Transcripts For COM The Nightly Show With Larry Wilmore 2015

Transcripts For COM The Nightly Show With Larry Wilmore 20151022



you know what i'm talking about? a lot of you may not know what black-reacted is. it's basically a sudden uncontrollable physical response often involving running or falling over to magic, the owe quality or dope [bleep] [bleep]. that's pretty much what it is. i'll give an example. i'll give an example. he's black-reacting to magician david blain. open it. >> larry: black-reacting. but it wasn't just me who black-reacted to the star wars trailer. one of the stars of star wars himself black-reacted by watching himself in the trailer. >> oh! what! what! what! >> larry: how awesome was that? right? that was awesome. black-reacting. is anyone else black-reacting to the star wars or have random black-reacts send them to the show at #blackreact and you don't have to be black. it's more about the react than the black. it's time to do something that may cause the nra to black-react. we're going to nationally conversate about guns. good news for gun control advocates. congress is taking up a ban on assault weapons and universal background checks -- just kidding you guys. you should have seen you guys were like, what? you were going to black-react. you were going black-react. that's not happening. but there actually is some positive news. >> jurors final a store liable for the sale of gun used in shooting of milwaukee walkers. >> larry: you're saying that can be used according to the arms act passed in 2005 by president quickdraw mcgraw. you would be correct. so what did the store do that was so out of the ordinary. >> you're watching ian illegal. he's buying it for the man that was 18. too young for the purchase. >> larry: oh, it's on video. once again if we do more shooting with cameras maybe we'll have less shooting with noncameras. possibly. now, the gun store's forced to pay $5 million in damages because they sold guns used in a crime which if you're going to take the side of guns seems pretty unfair. especially when you look at a chart from the definitely real foundation for gun studies. they're the biggest percentage 42% of crimes says so right there. all right. let's be honest. that's what guns are for, right? actually i'm very happy this is the first step to what may lead to actual gun control legislation. we're just trying to stop bad things from happening and i'm trying to stay positive because maybe this is a sign things are getting better with guns. >> shocking findings from the washington post about a toddler-involved shooting. every year a toddler is shooting themselves or somebody else. >> larry: you have to be [bleep] kidding me? toddlers? i can't even -- you know, this story is too sad. i have too many emotions that aren't quite appropriate for a late-night comedy show otherwise i need the soundproof booth. give me a minute, everybody. hey everybody. hi, i'm mike yard. i'm sorry, larry just needs a few minutes in the nightly show despair soundproof booth. he had to use it last week when the dodgers lost. go mets. so you guys see that star wars trailer, did you check that out? that was awesome. did you see the brother black react though? that's hilarious. i can watch a movie of him reacting to stuff. and he's done. >> >> larry: hi, mike. >> hi, larry. >> larry: all right. whew. i had to get that out. what was i saying? oh, yeah. the washington post only counting shootings younger than three and a toddler shot his brother way with a loaded gun with a gun on the refrigerator. should we chalk this up to how did jeb exclamation point put it? >> stuff happens. >> larry: oh, yeah. i forgot. thanks for reminding me. or should we be concerned that according to the law center to prevent gun violence currently massachusetts is the only state that requires gun owners to keep all kinds of guns locked up. massachusetts, this is impressive i think i can forgive you for cheating your way to the super bowl. that's how impressed i am right new. i'm impressed with massachusetts. i tell you what, at the end of all this i have to ask one question for the nra, gun activists and anyone standing in the way of gun reforms, so what's next? whenever there's a mass shooting in america you say well, this wouldn't have happened if everyone had guns. by that rashale -- rationale we can give them to toddlers. maybe send them to gun-boree and learn songs like old mcdonald had a glock. if you're happy and you know it pop a cap. [applause] so what's next? would it be easier to pass toddler control. toddler background checks and the high capacity vaginas that keep pumping out toddlers. that's an easy one i know how much the gop loves to legislate women's vagina and just your cost of doing business in your america is a yes or no answer and the answer's not yet. we'll be right back. 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that's like buying a ribbed for your pleasure condom and then being upset you're being pleased by ribbing. that's what you paid for. here's some of the wealthiest concerns. not knowing if your friends are friends with you or your money. feeling isolated from the rest of society and the awkwardness over who should pay for dinner. as opposed to the awkwardness of wondering if you're even have dinner. hmm. okay. the concerns are real but it's not like the therapists are comparing the wealthy to other minority struggles except when they do. i'm not necessarily comparing it to what people of color have to go through but singling out the 1% is really making a value judgment about a particular group as a whole. necessarily -- no, putting necessarily doesn't help it's like saying i'm not racist but -- but nothing. you're racist, okay. here to talk about the phenomenon of rich guilt is one the richest people in the world gilroy leopold danforth vi and his therapist. what does rich guilt mean to you? >> when i bought the apartment i immediately evicted everyone who lived there. >> larry: why would you do that? >> my building. why they're living in my building makes no sense. i don't get that. and people yell at me for that, larry. >> larry: he's getting yelled at like a little boy in alabama who just wanted to learn. >> larry: guys, that's not the same thing at all. >> don't you think little black schoolchildren should have the same chance to go to the same school as everyone else, larry. >> larry: sure but that's a false equivalent. >> here's what you're not getting. being rich used to be great for yourself esteem. hi pappy had members of congress in his pocket and nobody made him feel like you were doing wrong. >> you're so mad. he's like a modern day rosa parks. >> that makes a lot of sense because i just bought a bus company. >> larry: guys, these are awful analogies. your lives have nothing to do with the poor person. have you it made. >> larry, true story here. >> larry: okay. >> i can't even go to africa and hunt and kill an endangered cat without writing a think piece about it on "huffpo." like what's the point of keeping africa around. >> larry: here we go. >> can i say something? >> larry: please. >> the internet has trapped him. it's like he's in a japanese internment camp. >> larry: no, you can use these analogies. it's nothing like a japanesin -- internment camp. >> larry: why don't you give your money away. >> i don't understand the question. >> he was born this way. >> it comes a lot of courage to come out of the close et as a rich person in 2015. >> larry: it's not like gay people coming out of the closet at all. >> to be fair i have a difficult time getting out of my closet just due to the tuxedo maze alone. >> gilroy leopold danfo ♪ they say that in life, we shouldn't sweat the small stuff. but when you're building a mercedes-benz, there really is no small stuff. every decision... every component... is an integral part of what makes the 2016 c-class one of our most sophisticated cars ever. because when you're setting a new benchmark for refinement, it is the small stuff... that makes the biggest impression. the 2016 c-class. see your authorized dealer for exceptional offers through mercedes-benz financial services. my siand mouthwash all the toothtime. i'm like, huh? 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absolutely. want to meet a car that can detect things before you can? yeah! meet the chevy equinox, with available forward collision alert. it can help warn you when you're approaching another vehicle too fast so you can take action. i need that. ford escape doesn't have that. aw, come on ford. love this vehicle. very smart car. this is really nice. >> larry: rachel feinstein. rachel. your new album drops this friday rapper joe budden and you can see him in steve jobs in theaters everywhere this friday actor jeff daniels. you can hash tack -- hash tag to nightly. there's analogies going around the lastest is the love therapist. one therapist compared bigotry to racism like there's bigotry towards rich people. it's hatin'. why do you think they're trying to get empathy. >> being rich is not a problem. if you have a problem it means you hurt. like you get sores from being rich. don't get like oh, i'm rich it hurts. very confusing. i'm not sure. >> larry: do you think americans hate rich people now? does it feel like that out there? >> i know 99% do. i just think they're jealous of being -- everybody loves to be an underdog and be a victim. get empathy when you're a victim. >> larry: they want to be a victim now? >> they want to be a victim. white people of tired of minorities being the victims. they're tired of it. they want to be a victim too. >> it's not fair. it's like they can have their delight and happiness and hot tubs at least they should get the empathy and sadness. >> you can't purchase empathy. >> larry: they're buying therapists. here's a quote often i use an analogy to people that coming out of the closet of being rich is like coming out of the closet when you're gay. mom and dad, i'm rich. what are you talking about? >> it's like i think i [bleep]ed too many models. no one feels sorry for you. >> that can be problematic not that i know. >> i understand. you'll be okay. >> larry: what can rich people learn from rappers. rappers know how to flaunt their wealth. they don't care. >> we have to teach some of these guys how to write a verse. >> larry: an freestyle examples? >> no, they have to pay me. >> some therapists are making serious money. >> if the check clears there's always money for something and maybe not in the form of therapy but people have been doing this throughout time. like rich people throughout time have been privileged. they usually brought some peasant worker around just to make them feel relatable. it's like in driving miss daisy, they always have someone around to remind me i'm sweet but don't stop shining my shoes. >> larry: it seems nazi germany seems to be the boutique analogy. the funniest one is ben carson -- this is true, guys. the washington post called him the biggest fan of nazi metaphors in politics. they used the nazi analogy like 13 times saying most people didn't agree with what hitler was doing. okay. exactly the same thing can happen in this country if we're not willing to stand up for what we believe in. >> i feel like he's crushing on hitler. he's acting like someone in love. he's thinking about him all the time, he's bringing up when nobody brought him up around him. he sees hitler everyone. i'm just saying, ben carson, get off hitler's [bleep]. >> it's more concerning to me there's probably a team of people instructing ben carson to speak this way. >> keep going, ben. >> like the analytics are showing a big spike when you mention hitler so let's just keep that up. >> i do feel like a lot of that rhetoric appeals to a certain paranoid loon and that's why the crazier things you say the more popularity you get. it's like i'm as insane as you and everybody's make bombs in their mother's basement comes out. i'm not accusing anyone of literally doing. i'm just saying sometimes when you say crazy [bleep] it excites people. >> the new normal is you can say anything. you don't have to back it up, you don't have to be accountable. you can say whatever the [bleep] you want. you can say it's hitler, nazi germany, obama is hitler, walk away and go let me see the news cycle. did i get a sound-byte. you don't have to be accountable. >> larry: i'm voting for you. >> it's just wrong. >> i agree. we should be able to say anything. i don't want the guy running for president to be able to say anything. i don't want to look at a debate and not not be held accountable for what he's saying. >> larry: you're right. ben carson compared obama care to slavery. somebody tell me name one thing about medical care for people that is like slavery? please. >> cotton. there was cotton in the field and there's cotton in the hospitals. >> larry: we'll be right back. 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(clicks) we love, love, chocolaty, creamy, with a little something extra. mmm deliciousness. cookies or almonds. yumminess. hershey's is mine, yours, our chocolate. covergdraw attention way to perfect point liner smudge with sponge-tip to create a smokin' kitten eye lash blast mascara adds an instant blast of volume add a pow to your brow! wow! from easy, breezy, beautiful covergirl >> larry: that's our show. i'd like to thanks our guests. stay tuned for at-midnight with chris hardwick everyone. >> from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with trevor noah. ( cheers and applause ) captioning sponsored by comedy central >> trevor: welcome to "the daily show." i'm trevor noah. my guest tonight, comedian and author, the world-champion judah friedlander is here, everybody! ( cheers and applause ) that's right. in our top story, though, last night, huge news coming out of canada. >> drake has released a video for his hit song "hot lin bling." ♪ used to call me on my cell phone when you need my love ♪ >> trevor: what the hell, drake. what the actual hell were you doing there? what are those moves? you're holding every single mixed race person back. do you know how hard we've worked to be called black, and you do this to us, drake? what are those ?iewfs what are you doing? i hope this was a joke. so last night was big-- big news for fans of canadian rappers, but it also had a little something for fans of obscure canadian

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