Would be the, quote, toughest decision that he will ever make. And thats coming from a guy who once had to fire meatloaf. It couldnt have been easy for trump to fire a guy named after food during a Coronavirus Task force press briefing on friday, President Trump said that he was already thinking about dates for reopening the country from the coronavirus lockdown, but added that he would defer to experts experts . Or as most people call them, pillow salesmen. Trump administration is reportedly expecting and planning on reopening the country on may 1st, as in the coronavirus will eventually die out, but you may first alex bays wrote that cheeryouupper. According to reports, President Trump threatened to veto the 2 trillion coronavirus economic package if it bailed out the Postal Service oh, my god, would you just, i dont know, put him on a stamp or something tell him its for the Postal Services ode to hotties oh, yeah, no, in that case give them whatever they need. Who else got a stamp asa hough . Yeah, thats fair, very fair. In a video message yesterday, President Trump wished americans a happy easter and said, quote, we have a lot to be thankful for. A lot to be thankful for were all on lockdown due to a Global Pandemic. The only things we have to be thankful for, medical professionals and hard liquor. Today was National Scrabble day. And so was yesterday and probably so is tomorrow. Day after. Producers have announced that the released of the friends reunion special has been delayed due to the coronavirus pandemic. Truly, no one told them life was going to be this way [ claps i think that was right according to a new report, illegal marijuana sales in new york have risen by 50 during the lockdown and the best part is, now your dealer doesnt want to stay and hang out. You sure . You dont want some of this weed you just sold me . Nah no, man, im going to hit it. Got planet earth on bluray you want to stick around you always stick around. Nah im going to go. And finally, a woman at the new Orleans Airport was arrested over the weekend for obscenity after she tried to book a flight at the Spirit Airlines counter while naked. Nice try, lady, but if you want to fly spirit, youre going to have to at least put on a pair of socks thats a monologue we got such a great show for you tonight. His show last week tonight airs sundays on hbo. John oliver is back, i cant wait to catch up with him. But first, a closer look. Seth welcome back to the attic crawl space, everybody now, as you may know, theres been some speculation online about whats behind my tiny little door back there and i just want to put one of the rumors to rest i do not keep my children in there so they wont interrupt me while im filming. For one, that would be very cruel. And two, its a shallow closet you would never fit both of them which is something you can tell from eyeballing. I didnt try you cant lock it from the outside. Look, there are a lot of reasons. But the main one is it would be cruel. Also its been pointed out that the number of copies of the thorn birds on my side table kept increasing. At one point there was one copy, then two, then a third copy seemed to appear out of nowhere, it was very strange. So we had our guy come to check it out he said its pretty common in old attic to have an infestation of what he called mini series books. He said at one point there was likely an aunt of some sort up here but he sprayed were back down to one and he said everything will be back to normal in a week or two, while also stressing you have to be patient with a problem like this and you know, you cant rush it. And yet while im being patient with my thorn birds books, the president is already getting ready to reopen the economy after a bombshell New York Times report revealed more details about how he ignored the threat posed by the coronavirus. Thats a segue for more on this, its time for a closer look. As weve already detailed, the president ignored repeated warnings over the course of several years that a pandemic like this was coming, that it could kill lots of people and that it could devastate the economy. Then he lied about it, said it would go away, pushed a miracle cure that doctors have said could have potentially lethal side effects and is now telling everyone things could just go back to normal after tens of thousands have died and 17 million have lost their jobs, or as the president put it we have done a job the likes of which nobody has seen and you should say congratulations, great job, instead of being, uh, so horrid in the way you ask a question. Seth well, i will congratulate you on bringing back the word horrid. Really nice work on that, mrs. Thurston howell you think they should say congratulations, great job i think youre confusing a press conference with a party of some kind not only are your questions horrid, you never bring balloons its been a month. Not a single cake. Have you guys not heard of pinatas or have you and you just dont like them because you hate fun . Yeah, you hate fun, i said it. But yeah, next time we can bring out a cake that says congratulations on only 17 million unemployed. Seriously, we could, because in the last month or so weve all gotten pretty good at baking not great at ironing but pretty good at baking. And then we found out over the weekend about yet another series of warnings when the New York Times published a blockbuster account on how trump ignored the crisis for months as well as emails from medical experts and government officials talking about the danger of what was happening. One Infectious Disease doctor, james lawler, who served in the white house under president bush and as an adviser to president obama wrote in one email that the governments slow response was like ignoring the Smoke Detector and waiting until your entire house is on fire to call the fire department. And in another he wrote, pilots can tell you what happens when a crew makes decisions based on intuition rather than what their instruments are telling them. Among the many horrifying parts of that story is imagining trump as an airline pilot. If trump had been flying during the miracle on the hudson, we would be calling it the fireball on the east river. And he would have spent the whole time blaming the geese and yelling at the passengers, you know, instead of screaming and putting on your oxygen masks you should be saying congratulations, great job, captain. its going to make a great movie. We also considered sullen and bully but we thought in your head you might hear bulley and no one wants that. Again, what were experiencing now was not inevitable in those same emails, lawler noted that Pandemic Response planning began in 2006 under the Bush Administration and wrote that we could have followed the examples set by hong kong and singapore where the outbreaks were effectively contained lawler wrote of the mistakes the government was making in march, we had systematically addressed all of these and had a plan that would work and has worked in hong kong singapore. We have thrown 15 years of institutional learning out the window and are making decisions based on intuition. Of course he threw 15 years of learning out the window. Thats probably what his High School Tutor said when they tried to help him study for the s. A. T. S. Donald, can you read these Vocabulary Words for me . 10,000 known or susbested gang members. Advising law markers will not be tolerized. Distribution of urgengcy seth i feel as though ive thrown 15 years of learning out the window whats a window uh, you mean the glassy square hole anyway, dont worry, teach, my intuition tells me my dad is going to buy my way into pennis. Its not pennis its penn. Ha, you said pennis. And now, the same president who ignored repeated warnings from medical experts and intelligence officials about the crisis then instead just went with his intuition and is once again telling people hes going to decide to reopen the economy soon based on his instincts. Over the weekend he called into his favorite fox news shout fest with Jeanine Pirro to discuss his thinking for when to reopen the economy, something he cant even do on his own i know you said that the decision that youll make, uh, regarding reopening the country is probably the hardest decision, uh, that youve ever been called to make. Uh, when you make that decision, i mean, where do you go within you . What is it that you dig deep for to come up with a decision, aside from all of the people surrounding you . Well, jeanine, i think its going to be the toughest decision that ive ever made and ill be basing it on a lot of a lot of very smart people, a lot of professionals, doctors and, uh, business leaders. There are a lot of things that go into a decision like that and, uh, its going to be, uh its going to be based on a lot of facts and a lot of instinct also whether we like it or not, there is a certain instinct to it. Seth theres instinct involved are you making a political decision or are you a swallow returning to capistrano . Dennis miller joke and i hope youll pardon me if i dont have a ton of faith in your instincts one of your instincts was to put your photo on trump bottled water. Ah, what could be more refreshing than being leered at by a business husk oh, thats piss. I just drank piss. You dont need instinct. You have access to more information than anyone on earth and youre talking about a Global Pandemic like youre the pickup artist. Youre supposed to be the president , not mystery also, stop making it sound like a big reality show finale. Ill be making a decision and it will be a big decision and ill be deciding whether to give the final rose to the dow jones or dr. Fauci fauci, hey, fauci. Fauci. Fauci, you want to hear a secret fauci. Listen up, fauci, fauci. Im not going to give you the rose got you to touch your face, fauci. Also, jeanine, what kind of question is this where do you go within you, what is it that you dig deep for to come up with a decision seth where do you go within you . There is no deep within him. Hes so shallow, he barely exists in the third dimension. If you dumped a teaspoon of water in a kiddie pool, it would be deeper than trump there is nothing inside. Hes as hollow as a Chocolate Easter bunny hes everyone in the wizard of oz in one package what do i want . Brain, heart, courage. You name it. Who am i you can call me tincrowlion. Id be president foreve so handsome and so cleve if i only had heart brain courage moral cod single iota of humanit suit that fit so trump thinks he deserves congratulations for his handling of the pandemic thats left 17 million unemployed in three weeks and tens of thousands dead and yet he cant even manage to coherently regurgitate basic scientific facts like this bizarre explanation of how antibiotic resistant germs work. This is a very brilliant enemy, you know, its a brilliant enemy. They develop drugs like the antibiotics, you see it, antibiotics used to solve every problem. Now one of the biggest problems the world has is the germ has gotten so brilliant that the antibiotic cant keep up with it and theyre constantly trying to come up with a new theres whole genius to it were fighting not only is it hidden, but its very smart, okay its invisible and its hidden but its its very smart. Seth antibiotics work on bacteria coronavirus, and theres a hint right in the name, is a virus. You cant use antibiotics on a virus, no matter what your doctor told you in his airbrushed van seriously, trump is like a fifth grader who forgot he had to make something for the science fair you pour the vinegar into the volcano and then the baking soda, you know what im talking about, theres a whole genius to it i dont think i need to explain, just look at the poster. I had the butler make it so in the middle of a deadly pandemic thats cratering the economy because the president ignored repeated warnings, hes demanding praise from governors and the media. But trump is the not only one. His obedient allies on state tv have also been exhorting people to shower trump with praise. And by the way, maybe its time to once in a while say, i want to thank the president , his task force, and the Vice President for knocking down every door and giving us everything were asking for. Seth my god, is hannity auditioning for a spot on north korean state tv . Even kim jongun would be like, dude, bring it down a notch. Seriously, sean, play it cool. I know you want to be best friends with trump but youre coming on way too strong you can always tell when an adult man hasnt had other male friends in a while, because when they finally meet a potential new friend they just dont know how to handle it oh, man, donald, we have so much in common you want to come over and barbecue, watch sports, drink beer, talk cars, rate girls and stuff . I got a baseball signed by mickey mantle. You gotta check it you gotta see it the mick. But sean hannity understands that you have to consistently shower trump with compliments or youll fall out of his good graces on sunday, for example, when fox host Chris Wallace asked a medical expert whether trumps late start to confronting the virus cost lives, trump lashed out at him with a tweet saying, what the hell is happening to fox news, its a whole new ball game over there. After everything fox news has done for trump, he still complains about them the only news show he wouldnt criticize would be a topless woman who reads his tweets without comment and then fakes an orgasm. Boob news continues to be the only fair network out there. A lot of good work being done at bn. To stay in trumps inner circle, you have to praise him without exception which is something that trumps unwatered chia pet Rudy Giuliani understands better than most. Rudy actually offered some advice recently to governors and local officials who had been feuding with trump over the fact that trump has refused to supply them with adequate equipment including ventilators and protective gear for health care workers. A little advice for the governors and the mayors take the blame when you have to. You know, if you play with your boss, sometimes its better if you dont win the golf game. Uh, hes the boss. Hes got all the resources seth great thousands are dead and rudy is saying, think of it like a golf game and no, he doesnt have all the resources. We have all the resources. Theyre ours, you outer borough gargoyle we shouldnt have to be nice to the president to get him to give us lifesaving equipment. Besides, you dont have to try very hard to lose to a guy who cheats like trump does i had a four on that one. What about you, boss . I had a one wait maybe a two. No, it was a one. Trumps already been impeached once and now were finding out that he ignored repeated warnings from intelligence officials and medical experts about a deadly pandemic thats killed tens of thousands and left millions unemployed looks like well have to find a way through this nightmare without president ial leadership. Whether we like it or not seth this has been a closer look. Wait who let you out . Oh, not you too. Theyre loose the boys are loose [ laughter ] this has been a closer look. Oh, are you going back this has been a closer look. City harvest is new york citys Largest Food Rescue Organization and now theyre working hard to support local families who are out of work due to the covid19 pandemic theres a website on your screen where you can donate to help well be right back with john oliver. Announcer for more of seths closer looks, be sure to subscribe to late night on youtube. People used to care. Heck, theyd come all the way out here just for a blurry photo of me. 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Buy iphone 11, get one on us. Plus 150 off apple watch. This is unlimited built right. I am totally blind. And non24 can throw my days and nights out of sync, keeping me from the things i love to do. Talk to your doctor, and call 8442142424. Cheddar, jalapeno and sour cream onion the spicy nacho stack. I wish i could stack pringles but i dont have hands or a mouth to. Cool, play my dance playlist. Theres a flavor stack for everyone. Sort of. Seth our first guest tonight is the host of the emmy and peabodywinning last week tonight on hbo. Welcome back to the show john oliver, everybody hello seth there you are hello, seth hello, everybody hello, seth. Hello, magical mystery door. Seth i continue to be so jealous of a choice you made early on, which was to do your show in just front of a white background thats right, thats right. Dont let people into your life. And also, also i am willing to bet a great deal of money that that flower arrangement is not of your choosing that has your wifes style written all over it. Seth this is day one of the flower arrangement it took her it took her a full two weeks to watch anything that we had done on the television show. That sounds about right, yep. Seth yeah, and so, she was aghast two weeks into our remote shows to see how poorly dressed the set was. [ laughter ] thats right. How you look, how youre making your house look, collectively. Seth yeah. Yeah, thats why i just go with black you cant argue with nothing seth no, and was it born out of was it born out of necessity or choice . Well, first we were the week that everyone started closing, we ended up in a studio in hoboken, and we just did it in front of a white backdrop because our studio in new york was full of coronavirus. So, we were in front of a white