted with two other girls. >> who the hell is this? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i mean, he's like having nightmares right now. >> it is very funny as well. i know it doesn't seem like that. it is also very scary and very funny at the same time. >> jimmy: congratulations on all the reviews and the film. >> thank you, thank you. >> jimmy: james mcavoy. [ cheers and applause ] "split" hits theaters this friday. when we come back, james and i are playing the ramen challenge. everybody's doing it. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ i'll have that goat cheese garden salad. that gentleman got the last one. sir, you give me that salad and i will pay for your movie and one snack box. can i keep the walnuts? sold. but i get to pick your movie. can i pick the genre? yes, but it has to be a comedy. a little cash back on the side. with the blue cash everyday card from american express, you get cash back on purchases with no annual fee. throw. it's more than cash back. it's backed by the service and security of american express. it's more than cash back. versus a lube strip. with a hydrating gel reservoir that gives you 40% less friction. it's designed like no other razor to protect from irritation. sorry, lube strip. schick hydro®. free your skin®. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ [joi want that role now.ay a 1930's cop, when i crave a turkey sandwich, i want to eat it now. [woman] john, i got your sandwich. [john] when my neck itches, i want to scratch it now. so when the irs owes me money, guess when i want it? 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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: here's how it works. our pal, that was so fast by the way, here -- our pal, chef david chang, and this place called "sun noodle" made us these special four-foot-long ramen noodles. >> they're four-foot-long? >> jimmy: yeah. their four feet long and their -- yes. >> oh. >> jimmy: this is -- there are six of them in this bowl. three for each of us. we each have three shots of sake. >> sake, eh? >> jimmy: you slurp your whole noodle. then you take a shot. >> wait, wait -- you what? [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: slurp -- now, you heard me. what it is, you slurp your noodle, do a shot, whoever finishes first, is the winner. the loser, has to put on whatever costume is in this mystery costume box -- and dance for -- >> getting kinkier and kinkier for this. >> jimmy: and dance for the audience. >> you can express yourself and be in the moment. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: yes, here. would you like a napkin? >> i would -- i'd definitely love a napkin. >> jimmy: let's get our a -- let's get our noodles in position. okay. [ light laughter ] >> noodle me this? >> jimmy: all right, ready for this now? here we go. [ talking over each other ] and it's also customary -- it's also customary -- >> to do what? >> jimmy: to lock eyes with your opponent the whole time. [ laughter ] >> so we have to -- we have to be -- have emotional noodle. >> jimmy: yeah, here we go. ready? three, two, one, slurp. [ cheers ] [ cheers and applause ] you can really slurp your noodles, my friend. [ laughter ] >> oh, yes. >> jimmy: that wasn't even -- that wasn't even close. all right. let's see what -- i get the losing prize, what is in the mystery costume box here. [ cheers ] "sorry you lost. as a consolation prize you get to put on this mario costume, and dance to the super mario brothers theme song." ♪ this is like -- this is in your kinky dreams. [ laughter ] >> your thick noodles are stuck in my throat. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: here you go here. all right, very nice. i'm so bummed out. [ light laughter ] bruce, can we get some music? ♪ [ cheers ] ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: james mcavoy everybody. nick offerman joins us after the break. stick around! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] when you're close to the people you love, does psoriasis ever get in the way of a touching moment? if you have moderate to severe psoriasis, you can embrace the chance of completely clear skin with taltz. taltz is proven to give you a chance at completely clear skin. with taltz, up to 90% of patients had a significant improvement of their psoriasis plaques. in fact, 4 out of 10 even achieved completely clear skin. do not use if you are allergic to taltz. before starting you should be checked for tuberculosis. taltz may increase your risk of infections and lower your ability to fight them. tell your doctor if you are being treated for an infection or have symptoms. or if you have received a vaccine or plan to. inflammatory bowel disease can happen with taltz. including worsening of symptoms. serious allergic reactions can occur. now's your chance at completely clear skin. just ask your doctor about taltz. now's your chance at completely clear skin. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ [beeping] ♪ the 2017 rav4 with toyota safety sense, standard. toyota. let's go places. there are now twice as many four-dollar value menu items. that's right, america. we just created the greatest value menu in the world. boom. ♪ i'm at higher risktwice as likfor depression.troke. i'm 26% more likely to develop an irregular heartbeat. i have a 65% higher chance of developing diabetes. no matter who we are, these diseases can be managed or prevented when caught early on. because with better research, the right medicine, and with doctors who help keep me healthy to begin with, we will thrive. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest is a a fantastic actor. he stars alongside michael keaton in the new movie "the founder", which is in select theaters now. opens nationwide friday. everyone, please welcome nick offerman. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: that's how you do it. why even ask, why even try? that's how you do it. welcome back to the show. >> i didn't mean to do that. it was those guys. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, they do it. they're infectious, man. thank you for coming out earlier and doing that nice poem about firewood. i appreciate you doing that. >> thank you, it was a a beautiful sentiment. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: hey, you went to the white house christmas party, this past year, with your wife. how was that? >> it was crazy. i mean, it, you know -- it was so nice at the end of this amazing time with -- with the obamas in the white house. we -- we had met the first lady, 'cause i did -- megan and i both did a exercise video with her, that was a little bit funny. [ light laughter ] and then, to finally meet the president. and megan set me up accidentally, so beautifully, because she said hi to him and gave him a hug. and then he shook my hand, and she kind of grabbed him to -- to say, listen. please, don't go? and -- [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah. >> and while they were having that exchange, she continued the handshake and transferred a a large amount of mojo -- up this arm. >> jimmy: wow. >> you just saw the effect of it. >> jimmy: yeah, that -- that's what happens. >> he gave -- he gave me some moves. >> jimmy: that is what happens. and i -- i saw that -- so your saying you did this exercise video with the first lady. this is the first time meeting the first lady? >> it was, yeah. i met her -- they had me dress up in each decade of exercise gear. so while dressed as olivia newton john from the '80s, i met the first lady. [ laughter ] oh, we have a photo. >> jimmy: yeah, and there you go. [ laughter ] that's how you meet the first lady, for the first time. >> she was really polite. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: she's very polite. >> yeah. >> jimmy: now this is not -- i did not plan this, or talk to you beforehand. i never met you before, is that correct? >> yeah, no. >> we've been on the show. >> no, come on jeff. >> 20 times. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: but look at this, this is the first time i met the first lady. i did something for her, let's move campaign. and i, too, was in spandex. [ laughter ] this is -- what are we doing? [ cheers and applause ] why is this the first time -- >> not -- not what are we doing, what is she trying to do to us? [ laughter ] we have been unmanned. >> jimmy: yeah. but i love that you come out and dance and you -- you break dance on our show before. you've always had fun with us. and i actually -- we talked to your mom. we got her to send us some footage of you as a child. eight millimeter footage, so there's no sound on it. but i just want to -- look at young nick offerman and look at the -- look at the, the dancing -- hey! [ laughter ] ooh, muscles! what's up, baby! what? magic! >> if i wasn't destined for showbiz. [ laughter ] look at these moves! uh, hilarious frisbee hat. >> jimmy: and then -- oh, oh zombie guy! i love it. [ cheers and applause ] yeah, what was that? was that like a fun party or? >> that was -- it was a new thing. somebody was rolling an eight millimeter camera. that was our fishing cabin in minnesota. and i heard a camera rolling. i mean, i had no idea i was going to go into showbiz at the time. and i was like, camera? you want to get a load of this. [ light laughter ] what's that saying? get some of this. >> jimmy: you're a stud right there. >> yeah. >> jimmy: well, i mean, gosh, your -- they got to be proud of you, for what you've done. >> i hope so. 'cause can't get them on the phone though. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: after the show taped, mom, if you're watching, give 'em a call. yeah. >> mom -- mommy? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: "mommy." nick, you're so good in this film. "the founder." you guys are going to go nuts. i didn't know anything -- of course, i love mcdonald's. i eat mcdonald's my whole life. it is just part of everyone's, i mean -- >> it is an institution. >> jimmy: it totally is. [ light laughter ] but i remember going to my mcdonald's in saugerties, new york, and seeing a -- a a plaque of -- that says ray kroc. and i go, oh, ray krok. that's the guy that invented mcdonald's. >> yeah -- >> jimmy: and i never -- it's never said anything about the mcdonald brothers. >> no. i mean that was -- that was ray kroc's propaganda. like he, he -- and that's what the -- that's what the movie's about. it will blow your mind, when you find out how mcdonald's began. because he buried it and was like, it was my idea. i thought all this up. thank you for your money, and i'm putting more chemicals in your burgers. you know, like -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: but, yeah. it tastes good though. but -- >> they're -- they're tasty [ bleep ] chemicals. >> jimmy: they're tasty chemicals. [ laughter ] >> they know what they're doing. >> jimmy: this is in -- it blew my mind. michael keaton, or course, is perfect to play this 'cause he's so likable. >> he's amazing in this movie! >> jimmy: he's so likable. and of course your like, you and is it -- john carroll lynch? >> john carroll lynch. >> jimmy: again, both of you guys are just phenomenal. >> these two hard working guys, had more like a drive-in diner, and they noticed that they were selling 87% of their sales was hamburgers, fries and soft drinks. so they got rid of 42 other menu items and just put that on the menu. and then they said, okay, now how can we deliver the food in 30 seconds instead of 30 minutes. and so they broke down and they designed this fast food kitchen, just like henry ford designed the -- the assembly line. >> jimmy: it is phenomenal to watch. and i want to show everyone a a clip. here's nick offerman, who's playing dick mcdonald -- >> dick mcdonald. >> jimmy: and -- and talking to michael keaton, who's playing ray kroc, who is the founder. take a look at this. >> mcdonald's. >> just found a way to save you, me and all our owner/operators literally hundreds of dollars a year in electrical cost. >> and what would that be? >> two words. powdered milkshake. i've telling you i came across a remarkable product called insta-mix. like i say, it's a powdered milk shake. it's a fraction of the cost of ice cream, and requires no refrigeration. >> great. >> i tell you, i've tried it myself. it tastes just like the real thing. it's delicious. comes in chocolate, comes in vanilla. me, i'm a vanilla man. >> ray, we have no interest in milkshake that contains no milk. why don't we add saw dust to the hamburgers while were at it? frozen french fries? >> you don't want to save a a bundle? >> not like that. >> were talking about the same great taste, same great taste, while boosting the bottom line. >> it's called a milkshake, ray. real milk. now and forever. >> jimmy: that's what i'm talking about! [ cheers and applause ] and the haircut looks good on you, too buddy. you can pull that off. great acting job. nick offerman, "the founder", is in select theaters now, nationwide friday. we'll be right back with a a performance from kings of leon. stick around ladies and gentlemen. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ taking a holiday in britain, are ya doll? well, the only place you need go... london's got the best of everything. cornwall's got the best of everything. sport sport nightlife nightlife (both) fashion adventure i'm tellin' ya, britain is the only place you really need go. expedia. everything you need to travel britain better. um, i can't have happen what happened (♪)t time... ahem... here's my card. i'm sure you know your profits are down 8%. so, just let me know if you want to change that. ♪ i believe in you! break through!, break through! i bet you a buck hek catches this salt shaker.u. you're on. hey chuck! you owe me a buck. you can't always see what's coming... ...but when you choose unitedhealthcare, finding an in-network doctor is easy. unitedhealthcare now here this is calleden "the weeping cobra." feel the earth? good. then there is venom in your eyes! ahh! ahhh! ahhhh! i need a better yoga class. something a little more... balanced? that would be great. less tormented? please. well... i'm not super into yoga, but yea, we know just the place. [sobbing]: oh, gail! i miss you so much. no matter what you need or when you need it, check yelp first. enjoy your phone! you too. all right, be cool. you got the amazing new iphone 7 on the house by switching to at&t... what??.... aand you got unlimited data because you have directv?? (laughs to self in disbelief) okay, just a few more steps... door! it's cool! get the iphone 7 on us and unlimited data when you switch to at&t and have directv. that ride share? you actually rode here on the cloud. did not feel like a cloud... that driverless car? i have seen it all. intel's driving...the future! traffic lights, street lamps. business runs on the cloud... and the cloud runs on intel. ♪ i wonder what the other 2% runs on...(car horn) cascara's the cherry that's on the outside of the bean. it's now being used as a sweetener. it's like a very subtle sweetness into your coffee. it's just this like cup of deliciousness. ♪ you have to brave to8 hours of testingcation, in the 11 most crucial areas of management accounting. only 50% will pass. done. so if you're one of them, feel free to brag. you've earned it. oh yeah. i want that. who's next? i'm next. after her. after him. the cma certification. you've got to earn it. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our musical guest tonight is a multi-platinum grammy-winning band who will play a sold-out show at madison square garden this friday. that's what i'm talking about. [ cheers and applause ] performing "reverend" off their album "walls", please welcome back kings of leon. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ on the lam cut down in the middle of the night caught in a trap ♪ ♪ cursed by the crown of the wandering man who was never coming back ♪ ♪ stuck on the line spending all of his time with his back to the throne ♪ ♪ with the flash of the round everybody in town said leave it alone ♪ ♪ just like the reverend like the reverend on the radio ♪ ♪ your heart will never say so your heart will never let it go ♪ ♪ just like the reverend like the reverend on the radio ♪ ♪ my heart will never say so my heart will never let it go ♪ ♪ i got caught in the middle of a hurricane fight facing the ground ♪ ♪ beast of the wild with a porcelain smile as it passes around ♪ ♪ the truth in disguise from the billowing eyes isn't working on me ♪ ♪ don't you think you gotta give give me something i want give me something i need ♪ ♪ just like the reverend like the reverend on the radio ♪ ♪ your heart will never say so your heart will never let it go ♪ ♪ just like the reverend like the reverend on the radio ♪ ♪ my heart will never say so my heart will never let you go ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ just like the reverend like the reverend on the radio ♪ ♪ your heart will never say so your heart will never let it go ♪ ♪ just like the reverend like the reverend on the radio ♪ ♪ my heart will never say so my heart will never let you go ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ just like the reverend like the reverend on the radio ♪ ♪ my heart will never say so and my heart will never let you go ♪ ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that sounds so good! sounds so good! kings of leon! [ cheers and applause ] catch them on tour now! we'll be right back, ladies and gentlemen. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ take one. directv now. stream all your entertainment! anywhere! anytime! can we lose the 'all'. there's no cbs and we don't have a ton of sports. anywhere, any... let's lose the 'anywhere, anytime' too. you can't download on-the-go, there's no dvr, yada yada yada. stream some stuff! somewhere! sometimes! you totally nailed that buddy. simple. don't let directv now limit your entertainment. only xfinity gives you more to stream to any screen. heavy, labored breathing heavy, labored breathing coughing breathing through oxygen mask breathing through oxygen mask breathing through oxygen mask breathing through oxygen mask covered california. it's more than just health care. it's life care. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: my thanks to james mcavoy, nick offerman, kings of leon! [ cheers and applause ] nick valensi! [ cheers and applause ] and the roots right there from philadelphia, pennsylvania, ladies and gentlemen. [ cheers and applause ] stay tuned for "late night with seth meyers." thanks for watching. have a great night. i hope to see you tomorrow. bye-bye, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york it's late night with seth meyers. tonight, michael keaton. star of "bones," actress emily deschanel. comedian neal brennan. featuring the 8g band with leah shapiro. ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. >> seth: good evening. i'm seth meyers this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] fantastic to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. president obama today held the final press conference of his presidency and ended by telling americans "good luck." [ light laughter ] okay, but how did he say it? did he say it like mission control says it to an astronaut? like "good luck?" or like you say it to your buddy leaving the bar with his girlfriend who's crying and carrying hho

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