primaries, including five states is everything. for ralphie's grooming appointment. the reason why it's so important he did not campaign in for honey pot to do well who's his groomer? uh carrie. turns out it was a smart move to is so the next black girl have him talk to voters as she could have a better opportunity... when were you thinking? i don't know. tuesday afternoon? little as possible that means a lot to me. [ laughter ] that's right yesterday was super tuesday and ♪ joe biden and bernie sanders both soundly defeated the average human lifespan full groom for sure ♪ [ laughter ] i said i just booked ralphie's appointthat work?e with former new york mayor mike bloomberg announced today ♪ that he is dropping out of the presidential race. wait you what? and then elizabeth warren ♪ it's that easy! download the app or book online at petsmart.com (announcer) verizon won more awards announced that, you're damn than any other network again this year. right he is. all these awards are more proof that we built [ cheers and applause a network that really works for you. experience america's most-awarded network this smoothie has over 3 times v8 onlyas much. ams of sugar. on the phone you love, the amazing iphone. plus, up to $650 off the latest iphone when you switch. according to a poll, senator so maybe we should call this smoothie, sweetie. bernie sanders received more than 40% of the lgbtq vote v8 the original plant powered drink. during yesterday's super tuesday primary. veg up. meanwhile, joe biden got most of that's a zzzquil pure zzzs sleep. the "csi: new york" vote. our gummies contain a unique botanical blend, [ laughter ] are haikus better than fleece? than... fleece edition. uh no way! while an optimal melatonin level what about freckles? freckles?! health officials in israel today means no next-day grogginess. - grapes?! pet rocks? - what?! are wizards better than fleece?! urged people to stop shaking zzzquil pure zzzs. you stole my bit neil. hands to prevent the spread of naturally superior sleep. and no, nothing's better than fleece. the coronavirus. get all jeans, sweatshirts and hoodies could put cookies & creme in twix...twix on sale up to fifty percent off! at old navy! instead they suggested using the official jewish greeting, "why this is a right twix. haven't you called?" excuse me... the family has to share one. ...ooo.. got it! step up with boost mobile and get 4 phones for free i'm going to need you to ... the footwear company, crocs, has never mind. 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[ applause ] i am groot. ♪ [ cheers and applause cool. is there any way you could come down here? and finally according to new studies, staring directly into cool, refreshing hvr. >> seth: our next guest is a very funny comedian and actress the eyes of seagulls is a good you know as susie greene in the way to prevent them from hbo series "curb your stealing food. enthusiasm," which airs sunday unfortunately, it's also a good nights on hbo. let's take a look. way to fall in love. >> it's for you. [ laughter ] for your birthday. ladies and gentlemen, we have a great show for you tonight >> you never got me a birthday gift >> i did this year [ cheers and applause >> yeah, what is it? he is one of the stars of what is it (mom) to reconnect we got a subaru to give him some adventure. oh my god, larry and you can hear him as the ed and be together. oh my god. >> you love it i had it commissioned. and once we did that, a great artist gave me a big "duncanville." ty burrell is here tonight, you discount we realized his greatest adventure is just beginning. >> you had this made for me? guys [ cheers and applause >> yeah.[ light laughter ] you can catch her in the tenth season of the very funny "curb (vo) for many subaru owners, >> no. adventure starts in our national parks. >> oh, my god. your enthusiasm," airing sundays it's absolutely magnificent. on hbo that's why subaru is the national park foundation's susie essman is here [ cheers and applause why wouldn't we expect our deodorant to dry it's magnificent largest corporate supporter, it's a work of art so excited about both of our guests to protect the adventure that brings us together in an instant? it's not just cause it's me. before we get to them, joe biden new degree advanced protection dry spray. had a big night on super for generations to come. all is forgiven. tuesday, setting goes on instantly dry for a cleaner feel. welcome to the most adventurous outback ever. >> seth: please welcome to the show, susie essman, everybody. 72 hour protection in an instant. [ cheers and applause ♪ for more on this, it's time for the all-new 2020 subaru outback. "a closer look." ♪ [ cheers and applause no. uh uh, no way. go where love takes you. ♪ it's worth remembering just how ♪ high the stakes of this come on. no. democratic primary are because no. right as democrats are deciding n... ni ni, no no! who their nominee will be, we're only discover has no annual fee on any card. also dealing with a national you are -- we were talking backstage. health emergency over the spread one of the few upsides to of the coronavirus and a gnocchis.s. n... ni ni, no no! raviolis. and them smokeys. coronavirus -- president who is totally curry. >> you don't have to shake hands unequipped to handle it. fried turkey. anymore. >> seth: yeah, yeah. today, for example, president cacciatori. >> it's a thing of beauty. chimichurri. berry. you don't have to kiss trump spoke with reporters at mcflurry. (mcdonald's) you could just be like, the white house about measures half stack. taco pack. people can take to prevent the lobster mac. completely like elbows, arms, and them baby back baby backs. spread of the virus and said we are america's kitchen. fists. and you don't have to touch anybody. >> seth: yeah. this doordash. >> i love it i love it. >> we're always saying the common every flavor welcome. >> seth: it's so strange that sense of washing your hands, not larry david and you get along. [ laughter ] >> i haven't touched my face in >> in real life, we do weeks. >> seth: yeah, of course you do. [ laughter ] >> yes in weeks >> seth: and you knew larry -- well, you guys were doing i miss it. standup together in the '80s [ laughter ] >> seth: all right, first of >> i met him in 1986tar. all, that can't be true otherwise how did this happen? >> seth: wow >> yeah. i mean, if you didn't put all >> seth: and wwa that bronzer on your face, how ♪ [ cheers and applause >> he was hilariously funny, but did it get there >> seth: welcome back. here at "late night" we talk a nobody got him it looks like he went to sephora the audience didn't really get for a free makeup tutorial and lot about the news, but not him. it just went horribly wrong. >> seth: yeah. >> but the comedians used to everyone is an auditory learner. watch him -- >> seth: so he was the perfect second, i would just like to some people retain information say, you may not have touched comedian's comedian. >> comic's -- yeah, exactly. better when it's presented and we used to always watch him visually because you never -- it was your face but i would love to so to make sure those viewers danger when he was on stage touch your face. because you never knew what he just to see what the texture is have caught everything that's like happened so far this year, two was going to do. i remember once he was doing of my writers, jenny hagel and [ laughter ] amber ruffin, have created some some bit about a bungalow. is it like a sponge or an old visual aides i don't remember exactly pancake? and they'd like to present them and a woman in the audience when you press on it, does it now in a segment called "late bounce back like a foam said, "what's a bungalow," and mattress night dioramas." he went crazy. or does it get stuck in place ♪ and stormed off the stage. like silly putty [ cheers and applause i guess what i'm asking, if i it was always something like rolled your face on a comic strip, would i be able to see "calvin and hobbes?" that or like, he would walk up, and >> seth: hey, everybody. he would look at the audience [ laughter ] say hi to amber and jenny. >> hi. shouldn't you pay less when now you can. data? and he would just say, "i don't [ applause ] >> hi, everybody because xfinity mobile gives you more flexible data. think so," and then he'd walk more importantly, there's been a [ cheers and applause off. [ laughter ] >> seth: hi, great oh guys. oh you can choose to share data between lines, he would walk off. i can't wait to see the dioramas but his material was always so brilliant that we would just all lack of widespread national you guys have made mix with unlimited, or switch it up at any time. testing for the coronavirus in watch him cause he was such a >> we can't wait to show them to genius the united states compared to you. >> we worked very hard on them >> seth: it must be so fun when other countries, due in large all on the most reliable wireless network. you find out that there is a part to the trump >> seth: okay. plot line where you're going to administration's lack of just to make it clear to everyone here, i have not seen which means you can save money these before have a portrait of yourself. preparation and the government's >> he absolutely has not without compromising on coverage. >> i actually have that. slow and inept response. >> so, you do? where is your -- where does it one expert called it a national get more flexible data, live now >> seth: great the most reliable network, and more savings. >> we actually just moved scandal. so i have not signed off on yesterday into a new house so you'll never guess who trump >> seth: oh wow. blamed it on today >> no, no. >> so i think it's going to go >> seth: great in the bathroom. >> the obama administration made >> nope. >> seth: so tell us, guys, >> seth: oh, that's good [ laughter ] a decision on testing that what's happened so far this year plus, get $300 off when you buy a new samsung galaxy s20 ultra. >> in the downstairs powder room >> seth, you're not going to so all my guests can enjoy it. turned out to be very call, click or visit a store today. believe it detrimental to what we're doing. >> seth: okay. >> seth: i t and we undid that decision a few >> it's only march and already so much has happened that they understood that this days ago so that the testing can was obviously a prop that you now, let's start off with the ♪ needed to havecourse take place in a much more [ cheers and applause state of the union address they made several. [ laughter ] accurate and rapid fashion >> seth: there was a very >> seth: welcome back, strange thing that's happened >> seth: he actually did it. he found a way to blame the why, it's the biggest news of everybody. give it up for the 8g band right with your wardrobe this year coronavirus on baraca. over there that i want to ask about the year [ cheers and applause >> oh, my hats >> seth: okay. >> president trump gave it last >> seth: yeah. there's a lot of hats. dude, obama's been out of office month and a bunch of stuff is this a choice you made? for over three years joining us again on drums >> well, leslie schilling and i, let it go. happened during it tonight, he's currently playing now, i could tell you about it with shock rock legend the man's been wind surfing, she's the wardrobe designer. white water rafting, and from or i could show you with this alice cooper and can be heard on the looks of him, playing a the new release from the we first started with that one hollywood agent in a remake of diorama. hollywood vampires, "rise," >> seth: this one. this one, i mean "entourage." >> seth: oh wow, look at that. featuring alice and johnny depp. this is the slash, best worst [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause for more information, check out one. [ applause ] very beautiful alicecooper.com and follow him >> that's the p.t. barnum look you know, probably called >> seth: yeah. >> it's stunning on instagram >> and we started with that. "obamtourage." glen sobel is here, everybody. and then we always have a theme [ laughter ] thank you so much for being here that's just between us seriously, who's trump going to now, here's president trump and glen [ cheers and applause we don't tell anybody. blame next he's giving his speech and he's >> thanks, seth. like, one year it was, you know, hillary clinton? "i heard a rumor that one of like, "i'm the best president cowgirl. in another year it was nautical. hillary's missing emails had the who ever president-ed." >> seth: our first guest tonight is an emmy winning actor you know from his work as you know subject line, 'secret plan to and then here are the phil dunphy on abc's hit series so this year it was hats spread coronavirus.' "modern family." >> seth: got you so this is something you republicans and they're like, "four more years, four more he also lends his voice to the subtlety decide on your own. now, last night's results were new animated series, definitely a surprise and seemed years." >> yeah. >> seth: and then slowly show to unlikely just a week ago while and then over here is "duncanville," which airs sunday the audience over the course of bernie sanders, who won the brett kavanaugh and he's like, nights on fox. the season popular vote in the first three let's take a look. >> introduce it -- and larry, i mean, every now and then he states, still managed to win big "four more beers, four more notices my outfits beers." >> the recipe is not here, jack. and every now and then i'll come delegate hauls in places like [ laughter ] and then here's melania and >> i know we agreed to no small on set in something and he'll california talk, annie, but it bears look at me, he'll just be, "all joe biden catapulted from his she's giving the medal of huge victory in so blowouts in e repeating, it is unseasonably right, you look insane freedom to rush limbaugh warm in here you went too far you look insane." and then i have to change. and to the grinch. maybe she's got a popsicle >> seth: oh, really? he will make you change? darn it. so, you guys knew each other [ laughter ] only lime, orange, lemon, grape, and to skeletor. strawberry, cherry and passion from standup, but it wasn't -- i going well for him because when >> seth: oh, wow >> and then trump finally fruit. no guava mean, obviously, years later he took the stage in l.a. to >> is that what i think it is? celebrate last night, he was so finishes his speech, and giddy, he apparently confused happening. and two, he saw you again and his wife, who was on his right nancy pelosi takes it and then that's when he decided that you >> it is she does this with it. it's a philly. would be - with his sister, who was on his left >> i hadn't seen -- he moved to l.a. to do "seinfeld" and i >> by the way, this is my little have to wait till it defrosts. always stayed in new york cause sister, valerie. >> seth: please welcome to the i'm a die hard [ cheers and applause >> seth: wow and i'm jill's husband it's a tiny shredder show, ty burrell, everybody. oh, no, no [ cheers and applause as are you wait a second. >> she's so mad. ♪ >> seth: yeah, absolutely. [ laughter ] oh, you switched on me this is my wife, this is my and then, the next day, trump >> and he calls me out of sister tweeted about so much -- about nowhere one day. they switched on me. "susie, hi, it's l.d [ laughter ] [ applause ] i have a show, i want you to do >> seth: oh boy, joe it." oh boy what a good job he did that his i was like, "well, what's the you don't -- you never -- you ♪ character?" he's like, "don't worry about fingers fell off it you can do it, it's you." [ laughter ] never -- one of the first rules and then i said, "well, send me the script." of politics, you never want to >> seth: oh, wow [ laughter ] "there's no script there's no budget. confuse your wife and your that's really something, guys. >> thank you there's no money." >> seth: what would you call and i did it sister [ laughter ] that >> seth: uh-huh. unless you're starring in a >> this? >> seth: yeah. >> and that was 20 years ago >> oh, man reality show on tlc. this is a diorama. >> seth: welcome to the show >> thanks, man >> seth: 20 years ago. >> yeah. i'm glad i finally got here. >> seth: that's the -- because, now, there are a lot of >> seth: alright, that's great [ cheers and applause >> seth: you finally got here. i guess it's -- i mean, it's not >> yeah. 20 seasons because you takeaways from the results last very nice diorama, guys. >> seth: i'm so happy you've got oftentimes would take multiple night. oh, hi jenny this new show. years off. but one thing i think we can all i'm so happy that you've landed on your feet post -- post >> well, yeah, he took six years enjoy is the fact that ex-republican billionaire 11 seasons off one time >> seth: unbelievable. mike bloomberg had to drop out >> okay, seth. >> i got to make a living, you today after spending here's another big story 11 seasons of "mod know $500 million in an attempt to six years. buy the election >> seth: great, very exciting. >> yeah, thanks. >> seth: you know, it's funny >> earlier this year, the pope >> seth: i mean, it's incredible to have a show that's been on in the end, he only won one was greeting a crowd in vatican 11 years >> yeah, it's been just the contest and it wasn't even in city when one super-excited craziest gift, like truly. one of the 50 states it feels like -- kind of like >> a disappointing night for woman grabbed him and wouldn't yourself michael bloomberg. let go all the feelings so he slapped her. right? he only wo you know what i mean >> seth: yeah. but -- >> it's not me that's a real story. >> like, right at this point, >> seth: no, it's not you. american samoa and its four >> seth: wow >> is it hard to picture the closest analog i can come up >> no, yeah. >> seth: but you are, as a delegates, despite spending >> seth: it is hard to picture with is -- is graduating from comedian, you are very good at >> then take a look at this diorama. nearly $500 million. high school. yelling. >> seth: sure. >> because we've been together >> yes well, he saw me -- >> seth: that's right. >> seth: oh, wow [ cheers and applause [ scattered applause ] he only won one caucus in >> seth: yeah, that's accurate american samoa >> that's right. basically 12 years that is accurate >> seth: oh my goodness. >> seth: uh-huh. [ laughter and applause these results were so bad for >> he saw me on a roast of bloomberg, he said, "screw it" >> okay. >> and i have been feeling jerry stiller. and drank a big gulp while so here's the pope and he's like, "hello, i don't have sex"" emotionally 18, basically. smoking a cigarette inside a and then here's the crowd and >> seth: yes, a great roast. >> a great roast bar. [ laughter ] >> seth: yeah. and that was when he was like, they're like, "you're a very >> recently. like, the last scene that we oh susie could do this part. [ laughter ] bloomberg spent half a billion good man." filmed of the entire series, >> seth: yeah. >> you know, i did a roast of dollars and all he got was a and then here's a bunch of gay the man in the white house once. nationally televised atomic people and they're like, "is normally i find it pretty he?" [ laughter ] >> seth: you were at that roast? wedgie from elizabeth warren in and then here's a bunch of women challenging to get to a place >> yes >> seth: yeah. the debates. annted, we who want to take birth control where i'm sort of sobbing on >> i won't say his name because and they're like, "but is he?" camera that humanizes him >> seth: no, exactly yeah owe warren a debt of gratitude >> it's like and for single handedly annihilating and then this lady is grabbing anthropomorphizing kind of the bloomberg campaign him and she's like, "i'm your this is the first time i've ever thing. biggest fan." seen this. [ light laughter ] elizabeth warren devoured him in after a couple of takes the but, and i -- you only roast the those debates like the t-rex and he's like, "nope." director and the show runner came out and they were like, from "jurassic park. ones you love or are indifferent [ slapping ] to >> i'd like to talk about who and at the time he was just some we're running against, a "could you guys cry less?" moron on tv. >> seth: wow >> seth: absolutely. billionaire who calls women fat so it was a lot of slaps [ laughter ] >> i didn't care about him one >> yeah there was a couple more. [ slapping ] >> seth: yeah. way or the other >> seth: it's very -- i reflect broads and horse faced lesbians. >> like, could you guys just cry back on what was my indifference and then here's jesus and he's a little less? like, right now we're saying like, "please don't tell people action and then you start and, no, i'm not talking about we're friends." >> seth: okay. crying as well. >> yeah. donald trump wow. so i did it. and i remember my first line -- >> what do you think i'm talking about mayor bloomberg. [ laughter ] [ laughter ] it was a luncheon, and i said, >> seth: that's really great what would you guys call this? and then you keep crying, and "donald, did you enjoy your [ roaring >> i think i would call it, if i then we yell cut and we actually lunch? had to choose a word, a diorama. wrote some stuff that you need i hear your hair ordered the [ cheers and applause to say salmon." [ laughter ] >> seth: and honestly, honestly >> seth: right, you know, actual but speaking of the hand i'm just shocked he did so >> seth: oh, absolutely. [ cheers and applause dialogue >> yeah. yeah washing, you know, he's a absolutely >> seth: i imagine there's all germaphobe these sort of good-byes, right >> seth: he is a germaphobe. >> beautiful >> yeah. yes. >> you know, and another line i >> meanwhile, in sports news - >> seth: there's still this poorly because bloomberg is such good-bye coming where the rest of us will see the end had was -- i don't remember a talented charismatic >> seth: okay. >> the houston a exactly but it was something like, "everybody thinks you you know >> yeah, right, right, right politician >> seth: then you guys film the end. don't shake hands because you're here he was yesterday on the scandal recently when people and then you also, i would a germaphobe, but i think it's campaign trail busting out some imagine, the time you're all really that you jerk off s found out that they've been together is the table read, much, you consider anything else very advanced spanish during ats stealing signs from opposing right? cheating." >> yes absolutely [ laughter and applause teams -- >> seth: i heard about this. >> seth: you know there are people that aren't around for >> and using elaborate methods certain scenes >> you spent a lot of time in to communicate those signs to what w texas. what'd you - their batters. >> seth: uh-huh. >> now let's see what that because it wasn't thnal -- and then he became all that. >> what'd you say? looked like with this diorama. >> seth: sure. >> seth: yeah, and then you >> seth: wow >> thing, i don't know that we launched him on this wonderful were expecting it to be as career >> that's spanish for texas. >> okay. look at this emotional as it was. all right. is it hard for you to yell at [ cheers and applause >> yeah, wow is right. especially when you're sitting across from the writing staff who, you know, has been the people -- you talk about >> seth: oh, really. now, here's the astros and roasting the people you love driving force of the show for obviously on the show you yell at larry all the time. thanks a lot, miguel they're playing the nationals. that's spanish for michael and the nationals' catcher 11 seasons and have worked twice >> yes >> seth: you yell at jeff. [ laughter ] flashes the signal to the as hard as we have >> yes, yes. it's a delight so the short lived bloomberg it really did get emotional. >> seth: it is a delight >> yes experiment is now at the end, pitcher and then the astros >> seth: was it hard in the beginning? thanks in large part to and when we were finished, ed because you are so mean. elizabeth warren catch that signal on this video >> yes, yes. yeah and now after the super tuesday it was very hard results, the race is narrowed to camera and then that feed goes led a standing ovation and ed and larry -- the first episode two candidates, biden and into this tv monitor doesn't like to stand in in season one where i really had sanders. and, for the voters and the general. to yell at them, larry kept pulling me over, it's like, "go media, there seems to be one >> seth: got you [ laughter ] further, go further." over whelming obsession in this >> seth: uh-huh. >> and then that causes this sure >> like, in life, ed doesn't and i was like, "i think i'm race like to stand. doing -- going really far player to bang on a trash can >> seth: kind of a famous -- one already." a word you've heard >> electabi of our most famous sitting and then he was like, "make fun actors, ed o'neil. of jeff's fat." and then that cues this player >> that's true and i was like, larry, "i don't one of the great - >> seth: one of the great want to do that. to release a carrier pigeon. sitters. yeah i don't like to make fun of by democratic voters over and [ laughter ] people's physical characteristics. above any policy issue and he has a message and he in television history. >> i mean, has anybody sat like i think it's cheap and low." >> the race clearly is about him? he was like, "just do it just do it flies up -- he flies >> seth: yeah, like maybe -- maybe carrol o'connor in "all in he knows you're acting." the family." so that's when i first called electability >> yeah. >> seth: but i would say the two him a fat you know what. >> yes >> this has been about the carrier pigeon, he flies of them are the best sitters >> seth: yeah. electability since day one up -- yeah -- he flies on the -- >> i mean just think about all the car scenes with edcut >> that was like, then the genie >> the electability argument was out of the bottle. he flies >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] >> his electability argument >> seth: yeah, okay, greatps li >> and then i couldn't contain myself >> i have the electability case. >> seth: do people on the street >> the electability question of want you to curse at them? the evening. before he got out of the car >> yes >> seth: yeah. >> it's about that electability. [ laughter ] >> no, he never -- i mean >> yeah, and it's a little annoying >> people keep talking about >> seth: yeah. >> because, it's like, i don't electability note that says, "curve ball. nobody's ever seen him on his >> all they're focused on is feet >> seth: yeah, i know. go to their job and say, "can i electability [ laughter ] >> you never seen him on his feet >> electability. >> electability. >> seth: wow >> seth: no, absolutely not. >> electability. >> but yeah, so it ended up see you carry a column over," i >> electability. >> now, here are baseball fans being really emotional you're an accountant >> seth: i'm pretty sure and they're like, "we have neve >> seth: that's fantastic. [ laughter ] electability is wolf blitzer's you -- this show sort of you know, but they want me to do my job just for free safe word which is interesting he's like, "i have." happened for you -- i remember i'm because mine is wolf blitzer we first met when you were doing -- [ laughter ] >> yeah, yes, yes. [ laughter ]'re still talking a now, when i told our legal >> seth: i think an off-broadway play right before this show department that we were making a started. tell you to [ bleep ] off. >> yes, that's right yeah >> seth: so you had this -- this >> right, exactly. >> seth: just wait for that. diorama about how the astros sort of maybe a little later in >> you said it, not me >> seth: exactly electability three years into cheated, they made me add this the presidency of the least your career than you expect to well, it's an honor to say it in front of you electable person in the history have a show that ran this long [ applause ] thank you so much for being >> yeah, yeah. >> seth: what was your first here congrats on another great of elections [ laughter and applause entry into -- you know, the series >> my pleasure seth. i mean, donald trump is like a lab experiment where a bunch of first time you got an agent thank you. >> seth: susie essman, >> seth: wow everybody. scientists got together and fantastic, guys. like "curb your enthusiasm" airs tried to create the most really, really well done >> i had a rough -- i had a sunday nights on hbo >> thank you rough entry. we'll be right back. unelectable candidate possible like, i -- when i -- it was [ cheers and applause i mean, they combine the racism >> seth: yeah. >> and that's a diorama. ♪ of george wallace with the here in fact, i think about it every ♪ >> seth: wow time i go through times square corruption of bernie madoff, the wow. because i had moved here, you trench coat of a mob boss, and [ cheers and applause the tan line of a hairless sphinx >> all right next up. >> seth: okay. relationshiplf in awesome internet. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> brad pitt and jennifer aniston ran into each the point is we have no way of knowing who's the most new york and this woman that i electable. other recently at the was dating kindly enough set up just vote for whoever you think would make the best president. s.a.g. awards. >> seth: yeah. so now democratic party leaders >> you guys know what i'm talking about. a meeting with her agent and it [ cheers and applause >> seth: right was a legitimate agent have rallied around biden as the >> and when brad saw jen, he it was like a real agent supposedly electable alternative grabbed her wrist and everyone it wasn't like a "broadway to bernie sanders. freaked out and was like, "oh, danny rose" situation several former candidates came >> seth: right >> so i was nervous. out in the waning hours before my god are they getting back together"" i put on, like, my cool clothes super tuesday to close ranks now, this is just a little which was like, my black t-shirt around biden story, so i explained it with and at a rally for biden in this pocket diorama. and black pants which has never it's more than just fast. texas, former congressman been cool. beto o'rourke even busted out >> seth: ooh, a pocket diorama >> seth: no. >> ever. it keeps all your devices running smoothly. [ laughter ] [ laughter ] >> seth: it is a good way to some of his trademark spanish. say, i'm an actor. >> just a little pocket diorama. >> seth: okay. >> yeah, totally with built-in securityth . >> we have now seen, even in >> so here's brad pitt and >> seth: who right after this just the last 24 hours, this cascade has to go be a waiter. ...no matter what they're up to. here's jen and you can see [ laughter ] of critical endorsements coming they're on a red carpet. it protects your info... to back joe biden in what has >> seth: uh-huh. >> i'm not saying -- i'm not >> and then brad is like, "hey, saying i was wearing capizios, ...and gives you 24/7 peace of mind... amounted to a really rapid reset jen. wait up." and there's this, like, tension but i'm also not saying i in thi between them >> seth: sure, sure, sure. wasn't >> can you feel the tension? >> seth: well, i can see it, >> seth: right sure yeah you don't want to commit either way. yeah, yeah, yeah >> yeah, you can see it. you can feel it. >> today i am ending my campaign >> but anyway so, i -- and then finally, he grabs her wrist and -- ...that if it's connected, it's protected. i ended up going up, and meeting can your internet do that? and endorsing joe biden for >> seth: ooh and sat down with a gentleman at xfinity xfi can because it's... president. >> sparks really fly the agency who looked at my [ cheers and applause >> seth: wow ...simple, easy, awesome. >> i'm delighted to endorse and >> yeah. >> seth: that's fantastic. [ barking ] resume which had, like, maybe support joe biden for president. two or three regional theater >> yeah. [ cheers and applause [ cheers and applause and it's like, hot, right? credits, and you know basically set it down, and sort of looking >> on behalf of every one of the you can feel there's like some heat between them? >> seth: no, i can still feel the heat 254 counties of this great >> can you feel it >> seth: yeah, yeah, yeah. me up and down heartso, protect them with any dheartgard plus. state, we welcome dr. jill biden >> can you feel it >> seth: i can >> you know how hot it is between them and began telling me all of the just one real beef chew, once a month, >> seth: how [ audience oohs every month will keep them safe all year round. [ laughter ] things that were wrong with me and vice president joe biden - physically digestive and neurological side effects >> seth: wow have rarely been reported. >> i waited till your hand >> he was like -- he was like, "so yeah, so your eyebrows are moved. ask your vet about heartgard plus. >> seth: yeah, thank you too big for television thank you very much, jenny [ light laughter ] >> seth: and i guess it makes and now what would you call and your features are really too sense beto would bust out some that spanish because after all he was >> two things. in - i would call it a fire hazard big for film." and i would call it a diorama. and meanwhile, you know, he's [ laughter ] just confirming my own self loathing >> seth: a diorama >> seth: yeah, yeah. >> i'm like, "yeah, uh-huh." [ cheers and applause >> seth: you weren't - right. >> seth: so, the so-called wow. that's great bye, guys. you didn't go in going like, moderates -- the so-called "wait till he sees these eyebrows." moderates in the party joined >> and finally, let's be honest, [ laughter ] >> yeah. no seth i was like, nailed it. forces to stop bernie, which the biggest story of the year so prompted cable news pundits to far was when prince harry and he's like, "you got a weird lean on any relevant pop culture chin." i'm like, "it's a joke." meghan markle announced that reference they could think of. they are stepping back from but, anyway, so he -- he first cnn tried a riff on the their roles in the royal family avengers and moving to canada >> what we saw last night is something i have to say i have >> seth: right >> now, you can learn all about this in this diorama never seen before. this sea of endorsements by are you willing to shave your >> seth: oh, my god. arms?" former candidates all at the look at this alright. last minute before a key day [ applause ] which i was like -- and i was so >> yeah, you're dang right look at it desperate to get an agent that i pete buttigieg, amy klobuchar, beto o'rourke, all endorsing okay, so here's prince harry and joe biden. was like, "absolutely." >> it was the great modern here's meghan markle avengers [ talking over each other >> seth: uh-huh. >> and they're like, "we are out of here." like, "i'm dying to shave my now, over here is kate middleton arms [ laughter ] >> avengers. >> who cares about the - are you kidding? >> yeah, we're talking avengers. and she's like, "please take me i'm looking for an excuse to it was all of them combined with you." shave my arms. together to get the stones from [ laughter ] this is great." thanos >> seth: okay. and he said, "great. i thought thanos was trump but apparently it's >> and then over here is the british press and they're like, bernie sanders shave your arms and get new head >> seth: all right, first of all, bernie is definitely not thanos "who are we going to write second, if the moderates are the racist stuff about now?" shots and come back and we'll have another conversation." avengers, that would make then i kind of slinked out of joe biden chris evans at the end >> seth: okay. >> and then over here is a bunch the office and went downstairs of "end game." of corgis and they're like, "don't you think these people into times square and i was, you [ laughter ] are a little too into us?" and then there were republican [ light laughter ] pundits like former bush >> seth: okay. know, just kind of like, administration official and iraq >> now, harry and meghan didn't give queen elizabeth a heads up war champion david frum who used mortified and devastated [ cheers and applause this insulting analogy to that they were going to make and i was standing there and as >> seth: my thanks to describe the difference between this big announcement, so here's i was standing there, i had a ty burrell, susie essman, glen sobel, and of course the biden and bernie v what she looked like when she 8g band. little accident in my drawers. heard it who pay their cable bills on the i -- i soiled myself stay tuned for "lilly singh. see you tomorrow day it arrives [ cheers and applause bernie sanders appeals to people >> seth: you did >> yeah. [ light laughter ] ♪ who may forget to pay their and i remember thinking -- i cable bill entirely. ♪ >> seth: all right, not only is that insulting but also who needs cable anymore? remember thinking really just cut the cord. ♪ you know, personally all i watch clearly, huh adult channels so this is the bottom. [ laughter ] although hustler tv does have this is it some great election coverage on ♪ their political roundtable show, >> seth: yeah, that's the bottom >> this is it. "erect-ability." [ applause ] [ laughter ] >> seth: i mean, they do say if you're going to soil yourself, times square is as good of a place -- [ applause ] [ laughter ] >> i mean, it's amazing. >> seth: cause you're probably ♪ only half a block from someone else who's like, "i'm also there, buddy." and then cnn tried a different >> i mean, elm analogy to offer perspective >> seth: elmo probably, yeah ♪ >> statue of liberty, soiled from the bernie side by citing himself. >> seth: soiled himself, yeah, exactly. "star wars." >> i'm hearing a lot of joy and you, this is no joke, this is a also a lot of pain from, you terrifying thing that happened ♪ know, different sets of friends. to you on the one hand, i think there's i guess it's probably about, what, five, six years ago. >> oh, yeah, yeah. a joy that there has been this >> seth: there was an email consolidation for the moderate hack >> yeah, yeah. >> seth: and you were one of the celebrities who had your email lane >> daniel: tonight on "a little but on the other hand, you do have another set of democrats hacked >> yeah. late with lilly singh" - yeah, like, seven or eight years >> lilly: i have to read my book who feel like this is the empire for the audio version. striking back. ago i got a call -- there was and even i was like, "read a this person who was hacking book that's so boring."ri hayes and >> seth: i'm not sure i'd celebrity emails, and he was describe the moderates as the empire arrested and i got a call from jo koy if you gave joe biden a lightsaber, he'd immediately cut an fbi detective saying you were [ cheers and applause his own leg off and make a bunch how would you describe your parenting styles of dad jokes about it. are you cool parents one of the people who was >> my son keeps telling i'm not. "how'd i do that well, i'm stumped. hacked i'm like, "i'm cooler than you." [ laughter ] and it really freaked me out [ laughter ] my wife liked it it was kind of crazy >> i'm alwaytrce my family to come visit me on oh, my sister. and he said -- you know, in this set. [ laughter ] our two daughters, 10 and 12, so the race is now dramatically phone call i was like, "so why"" are sitting there with the changed from where it was just headsets on. but i hadn't thought it through. one week ago with biden ahea why is this guy hacking people's and we just turned almost emails directly to the camera and and the detective was like, screamed, "[ bleep ] you." as we tape this, it's now a "well, he's selling information. two- he was selling information." [ laughter ] they're just there with their he was selling it to the headsets on like - tabloids [ laughter and applause he was selling photographs and emails and i was like, wow. >> daniel: coming up - [ applause ] by the zombies ] so what did he sell of mine? and he was like -- [ light laughter ] nothing. [ laughter ] and i was like, what do you mean nothing? and he was like, "he couldn't find any takers. [ laughter ] >> seth: it wasn't for a lack of effort >> no. and i was like, "wait he was actively trying to sell my information and nobody wanted it?" he was like, "well, mr. burrell, i've read through all the evidence and frankly, you're pretty vanilla." [ laughter ] and i went from feeling like a victim to being super defensive. ♪ it's the time of the season ♪ >> seth: yeah. >> i was like, i think you need to go back through those emails. >> seth: yeah. go back through may 2002 >> oh yeah >> seth: there's some stuff. >> there's some stuff. somebody missed my chili recipe. [ laughter ] cause i don't think everybody's putting nutmeg in that you know >> seth: well, i'm glad you avoided the worst of that. >> yes yeah, yeah >> seth: and congrats on this new show >> thanks. >> seth: this is mike scully, fantastic writer >> yes >> seth: his wife -- is it, judy >> julie >> seth: julie and amy poehler all involved in the show >> amazing >> seth: and it is genuinely so great to have you here congrats on the amazing run on - >> thanks, man thank you. >> seth: ty burrell. "duncanville" airs sunday nights on fox we'll be right back with susie essman [ cheers and applause ♪ ♪ it every night. every night. i live alone, but i still do it every night. right after dinner. definitely after meatloaf. like clockwork. do it! run your dishwasher every night with cascade platinum. a load with as few as 8 dishes, is all it takes to save water. an energy star certified dishwasher uses less than four gallons per cycle. while handwashing uses that, every two minutes. so, do it. run your dishwasher every night with cascade platinum. the surprising way to save water. become a celebrityhat sort accountant?"ould i tell them, "nobody should." that's what they pay me for. not enough, though. not nearly enough. 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