And democrats living abroad said, one democrat abroad, leave me out of this. [ light laughter ] former congressman beto orourke appeared at a Joe Biden Rally in dallas yesterday and announced his endorsement in spanish then out of habit, biden said, that sounds good, ill have that. [ laughter and applause Election Officials in multiple states are encouraging voters to use mailin ballots due to the coronavirus. That story again, several states are fighting coronavirus by asking people to put their saliva in the mail [ laughter and applause just send it out, just get it out of there [ cheers and applause former new york mayor Mike Bloomberg said yesterday that he would vote for senator Bernie Sanders if he was the democratic nominee but, quote, would not be happy doing it. Yeah we know. Youre [ laughter ] youre never happy [ light laughter ] you always look like youre on your way either to or from a colonoscopy. [ laughter ] msnbc anchor Chris Matthews abruptly announced his retirement yesterday following a string of recent controversies and onair gaffes. Man, what do you do when youre a 74yearold retired tv host with a shady reputation . Oh, oh right thats the right yeah [ laughter and applause thats the path. [ cheers and applause President Trump toured a Vaccine Research lab today at the National Institutes of health, because what better time to interrupt their work [ laughter ] this is one of the vaccines you shake it . [ laughter ] President Trump said today that he has asked drug Company Executives to speed up the development of a coronavirus vaccine. Well, thats why you get paid the big bucks. [ laughter ] at first, they were like, were going to develop slow. And then i was like, i have an idea what if we do fast [ laughter ] so, i mean, think of all the lives ive saved [ cheers and applause all those lives. According to reports, pope francis tested negative for the coronavirus after suffering from a cold for several days so, relax. Everythings fine, and you can all go back to drinking from the same cup as 500 other strangers. [ laughter and applause an ohio man is attempting to break a world record by drinking only beer during lent. If youre wondering what he is giving up, im guessing custody . [ laughter ] and, finally according to a new report, britains Prince Andrew has repeatedly attempted to seduce women by letting them sit on the queens throne, unfortunately while the queen is still sitting there [ laughter and applause ladies and gentlemen, we have a great show for you tonight [ cheers and applause he is the host of last week tonight which airs sundays on hbo and a dear, personal friend of the queen john oliver is here, everybody one of our favorites [ cheers and applause she stars in the burnt Orange Heresy which you can see in select theaters this weekend Elizabeth Debicki is here. [ cheers and applause so happy to have her on the show and her fantastic novel weather is on the stands here. Jenny offill is here [ cheers and applause you guys the democrats held their tenth debate last week, but i think theres still a lot of important questions left unanswered. So, we decided to hold another one. Thats right all of the qualifying candidates are here right here, right now and theyre ready to go. So, without further ado, here is the late night democratic president ial debate. [ cheers and applause seth welcome to the late night 2020 democratic president ial debate. Im your moderator seth meyers lets get started. Mayor bloomberg, lets start with you of all of the ads we see on television, how many of them are yours . 95 [ laughter ] seth senator sanders, Pete Buttigeg dropped out of the race this week whats yet to come for mayor pete the most important years of human development. [ laughter and applause seth Vice President biden, the next question is for you what is your favorite way to speak . In ways that, in fact, make no sense [ laughter and applause seth senator warren, whats the last thing you ate for lunch . It was mayor bloomberg. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause seth mayor bloomberg, you have been working hard to court black voters how is that going . If they were white, it would have been a lot easier [ laughter ] [ audience ohs ] [ applause ] seth that makes sense. That makes sense senator sanders, what is the motto of the u. S. Congress everything is impossible. [ laughter ] seth senator warren, who do you hope gets voted out of the senate, mitchell mcconnell, ted cruz, or Lindsey Graham . All of the tools. [ laughter and applause [ cheers and applause seth senator sanders, the next question is for you how would you describe the group the Village People black and white and latino, native american and asian people seth oh, you know what [ laughter and applause oh, there is that theres that song of theirs i love liz and bernie, you want to sing it with me its fun to stay at the y m c a [ laughter and applause seth mayor bloomberg, what does a racist person say when they want you to think theyre not racist i know a lot of black people. [ laughter and applause seth senator warren, what did mr. Potato head say to mrs. Potato head when the box fell off the shelf spilling the pieces everywhere . Those are our eyes and ears on the ground. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause seth Vice President biden, to the best of your knowledge, what is the mcdonalds slogan . 150 Million People have been killed since 2007. [ laughter ] seth i dont think thats right. [ laughter ] senator sanders, what would you say if i did this . End the gunlahter and applau seth yeah. Hey hey, mr. Steyer, what are you doing here i thought you dropped out. I am scared [ laughter and applause seth you can stick around then [ light laughter ] mayor bloomberg, what role did Jake Gyllenhaal play in Brokeback Mountain the naked cowboy. [ laughter and applause seth senator warren, what happened at your 7th grade sleepover when tracys mom brought out pepsi instead of coke i packed up my stuff, and i went home. [ laughter and applause seth mayor bloomberg, what do you think of ellens game of games their human rights record is abominable [ laughter ] seth senator warren, what do you get when you let your cow smoke weed high steaks seth high steaks [ laughter and applause high steaks. Followup. What do you get when you cross a penis with a potato . [ laughter and applause dictators [ laughter ] seth dictators dictators. [ cheers and applause the answer we were looking for was dictators. Vice president biden, what would you do if your internet was down and you couldnt get to any porn sites . I got magazines [ laughter ] seth senator sanders, is it true that during season one of American Idol you preferred Justin Guarini over Kelly Clarkson ive cast thousands of votes including bad votes. [ laughter ] that was a bat vote. [ laughter ] seth mayor bloomberg, what does it say on your tinder profile . Im six feet tall [ laughter and applause seth Vice President biden, first thought when the edible hits i have more hair than i think i do [ laughter ] seth mayor bloomberg, whats the one thing that scares you the most kids, particularly kids in their late teens [ laughter ] seth Vice President biden, who goes to the Buffalo Wild Wings in tampa . Chads in florida. [ laughter ] seth mayor bloomberg, what did donald trump say when his son don jr. Was born for the next 20 or 30 years, we are going to live with this catastrophe [ laughter ] seth senator sanders senator sanders . [ cheers and applause the next question is for you do you believe in vampires in one form or another, they exist in countries all over the world. [ laughter ] seth Vice President biden, we have time for one last question how does donald trump make love to his wife . With a small d. [ laughter and applause seth ladies and gentlemen, it looks like we have out of time [ cheers and applause so on behalf of the candidates, have a good night. We will be right back with john oliver. [ cheers and applause tv sports announcer five seconds left. Oh ho yeah, thats my man there. Tv sports announcer time out. Lets go to a commercial. Nooooooo not another commercial when you bundle your home, auto and Life Insurance with allstate you could save 25 . In fact, the more you bundle the more you can save. Put the other game on if its important to you allstate can protect it. Home auto and Life Insurance you could save 25 . If its important to you allstate can protect it. What . Bundle and save with allstate. Click or call for a quote today. Hey guys want to stack different pringles flavors to create new flavor combos . Here ill. Go first. Pizza, barbeque and jalapeno. The spicy barbecue pizza stack. Get him grandpa whats going on . 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Youve joined jimmy johns youve placed your first order. Lets see what you win oh, incredible another winner free sandwich sign up for freaky fast rewards® and earn a free sandwich after your first order. Just a blur when they jumped the median. The corner of my eye. There was nothing i could do. daughter daddy dad vo shes safe because of our first outback. And our new ones even safer. avo welcome to the allnew subaru outback. An iihs top safety pick plus. The highest level of safety you can earn. [ cheers and applause seth welcome back, everybody. Give it up for the 8g band right over there [ cheers and applause also back with us on drums tonight, hes currently playing with shock rock legend alice cooper he can be heard on the new release from the Hollywood Vampires rise featuring alice and johnny depp. For more information check out alicecooper. Com. And follow him on instagram. Glenn sobel, everybody thanks for being here, glen. [ cheers and applause thanks, seth. Seth our first guest tonight is the host of the emmy and Peabody Award Winning show last week tonight which airs sunday nights on hbo. Please welcome back to the show our friend john oliver, everybody. [ cheers and applause seth how are you fine, thanks. Theres nothing i like more than trying to time sitting down to a band stopping. Seth i know. [ laughter ] its the simple things in life but theres nothing like a bang seth yeah, you doubleclutched and then i actually sat down before you, which makes me look like a terrible guest and you look i look like a terrible host. I did a kind of bounce. I was too excited about it and i tried to hit you on the down beat seth welcome back. How are you . Thank you im all right. Thanks, yeah seth you the last time, you were here was a while back yes seth but i had you sent over a mascot to the yep seth this is the mascot you made for a field piece thats chiijohn. [ laughter ] thats right. Thats right i remember i texted you not long before they arrived. Seth yeah. Kind of just really like selling you on the idea as a small unit of time seth yes its like this will take 10, 15 minutes maximum what i did not realize at that point was that they dont speak at all seth yes so there a japanese mascot mascoteers [ laughter ] a technical job title is inside there. So they dont speak english but they also wont speak at all seth right [ laughter ] so they had a translator so i could speak to them but then they would not respond out of character at all they basically went full daniel daylewis inside to [ laughter ] yeah seth and it is i will tell you first of all, it was true you said this will take ten minutes. It absolutely did. Youre welcome. Seth it is so unnerving yes yes. Seth to have a silent mascot stare at you [ laughter ] it is really it seems charming, and initially it is but then you look through the grill of the eyes and you see the silhouetted outline of someone you dont know who will not speak to you [ laughter ] seth yeah. And whenever you give them basic instructions theyll respond again in character with them going hee, hee, hee. You go okay, okay. [ laughter ] i get the hee, hee, hee. I really do. But can we go over there for a second take . Seth yeah. It is genuinely unnerving not they didnt speak a single i was with them for two days they didnt say a single word. [ laughter ] and then during breaks, they were still in character kind of grabbing each others tail while everyone else is eating going, is this all day . [ laughter ] amazing. Seth its also unnerving to think that you spend that much time with two people you could not describe to the police [ laughter ] yes seth if they did something terrible they would be like, what did they sound like . Yes seth what did they look like . And youd have nothing [ laughter ] thats when you say, i dont know this story doesnt add up. Two days they said nothing no i can describe the outline of a human head. [ light laughter ] seth it was like sort of, oh, and they did this a lot. Yeah they go hee, hee, hee a lot. Presumably, after they kill. [ laughter ] seth we are talking right now on super tuesday yeah. Seth when this is over, will you go home . Will you watch the returns of super tuesday . No. I mean, its look, im glad its finally here. Seth yeah. But there is a lot there has been a lot of talk about it today. Its kind of been irritating watching the news today. And just having them say, who do you think is gonna win this state . Who do you think is gonna win this state just wait. [ laughter ] youre about to find out [ laughter and applause people on the theyre like kids seth yeah. In the back row of a car. oh, who who who is going to win alabama, dad . Wait for the exit polls [ laughter ] wait for the polls to close. Dont make me turn this democracy around. They just they just cannot help themselves. But want to know seth yeah. Yes seth and obviously, we have a lot going on as well because theyre balancing super tuesday with, rightfully so, with coronavirus. Yes seth you did a coronavirus piece. Yes seth you turned it around very quickly yeah. Seth i personally, there was more information in that than ive been getting a lot of other places okay. When did you make a decision to do a coronavirus deep dive because you didnt have a lot of plans . I guess the answer that is like, it was it was atypical for us cause we decided, well, its early in our week and we have Something Else planned but, occasionally, there are weeks when if we have something very timeless, maybe dry that weve been working on like Something Like weve done like mobile Home Financing in the past. [ laughter ] there was certain weeks like, i dont know, this week where its a little harder to say, i know that coronavirus is spreading across the world in borderline pandemic fashion but i need to talk about mobile Home Financing. [ laughter ] its a really hard sell to be like, you need to you need to or you want to . In a needlessly contrarian manner so, yeah so, we decided at the start of our working week, and so we crashed it pretty quickly seth and how do you feel right now . Do you think that we are suitably panicked . Do you think we are over panicked as people seth yes its on a persontoperson basis. Seth yeah, okay. [ laughter ] it depends. On a scale of one to ten, it depends what your regular level of panic is on a good day. Seth yeah. [ laughter ] me, im at a regular six or seven. Seth yeah. [ laughter ] so so this you probably have to go up a notch from wherever you were. Seth yeah. Gotcha but not too much. Thats the thing you got to try to balance. Basically, just dont be an idiot either way seth yeah. [ light laughter ] yeah. Seth my wife is a very germaverse to begin with. In general . Right . Before this happened seth yeah, in general. Right, whereas im not yeah. Seth so, i think most of her stress you love germs . Seth i love i cant get enough of them [ laughter ] just looking for a super immunity seth yeah. Licking poles in the subway [ laughter ] seth thats the way i feel ill never die. [ laughter ] seth i feel pretty strong about that i feel like my but thats the thing. Shes always calling and shes like, where are you . And im like, im at dinner. Shes like, no, youre not. I can see you outside. Youre in the gutters. Yeah [ laughter ] are you in times square again inhaling around elmo seth so, yeah. Right seth i think her bigger concern is like what im gonna bring home as opposed to like her. Yes, thats fair. Seth yeah. I think that everyones gonna have to wrestle with their darkest, stupidest instincts seth yeah. When my phone went off with a that news alert yesterday of someone theres a case in manhattan, a woman has got coronavirus and shes selfisolating there was the initial split second of, where is she . [ laughter ] seth yeah. Ive never kind of reached for a flaming torch that wasnt there. But then i shut that down. [ laughter ] i shut that down like a human being, but there was that split second of, burn her. [ laughter ] seth i also feel ive always felt this way i hope youre fine. Seth yeah, yeah, yeah. Of course.