now for over 30 years. so performing on stage and screen is part of the course. but it is a journey i've done with a constant, unwelcome companion. i love myjob, i love being an actor, but it's a real struggle because i suffer from a condition called ocd, obsessive compulsive disorder. for me, that means i can obsess about anything, from a stain on a page of paper to the fear i'll injure myself from simply sitting down. it's not exactly helpful when you're trying to do yourjob. there are tens of thousands battling ocd in wales alone. i'm off to meet some of them, to see how it is taking over their lives, and how they're fighting back. deon gorle lives with his family near carmarthen. he's had ocd for most of his life. for him, his ocd is particularly painful. he's overwhelmed by intrusive thoughts that his family will come to harm. she's gorgeous! whatever you do, don't fall backwards. why are you doing these compulsions, deon? what will happen? it's an overbearing feeling that something bad will happen to a loved one. for example, today, danielle's gone swimming with school. if i don't do these neutralising behaviours, these habits, then she'll drown. he's compelled to carry out a series of rituals to prevent such thoughts coming true. i have a counting pattern of five and four. being there were five people in my originalfamily — dad, mum, brother, sister, and me. and then now four, being, dawn, me, dominic and danielle. so these checking patterns have to be done in a five and four pattern. and then, if anything goes wrong, i then have to do that five and four thing, five and four times, being nine times nine. deon says that his rituals became so time—consuming, it was taking up to 90% of his day. it was horrible to live with, only from the point of my frustration because there was nothing that i could do to help him. i had over 500 separate neutralising behaviours, 500 separate 0cds. if i don't do this, what if something does happen? if it does, by pure chance, i'm going to blame myself. i've come back to my home town of flint, where i spent my school days. looking back, 0cd was always there, hidden away, although i wasn't diagnosed until my 30s. now, i'm keen to raise awareness. great memories of kicking a ball around with my mates but it was also the time when i first probably realised that i was different to the rest of the lads. because, for some reason, whenever i was passed the ball, i felt compelled to check my flies, to make sure they were done up. i now realise that was, um, that was 0cd. back then, i just thought that i was different and a little bit odd. and with that obviously came embarrassment and huge, huge anxiety. because as much as i loved playing the game, in a way, i hated being passed the ball. 0cd has a habit of hanging around. sometimes, it can take control. i've come to bridgend to meet compulsive cleaner and corrie fan, lesley, and her daughter tuesday. hello. hi, lesley. hiya. tuesday. hello! i'm iain, pleased to meet you. i don't know if we should shake hands because... this is no hand—shaking zone! i'm happy with that! we've been allowed to film in their house — on certain conditions. this is how it works. if you lift one foot up and put your foot in, then you can put it down. 0k. and then lift the other one up, i'll put the bag on and you can come in. all right, you have to excuse my... there you go. ...have to excuse the muddy boot there — i was playing football with some kids the other day at my old school. so apologies for that. so you can come in with that one now. i come in with this now? lift this up. brilliant. and then down. now, i haven't put the towels down yet because i don't know where we are sitting. sure. but when we sit down, i'll have to cover the furniture. that's fine, yeah. how do you both feel now with me covered in germs? how is that making you feel, this very moment? well, i've got, like, butterflies, but anxious butterflies. yeah. i can't wait for you to go. thank you very much! i love you, too. despite their anxiety, they've allowed us to put up cameras in the house to showjust how 0cd affects them. both have been diagnosed with 0cd. for lesley, the condition means she's compelled to constantly clean her house. you're safe to sit down now. tell me how your day unravels. well, i don't go to bed — i sleep on the settee, for a start, because the obsessiveness is on my mind all the time. i don't relax enough to go to bed. because, as soon as it's light, i need to get up and start. and i'm emotionally drained before i start because i know what i've got to do. and start what, exactly? well, there's the hoovering, the dusting, the dusting of the walls or cleaning a cupboard. no—one‘s been, but it's got to be done. and what about outside? i looked outside and i saw that even the paving stones and the gravel look clean. it's been bleached. what? the gravel‘s been bleached. you bleached the gravel? i bleached the gravel, yeah. when it's raining, i'll get the bleach — a couple of bottles of bleach — squirt it all over the stones, and then go out with a big yard brush, brush them all until they're all bubbly and frothy. i mean, i've said this before, i said that you could eat off someone‘s floor but i'm now saying you could even eat off your gravel. i know. i've hoovered the shed. i've been in the shed with the anti—bacterial inside the shed as well. there's nothing in my shed. where do i go, left, right, straight ahead? tuesday is able to work and get out much more than her mother. straight ahead, yeah. straight ahead, my room is. but a trip to her bedroom shows the impact 0cd has on her. 0k, well, the first thing i see is obviously your ordered clothes. i mean, are they colour co—ordinated, or...? so, with the colour co—ordination, that doesn't bother me. mine is, i like sleeve order. sleeve? sleeve order, sleeve order. so i've got like sort of my long sleeves and my hoods at the beginning, and i've got high necks and long sleeves still, then we go on to shirts, then i go to short sleeves and then no sleeves, so it goes up gradually. makes sense to me. yeah. and your bed. yeah. very well made. well, my bed doesn't get slept in. i don't sleep in it. because my mum doesn't sleep in her bed — she sleeps for a few hours on the sofa downstairs — i sleep in my mum's bed because the sheets are so, so neat, it's so plump, i can't bear to get in it. and even if i did get in it, i wouldn't be comfortable because i would be making it a mess and i would worry about the creases, i wouldn't be able to relax in my bed, so i don't do it. i still change the sheets, i still do everything, but i also — like with my clothes — i hoover the top of the bed as well because of the dust, but i don't sleep in it. i haven't slept in my bed for well over a year, maybe two years. because i can't bear to crease it. so, lesley, can you explain what would happen if you didn't carry out the compulsion? it's like there's a normal side of me saying "why are you doing it?" but the 0cd bully makes you do it. you're compelled to do it and if i don't do it, my mind is so messed up, there's not a word or a thing or a colour to describe what your mind is doing. to quell the 0cd, you do it anyway. and it doesn't matter how tired i am. it's like polishing the sink — i know it's clean, so why am i doing it? why can't i stop? but the 0cd is like, it's doing it, it's doing it without sometimes, you're not focused because you're doing these things. both tuesday and lesley are on medication for their 0cd. the nhs guidelines say, for 0cd, as well as drugs, there should be therapy. the recommended therapy is cbt — that's cognitive behavioural therapy. i think the first thing to say is that cbt is evidence—based. it's backed up by scientific research that it's effective. and over the last 10—20 years, we've begun to make inroads into 0cd. and we've got really effective treatments for 0cd now. cbt is not a panacea. the charity ocd—uk estimates that 75% of people with 0cd are significantly helped by cognitive behavioural therapy. but it seems getting the right level of therapist is key. i think there are a lot of professionals going around claiming to do cbt who aren't really qualified to do it. particularly with 0cd because i think, i sell it as the lamborghini of mental health problems. that you have to be good. you want that little bit extra for 0cd, a little bit extra expertise and experience. six years ago, keith was able to deon‘s 500 0cds to three or four. deon was paying keith privately and didn't complete the treatment at the time. so he's now called keith again for help. i can straightaway see gaps here. yeah, yeah. put the spoon back. and what — what may you want to do now? uh, tidy up this drawer. ok, i'll get the spoon, put it in, i'll then straighten these things. yeah, yeah, yeah. like this. make sure they are all extremely straight. i would then close the drawer. that doesn't feel like at the moment, i am holding, so i'm still holding the drawer. can you let go of the drawer, then? does it trigger a thought about anybody dying in a car crash already? yes, it's not right at the moment. it makes me want to open it again and do that, it again. so stay with that thought now, that you're really uncomfortable about this thought of dawn being in a car crash and being trapped in there. being injured, maybe dying, because you've not done that. does that make it more difficult? it makes me think that the moment you leave, i'll do it. yeah, yeah, yeah. because you have to, to save her? yeah. 0bviously, because i need to get better with this, i'm going to try and not do it. what i'm going to suggest is this drawer doesn't get five and four. because we want to use this as an example so that we can transfer it to other things in the house. if anything goes wrong now, now it's your fault. 0k. i know we laugh about it, but it's painful. yeah. when there's literally hundreds of them surrounding you and it's all around you, and occupies 20 hours a day... yeah, yeah. because you think the world is pretty dangerous, don't you? itjust gets a bit much. yeah. do you feel bad now? yeah. i don't like it. deon‘s on a waiting list for help from the nhs but from past experience, he says he has little faith he'll get the level of help he needs. even if you're lucky enough to find a cbt therapist on the nhs who is an accredited therapist, who has knowledge of cbt for 0cd, if you're lucky enough, then you only get between six and eight sessions, which is useless. it's utterly useless. something you've had for 30, 35 years cannot be solved in such a short space of time. deon‘s health board said the average number of cbt sessions is 20. and they're working hard to reduce waiting times. there we go. cbt is available for 0cd on the nhs and i've come to carmarthen to hywel dda health board to see the results. i'm meeting therapist amy and her patient whose rituals to control his violent intrusive thoughts just became too much. he didn't want to be identified. i was up to over eight hours a day doing the rituals. which, when trying to fit in a life, you know, drives you to the edge. i didn't want to go on anymore. and i actually... i actually put a load of tablets out, ready to finish the pain. after a couple of interviews with various psychologists or therapists, amy was assigned to me. and she saved my life. do you really believe that? absolutely, 100%. john has actually got to the point where he's been able to return to work. john was spending eight hours doing these repetitions. we're now at the point where john is actually spending one hour of his day. for him, that's a huge, huge... enormous. ..enormous improvement. it is great to hear there is therapy on the nhs helping those suffering with ocd. but not everyone has had a positive experience. i've come to cardiff to hear a story of frustration and heartache as one family tried to get the right help for their teenage daughter, chloe. chloe as a youngster was a bright, almost cheeky young girl, always smiling with a cheeky sense of humour. chloe was the one who was always playing practical jokes, having a bit of a giggle, laughter. you can see that. this is the chloe we remember from childhood. by 13 chloe had began to exhibit signs of 0cd. she started becoming really obsessed with her hair, fiddling with her hair, although not in a vanity sort of way. chloe was given support by the child mental health services but her 0cd became so severe, she was admitted to hospital as an in—patient. in desperation the parents asked the nhs for a second opinion. they say it took 18 months. they didn't get it. —— they did get it. chloe was assessed again, this time by one of the uk's leading 0cd cbt specialists. and immediately he was able to engage her, question her in a way that she could answer so after being here for about three hours he took us into the other room and said, yes, i think i can treat her. i've seen worse. that must have been music to your ears. the health board doesn't necessarily have to follow specialist advice. they developed their own strategy for chloe's 0cd. as her condition became more challenging, a tough decision had to be made. after consultation, it was agreed by everyone, including chloe, to try foster care. they had thinking that by taking her somewhere else that might give her a chance to rebuild. a very, very hard decision, one of the hardest i've ever done in my life was signing that paper but she went into voluntary foster care for a period. it seems incredible to me that a young girl suffering from 0cd should have to end up in hospital and foster care. in bridgend, there's a crisis. tuesday popped out to buy a takeaway and coffee for her mother and has spilled it in her car. horrible, horrible for you. it is, i've pulled the whole carpet out so you can see the bottom of my car. i am not sure how i will get it clean enough for me to be satisfied. it is worrying me a bit. i'm going to wipe it as much as i can and thinking when it's dry get the steam cleaner on it, antibacterial spray to get the smell of coffee out, i'm not sure. i can hear your mind whirring. going over! i am thinking of things i can do to make me satisfied that the coffee is gone and my car is clean again. it is really bothering me. despite the smiles, the incident is obviously stressful for tuesday. keeping her car and herself clear of germs must be a constant strain. i notice you're holding on to your wet wipe. is that with you all day? yes, it is. if i hold it in my right hand constantly, my skin peels and sometimes my knuckles bleed. tuesday, what do you hope for? i went to uni, i got a degree, and i always planned on having a career and money and i'd always wanted to travel the world, but that in itself is a problem because i couldn't imagine getting on a bus, let alone an aeroplane or a train or things like that. let's talk about social life, fun, laughter, boyfriends. do you have a boyfriend? i do have a boyfriend. how is he with you? he sees more of it than i have let anyone else see before because i feel comfortable with him and he doesn'tjudge me, i keep it to myself because i am embarrassed, i don't want people to think, thatis weird, she is odd, there is something wrong with her. one day in the future, i would like to live with him and that kind of worries me. and i see this poor little girl, my daughter, and it is so sad. she needs help. some good help. it is torture. they are tortured by this condition. as we have seen, it's just no quality of life. just speaking to them now after we packed up, i ask what is your day now? and they said it's back to doing the cleaning. she's going to spend about four hours with the car and lesley will get back to where she left off in the house. i find that quite upsetting. tuesday and lesley have had some therapy in the past but say it did not work for them. could the correct level of therapy be the key to freedom from their 0cd bully? here's the thing. wales has a shortage of accredited cbt therapists. in england, they have three times as many per head. people with mental health problems in wales are being done a disservice. i think england has worked hard to get the thing right — it isn't perfect. wales isjust waking up now, just about now some people are starting to say that we need more therapists. it's just starting to seep into the culture that we must do that. ten years ago in england, around £200 million was spent training more therapists. there are signs things are changing in wales as well. so, many of you will work with people who have 0cd. this course at cardiff university is a step in the right direction but it is the only one of its level in wales. it will take more courses like this to ensure the nhs have enough cbt therapists to meet the need. many sufferers like deon pay for private treatment, the temptation is to finish early because of a cost which can increase the chance of a relapse. it comes back with a force, so quickly, you have no idea. it is like a plague. it takes over you. trying again. new fresh time again, let's get completely free this time, let's hope. with a lot of hard work. and costs unfortunately because, as i say, there is little help on the nhs for this, believe me, i have tried. what deon would like would be for the nhs to pay for keith. there are no health boards in wales currently using private practitioners for 0cd. what about chloe? the foster care did not work out and she returned home. this january, she was admitted to hospital again. if only someone could have seen her at the right level at the beginning and they were talking about and knew what they could do, i reckon she could have been saved a lot of the suffering. she could end up relying on the nhs for another 50 yea rs. i am sure that is going to cost far, far more. it is so cruel — the illness is so cruel. what gets me is, it has been five years, five years of real suffering, and it is so frustrating because there is treatment and there for them and theyjust haven't had it. and that was heartbreaking. it is so cruel to listen to that. chloe's health board cannot comment on individual cases but do recognise there is a need to increase cbt provision. they say they have a robust investment programme to improve access to these treatments. the welsh government said they had spent £3 million on therapies like cbt over the last couple of years. while there is progress, there is more for health boards to do. so is the political mood changing in wales? i've come to speak to plaid cymru's health spokesman rhun ap iorwerth. it isn't words we need really, it's action. people are talking about mental health as recognised as an area of health care in wales that needs changing but we need to make the investment, unless we have the therapists we cannot give the therapy and without the therapy people with ocd and other mental health conditions are not going to be able to get the help that i think and you think they should. things are changing. that is really good to hear but i still feel there's a lack of understanding. and my concerns are for those people consumed by 0cd today. people think i am a nice lady, always happy and chatty, people always like me but they don't see the torment inside. it's lonely. and that is why i would love my daughter to get help. i see her friends, who have gone off to university, i see them carrying on with their lives. most days, i will think about what chloe has lost. i's going to be tough but you've got to start somewhere. i can't live with this any longer. i have had enough. just enough. i have met some wonderful people on myjourney around wales. and i have heard them truly heartbreaking stories. and some of the struggles are recognise myself but i cannot help feeling that there are too many people being let down. if someone with 0cd is brave enough to knock on the door and ask for help, it has got to be there. i hope you are enjoying your easter monday. a good deal of dry weather out there. for some, sunshine. beautiful shot in lincolnshire. you are probably seen the best of the sun today because this cloud is drifting south—west and it still producing the odd shower or two. behind it, brightening up. these showers here have been rain, hell, sleet and snow. a pretty miserable at their through the afternoon. for the rest of the day, showers will sink steadily southwards. behind cold air, pushing in across the far north of scotland. a wintry favour continuing with higher areas, but showers drifting south out of scotland. senators into the northern isles and northern ireland, but the wind direction and the air coming from the arctic so feeling pretty chilly. dicks — nine celsius. further south, some sunshine. figure cloud. —— 6—9. further south, some sunshine. figure cloud. —— 6—9 . we see the showers along the east coast drifting south. damage is falling away in a rural spots to minus eight. gardeners and growers ta ke spots to minus eight. gardeners and growers take note, a frost a significant feature for the rest of the week. a fused spring plants may look like this tomorrow morning. a shock to the system, no doubt. some sunshine on offer. into the far north—west, cloud and rain gathering by the end of the afternoon. but a good day on tuesday. if you are still off, you will be happy at extending your easter holiday. 0n the cold side, eight or 9 degrees, 14 the cold side, eight or 9 degrees, 11! further south. the dry theme continuing. the isobars swing around westerly, so through the middle of the week temperatures are a degree oi’ the week temperatures are a degree or $0 the week temperatures are a degree orso up in the week temperatures are a degree or so up in comparison to the next couple of days. a return to double digits. cloud around, but nevertheless try, milder, 9—14. the dry team set to continue for the week ahead. little rain around. turning warmerfor day. week ahead. little rain around. turning warmer for day. take week ahead. little rain around. turning warmerfor day. take note, frosty through the nights. this is bbc news. the headlines: us vice president mike pence warns that his country's "era of strategic patience" with north korea is over. prince harry reveals he's had counselling, to help him come to terms with the death of his mother. i can safely say that losing my mum at the age of 12 and therefore shutting down all of my emotions for the last 20 years has had quite a serious effect not only on my personal life but also my work as well. turkey's president erdogan promises to press ahead with new sweeping powers, after narrowly winning the constitutional referendum. at least 12 people suffered burns, after a suspected acid attack at a london nightclub. also this hour: cracking down on smuggling using drones.