[applause] ♪ ♪ [applause] greg: put your pants back on. Happy monday, everyone. Over the weekend donald trump held a rally in butler, pennsylvania. The site of the first assassination attempt. He spoke from behind a shield made of patent plexiglass, the same material they used to build nancy pelosi. Not to be outdone, kamala harris will join the view where the secret service will have harpoon guns in case the cast gets hungry. You are booing? get him out of here. On tuesday kamala harris will be interviewed, she is well prepared having worked for four years under a different fart man. [applause] greg: i will take it. After a seven month narcotics investigation of a large shipment of elephant tranquilizer has been seized on long island. Now how will i sleep? asks one woman. I thought that was going my way. Greg: a frontier jet caught fire during a hard landing at the las vegas airport. The company quickly responded by announcing they are bringing back the smoking section. In a rare solo interview earlier tonight kamala harris appeared on 60 minutes. Meanwhile her husband appeared on a nanny for 10 minutes. A judge ruled that a missouri law that forced sex offenders to post no candy signs outside of their on halloween is actually unconstitutional. How about a sign that says sex offender? that is fair. Greg: problem solved. Finally, researchers have determined that the act of swallowing is actually helpful to your health. I told you, said one man. [applause] greg: all right. On saturday donald trump returned to butler, pennsylvania where roughly three months ago he was almost assassinated by a loser who could not make his high school rifle club but somehow mastered slanted roof technology. It was huge, so huge the rest of the media had to cover it. First trump returns to the scene of his near death and then opens with this. We left pennsylvania and as i was saying. . . [applause] i love that, i love that chart. Greg: trump has a chart while barden biden has sharts. Elon musk showed up with a human embodiment of the first amendment, all it needed was hulk hogan showing up or kid rock putting his shirt on. It was so limp, it was funny, dare i say it joyous. Compare that to the existential prophecies of the future trump presidency. Dictatorship, chaos, was there anything in butler resembling that? tens of thousands of people from all over standing together to hear speeches that painted america as a place worth protecting, were safety matters, where borders matter, where american jobs matter, where our leaders would put our country first. All things that i hear was presidency would make disappear faster than and erection on bikini day at the view. I'm sensing a theme here. Greg: that sentence started out so well. Tens of thousands of people, the people that the legacy media demonizes all day long, people who happen to be in the ultimate swing states, by the way. Who do you think the media will blame if trump wins this thing? listen to these chuckle heads continue to push violent retribution if trump wins it. This is an increasingly desperate person who is preparing for civil war. People right now in the republican party are, in fact,, actively rooting for and inciting a split. A division in the country. What he says he intends to do and what he turns around and says he intends to use, team six, or the military, to round up his critics or his opponents. He intends to do it. Putting in place when he needs to disrupt the process and create enough tension and confusion that you will have people on the streets protecting and defending him. Greg: you get the sense there will be chaos if trump wins. That is the sense that they want you to have. Less an election and more of an extortion. Sadly, they may be right there will be k often trump wins because it will come from them. What they are saying is if you win there will be blood. You are blood. It is the mafia saying nice country you have here it would be a shame if something were to happen to it. At least the thugs from goodfellas had style. Democrat fellas look like this. Think about it. Has kamala harris articulated a singular original policy point? sure she lifted not taxing tips from trump. She does not bother with policy because she does not have to. As the woman babbles on about not going back from her own administration it is always followed by or else. Or its disaster, chaos. Chaos they seem to be guaranteeing. We have seen their chaos in chicago, new york, san francisco, and minneapolis. Tim walz missed that one he was busy fighting isis in iraq with exploding tampons. Some of us might be a bit scared but that is what they want. You cannot let them blackmail or threaten you into a democrats win. Clearly this is their last sure sign of desperation from a side that does not have policy, history, or common side on common sense on their side. But the good news, like joe nadler's deodorant, it is not working. A field of that had the blood of trump and three others showed them that. Trump came back he did not let them set the limits, he boldly returned to the scene of the crime like brian stelter returning to steal it from the sea and an phryge. Trump showed up and so forget it, the threats will not stop us. It was not about butler but the election itself. Gathering all of the same people in a field where a weaponized nut case try to end trump's run for president. Thousands of others showed that the election can be decided on the merits and not under the threat of the left of bowing chaos if they do not get their way. It is funny, the guy they are telling us will end elections and democracy is actually the one doing the most to preserve it preserve it. Tens of thousands join him. They are ready to fight fight fight with a pres who has their back every step of the way. So that the democrats keep telling you that trump will destroy america as they know it. If they are talking about america as they have known it the past few years let us hope they are right. There he is! greg: as we head in to fall remember if you are cold he is colder. Founder of studio tsc. Com michael loftus! he is my favourite kevin, after spacey. Speaker of the house kevin mccarthy! her baby shower registry can be found at 711. New york times bestselling author fox news contributor kat timpf! you can hear the ocean and his belly button, new york times best selling author, comedian, former heavyweight world champion tyrus! sorry if it is louder. Greg: michael, did you happen to catch one of the rail box cars to catch trump? i missed the car but luckily i got a new shopping cart i rode all of the way. This was a great moment this moment this was a hall of fame put him on mount rushmore now. A special shout out to the secret service for getting over their fear of sloped roofs. That was miraculous. Hold on, hold on, there is a ramp here. Trump is fantastic. I love his instinct. His throwaway lines are better than anything that they left could script for biotin. You have trump talking and making up rocket man and everybody is like that is wild and crazy. Joe biden is over there like. . . There was nothing. For trump to open up with so anyways, where was i? it acknowledges the moment, it was just an interruption, i am still going, i am unstoppable. This is up there with newhart doing the call back to the original newhart show. Do you remember that? greg: few people know what you mean it. The last episode he wakes up and he is actually a. . . He woke up with suzanne planchette. It was that moment from trump. Anyways he was like do we have the chart up there. Of course you have the chart. Greg: it is funny, congressman, i think that when he said he was going to come back afterwards people said you are not going back. But you knew he was going to do that, right. Have you talked to him sense this? has he changed in your mind? i talked to him each week. I talked to him the day after the assassination. He would sit there and he would tell me i could hear the bullet coming to my ear. Then he told me he said it kevin i learned something, you will learn this later in life because you have big, beautiful ears. There is a lot of blood in your ears. What this symbolizes is not letting butler and with the assassination attempt. He kept a promise that he is coming back, he has honoured the life of corey comperatore and the others who were shot. He did something else. For a nation to heal, anybody will tell you you have two back to the location it started. He was doing something for the nation at the same time he was doing it for everybody else. He finished his speech, he welcomed everybody back, do not be fearful of these people who want to put fear in to our lives about politics. That's rise again. I promise you this there are people in that rally who were not going to support him but want to support the nation. Greg: i did not even think about that. That was really a special thing for butler. To be known as he came back as opposed to where he almost was killed. It was actually a triumph, part two, a sequel that is better than the first. Kat did you catch any of this over the weekend are were you busy, busy? i was busy. I was backstage waiting two onstage on one of my shows. The clip of trump saying as i was saying, a friend said it to me. The friend who said it to me is the most liberal person i know. Probably to the left of aoc. He said i hate it but this is so fond of. That is the thing. If you watch all of those clips that you play from msnbc but i don't know about you guys though shows do not look very fun. I think even if you don't, you can leave all of those things, you can hate him so much, you have to admit that is funny and entertaining to watch. That is why people do like him. That is something that you can't really teach. I mean how many of these candidates have people try to humanize and give the ability to do this sort of thing? you either have it or you don't. The fact that that is the first one i found out from actually says a lot. Greg: tyrus, to listen to something like joe scarborough still in his weird world that is like after simply going on on saturday to think that this is a guide that is trying to divide the country. I think the only thing good about that and b. C. , msnbc, [bleep], whatever you want to call it. There was one guy who had a little bit of a consciousness. You could see it. He was having a hard time. He was tough. Can we do it? if i were to sit on the show tonight and say if president trump does not when there should be a civil war. [bleep] that is not what i meant. By the time i walked out of the building i would have gotten a call from the fox higherups saying that is not what we want to thank you, goodbye. The fact that they can sit on tv and say these incendiary things knowing we have already had two attempts how are they allowed to be on tv? you can disagree with them, you cannot like him, you can have all of the horrible comments about his policies and the world. But to sit there and say that, eyes, if we did not do something that was going to be a bloodbath. You are planting seeds. We already see seeds to growth in the wrong kind of mind. It is a responsible. Greg: it is shocking. Hard to believe they continue to do this. At some point somebody has to be the adult in the room and say joe, we did not bring you here on talent we did not think this was going to be dangerous but you have two. Maybe it is his wife who puts him down but he needs two. Before my time i just want to say thank you, sir, for sticking to principles and putting the country first. Not just the situation with the house but i want to say and a lot of people as well thank you. [applause] greg: i want to say to you on behalf of no longer pooping in front of my apartment thank you, as a homeless man thank you. The prescription it ran out there will be a fresh pile come tomorrow. Greg: i could not let your song the moment pass. I know you can't. Greg: i could not help it. There is no way he will not be able to make this about poop. He is magician. Greg: whether it is about poop i will make it about poop. Up next kamala is illequipped when she goes off script. Israel is under attack. Israel has been attacked like never before. Our skies are filled with rockets and drones. The international fellowship of christians and jews urgently needs your help to send out emergency teams across the holy land. The international fellowship of christians and jews needs your $45 gift to rush emergency aid to the people of israel struggling to survive day after day in bomb shelters. We are bringing food. We are bringing emergency resources to save lives. But we can't do it alone. We need you to stand with israel now. Many have lost everything with casualties on the rise. Tens of thousands of families desperately need emergency lifesaving aid today. Please don't wait. Now is the time to act. Call, scan, or go online now. A story and five words. Greg: kamala's brain breaks down badly. We have 32 days until the election. [applause] [laughter] 32 days. 32 days. Okay,, we have some business to do. We have some business to do. All right. 32 days. We know we will do it. [laughter] greg: sounds like she needs 28 days. If you know what i mean. Glug. Congressman, you spent time with her. Is she as bad behind the scenes as it appears that she is in front of the scenes? yes. [laughter] [applause] let me put it like this. I would go into negotiate with president biden and he would only speak from cards. She would come in and he was still the smartest democrat in the room. But if you watch kamala and her history, she starts really strong on a campaign. When she ran for president she had the best opening, 40,000 people, the most people online, she never made it to iowa. When she ran for u. S. Senate in california she ran against in a democrat and they had to retool her campaign. When she ran for attorney general it was the one seat on election night republicans that we won. What i am finding out as she started strong care. And she is being outworked she cannot talk to the press. No way can you become the leader of the free world and be afraid when a city councilmember takes more questions than you. It is just not right. Greg: do you have any dirt. Drop the sandbox on her. Greg: does she like a cocktail? is she into wine? i'm trying to figure out what is going on in her head. She never invent she never invited me out for drinks. Greg: good answer. Kat, she is on the socalled media blitz it. 60 minutes which just aired what do you think? it was kind of tough to watch a little bit. She should return to the scene of that teleprompter. [laughter] greg: yes! you have to sometimes things go wrong and live events. You have to just go with it and figure it out. I really do feel that trump handled being shot at more suitably. [laughter] because if you can't that is defined as well. Just let the audience know that there was something going on it. Because we are not idiots. We saw your whole face do anything that your face would not have done if everything was okay. Greg: yes. You kept saying 32 over and over again. It would have been fine if you said the teleprompter went out and she said that is why we can't automate everything i will stand for, i will be able to talk like a human being to other human beings. These interviews, the call your daddy one was a fine. They talked about women's reproductive issues the whole time, very smooth, very simple, very easy. If you do feel that way. If you have to, you can at least be selfdeprecating a little bit. It is okay to do that. Do that first so others can't do it for you. That is what i do. Greg: tyrus, when joe would make that phrase it was usually because he had an accident. Joe also has dementia so you have to give him a break there. You know. She likes to tell everyone that she is always the last one out of her room. I think it is time we inform her she is in the wrong room. [laughter] that was good. I get you do not like going to briefings. This is about, you are selling yourself. When you needed teleprompter to talk about yourself that is when you go back to the bartender and you say [bleep] stop over serving, you are chilling my campaign to. There is no other explanation. The barkeep needs two. Nobody is this dumb. Like if this was my child who talked that way we would be at speech therapists. We would be with psychologists i would get a dumb voodoo specialist. Like what is coming out of your mouth. I did not know she was talking about magic johnson until he came in and said there is the 32. This election is not close. There is no way in blue hell this is closer. [applause] listen, i do not have a problem. Hillary clinton i did not like or policies which you could present and debate no problems. Walz at least i know the policies he is talking about. At least he is speaking on it. She cannot speak on it. This is not a job where you figure it out where you go. I think america is going to say no. There is no way. No way. Greg: i was watching clips of snl, michael loftus, actually when they did the skit on kamala they used the drinking trope. She was drinking and i thought if that has blood into their world what does that say? that means that is something to identify her with. It is painfully obvious that there is no there there at all. When you cannot riff account down and you have the starting number right? she is like there is only 32 days left in the selection. And then what do i do now? 31! at least she can go to without now 32 is from a small middleclass. She could not go it is now the thing about 32 is there is too curvy numbers and then a curve and straight line. This is the transgender of numbers. We have to accept it for how it is. [laughter] good luck, kamala. Good luck. How did she work accommodation in high school. It is easy one, two, three, what is next to? for! go to break! greg: up next fema makes ahe fuss ovey!r lgbt+. 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Greg: millions are struggling after hurricane helene's destruction and hurricane noted approaches florida are video of the day is a fema zoom call from 2023. The focus? emergency preparedness among the lgbtqia+ community and the inherent inequality they face. Lgbtqia+ people and people who have been disadvantaged already are struggling. They already have their own things to deal with. You at a disaster on top of that it is a just come pounding upon itself. It is not being talked about it is not being socialized. We are not paying attention to this. Greg: who knew that mother nature was so homophobic? they are saying that gays, lesbian, trans has a worse time during natural disasters then other. Than others. As opposed to fema preparing to help everybody regardless of who they bang, they would not be in this situation to begin with. For all of this talk it is fema caught with their pants down. Tire is, that dude was a training manager at fema. They produce these webinar videos on things like climate change and equity. That is where our tax dollars are being used to. November 6. President trump is