>> it's "the late show with stephen colbert." tonight: mr. schiff goes to washington. plus, stephen welcomes john mulaney featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: come on! oh! hey, nice to see you! lovely. hey, everybody, please, have a seat. good to see you. happy wednesday. happy hump day, ladies and gentlemen. welcome, to "the late show." i'm your host, stephen colbert. the excitement in the air. everybody knows it's day two of donald trump's senate impeachment trial. and if mcconnell has his way, it'll go just like trump's dating career: quick and disappointing, and no questions asked. also, i would like $130,000 to forget i ever met him. and i will tell you all about it in tonight's "don and giant impeach." >> he's such a pain in the ass ( laughter ) >> stephen: once again, the lead manager of the case today was adam schiff. it was gratifying to see someone taking the constitutional responsibility of their office seriously. he laid out the case against the president clearly, passionately, coveragently, and, i believe, courageously. because whether or not president trump is removed from office, history will not forgive those who looked the other way at his abuses or forget those who stepped in the breach at this moment of crisis. so, no surprise, the number-one trending topic on twitter was mr. peanut. ( laughter ) evidently, he died. okay, okay, but number two was gritty. ( laughter ) we're doomed. number three was the trial. schiff was ready even before the trial started. there was a rumor circulating that republicans would allow democrats to call john bolton as a witness if they could call joe biden. but schiff shot that idea down. >> trials aren't trades for witnesses. this isn't like some fantasy football trade. >> stephen: he's right. the senate trial isn't like fantasy football. for one thing, if you start talking about the senate trial, i won't leave the room. ( laughter ) at 1:00, schiff took to the well of the senate and played the hits: >> president trump responded by saying, "i would like you to do us a favor, though." the so-called three amigos. everyone was in the loop. >> stephen: woo! do quid pro quo! woo! do drug deal! woo! ( applause ) schiff stood there today in front of his audience discussing the president's corruption and incompetence using graphics, audio, and video of witnesses, even clips of trump incriminating himself. hey, schiff. you're treading on my turf. ( laughter ) if i find out you've got a house band, i'm suing. ( laughter ) schiff laid out his premise clearly and passionately. >> the only conclusion consistent with the facts of law-- not just the law, but the constitution-- is clear. if this conduct is not impeachable, then nothing is. >> stephen: (as trump) "really, nothing? woo-hoo! corruption party at my place! first one there gets to replace lincoln on the five!" ( laughter ) now, you couldn't help-- ( applause ) you could not help-- >> jon: abraham. >> stephen: you couldn't help but be moved by the historic nature of the event, unless you were senator rand paul, because according to one reporter, every few minutes, rand paul keeps flipping through his notebook to do bits of a crossword. let's see here, let's see here... "sackless trump toady... eight letters"... oh! 'rand paul'!" there you go. there you go. i do have a pen. i do have a pen. ( applause ) while the trial was mostly full of material we've heard before, there was some breaking news. our own cbs news reporter grace segers reported the scoop. "tom cotton has milk! this is not a drill. he has a glass, in addition to his glass of water. he is the first senator i've seen to request and get milk. i repeat, tom cotton has milk!" wow! you know that must have pissed off bernie. ( as bernie ) "tom cotton's milk must be evenly distributed through the senate. right now, 1% of the senators have 100% of the 2%!" "it's a shame, it's a chanda." yesterday, the trial went until nearly 2:00 a.m. that is late! can we see how it ended? >> i ask unanimous consent that the trial adjourn until 1:00 p.m. wednesday, january 22. and that this order also constitute the adjournment of the senate. ♪ ♪ >> without objection, so ordered. the senate is adjourned. ♪ closing time open all the doors... ♪ >> stephen: anytime anything ends at 2:00 a.m., you legally have to play that song. >> it was particular lie tough for chief justice john robertses. he had to be back at the supreme court at 10 a.m. ( as john roberts ) "okay, what's up, breyer? so, what are we talking about? yeah, yeah, guns are legal, corporations are people. please don't argue so loud. ginsberg, can i rest my head on your doily?" chuck schumer kept proposing amendments. mitch mccconnell kept tabling those ammendments by party line votes. republicans rejected seeing records from the white house, evidence from the state department, documents from the office of management and budget, defense department documents, and subpoenas for testimony from john bolton and mick mulvaney. oh, come on! why are you rejecting all information? aren't you at least a bit curious about all the crazy ( bleep ) stuff trump did? you don't even have to do anything about it. just vote to find out what it was. everybody wants to find out their boss' secrets. take it from me. you don't want to learn it from a ronan farrow article. so it was no surprise-- ( cheers and applause ) you don't. >> jon: you don't want that! come on, now? >> stephen: you don't want to do that. so it was no surprise that things got a little testy between the democratic impeachment managers and trump's lawyers, starting when jerry nadler went off on the trump team's constant lies. >> i'm struck by what we have heard from the president's counsel so far tonight. they lie, and lie, and lie, and lie. >> stephen: they lie, and lie, and lie, and lie. that's not entirely accurate. they also lie. ( laughter ) those accusations outraged trump lawyer and man staring at you from across the produce aisle, pat cipollone. ( laughter ) cippilone had enough of the democrats' brazen calls for evidence. >> it's about time we bring this power trip in for a landing. it's a farce, and it should end. mr. nadler, you owe an apology to the president of the united states and his family. ( as cippolone ) "yes, yes, and while you're at it, could you also apologize to the president's previous family? and the one before that? they're all still waiting." ( applause ) please? finally, chief justice roberts stepped in to call for order. >> i think it is appropriate at this point for me to admonish both the house managers and the president's counsel in equal terms to remember that they are addressing the world's greatest deliberative body. >> stephen: yes, the senate is the world's greatest deliberative body-- not to be confused with "people" magazine's annual "hottest deliberative body." ( laughter ) smokin' grassley. ( laughter ) it looks good. it looks really good. i didn't expect that from chuck grassley. chuck grass-fed. justice rawbts reached back into history to provide an example of the senate standing up for decorum. >> in the 1905 swain trial, a senator objected when one of the managers used the word "pettifogging," and the presiding officer said the word ought not to have been used. >> stephen: mr. chief justice, you're gonna have to come up with another example, because i'm pettifogging sure no one knows what that word means. ( laughter ) ( applause ) now, after-- ( applause ) >> jon: pettifogging. petticoat junction. >> stephen: after trump lawyer jay sekulow asked, "why are here?" representative hakeem jeffries gave him this answer. >> we are here, sir, to follow the facts, apply the law, be guided by the constitution, and present the truth to the american people. that is why we are here, mr. sekulow. and if you don't know, now you know. ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: nicely done. nicely done. that was good. >> jon: wooo! woooo! >> stephen: of course, old-school hip hop fans like me know that's a quote from the notorious b.i.g.'s song "juicy." of course, rap has a long history in our nation's discourse. as george washington said in his farewell address, "as the father of the country, please call me big poppa. throw your hands in the ay-a, as you cross the delawaya!" ( laughter ) yeah. so beautiful. >> jon: oh, yes. >> stephen: so beautiful. other than video cameras controlled by the senate, no recording devices are allowed in the chamber during the senate trial. but like in a regular trial, sketch artists are, which is how we know that yesterday idaho senator james risch fell asleep. give him a break. this thing went until almost 2:00 a.m. it's totally understandable that senator risch fell asleep at 5:30 p.m. wow! wow! somebody poke him! he didn't just nod off for a second. he was asleep long enough to be hand drawn. ( laughter ) put a glass under his mouth to see if it fogs up a little bit. the sketch artists got images of all the main characters, including this generous depiction of mitch mcconnell and chuck schumer. and look next to schumer's desk. they have a spittoon! they have to. it's for amy klobuchar. she can make that sucker ring from 50 feet out. "point of order!" ( ping ) >> stephen: thank you, thank you very much. but the sketch artist did take some liberties, like this picture of marco rubio writing with a quill pen. ( laughter ) he actually drew that. >> jon: wow. >> stephen: it seems weird, which is why rubio's office told reporters that he does not use quill pens. so that means the sketch artist can just make things up? that explains this rendering of senator dianne feinstein. we've got a great show for you tonight. john mulaney is here. when we return, i'l be right here with more monologue. there's just too much monologue. i am running to defeat donald trump. in 2016 i warned that donald trump was a dangerous demagogue, and when the republican congress wouldn't hold him accountable, i went to work helping run winning campaigns in twenty-one house seats. it's time for the senate to act and remove trump from office, and if they won't do their jobs, this november you and i will. i'm mike bloomberg and i approve this message. ( band playing ) ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: jon batiste and stay human, everybody. making everybody happy. ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: welcome back, everybody. we're still over here because we have more monologue. one of my favorite comedians, john mulaney, will be out here in just a moment. very talented. now, folks, while impeachment was going on in washington, d.c., trump was in davos, swts, where he held a press conference this morning. one reporter asked if he planned on attending his trial. >> i don't know. i would love to sit in the front row and stare at their corrupt faces. i'd love to do it. ( as trump ) "i'd love to stare at their corrupt faces, and it's like gazing in a mirror. so beautiful. democrats are nice, too. democrats are nice, too. one of the articles against trump is something called obstruction of congress, because the white house is withholding all the materials needed to investigate trump's ukraine scheme. apparently, trump's pretty proud of that crime. >> i thought our team did a very good job. but, honestly, we have all the material. they don't have the material. >> stephen: he's bragging about the thing he's on trial for! ( as judge ) "how does the defendant plead?" ( as defendant ) "your honor, the defendant pleads-- ha-ha-ha you'll never catch me! i killed 'em all! also, not guilty." trump also had some words of praise for his personal attorney, rudy giuliani. >> rudy giuliani is somebody that i think the press has been very unfair to. greatest mayor in the history of new york. he knows corruption, really, better than anybody. ( laughter ) >> stephen: yeah, that's kind of the problem. ( laughter ) it's like saying thanos is an expert at population control. trump was alsont b "marriage story." >> there is some question about this china deal, some people feel it doesn't have enough teeth. >> are you ready? we have tremendous policing. we have a policing aspect of this deal that's the strongest anybody has ever had. if that happens, i'll terminate the deal. i'm not a baby. >> stephen: yeah, trump's not a baby. he has trouble with stairs, throws fits when he doesn't get his way, and he'll only eat french fries and cake. he's a toddler. ( laughter ) ( applause ) then trump squelched over to an interview with cnbc's joe kernen, where he emphasized that it's up to the government to protect innovators, especially ones like elon musk. >> do you have comments on elon musk? >> i was worried about him, because he's one of our great geniuses, and we have to protect our genius. you know, we have to protect thomas edison. ( laughter ) >> stephen: mr. president, sit down. i have some awful news about thomas edison. i can't believe i have to break this to you. of course, a lot of democrats are trying to remove trump from office with an upcoming election, including former south bend mayor and guy watching you sleep on an airplane, pete buttigieg. throughout mayor pete's campaign, he's struggled to garner support from african americans, so on m.l.k. day, he stopped by the brown and black presidential forum, where he was asked a simple, but fun question. >> if antonia and i invited you to a potluck or barbecue, what are you bringing? >> is it a breakfast potluck? >> stephen: no! that's not a thing. 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( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: everybody, welcome back! ladies and gentlemen and gentlemen, you're in for quite a treat this evening on "the late show." my first guest is a very funny comedian whose new special is "john mulaney and the sack lunch bunch." please welcome back to "the late show," john mulaney! ♪ ♪ ( applause ) ( cheers ) >> they played the little theme song, yes. >> stephen: that's nice. nice to see you again. >> nice to see you, stephen. how have you been. >> stephen: it's been too damn long. >> it's been a little bit. >> stephen: you know what i like about you, besides the fact you're funny and you seem like a nice guy, everybody loves your stand-up specials. you can watch them with the whole family. >> that's nice. >> stephen: can't you? i'm not missing anything. >> people that say. they go, "you're very clean." >> stephen: yes. >> and i'm not, but -- >> stephen: sometimes dark. >> dark, yeah, the darker recess of humanity. i try not to swear, but i do sometimes. >> stephen: okay. >> and i found you can swear if you quote someone. ( laughter ) if you say, "a guy said to me," and then say the filthiest thing you ever thought of, people go, "oh, he said that to you?" they never assign that to the speaker. >> stephen: yeah, yeah. >> that is how i've become the semidirty cleanest comic in the united states. >> stephen: "john mulaney and the sack lunch bunch" is a netflix special. can people see it now or do they have to wait? >> they can see it now on netflix. it premiered december 24. it's a comedy special, starring me and 15 children. >> stephen: you almost named it "latch key kids." >> yes, john mulaney and the latch key kids. >> stephen: are you surprised i knew that. >> a lot of people think of that as a pejorative term, a bad thing. i was a latch key kid. and that meant you came home and your parents were at work and you had fun, freedom. >> stephen: is this person?" >> oh! >> stephen: is this who we're talking? >> yes. >> stephen: there you go. >> real quick, the haircut, the front bangs, i woke up with gum in my hair, and then i took a pair of scissors, and that's my work right there, snapped it off. >> stephen: you did this? >> yeah, dimy own hair for that photo. >> stephen: it's nice. >> i looked really confident. >> stephen: it's very good. shuuse this as your head shot. >> yeah. that's a cool shirt, honestly. >> stephen: so what was your-- what was your freedom like when upper a latch key kid? a free-range chicken? what were you doing? >> i would come home, i'd watch, like, "maury." >> stephen: found out who the father was. >> and the drill sergeant with the teens. that guy would come out and you were like, "is he in the army for real?" a bad teen would be on, and they'd be like, "i don't care what my mom said." and a drill sergeant came out and would be like, "you're going to be nice to your mother!" and they would cry. and you're like, is this a member of the armed force s. >> stephen: did you get a lesson from that, i should be nice to my mom? >> i'm still nice to my parents. >> stephen: i'm glad to hear it. they asked me to ask you that. >> i always-- i knew it was good for business to be-- always keep-- be nice to them. >> stephen: and did you see that by looking at your older brothers and sisters and going, "okay, i'm not going to make those mistakes? >> no, my brother and sister were less drawn to trouble than i was. i like the flame of trouble. ( laughter ). >> stephen: and you were the moth of... >> i was the moth of the family. ( laughter ) and i went towards the light bulb that was the allure of danger. >> stephen: the glamour of evil. >> the glamour of evil. and i was the moth that went towards it. as they-- as they say in the letter to the politicallians. so i would see my friends get in trouble, and i was like, you can't get busted. that's bad for business. >> stephen: oh, sure. >> so i come in and say-- i still am very overly polite with my parents to a degree. i'm kind of like a waiter when i see them. ( laughter ) i'll be like, "and how are we this evening? yes, all right? yi know. thank you, i'm glad. okay. i will be back with some bread right now. ( laughter ) i was on vacation-- my wife and i took our moms on a trip for mother's day. you might have heard about it because we were pulled over per having too many pashmeanias in one car. third day of my trip my wife said, "you act fake around your mom." and i said, "yeah." and she said, "why do you do that?" and i said, "you're supposed to." i said, "you're supposed to act fake around adults." and my wife said, "you're 36 years old." and then she said, "so there's a fake you with your parents." and i said, "yes." "and there's a fake you on stage." and i said, "yes." see anna said, "how i do know when i'm with you it's the real you." and i said, "you don't." (laughter). >> stephen: how did that go over? >> so-- let me tell you. she-- she thought-- she looked at me and she thought a little bit and she said, "you know, we've been together for nine years. and i think we'll be together for a long time. but you will never really know what i think of you." and then she-- no, but i like this-- "and i will never know what you think of me." and i said, "yeah, it's kind of beautiful." and i said, you know, if there's a hell, if there's an aftlife, if there's a hell, i think it's an encyclopedia, and you can just look up what nerve your life thought of you. and if there's a heaven it's a wikipedia, and you can just change that." ( laughter ) ( applause ) >> stephen: that's beautiful. that's beautiful and sad at the same time. did you want to get something? >>imented water. is this yours? >> stephen: no, that is absolutely yours. i have coffee over here. >> you're drinking straight-up coffee. >> stephen: black coffee, baby doll. fresh cup every act. >> a whole cup of coffee every act? >> stephen: just a couple of sips. it cleanses the pal at and lightens the mind. just water? >> just water for me and tremendous anxiety, yeah. ( laughter ) always -- >> stephen: do you have a lot of anxiety? >> i do have a lot of anxiety. >> stephen: and that's why you don't want anyone to actually ever truly know you. >> oh! ( laughter ) ahhh... that's a really good question. >> stephen: thank you. >> is it okay if i take time-- i know we're on a network -- >> stephen: i have a cup of coffee right here. just give me 15 seconds on the clock, jimmy. >> okay. ( laughter ) ( applause ) >> stephen: while we wait for an answer, a reminder to our audience, john mulaney has been asked the question, "is your anxiety why you don't want anyone to know you?" ( laughter ) >> from an early age, i tried to be funny for the adults. i mean, my mom said, "when you were a baby, you used to poke your head out of blankets." and she said, "it was like you knew how to be cute." she did say it flaiterringly. she said, "it's weird, it's like you knew what you were doing." i think i feel i have to provide that in order for people to like me. then, you know, like the idea of would they like me just as me without poking out of the blanket, metaphorically, is a real thought or concern. >> stephen: follow-up question, mr. mullaney. ( laughter ) follow-up question, mr. mullaney. at the crux of your answer is the need to be liked. >> right. >> stephen: do you think you'll ever get to a stage where you can be yourself because you don't care whether they like you or not? >> um, i don't mean to turn it on you, but -- >> stephen: but. >> how-- may i-- how do you feel about that? like, where are you at in your process in-- or do you have a process in terms of being in the public eye, being very funny, and coming home and facing stephen in the mirror? ( laughter ) ( applause ). ( cheers ) those 4:00 a.m. moments, you know. ( sighs ) >> stephen: i have gotten to a place where i don't want a lot from the audience other than to make them laugh and to make a connection that my internal anxieties, as i express them externally through the joke, when it makes them laugh, i have the sense of camaraderie and community that i'm not crazy to feel this way, because they wouldn't laugh unless they recognized it it in somebody else. >> okay. >> stephen: it might be anxiety about life or death or about what happened today in the news. and so there are a lot of people out there who i know don't like me. because of the sometimes-divisive nature of the jokes they make. >> oh, okay. >> stephen: you know what i mean? >> right. that feels personal. >> stephen: will if you know that's happening-- no, what feels personal is the connection i make with the people who do appreciate the jokes. and beyond, that i'm just doing my job, and i wish no one harm. and if some people don't like what i do, i don't like that, but it's not my problem. >> wow, that's really great. ( cheers and applause ) that's a-- that sounds like a great state to be in. >> stephen: it's pretty good. >> that's very good, yeah. i think i am coming out of a faze where-- do you know the velvet underground song "i'll be your mirror"? >> stephen: yeah. >> i think it's a beautiful song. i realized listening to it, no one else can be your mirror. you just have to not go off what other people think of you to be what you are. and this-- i don't mean to wedge in to the thing i just worked on, but i was working with these kids ages 8-13, and i thought oh, i remember being that age, and that is the state i would like to be in. because they were very kind. they were very thoughtful. and they also knew that they had no control over their lives at all because they were children. and they would say-- one kid said to me, "you know, my mom gets really mad when i get below a 90 on a test." i said a 90 is great. why don't you tell her to back off?" you know. and he said, "because if i did that, i'd be toast." and i thought, right. you're a person, like me, your feelings are the same. they have the same validity. but you know that people go, "you're going to karate class now!" and then you're in karate all of a sudden. >> stephen: right. >> right? i thought for a couple of years i could control the karate classes of my life. but you cannot, not even as an adult, not even at age 37 if you're me. >> stephen: that's true. >> you still will sometimes be shoved into a car and told that you're taking ballroom dancing. ( laughter ) >> stephen: did you take ballroom dancing? >> i took-- i took ballroom dancing for my wedding. both my brother and sister took it when they were 10 and 11, i believe. did you go toica tillions and things like that. >> stephen: i did. >> and did you learn ballroom dancing for them. >> stephen: i did. >> and do you still know it. >> stephen: i do. >> i would say if i gave a speech to hoolers-- and no one is asking for this-- i would say, "young men, learn how to dance." because i didn't know how to dance until-- i didn't know how to ballroom dance until i was 33. and the worst dancer at a wedding is the one who's not dancing. so learn how to ballroom dance. that would be my whole speech to graduates, if i gave one. ( laughter ). >> stephen: the worst dancer at a wedding is the one who is not dancing. you mis100% of the shots you don't take. >> that's right. the guy who says, "i'm going to drink coffee foran hour while everyone is dancing." just learn a box step and get out there. >> stephen: we have to take a break. i hope you'll stick around. i'd like to be back with more john mulaney. heads. way over... asking for help is a skill we learn early. and use often, if we're wise. having another person in your corner is huge. and if you need expert help with something as important as taxes, we're here. i freelanced last year what expenses can i clam? i can help you with that let's take a look. people can be good at anything. yes, even taxes. intuit turbotax hey earl, another cold one. you got it. cool, refreshing hvr. (paul) sprint has great news really great news!amily. you can get both an unlimited plan... 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( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: hey, everybody, we're here with mr. john mulaney. john, david burn, the great david burn, talking head david burn, is a player in this. he's a member of the sack lunch bunch in a way. >> he's an honorary member. >> stephen: i heard today when you started doing stand-up, some of his style influenced the way you first did stand-up. >> yes, yes. >> stephen: in what way? >> when i was a kid i would watch the concert film "stop making sense," jonathan demme, talking heads film. like i said, i didn't know how to dance, and i wasn't a very athletic kid, so i lived in my brain. and i saw david burn, and he was like-- i saw him and i thought, "oh, i could dance like that." because he had those moves like that and he was just sort of lining-- yeah. i thought, yeah, that's like me, that guy. to the point that i was like, yeah, okay, he and i have the same vibe. and he wore a suit, and he kind of made fun eye always thought he made fun of the way grown-ups talked. "does anyone have any questions?" and he had that kind of flat, fake-adult voice. when i started doing stand-up, i would just talk like david burn, and i would be like, "i'm so happy to be here. this is the best time i've ever had." and i found it really funny. and people-- it wasn't a joker situation, but people didn't like the act that much. ( laughter ). >> stephen: well, there's a little bit between joker situation and not all the jokes are going over. >> yeah, but if you're a comedian watching that movie you go, "oh, yeah, let me just tweak that right there." >> stephen: yeah, sure. >> yi really did follow david burn's style. and, also, always looked up to him because when i was making this thing, this children's special, i would say to people, "it's a comedy special. it's like a stand-up special, but instead the kids are singing my jokes." they would often look at me and often there were executives working on it. so david burn, i read, said sometimes he has a project and he doesn't know what it is until it's done. but he knows how it's supposed to feel. so he goes into it with that intention. and so he was really a great person to just have on set when i did notno at all because he's followed that a lot. >> stephen: we have to take one more break. i'm sorry about that. >> it's okay. >> stephen: when we come back, we'll talk to john mulaney about his new show "the sack lunch bunch" on netflix. stick around. proof i can fight psoriatic arthritis... ...with humira. proof of less joint pain... ...and clearer skin in psa. humira targets and blocks a source of inflammation that contributes to joint pain and irreversible damage. humira can lower your ability to fight infections. serious and sometimes fatal infections, including tuberculosis, and cancers, including lymphoma, have happened, as have blood, liver, and nervous system problems, serious allergic reactions, and new or worsening heart failure. tell your doctor if you've been to areas where certain fungal infections are common and if you've had tb, hepatitis b, are prone to infections, or have flu-like symptoms or sores. don't start humira if you have an infection. humira is proven to help relieve pain, stop further joint damage,... ...and clear skin in psa. want more proof? ask your rheumatologist about humira. you met on anwhy?. delete it. he's the one. gesundheit. 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( laughter ) i can't speak for everyone else, but i liked him. except-- except, i feel like there was one time he may have said a curse word. >> audience: oooh! >> stephen: now, wait a second. >> what are you at a puppet show? >> wait, i'm not done yet. i have something good to say about you. >> okay. >> you got my a cake on my birthday because i worked on my birthday? >birthday. >> yes, you did, you worked on your birthday. >> stephen: that's nice. >> we had a-- it was a chess board. >> like the scene. >> like the scene we did. i remember when i cursed. remember we were all sitting together in a group? >> yeah. >> and i was talking to the director, and he told me we don't have time to do something. and i forgot eye just forgot you were all 8-13. >> it happens. >> stephen: did you tell your mom that he said a bad word? >> no, i didn't, but if i would, he would be in trouble. oooo! >> stephen: tyler, do you think there's a chance your mom is going to watch the show tonight? >> there's a 100% chance. >> stephen: tyler, last question, we have to go. you're in trouble! >> it was said out of frustration. >> stephen: it was, it was. last question. you've worked with me, and you've worked with john... >> oh, boy. >> stephen: who-- and it doesn't matter. you are not going to hurt either of our feelings. who was more fun to work with? >> well, i did work with ethan hawke. ( laughter ) he was-- he was the best! >> stephen: that's all we have time for, tyler. tyler, thank you so much for being here. so lovely to see you. congratulations on the new show. >> thank you. >> stephen: tyler bourke has a new show called "john mulaney and the sack lunch bunch." john ulaney and that's it for "the late show." tune in tomorrow when my guests will be chris cuomo and david alan grier. now stick around for james corden. good night! captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org >> stephen: have you seen any good movielately? no, but let me tell you about the time i walked in on my uncle in the shower. ♪ are you ready y'all to have some fun ret ce he love tonight i late ow ♪ >> i ladies and