Out, that you requecan bring a y on the plane. According to the tsa, its okay to pack a cooked turkey in your carryon bag. Mashed potatoes are allowed. And as much gravy as you can fit in a 3ounce shampoo bottle is allowed. Previously, you had to get a note from your doctor saying it was a comfort animal. Why is this an announcement . Who carries a turkey on the plane . If you have to fly with your own turkey, maybe you should rethink where youre going. Mothers cooking is that bad . Order chinese food. Thanksgiving is the day we drink all day and then blame the turkey for making us sleepy. And one of the many things we give thanks for at this time is our nations local newscasters who really know how to get us in the holiday spirit. Hhhlllllll. Lllll. Gobble, gobble, gobble. Blllll. Balk balk balk. Gobble, gobble. Jimmy more than 20 million americans are facing Winter Weather warnings which will lightly lead to flightlatio cancellations and delays. Theres a Flash Flood Warning and were on fire again. It could get bad in new york. The macys thanksgiving day parade could kind up in new jersey this year. They might have to ground the float te floats at the parade. It is not good. Cant President Trump use his magic weather sharpie to scribble out the storms and [cheers and applause] throw some sun in there . You know donald trump wants to get his poll numbers up, i was thinking about it today, he should institute a travel ban for thanksgiving week. Nobodys allowed to go anywhere. Sorry, mom, i was looking forward to my connecting flight to akron to sleep in a childsized bed, but its illegal now. Our yamheaded president is headed to maralago. He pardoned two turkeys and i think a Kentucky Fried Chicken while he was at it. He seemed to relish this very silly annual tradition. Today we also come together to honor the beautiful feathered friend, the noble turkey. Now thats a beauty. Butter, i wish you a lot of luck, but i hereby grants you a full and complete pardon. [ applause ] jimmy for what . Those turkeys should be pardoning him, by the way. Not the other way around. [cheers and applause] hes, yesterday the president signed the womens Suffrage Centennial commemorative coin act to establish a coin honoring the 100th anniversary of a womans right to vote. Youre not going to believe this. Somehow he found a way to make that event about him. [ applause ] so, and they have, theyve been working on this for years and years, and im curious, why wasnt it done a long time ago . And also, i guess the answer to that is because now im president , we get things done. We get a lot of things done that nobody else got done. Jimmy yeah, yeah, well, nothing screams equal rights like a woman in a beauty pageant sash. Put that back up there for a second. There you go. I love that he asks why didnt they do this a long time ago. Mr. President , the word centennial means quiet, im sweating hes the best. In other landmark news. [cheers and applause] you know how he said i was going to build a wall and mexico was going to pay for it . He hasnt and they wont. With the election coming up he really wants to get this going. When you want something done, who do you turn to . Thats right, none other than jai jair ed kushner. He is now in charge of the wall. And what he lacks in wallbuilding experience, he also lacks in everything else. Wasnt he supposed to be bringing peace to the middle east . Did we give up on that . This is good, too. You remember jim baker . He is the disgraced teleadvanta tell advantagist. Good news. Hes back. And he has some earthshattering information to share. Do you want to see a chart that will blow your mind . I just got this from one of my news men here in the staff. You see that . You see what this is . This is the lowest earthquake, look, were going along with earthquakes. This is earthquakes. And then look at, look at down here. Amazing. You know what that is . Thats the election of donald trump. Why would there be a dip in the earthquakes at the time of the election . Why would there be less earthquakes there . Jimmy why would, why did it go all the way up at the end . Thats the question i want answered. And by the way, the chart, its one of those [cheers and applause] it isnt even slightly accurate. This is an accurate chart of earthquakes during the time period. So someone made the other one up to prove once and for all that people i guess who watch jim baker arent very smart. Meanwhile, theres big impeachment news today. We learned the Trump Administration officially put aid to ukraine on hold the same day as his infamous call to the ukrainian president , and he didnt release that aid until after he found out about the whistleblower kplaint, and yet 50 of americans are still on the fence. Everyone knows what happened. Theres not a Single Person involved in this, not in congress, the white house, media, who doesnt know trump shook down ukraine for political dirt. His chief of staff admitted it and said we should get over it, and yet the democrats are still building a case, like this is is an episode of the good wife or something. We know who done it. Its the large orange man screaming at reporters on the white house lawn. [ applause ] but a nnew polls from cnn claim only half of americans want him impeached and removed. This is what trumps son eric tweeted during the impeachment hearing. It is a perfect day for a nice bottle of this, these people are insane, trump winery. You have to hand it to them. They have no shame at all. Most families might see as humiliation they see as marketing opportunity. Extorting our allies, denying climate change, separating families, telling more than 13,000 lies in office. Sucking up to dictators, validating nazis, employing white supremacists, and tearing the fabric of our democracy apart, this thanksgiving, make time for trump wine. Because ivanka went bankrupt. Jimmy its the wine that leaves a stain on everything. [cheers and applause] we have a good show for you tonight. We have music tonight from Bishop Briggs. Andrew yang is here. And well be right back with laura dern. Both of them are working hard to defeat dinosaurs. You know thanksgiving over the years has given rise to spinoff holidays. Some people have friends giving which is like thanksgiving except with people you choose to eat with. This year,ive abe ive been ale what might be the worst holiday of all, works giving. Its like thanksgiving at work. Like regular thanksgiving but youre in a Conference Room eating giblets next to someone from hr. People have been posting photos of work giving. Make sure to view the heimlich poster. You have the folding tables and cubicles. Its like the Norman Rockwell painting but sad. Hey, everybody, we have burgers and soup jrks um, okay, that looks fun. Great bean casserole, mary, can i be finished yet . And the chairs say success, but the mood says otherwise. This is a very sad new tradition. This has nothing to do with thanksgiving. Please stop doing this at work. This, to me, this video captures the spirit of thanksgiving. Maybe more than any video ive ever seen. Great. First time frying a turkey. Stay inside, please. Stay inside. Stay inside, get inside right now jrks oh, mygod. Thats every thanksgiving emotion rolled up into one. Jun ju jo. Jimmy as im carving the turkey, i say, so, whos everybody voting for . All the nonsense in washington, thanksgiving with your family might be difficult this year. So to help avoid any unwanted drama, to get you ready for anything, weve invited a special guest to the show tonight. Please welcome, your uncle. Hello, uncle. Uncle . [cheers and applause] hey, there, sport, happy thanksgiving. Jimmy you, too. Can i still say that . Or is it happy indigenous day . Jimmy you can still say that. I was wondering if you would help us out. More liberals looking for handouts, s handouts. We uncles have real doozies. Jimmy like what . Well talk about what youd expect, the chooimt change hoax, aoc biscuits. And well dip back into topics you thought were dead, like benghazi. And the fact that most lesbian are witches. Jimmy what . Witches . Ever seen a lesbian float . Jimmy what are you talking about . Oh, its not even christmas yet, and we already have a snowflake, well, well, well. Look, its called free speech. I thought you lefty oat milk lovers were all about the constitution. Oh, hey, and speaking of the constitution, did you know theres nothing in there thats saying i have to pay taxes . Jimmy well, pretty sure theres something that says you have to pay taxes, uncle. Dont conde sescend me, you furki, nipple sucker. Jimmy lets stick to what you have in store for thanksgiving dinner, okay . I dont want to give away too much. But lets just say i have it on Good Authority that the mexicans helped hillary win in 2016. Jimmy but hillary didnt win in 2016. Read the transcript, l liberace. Jimmy did you know we almost didnt invite you over for dinner this year . What . Im your uncle. You should cherish the time we have left. Jimmy well, did i have a heart condition. Jimmy you have a heart condition . Youre damn right i do, and you probably do, too. Its hereditary. It was spread through grandpa jerrys sperm sack after he got vaccinated. Jimmy thanks, uncle, ill see you at moms. Bye, bu bye, buddy, oj. Killed jeffrey epstein. Jimmy tonight on the show, music from Bishop Briggs. Andrew yang is here. And well be right back with laura dern. Abcs Jimmy Kimmel Live, brought to you by necessary press owe. Ire . My lord . Hey good knight. Where are you going . Climbing up on Solsbury Hill grab your things, salutations. Coffee that is a cup above is always worth the quest. Nespresso. Tis all i desire. Did thou bring enough for the whole kingdom . George nespresso, what else . Oh, ho oh, ho, ho, ho you. You got me. Uh, what do you want . Ive got uh, ai robots, ive got vr goggles. I want your sled, please. No. [ chuckles ] timmy. Itd be a shame if this went viral. For those who never compromise. The mercedesbenz winter event. Whoa. He was pretty good this year. Kermit Fozzie youre on my tv Kermit Fozzie and youre on my tv dr. Teeth and im on both your tvs. miss piggy and of course, moi is on tv. Statler Waldorf nobody cares hahaha dr. Teeth woah woah woah. How are we all on each others tvs . animal me on tv fozzie oh i believe i have the answer. You see. miss piggy the thing on the tv is a portal tv and it lets you video call. all on your tv dr. Teeth ah animal me on tv hahahaha fozzie vo portal. From facebook. Oh, this is cool. Look at this. Alright, were gonna put all this on a plate and. Save on hundreds of black friday doorbusters this thursday through saturday only. Doors open 5pm, thursday. Dont miss the biggest doorbusters of the season. Black friday, only at target. [cheers and applause] jimmy tonight, he is hoping to become the first u. S. President to not ever wear a tie. Democratic candidate andrew yang is here. [cheers and applause] then later, this is her album called champion. Bishop briggs from the mercedesbenz outdoor stage. Our first guest is an oscarnominated, emmy and golden globewinning actress, who takes on the most terrifying role of her career. Divorce lawyer. Marriage story is in select theaters now and premieres on netflix a week from friday. Please welcome laura dern. [cheers and jimmy very good to see you. Oh, my gosh. The energy. Jimmy whats your thanksgiving plan . Whats the dern family plan for thanksgiving . Well, it might be going to your house. Jimmy oh, really . What happened. Youre going to help me figure this out right now. Jimmy do you not have a plan . Oh, no, my house is a horror film right now. Jimmy in what ways . My daughter has 104, my son 102. I have two dogs, one tore her hamstring, the other has a pinched nerve. Jimmy dogs have hamstrings . Who knew. No ones sleeping. Its a nightmare. Our plans are changing, and i hear you love to cook. Jimmy this sounds like the beginning of a hallmark holiday movie. It is. Jimmy the day the flu decimated the derns. Its a nightmare. Jimmy they should be hopefully better by thursday, right . I think cooking is too much for me, so if you guys are comfortable. And your uncle seems like wed have an enjoyable conversation. Jimmy my uncle is the best. I only wish he was my uncle. I know, hes the best. Jimmy most people know your dads bruce dern, your moms diane ladd. Legendary actors both, famous people both. What was thanksgiving like . Would Jack Nicholson come over with a bottle of cold duck and string bean casserole . What went on at your house . Something like that, believe it or not. And it was always entertaining, and it continues to be. Theyve since divorced, but now we are this large and wonderful family that comes together. Jimmy you get together anyway. Yeah, they are both remarried. And last thanksgiving, as example, is like a true, kind of dernladd combo thanksgiving. My mom brings us to a gratitude prayer and talks about what we are grateful for and what we wish for on the planet and amongst our family, and then p know what to share, and my son ellery says share something about your experience. Interesting you brought that up. Do you know the story of the manson murders . And tells then ti entire manson murder story to my children at thanksgiving. Jimmy wow. Did the kids like hearing that . Oh, it was very entertaining. Jimmy maybe this is why theyre pretending to have the flu this year. It could be. Please, mom, ask jimmy kimmel if we can come camp out. Jimmy by the way, did you meet andrew yang . I didnt meet him. Jimmy your son is a fan of andrew yangs. Yes, how gorgeous is it that there is a generation of kids and teens watching these debates. Theyre so fired up. My 14 year old daughteractivist wants to, please, god, find a grownup who will create gun safety in this country. So shes listening to all the candidates and excited. And my sons very excited, because he just turned 18. And hes like, mom, its very interesting what andrew yang is talking b 1,0 talking about. 1,000 a month. Okay, ellery, but you have to listen to the entire platform. He said mom, i want to start a brand, 1,000 a month. That does mean he can start his own clothing brand. Hes very excited. Jimmy how old is he . Hes 18. Jimmy if i was 18 and heard 1,000 a month, i would be like, all right, im going to get ten buddies, well get a house, well have 10,000 a month and well never leave it, snyou kno . They love andrew yang. Jimmy Jeff Goldblum was here last week. You were part of the original cast, those that were not eaten by the dinosaurs are returning for this. What is a story that we do not know about the shooting of that movie . Do you have like a nugget that weve not heard before . I mean, it was time of our life, although we did survive a hurricane. Hurricane iniki on the island of kauai, which is kracrazy. Jimmy were you there when it hit. It was devastating and amazing, shocking to go through. We were quad ronned off. We didnt have time to go to higher ground. So we were nut a conference area of the hotel we were in. And steven spielberg, our director and i were kind of going through the kitchen area where they had like those meat locker doors, and it was blown off its hinges as we were going through this corridor, and we thrown up against a wall, and ill never forget seeing everything go sideways. Palm trees. Pieces of cars, roofs of houses. And it was insane. And amazingly, that Community Came together, and our crew was amazing. And people survived it. Jimmy this is incredible. It was amazing. Then we were there, i think within 24 hours of the hurricane, they put us in groups. And i was with jeff and steven. And i will never forget those moments of sort of being given a box of food and a bottle of water to sort of share and quad ronned off in the one area of the hotel that was still standing, and after many hours, oh, and they gave us a flashlight. And after many hours steven just sort of entertained us, made me realize what a kons matz film mak maker he is, because it was late at night, and he took the flashlight and held it up to my face in the darkness and to light me kind of beautifully from this angle and terrifyingly from this angle he went love story, horror film. Love story, horror film. [ laughter ] in the midst of a hurricane, guys, he will make a very cool movie. Jimmy laura dweern is here. Dicky portions of Jimmy Kimmel Live are brought to you by sams club, where you can shop faster than the fastest with scanandgo. Repeat after me. Hi am grateful. Audience i am grateful. I am getting all the gifts this holiday. This wednesday through friday, everythings fifty percent off plus, this thursday and friday only, get one dollar cozy socks you get all the gifts only, at old navy. Black friday week at sprint is speaking of magic,ime. I turned my iphone 6s into the new iphone 11. Its true, trade in an iphone 6s or newer in any condition and youll get the powerful new iphone 11 for just 0 a month when you switch to sprint. Yeah, an iphone 6s for an iphone 11. Or trade in your beloved iphone 7, trusty iphone 8, amazing iphone x. Take them all to 11. See, i told you, magic. At 20 to 60 off Department Store prices. Most stores are open thanksgiving, 6pm to midnight. Reopening friday at 7am. With extended hours saturday and sunday. Yes for less. With extended hours saturday and sunday. Case in point, if you saviget xfinity internetle. And mobile together, big savings on your wireless bill. Write this down, this is important. Amy, this is actually a life saving class. What a nice compliment, thank you save on fast internet and the best Wireless Network together. What can i say, i love what i do. Thats simple, easy, awesome. Get xfinity internet and mobile together and save hundreds on your wireless bill. Youll get unlimited talk and text and no activation or line fees. Switch today. Your sister stopped borrowing your sweaters . Yeah thats yes for less. Stop stealing mine. Never. Holiday gifts everyones sure to love at 20 to 60 percent off Department Store prices. At ross. Yes for less. Should be egypt easy. Then the judge makes your divorce official. [ bleep ] me. What . Whos that . Shouldnt have done that. What do you mean . Wheres burt . That means everything weve agreed to is off the table. Its going away, isnt it . No. This is a street fight now. And i have to ask for things we wouldnt normally ask for. The system rewards bad behavior. Jimmy thats laura dern and scarlett johansson. Marriage story is in select theaters. It is very realistic. Im amazed by the movie. I feel so lucky to be part of it. Its a Perfect Piece of art. And the director said i want to make a love story, and i think i want to make it through the lens of divorce, which i thought was an incredible way, because there is such a deep love story in it. And you learn a lot about how the business of divorce takes trajectory of what could have been two people trying to figure it out for a child. Jimmy did you base your character on a divorce lawyer you know or met . A few. We met a few in l. A. And new york. And its a very interesting to watch, and a maledominated business. And a couple women, how they will work the system with their power and maybe their femininity. Noah took a lot of license to create this character but they taught me a lot about the system and what is so broken in it. Jimmy youre the favorite to win the oscar for this. Its a little early, but the las vegas odds. Well, i mean vegas, does that mean you get to go to vegas if jimmy vegas is open all the time. Oh, really . Jimmy anyone can go there at any time. Youre not discriminated at all. Its not only open 9 00 to 5 00 . Jimmy this would be your third nomination, your mom has three. How many does your dad have . I think two or three. Jimmy you have a lot in your family, more than in my family, for sure. That brings me to this. What year did this happen . I was 7. Jimmy you were 7 years old. My mom was nominated for a scorsese film, alice doesnt live here anymore. Jimmy did you appreciate it . Or did you just not want to be there . There was so much sound, noise, that that scared me. And two things came out of it. One, ill never forget the feeling of my mom taking peoples appreciation for her work and realizing, oh, my mom gets to do a job she loves, and i hope one day i get to grow up to do a job i love. That was the good thing. The bad news is i had to go to the bathroom by myself, because my mom had to stay in her seat. An actress who was a little older than me, i stepped on her dress by accident, she got really mad at me and i cried. Jimmy is this someone who shes super famous. Jimmy have you ever run into her and told her the story . I dont hold grudges, but i was incredibly rude to her when i saw her. Like 30 years late ir, yr, you think i could let it go. Jimmy if youre mean to a child, youre rotten to a core my point one day, one day. At thanksgiving. Ill tell your uncle. Jimmy next time you come my uncle would love to hear the name. Its great to see you. The movies terrific. Marriage story is in select theaters now and premieres on netflix a week from friday. Well be right back. [cheers and applause] well, maybe not forever. Doors open 2pm thursday. Save on sweaters. Air fryers. Diamonds. And up to 30 off nike for the family sale ends saturday jcpenney hey, need a laptop that boots up as fast as 6 seconds when youre running late . Shhhh. [whispering] its switching time. How about a battery that lasts up to 12 hours . [bell rings] order up now were cooking. Or how about one with virus protection built in . Which. Would be helpful. Right. About. Now. Yeah, if you want all that, switch to chromebook. makeawish volunteer ok, hes coming,y cmon cmon. Ing here we go. little santa somali. Alika . little santa wheres kiara . little santa i got this for you. vo when you grant a childs wish, you change lives. vo you can choose makeawish to get two hundred and fifty dollars from subaru when you get a new subaru. vo 2 get 0. 9 during the subaru share the love event. Mom. Another spiral ham,nging and bob evans mashed potatoes. Ricky, aisle 10 and 4 on your way back. Got it mom oh, so cute fozzie ma mom oh honeybear fozzie hey, im trying some new material. You think i can run one past you . mom oh of course, dear. fozzie good good good. [clears throat] so, why do bears wear fur coats . Because wed look silly in sweaters ahhhh mom wocka wocka. fozzie wocka wocka, ma. fozzie vo portal. From facebook. I am totally blind. And non24 can throw my days and nights out of sync, keeping me from the things i love to do. Talk to your doctor, and call 8442142424. Save on hundreds of black friday doorbusters this thursday through saturday only. Doors open 5pm, thursday. Dont miss the biggest doorbusters of the season. Black friday, only at target. Jimmy welcome back. Andrew yang and Bishop Briggs are on the way, but first, as you know, Holiday Shopping can take forever. Luckily, our friends at sams club came up with a way to make shopping faster than ever before. Tammy guessleman here at sams club with the fastest man of all time, usain bolt, who just became the fastest shopper of all time, how did you do it . I owe it all to my mentor, coach g. Thats right. Coach g, how did you push usain to a historic achievement . First, i train his body. Faster, faster, i say faster. Then name ten holiday foods. Pumpkin pie, turkey. Focus, focus. And most importantly, i show him sams club scan and go, so he can scan items as he [cheers and applause] well, congratulations to you, usain. No, congratulations to us. No, congratulations to me pick me up and cheer. Come on, guys, pick my up dicky learn more at scan and go challenge. Com and download the sams club app today. Start with tapaz. Oh, its tapas. Tapas. Get out of town. Its like eating dinner with your parents. Sandra, are you in school . Yes, im in art school. Oh, wow. So have you thought about how youre gonna make money . At least were learning some new things. We bundled our home and auto with progressive, saved a bunch. Oh, we got a wobbler. Progressive cant protect you from becoming your parents, but we can protect your home and auto when you bundle with us. Thats what the extra menus for. When you bundle with us. The roomba i7 with cleanng base automatic dirt disposal and allergenlock™ bags that trap 99 of allergens, so they dont escape back into the air. If its not from irobot, its not a roomba™ only tylenol® rapid release gels have laser drilled holes. They release medicine fast, for fast pain relief. Tylenol®. male voice grrr, feed me. Come on she wont mind she wont mind at a. Woman richard . Hey, sheila. Silence your growl. Just one bowl of frosted mini wheats and youre good till lunch. Jimmy were back. Our next guest believes that robots are coming to take our jobs and i for one, welcome them. He is running, alongside 80 other democrats for president of the united states. Please welcome andrew yang. [cheers and jimmy how are you . Im doin great, thanks so much for having me. Jimmy thanks for coming, great to have you hire. Y you werent a politician, now you are a politician. Dont say that. Jimmy like if you were to do magic, youd be a magician, right . Yeah. Jimmy so what did your wife say when you told her, darling, i, i know im successful in business, but i would like to run for president . President of what . Jimmy she said that . Yeah, it took a few months for her to realize i was serious. Jimmy she thought were you joking . Or she just thought she thought it was something that might pass, shall we say. Jimmy uhhuh. I see. And is she totally on board now . Oh, now shes on board. Now that im at fifth in the polls. [cheers and applause] jimmy does it, do you feel like it makes you even more sexually attractive to her . Wow, it was an awfully high bar to begin with. [ laughter ] jimmy why did right for president . Why not start with representative or senator or Something Like that . I spent seven years running an organization that helped create thousands of jobs in the midwest and south, and unfortunately, i believe these technological changes are a lot faster than we have time for. Robot trucks may be on our highways in five to ten years. So if i bided my time and tried to climb the ranks, in my view, we just didnt have that kind of time. Jimmy your fear is that all those truckers will be out of work because well have these robot trucks that drive on their own. Ups just invested, and driving a truck is the most common job in 29 states. There are 3. 5 million trucker. And the hotels and diners rely on truckers getting out and having a m having a meal. Jimmy it must be wired, one of your primary issues is something so scary but sounds so awesome, robot trucks, you know . Certainly, as a kid, youd be, ooh, robot trucks. Jimmy im still like that. A lot of it is we have to make ourselves excited about progress. And right now, robot trucks could be exciting for everyone if everyone felt like we participating in the gains of the 21st century economy instead of being left behind. Jimmy is your solution that we dont have robot trucks . Im pro innovation, but we need to start sharing the bounty. Jimmy i think every teenager is excited about that 1,000 a month. If every american got our tiny fair share of every amazon sale, every google ad, we could afford 1,000 per american per month, which would help us all transition in the 21st century economy and create a new way forward, not just for the 18yearolds but the 65yearolds struggling to make ends meet and retire with dignity. Jimmy your idea is that these companies are making money using our information, selling our information and that we should get some of that money. Our data is now worth more than oil, and were not seeing a dime of that. Amazon is a trillion Dollar Tech Company that literally paid zero in taxes. We need to get the American People our fair share of the incredible wealth that amazon and the other Tech Companies are generating. Jimmy do you think having a payment of 1,000 a month, the fear for a lot of people is it will disincentivize them to work. There are two groups shown to work less when you get kind of money. New moms who spend more time with their kids and teenagers who spend more time graduating from high school. I dont think any of us will be upset about those situations. Everyone works at the same level and in some cases work more. Jimmy at what age would we start getting the thousand dollars a month . Wed all have a financial l r literacy class. Do you think kids will start paying attention in class if they know theyre going to get the money . Jimmy no. One thing, its impossible to teach one Financial Literacy if they dont have the money. Jimmy will donald trump get 1,000 a month, too . If he signs up for it. Jimmy oh. Hell sign up for it. Yeah. He definitely will, youre right. The way we fund this is through a valueadded tax that would generate millions, tens of millions from the Donald Trumps of the world. If were a trying to send them 1,000 a month to remind them theyre an american, its a win for everyone. Jimmy do you worry that jeff suck zucker and elon musk will target you . They know its bad for everyone if people feel like the 21st century economy is leaving them behind. Jimmy is elon musk an american . He is not, but i think jimmy okay, oh, my goodness. But i think we could all agree, hes so cool that hes american in spirit. Jimmy he does have an american way about him. Yeah, doesnt he . Jimmy now youre wearing your pin. Your slogan is math, yeah, it stands for make america think harder. Immigrants have next to nothing to do with the problems americans are spooernsiexperien. Jimmy immigrants come here because they want to work, they want a better way of life. Whereas americans, we want to play video games. I wouldnt go that far. Jimmy i would. Americans are by the numbers a very, very hardworking people. Were working longer workweeks than most of the rest of the world. Jimmy thats true, especially the australians. They get a lot of time off, and im sick of it. Id like to see them get less time off at their jobs. We should head in their direction. Jimmy i think you should move on from math. I have a couple of them for you. Yang in there, baby. I think the word would be yang in there, being the white house, a and baby. Everybody likes baby. And this one i really like. Yangin and bangin. I can see where youre going with that one, jimmy. Jimmy you have many times said you are an asian guy good at math. I have a math problem for you. Are you ready . I want to see how good you are at math. All right. Jimmy if donald trump ordered 1500 cheeseburgers for the world series champions, and he ate 53 of those cheeseburgers while he was waiting for the team to show up, how many cheeseburgers will he have left for breakfast the next morning . 1,447. Jimmy thats absolutely correct. Oh, my gosh jimmy unless the team eats any, then, thats a variable. Its great to have you here. I think you have some very interesting ideas. I dont think youre going to be president , but maybe, i minean,o offense. I didnt think donald trump was going to be president either. My odds get better every single day. Jimmy they do. And while im here, i want your help. Ted cruz said yes to playing me g one on one in back. Jimmy you dont want that, he sweats on you. Ill take that for the American People. Lets get it on, man. I owe you a beating. Jimmy there you go. Andrew yang challenges ted cruz. Well be right back with music from Bishop Briggs. Dicky the Jimmy Kimmel Live Concert Series is presented by the 2020 gclass. Mercedes benz. The best or nothing. Dicky the Jimmy Kimmel Live Concert Series is presented by mercedes benz, the best or nothing. Jimmy id like to thank fred willard, laura dern and andrew yang. Apologies to matt damon. Nightline is next, but first this is her album, champion, here with the song jekyll and hide, Bishop Briggs. [cheers and born in a time of love facing the winds of fate storms brewing up above i was breakin i was beggin just to raise you up from the grave of your mistakes pleasure is a kind of pain have i had enough cause i keep wrestlin with snakes sick of all the slippery stuff are you jekyll and hydeing me silently i cant see in the dark are you jekyll or hyde this time wheres my mind i cant sleep in the dark jekyll and hydeing me did i make it up i was yesterdays regret but today i woke up in your bed have i had enough oh, have i had enough sick of all the slippery slippery stuff red apple cherry on your lips killing me with every kiss are you jekyll and hydeing me silently i cant see in the dark are you jekyll or hyde this time wheres my mind i cant sleep in the dark jekyll and hydeing me jekyll and hydeing me sweet and then youre sour changes by the hour never know which one ill taste hot and then youre freezing different every evening baby, you drive me insane are you jekyll and hydeing me silently i cant see in the dark are you jekyll or hyde this time wheres my mind i cant sleep in the dark jekyll and hydeing me lets go jekyll and hydeing me [cheers and applause] this is nightline. Tonight, the cave. A hidden hospital buried deep underground. One doctor standing her ground. The race to save lives as a civil war destroys syria. Hundreds of thousands of people dead, over 6 Million People displaced. The warrior doctor and her incredible acts of bravery. Defying oppression and risking her life. Documented by national geographic, hope shines in the darkest place. Nightline will be right back