Transcripts For KNTV The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon

Evan rachel wood musical guest, annie lennox. And the legendary roots crew its the tonight show at home edition. And now, heres jimmy. Jimmy hi, everybody. Welcome to the tonight show at home edition. My name is jimmy fallon and thank you so much for watching we have a great show for you tonight. Guys, i want to wish everyone a happy Star Wars Day. Thats right its a time fans say may the 4th be with you, which is great, because now you know what day it is yep, they call it Star Wars Day because of the phrase may the 4th be with you, which as we know is how baby yoda said it before his front teeth grew in meanwhile, tomorrow is Cinco De Mayo though right now americans are thinking, yeah, like we need an excuse to sit around drinking tequila all day long. Check this out i heard that doctors and dentists have now started removing magazines from their waiting room patients are like, oh, no now how will i find out who was named sexiest man alive in 1997 . Brad pitt and Jennifer Aniston are breaking up . Now, airlines are removing their inflight magazines so now youre going to have to find somewhere else to see a a filled out sudoku puzzle and stick your wad of gum. You know, this pandemic is affected everyone across the globe. Check out this thing i saw earlier today on bbc in times of international crisis, every man, woman and child must pull their weight but look at this fellow, not a a care in the world. Hey, you there yes, you what do you think youre doing put that down and go and do something useful all those chores youve been putting off. There, thats better well done. Looks like the old motors not been out for a while better get that fixed. Some rusty kitchen skills are being put to good use. Looks tasty, and ready for the part and so are these fellows some are turning their hands to Animal Husbandry with rather mixed results. Still, practice makes perfect. How about some veg to go with dinner a bit of a dig thats it, and up she comes. Those roses wont prune themselves will they better get on with it, then. Hey, you there, lights out its gym time. Ready . Its a one, two, three, four five and rest. Even the cats impressed with a good Job Well Done cheerio and bye for now. Jimmy wow, the bbcs coverage of the pandemic is a little bit different than ours dont you think . I saw that the new twilight book is being released from edwards perspective yep. Women are so excited, theyre like, finally, something from a male perspective. I heard that for the first time, murder hornets have been spotted in the u. S so if a worldwide pandemic cant keep you inside, introducing murder hornets yep. These murder hornets sound pretty scary, so we wanted to find out more. Joining us now, one of the murder hornets thank you for being here jimmy, whats up, man how you doing . Jimmy im good, thanks for letting me talk to you i got to say, you sound pretty friendly for something thats called a murder hornet murder hornet really is that what theyre calling us now . Look, were just regular old bees who happen to make things fall asleep forever. Jimmy right, but i heard that youve just been discovered in our country and that youve been decapitating our bees decapa what . No, man, were just rough housing with your boys we practice mma moves on each other. Jimmy mma . But sometimes, you know, that horseplay goes a little south. But its all in good fun you know, the news isnt always so black and yellow, you know. Jimmy but theyre saying bee keeper suits cant even protect humans from your stingers though. Bee keeper suits also dont protect you from drowning, but i dont hear you calling the ocean murder water. Jimmy i guess that makes sense. You jump in front of a bus with a bee keeper suit on and theyre not going to call it a a murder bus. Jimmy yeah, yeah, yeah i get your point there just got stung, jimmy jimmy okay look, if you dont want to be called murder hornets, what do you want to be called . Ooh, im just spitballing here maybe, spicy bees . Jimmy spicy bees yeah, grumpy bugs little fellas who woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Hornets who do murder sometimes. Butterflies, but instead of butterflies, theyre murder hornets. Jimmy all right, all right im glad we got to the bottom of all that. Thank you so much for coming on the show my pleasure, jimmy. Also, quick shout out to my crisis pr team, hwc and associates i owe them everything. Id be nowhere without them. All right, i got to go do some mma moves on your honey bees murder hornet, out jimmy thank you very much, grumpy bug we have a great show tonight Ashton Kutcher and mila kunis are here theyre going to talk to us about quarantine wine. This is their wine that they have where all profits go to four separate charities for covid19 relief. Its kind of an amazing idea and they pulled it off in perfect amount of time i also like that the label is blank so you can write who youre thankful for or what youre thankful for while youre having a little quarantine wine. Also, we have Evan Rachel Wood from westworld. The finale was last night. Shes going to talk a little bit about that, but no spoilers and then were just going to see what else shes up to. I believe shes learning how to play piano shes that amazing and we have great music tonight. Oh, my goodness. Shes one of my all time favorites. Honey im freaking out. Jimmy i know, weve just been playing we have been playing that album jimmy diva. Diva. Jimmy over and over again. Annie lennox. I want annie lennox on the show every single night i love everything about her. I think shes the coolest human. She came on our show a couple years ago. No entourage just walked in annie lennox had a book. That was her entourage a book a dogeared book, and i go, can i get you anything . Shes just that cool i just love her. Shes going to talk about this thing called project angel food, which delivers meals to people in los angeles who are seriously ill. Its a beautiful charity, and shes going to sing a song for us tonight with her amazing voice. I love you, annie lennox, so much this is so fun also i want to say, mick jagger is here on behalf of savethechildren. Org. Please go to that website and do whatever you can. We would love that, and thank you so much to mick and matt for doing that i appreciate that. Well, it is may the 4th, which is, you know, International Firefighters day i do want to say that first off and foremost, they were trending on twitter. Its Teacher Appreciation month. Like we need this is the perfect were all appreciating teachers right now like crazy so man, i cannot wait to celebrate teachers, and thank you firefighters, and anyone emt, everyone on the front lines there, doing amazing stuff, really. Its a thankless job sometimes, and i just want to say on behalf of everyone, thank you so much. And its also, of course, Star Wars Day, may the 4th be with you. And i was thinking, what are the star wars characters up to now during quarantine . I talked to tariq. So here to let you know what theyre all up to, in alphabetical order, here are the characters from star wars, given to you by tariq may the fourth be with yo may it be with you alway that also mean in quarantines from spring t into fall days star wars characters are home for a while so lets catch up with the now alphabetical style as for admiral akbar the lobster lookin guy saying its a trap cause he cant go outside and young anakin thinks this quarantine is a pain but he shouldnt go outside and he shouldnt be traine theres b times two making bb rollin round his hous putting on that covid weigh aunt beru is in a stew and never washes her hai and then theres boba fett boba fett, where . Chewys writing a book but not just not writing every day someone get thi walking carpet out o his own wa and c3po is dealing with his own frustration laid off from his job in cyborg Relations Yeah the c is for count and the d is for dook e is for the emperor whos starting t go koo koo and then out and about on social distance walk are hoards of tiny maske adorable ewoks f is for finn and finns doin fine g for grand moff tarki though hes cgi and general grievou better liste to physician that dudes got a hundred respiratory condition for bad guys, quarantine i really the worst g is also for greedo but h shot firs but han is not sol hes coisolatin with jar jar binks and his patience is fadin j is also for jabb isolating in his barge hes the hut in charge yes hes e. X. Large drinking way too many of his favorite quarantinis while the jawas wont stop screaming out hootini for k theres kylo ren yeah hes still aliv turns out that mask is actually an n9 and l is for lando isolatin in the sky with lobot, his half robot headed right hand guy and we wont forget luke no nobody fear but old luke has been socially distant for year mace windu stares ou his mace windo jammin to his spotify lists of max rebo and maz kanata has bee at home for so lon but still somehow got a cameo in this son theres Obiwan Kenobi the general the master who cant get his sourdough bread t rise faste his baking has him getting to the end of his rope but he cant completely lose i hes the only hope for p Princess Leia who cant cook but instea has been snacking on the buns on the side of her head p for padme q for queen amidal theyre the same perso if you dont know then you outt and qis kind of slopp cause quigon jin is looking like hes getting on medichlorians and r is rey who i so sad and bored dealing with the fact that her dads a sith lor sitting there depresse in her doom in gloom doing zoom therapy in her one bedroom r2s at his lake house mostly staying insid spending most of his time organizing his archives takes occasional walks and occasional fly while the neighbors all sa since when can r2 fl and then theres the s which of course stand for sith who wont stay home or socially distant not aware and they care if they get everyone sic but thats why theyre sith lords thats kind of thei shtick now the beyonce of star wars im talking sy snootles is staying at home making zucchini noodle and making the sauce is her best oldest chu hes vivacious and audaciou hes salacious crumb t for tundra an u3po for when it comes to v only one will do the big bad terro yes im talkin bout vade the original lover turned original hater the image of evi the original baddi and this shouldnt be a spoile hes luke and leias daddy w is for watto who had to close his store and cant get out t gamble on pod race no mor and for y there is no guy outside of yod whos floating aroun doing daily jedi yog and being productive never sitting on his as teaching his free online jedi master clas theres a couple of zs but no one youd miss and its way past time to get to the end of thi so thats star wars from the a to the z may the 4th be with yo and may the 4th be with me [ evil laugh ] jimmy well be right back everybody with Ashton Kutcher and mila kunis come on back dad jimmy yeah my tooth just came out. Jimmy no way come here, let me see. Come here. My tooth just came out. Jimmy let me see it. Where is it . Oh, my goodness. Weve been working on this tooth. My seventh tooth. Jimmy seventh tooth that came out right there oh, my gosh, winnie. Im so proud of you. Oh, my goodness. The tooth fairys going to come tonight. Im so excited for business as usual. Or is it . What if business as usual means putting people first. And understanding their needs . If thats your business. 365 days of every year, then business as usual is precisely what these times require. Which is why your lexus dealer will do what weve always done. Put you first. Find out how we can service your individual needs at lexus. Com peoplefirst. Jimmy Ashton Kutcher and mila kunis are great actors who wanted to do something to help relief efforts for covid19. So, they came up with this thing called quarantine wine theyre just the greatest couple and youll see right now heres my zoom chat with Ashton Kutcher and mila kunis. Jimmy hi, mila hi, ashton thank you for doing our show i really, really, really appreciate this. I see that youre happy, youre home, youre safe. How is the family . How are the kids hows it going great, they have around ipad and pretzels so you have about 20 minutes, jimmy. [ laughter ] jimmy yeah, i know exactly what you mean. [ laughter ] they will be right behind you and all i keep saying is, like, how is their snack supply, yeah. Theyre turning learning programs on ipads and mowing on some eating pretzels, so jimmy oh, thats exactly im on the same schedule as you guys [ laughter ] how are you doing with the home schooling . Are you good its Teacher Appreciation week yeah. Jimmy which couldnt have come at better time. Boy, do i appreciate teachers [ laughter ] i realized im a fantastic t. A im like a professional t. A. [ laughter ] this one over here, god bless it, man. I mean jimmy really yes yeah jimmy youre good . I like me some teachin yeah. We set up like a curriculum for the week, and we plan it out, and figure out what the kids are going to learn like throughout the week. And so weve done like various weeks. We did a week on the first week was like well, we piggybacked some energy and electricity. Oh, yeah. And then we did like, how to build things architecture. Architecture. And building. Wait, the one thing that we did do that i feel like is a a good hack, is we enlisted our friends to do, like 20 minute zoom sessions with our kids. It would be like, teach our kids anything. And it could be anything from making flower arrangements, to architecture, to like anything and so, that gives us 20 minutes of not parenting. And also allows our kids to have another type interaction. And it works really well with people who are like single yeah. And they are home, theyre alone. And they dont have kids. They dont have to do anything they dont have kids that theyre chasing around all day so, theyve got a free 20 minutes or 30 minutes and theyll like just engage in that so, we did one architecture lesson we did one Energy Lesson Recyclable Energy cookies we baked cookies we baked cookies for one. Yeah. We did a flower arrangement for one. Yeah. Jimmy i need your i need your friends number well give it to you. [ laughter ] i have no friends [ laughter ] thats a bummer. Weve abused all of our friends. Were like, whos next . Well, we piggyback off our kids curriculum i dont want to take away their schools are amazing at helping the parent jimmy oh, yeah so, we just piggyback off of them this week were doing the human body so, were going to learn about the skeletal system, the digestive system so, we have the kids ask questions at the beginning of the week and then, throughout the week we have to get the answers to the questions. So, one of them is how long does i yeah, from the point when you eat the food, how long does it take to make poop jimmy gosh, if you gave me multiple choice, i could be close. But i wouldnt be able to guess. [ laughter ] i have no clue. Guys, we all have google. Its magic [ laughter ] jimmy hey, i got to say, the one thing i wanted to get in touch with you guys and say, congrats, and what a great idea this quarantine wine idea, i think is brilliant how did you come up with the idea and what a perfect thing for right now. Really, mila it was you. Well, its two fold, let me say. I married a person whos brilliant and smart, and, you know, can make things happen very quickly i think lots of things i think i have Brilliant Ideas daily, jimmy i think i have the most greatest ideas once in a blue moon they stick this all happened out of having like, zoom dates or face time dates with our friends jimmy yep. We have like, dinner or drinks or whatever, and i realize that the not to like encourage drinking, but the one thing we can all gather around is like food and like entertainment, or like having a glass of wine and just relaxing and then i also realized a lot of our friends reached out to us, and were like, hey, where can we donate to you to help . And he was working with flexport at that point and we were trying to figure out like how to navigate our friends to help them and donate and i realized how good i selfishly felt when i was able to donate. And so, in a weird way i just combined my both of my favorite things, drinking and donating. [ laughter ] and that was literally that was it and i was like, well, what if we create like a wine. And we have amazing friends at nocking point that did this very quickly. That are, you know, brilliant at what they do. And its all 100 goes profits go to charities. We dont want money, it wasnt about that it was just about allowing people to have a way to feel good about themselves. Donate 50 and get something in return have fun with it, enjoy it, post it. And know that your money went to somewhere useful. Jimmy not only is that idea brilliant, but i thought the other thing which is i ordered my bottles by the way. They should be here, i think today. No. Yes. Jimmy so, as soon as i get them, im going to give you a shout out just to say thank you. But, love whoever thought of the label is blank yes jimmy do you happen to have a bottle by you that you can show yes yeah, we started out with the idea was, like can we do like the simplest thing, right because its like, weve seen a bunch of, like, people that are well known or celebrities that are like, feel like theyre celebrating during this time were like, hold on this isnt like a celebration time. This is like a, lets buckle down and figure out how to do things. So, were like, the best thing is to just do like a blank label. But, in the idea is, it says toasting to on here, and then quarantine wine, which is the name and you can pick like whoever you want to toast. So, like if you, you know, like we are appreciating teachers. Right now, its teachers appreciation week. Jimmy yeah so, toast to teachers and we can do and you can just make your own toast to. And then post it on social media with quarantinewine i say this, and i havent had social media, but i hear its very important to do [ laughter ] and so, you should do quarantienewine jimmy yeah, i just think its i dont even know how you got it together so fast, and so quickly nocking point yeah, so i would say that as smart as we are, our friends are much smarter. Yeah, we have friends we were thinking about doing a a wine, and our friends at nocking point, like do this, and turn things around really quick. And we called them up and said, hey, if we did a quarantine wine, how quickly could we have it out . And within three weeks they got a label approved we had a label approved we had trademarked, we had samples. We but, i will also say this figured out whats going in the bottle and they were ready to ship. When people f