[cheers] >> greg: it is true, we're back! happy monday, everybody. so today's democrats are as confused as mulvaney's gynecologist. because what big name dames are realizing now, after all the posturing about standing with the oppressed and speaking truth to power the party is now officially in lead with rapists, murderers and anti-semites and they didn't even have to join a prison gang. let's watch a democrat talking head try to explain october 7 aw away. >> i have seenlot of women speak out against using rape as a weapon of war. but downright silent on what we saw on october 7 and what might be happening inside gaza right now to these hostages. why is that? >> i mean, i don't know that that's true. we always talk about the impact of war on women in particular, but i think we have to remember that israel is a democracy. that's why they are a strong ally of ours, and if they do not comply with international humanitarian law, they are bringing themselves to a place that makes it much more difficult strategically for them to be able to build the kinds of allies. >> greg: yes, it's about israel complying with the law. but what law exactly? is there law on how to react to the mass rape of women? one more time, dana. >> with respect, i was just asking about the women and you turned it back to israel. i'm asking you about hamas. in fact -- >> i already answered your question, dana. i said it horrific and i think rape is horrific. sexual assault is horrific. i think it happens in war situations. terrorist organizations, like hamas, obviously, are using these as tools. however, i think we have to be balanced about bringing in the outrageous against palestinians. >> and it's horrible but you don't see israeli soldiers raping -- >> dana, we're not -- i don't want this to be the hierarchy of oppression. >> greg: huh? so there you go in just three words, hierarchies of oppression. she put mass rape in context. you know what happens in war situations. it's just a tool. but hey, we need balance. balance. how is that even possible? well, when your entire worldview is broken down into either victim or victimizer and the crimes of the so-called victims are always excusable, then of course you wouldn't think a little thing like rape by hamas terrorists would be a big deal. she's symbolic of all the progressive women that aren't coming out against october 7, an event that should not be terrorized as terror but sexual atrocity. that needs to be said. sexual atrocity because that phrase puts these apologists objecon the spot because just by calling it terror -- you can't do that with sexual atrocity because where in history is justification for that? it needs to be posed to everyone marching because we've been too easy on these ghouls. they need to come face-to-face with the reality of that event. it a sexual atrocity and every moment spent on batch of the perpetrators makes them an accomplice. the question to all of them should be, what's your stance on sexual atrocity? because you're marching not against sexual atrocity but against victims of it. and it's something squad members like pramula should remember when she wafers it away. she's the feminist champion that once tweeted they owed to it sexual survivors everywhere not to confirm brett kavanaugh to the supreme court based on a decades old allegation, with no police reports or evidence. yet now they downplay sexual atrocity with mountains of gruesome proof. i guess young israeli women are not brave, compelling or credible enough for her. anyone want to help her find her moral compass? oh, here it is, it was stuck up her ass the whole time. [laughter] >> greg: don't be -- [applause] >> greg: thank you. i'll take it. but don't be too surprised by this. these confused women think women have dongs. here's the deputy director when asked to call out hamas. >> is there ran, sarah, you can't specifically call out hamas and the mounting evidence now over seven weeks, that israeli investigators have collected? >> you mean women always supports impartial independent investigations into any series allegations of gender-based or sexual violence? these investigations are led by the office of the high commissioner of human rights. consequently in this context, and within the un system it's the independent international commission of inquiry, which for us has the mandate to investigate all alleged violations. >> greg: what a dog face pony soldier. do you realize she gets paid to talk like that by us? so many words, so little meaning. if the u.n. can't call out sexual atrocity what good are they for? i haven't heard that kind of double talk since the time i took mushrooms and tried to listen to emily compano. let me translate. i'm a woman and my job is to advocate for women and maybe hamas raped and killed women but we need to investigate further and those vows coos have been staged. believe all women except now when we believe no women because they are jewish, even though we have the tape, confessions and bodies. fwrepds like that who needs ted poppedy. the u.n. calls themselves the global champion for gender equality and it took to him two months to condemn hamas? two months? are they communicating by terror pigeon? what as holes, they could say they are calling for peace in palestinian occupied territory. maybe u.n. demand release of all the hostages first but maybe they are too busy asking hamas leaders to verify their pronounce. give it a try. trust me. your pronoun would be headless. you see the point. [applause] >> greg: something is horribly wrong here and as we enter an election year the democrats have a major in-house problem. they claim to represent women but whicich women exactly? the ones who pretend to be women because that's all that's left. who is left to defend when you ignore victims of sexual atrocity? the fact is we have to admit that this movement isn't just okay orchestrated but also insane. why are so many women willing -- it's an energy shift from one joyless existence to another. perhaps in a society of leisure, they migrated to extreme beliefs. they cheer for rape because they are bored and not in danger. at least not yet. it begs a question about lefty women in. sports they favor men or women. in family they favor punitive activists over moms. in cities they place the right of criminals over female victims and now they happily ignore sexual atrocity. do female leftists hate women or just themselves? this is where the left's energy resides and on our campuses it's where the left's future resides so president biden, traditional democrats, all that are left, base a wing of their party with massage in us fascists. call it what you want, the anti-capitalist wing, the anti-israel wing or sexual atrocity caulkist. could the women of the democratic party have the guts to speak truth to that power? like my dad used to say before throwing me into the pool don't hold your breath. let's welcome tonight's guests. his jokes are like his jacket. we're still waiting for a good one. folks across america, jimmy -- she's been around more nba players than athletes' foot. emily austin. she's like a cane, straight, thin, and wanted by grandpas. "new york times" best-selling author, kat timpf. you can see him coming from a mile away. "new york times" best-selling author and comedian, former weight champion tyus. jimmy, your a fashion atrocity. >> there it is. >> where are all the pro-women now? when it actually matters? the pro-women-women. >> fair. this defense of hamas shocked me and as a former new york city cab driver, i know half of hamas. >> greg: that's just a joke. america's cab drivers are wonderful people. >> the best of the best. >> greg: and they also smell great. >> do they ever. you made a fine point. you did make a fine point. although i'm happy to know i'm back from reno and you're still yourself, an ass hole, but anyway, anyway, okay, if you remember what were we convicting kavanaugh on the left based on? his yearbook. a scribble in a yearbook to them was proof that he had committed rape 35 years ago, and that was enough to run on. believe all women. now we have women. we have corpses, video, although i will say this if they went through the hamas yearbook, girl who wins best looking a goat. you know what i mean? >> that's someone's wife. >> but isn't it amazing, though, when you think about why they are doing this, a serious point, it's sick. okay? she's trying to create this moral equivalency to give people emotional permission to forgive hamas. by saying we've got to be balanced. they are trying to say to you, of course, you should be upset about the rape, but let's not forget they are giving people the emotional convenience. there is no equivalence. >> greg: also, emily, it's like, they are the ones calling for proportionate response but what is the proportionate response to if mass rape? to sexual atrocity? i think everything is on the table. >> i think the proportionate means idea should count 1,200 civilians, break into their homes and slaughter them, rape them, burn them alive. behead the same amount of babies, break the same amount of cervixes and bones that they did and that's proportionate but that's not an option anymore. there is no proportionality when it comes to eradicating terrorism, and what disgusts me, first of all, she's in our government. you should be ashamed of yourself. i don't even know what her name is. so-called feminists, and all of these so-called allies of women are sudden blind and deaf when it comes to the rape and countless video evidence that comes with this rape. and the same women that march with black lives matter and the lgbtq opportunity, they are all standing with pal line. you need to start and get on the right side of history and stop being a hypocrite. jewish lives matter, too, i'm sorry. all lives matter, so do jews. >> greg: all right. kat, how are you doing? >> i'm all right. >> greg: that's good. that's the important thing. what do you make of her response on cnn? >> kat: okay, because the situation in the middle east is obviously very complicated, right? geopolitical issues, very complicated. so if i were in that situation, and i was asked specifically about the violent rape of jewish women, i would be like, okay, great, softball question. i'm against that. >> greg: yes. she actually -- she actually added a but. >> kat: if i didn't, i said that's awful. and then you're done. >> greg: exactly. you go to the green room and have a doughnut. >> kat: people have done this, democrats and republicans, right? but to me, that should be a very easy question to answer. >> greg: we know, though, we always know as time goes on, the will weakens, and then all of a sudden you have the context people. and then that's where the buts show up. oh, yes, it was wrong, but -- and then the but goes away. >> i thought you were building a butt, why you did it uphill. >> greg: what's your take, tyus? >> historically, elimination of women was the prize, you kill all the men and breed them out by raping all the women and it was fashionable and barbaric times and eventually mantha supposedly became enlightened, and don't [bleep] even then they didn't say but. >> greg: there was no but. >> but that's the thing, and the more i look at this the more i realize there is no group. there is no women. there is no black. there is no white. it is -- that's used when you need to prove your point when you can't back it up with any integrity or facts. like why are they not caring about the jewish women that were raped because their plight is not on their side of the fence. it's only important to me if it affects me. kavanaugh bothered me so i found something he didn't do, when he was a young punk 35 years ago, don't care, he's not part of my agenda and i'll go after him. we allowed this to start, with police, white women, white, white is in fair play for all these groups of people, they can say anything and they can do anything behind the group. black lives matter, supported hamas. you can say that but if they call you out on social media and say how could you? then the apology breaks out because everyone is afraid of the group. when i speak i don't represent black america. i represent tyus, that's it, and if i'm trouble, greg, every time you say something wrong you're offending the black community, no, you offended mo because i'm sensitive and i just happen to be black. >> greg: very sensitive. [applause] >> greg: very sensitive. i can tell you want to say something but i've got to move on. >> you're welcome to. give democrats credit. one democrat of all the democrats, has done the right thing at every turn, fetter man. he spoke up on behalf of the hostages because he looks like a guy who would take hostages. give him credit. >> greg: also chuck schumer. a young boy seeks to make some emoji tweets. ah mornings! cough? congestion? i'm feeling better. all in one and done with new mucinex kickstart. headache? better now. new mucinex kickstart gives all-in-one and done relief with a morning jolt of instant cooling sensation. it's comeback season. icy hot. ice works fast. ♪ heat makes it last. feel the power of contrast therapy. ♪ so you can rise from pain. icy hot. ♪ limu emu & doug ♪ [bell ringing] and doug says, “you can customize and save hundreds on car insurance with liberty mutual.” he hits his mark —center stage— and is crushed by a baby grand piano. are you replacing me? with this guy? customize and save with liberty bibberty. he doesn't even have a mustache! oh, look! a bibu. [limu emu squawks.] only pay for what you need. ♪ liberty. liberty. liberty. liberty. ♪ - [female narrator] they line up by the thousands. each one with a story that breaks your heart. like ravette... every step, brought her pain. their only hope: mercy ships. the largest floating civilian hospital in the world. bringing free surgeries to people who have no other hope. $19 a month will help provide urgently needed surgery for so many still suffering. so don't wait, call the number on your screen. or donate at mercyships.org. >> greg: thank you. a little boy's case against a nerdy face. he says apple's emoji makes him feel like a turd. he's calling on apple to change the emoji because it's insulting to people who wear glasses. teddy, what a nerdy name. that kid does look exactly like the emoji, but you think apple would be sympathetic to 10-year-olds because that's who builds their iphones. teddy is also offended by the emoji's front teeth which he referredte as horrible rabid teeth. i could make a joke about brits and their teeth if they had any but teddy hopes apple will take his petition to heart given their history of tweaking so-called controversial emojis. a while back they replaced the gun with a toy water pistol. problem solved. instantly, there was no more crime. and when the covid vaccine was rolled out they modified the blood filled syringe. teddy created this alternative to the nerd face which he calls the genius emoji, featuring a thinner pair of glasses and an adorable smile. sands buck teeth although it looks like it just saw a pair of boobs for the first time. but maybe the kid is on to something. i can think of a few emojis i would like to see. how about, i just had sex with my teacher emoji. here's a, i just walked into joy's dressing room by accident. i think they have that i call this one that's skelter. joe biden just boarded the airplane emoji. and here's our proposal for a new nerd emoji. kat, you were a nerd back in the day, and you blossomed into an older nerd. are you for todayy's petition or against it? >> i'm like you, i'm not going -- >> i'm pro kid. >> kat: you can't do that i'm not allowed to an opinion on a 10-year-old other than great job, buddy. he doesn't realize that some of us, he's lucky he needs glasses because some of us had to wear them with perfect vision for years like me, i'm nearsighted now, but i look better with glasses. >> greg: by far more attractive. if you could have an emoji what would it be? >> i said i was the alarm clock emoji just like an alarm clock i will keep making noises until you pay attention to [applause] [laughter] >> greg: tyus, this is my emoji. >> kat: shocker. >> feels right. >> greg: it's the poop. it's the poop. unnecessary. you don't want an emoji? >> i'm a grown ass man. an emoji, i either talked to them or ignored them. no emoji for me. first of all with my plus size hands trying to push the damn button and i would end up sending the wrong vegetable and you would never see me again. >> kat: we all know you want an eggplant. >> i plame the parents on this one. they saw those glasses. it was -- and they are like, his father has a sense of humor. he wanted to be good in school so he put the nerd glasses on him. be mom and dad. i have kids and i'm hard on them all the time. so this is a good idea, but i don't know if apple will do it for him because he's not claiming some form of gender atrocity. >> greg: that's true. >> he can identify as a son or something like that, unfortunately, just because he's asking, give him an "a" but also tell him, life is tough, man, it's going to get tougher than that suck it up. >> greg: that's true. he's not part of an aggrieved group. yet there is still time. i can't ask you that question because you're too young. i'll save that for what's his face. does he have a good point or is he just looking for attention? >> kat: i thought when i read the article, a grown man, just another sensitive kid but what he hasn't learned is after the age of 12020 -- my parents should have been lucky as i nerd. what are kids going to be mean to you about. teddy is so smart, he got such a good grade and he works for google. he doesn't realize what a compliment he is. >> greg: it's a badge of honor and i love beating to him up when they were poor. jimmy, is this like the modern vision of carly simon's, "your so vain." you're so vain you probably think this emoji is about you. >> i get it. how do lose a guy in 10 days. >> greg: that reference is beyond me. >> it's a lot. there are two camps on. this some say you shouldn't have the buck tooth emoji. some say you should. the correct answer is, who gives a [ bleep ]? it's like, we're putting way too much weight into the wrong things. what happens in an emoji has no bearing on the real world. if it did you and i would be going to a man's baby shower this saturday. you know what i'm saying? it doesn't matter. that's the point. >> greg: that is true. a man's baby shower. >> my emoji, do you want to know? >> greg: yes. >> this is from my heart, my favorite thing in the world is to smoke a cigar, because it takes me to a happy place and increases my chance of getting a date with monica lewinsky. >> kat: my pronounce are yours/highness. i'm a queen. oh, my godk i'll wearing it wrong. i'll just wear this. >> i didn't realize i was on with the white meghan markle. >> greg: we've got to move on. up next, trump calls out an actor who used to have clout. ea, bass pro shops and cabela's club members save even more while supporting conservation during club member mondays. for the first time ever, club members receive up to an additional 15% off our best deals of the year, in-store, online, and even on sale items. every monday through christmas. plus, purchases over $500 receive 0% interest for 12 months on qualifying purchases. not a club member? join today and start earning free gear for your next adventure. 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[bell ringing] >> greg: de niro's last fan is in a pickle watching trump roast travis bickell. this just in. robert deniro is a total loser. have you soon his last 28 movies you already know that but don't take my word for it. listen to president trump who recently went after the so-called actor for comments made at an award ceremony last week. he took it upon himself to turn a film tribute speech for a soapbox against our fair haired freedom fighter but after his remarks were apparently removed from the teleprompter without notice he became unglued quicker than jesse's wig in a pool. take a look. >> i just want to say one thing. the beginning of my speech was edited, cut out, didn't know about it. and i want to read it. history isn't history anymore. truth is not truth. even facts are being replaced by alternative facts. lying has become just another tool in the charlton's arsenal. the former president lied to us more than 30,000 times during his four -- thank you -- years in office. and he's keeping up the pace in his current campaign of retribution but with all his lies he can't hide his soul. he attacks the weak, destroys the gifts of nature and shows disrespect, for example, by using pocahontas as a slur. >> greg: oh, my god. oh, my god. no wonder this guy need a script to make a living. he could call that script raging bull [ bleep ] trump the counterpuncher that he is took the truth to social to set de niro straight writing "robert de niro, whose acting talents have greatly diminished with his reputation now shot must even use a teleprompter for his foul, disgusting language. so disrespectful to our country. he's become unwatchable both in movies and with the fools that destroy the academy awards bringing them from one of the top shows in the country to a low-rated afterthought. de niro should focus on his life which is a mess rather than the lives of others. he's become a total looser as the world watches, waits, and laughs. ♪ >> greg: trump's statement is far more entertaining than de niro's and he probably wrote it on a toilet. if he should be holding grudge against anybody it's not trump. it's whoever is in charge of making those horrible choices who told de niro he was funny. seth myers? he's made so many bombs, hamas should call his agent. the guy from dear hunter, a taxi driver in cape fear, he's truly become a grumpy old man. he's made worst decisions on set than alec baldwin, and baldwin shot people. so, tyus, it's pretty clear in this battle that trump doesn't think about de niro at all but de niro thinks about hill all the time. i mean, shouldn't de niro have other things on his mind? >> yes, like where you are when you decide to have a speech like that it was so confusing. he was there to talk about a movie of substance, and he decided he needed to have a political rally, and the audience was so fired up. it was -- the best way i can describe his speech is like, oh, getting a woman pregnant on a pullout couch. it's just confusing. >> greg: yes. that is confusing. >> you know what i'm saying? >> greg: i understand. >> it's a lot of what have you's. a lot of room for dumb excuses. >> greg: exactly. >> a pullout couch. i wish he had had a pullout speech because it was awful. again, this is the problem. you can't beat trump at this game. if de niro wants to go one-on-one, why don't you run. the democratic party could use some help. i would love to see that debate. >> greg: jimmy, this is like a sad thing because when you invest meaning into an actor because of their great roles and then you find out he's just another whiney crank, i mean, it like, i don't know, i had the completely wrong read on de niro. >> so did i. it's true. the one positive, nice to see trump getting attacked by a dirty grandpa besides biden. but let me tell you, to your point, about celebrities. the reason they hate trump, okay, this really matters and this carries over into howard stern territory, too, one, they were all friends with him. okay? and trump is now more popular and prominent in the media than all of hollywood combined. these are people who are used to being the focus of attention and trump took them and dwarfed them by a margin of a million. there was always this old hollywood premonition where a guy could walk in off the street with no experience and win the presidency. he did it. he did the thing we made movies about that. >> greg: his life is a movie and they play people like him in movies, emily, and also, he's on the way up and they are on the way down. they cross paths and they know it. is that fair description? >> i don't know, greg, i feel like there is something we're missing. i freely-like it's almost personal. maybe like de niro, or trump hit on his wife, there is something more personal going on here so i have concluded there is only one way to hash this out like true gentlemen. they need to get in the rick and box it out. dana white, if you're watching, feel free to set up that. i have some experience in sports myself. i could host it. that's how we settle these, you know, arguments nowadays. >> greg: violence. >> violence. new york took that it way. philly took that it way, so put them in the ring and we'll stream it on fox. >> greg: kat, it always funny when somebody famous becomes obsessed with you. it's got to be weird when somebody that you grew up watching or not watching when it comes to olderman, can't stop thinking about you. >> kat: they were rewards of some kind. i think i'm going to take a page out of trump's book, by saying, it's terrible for our country. it's great, i think it's like i'm really adding to my arsenal. you better watch out especially. what a horrible thing to say. that hurst our great country. [laughter] >> i have no response to that. >> greg: it works. okay, coming up, a lawyer's plan that can literally stank. prescribed by cardiologists. it was proven superior at helping people stay alive and out of the hospital. don't take entresto if pregnant; it can cause harm or death to an unborn baby. don't take entresto with an ace inhibitor or aliskiren, or if you've had angioedema with an ace or arb. the most serious side effects are angioedema, low blood pressure, kidney problems, or high blood potassium. ask your doctor about entresto for heart failure. directv sports central brings your games, stats and scores together... and now you can get it without a satellite. one more reason to finally get rid of cable. but getting rid of the cable guy might not be as easy. oh yeah, touchback! visit directv.com for up to a $400 reward card. ♪ when brown comes to town you need a man who won't blush at the sound of a flush ♪ ♪ you need the defective ♪ >> greg: welcome back. tonight's investigation, the case of the pringle's can of crap. a defense attorney was suspended last week after leaving a popp-filled pringle's can outside a victim's advocacy center back in 2021. he also had to lay out a few hundred bucks. he pled guilty to disorderly conduct charge and paid $2,800 in fines. it was light because they loved what they thought was a new flavor. he reportedly tried to play off the can of poop as a prank and admitted he had done this at least 10 other times in the past. now, we don't know if he put the crap in the canby hand or if he went right for it but here's how i imagine he did it. perhaps it's easy to hit the target if you focus,ion, but thank you, jean, for drawing that. i'll leave that up there. anyway, you know who solved the case of the pringle's poop? believe it or not they have an entire force devoted to solving such crimes. stupid joke. what is your favorite favor of pringles? >> i haven't had pringles forever but if you talk the two chips on the top and bottom, it's like a duck, and that's as far as my pringles experience goes. that's exactly how i envision it, but my question is like, this guy woke up, he's like i'll going to be a menace to society today. let me poop in a can. throw it out the win doe in multiple locations and that's my way of ruining this earth. >> that's not the part that bothers me. >> the part that bothers me, when people were like suspending him, were they thinking about how this guy did it what went into it? you would have to be a sick, crazy, evil person to do that. best part, you could have gotten away with it easily. go to san francisco and do it there and nobody will know the difference. >> greg: what do you think? >> none of that is the part that bothers me. >> greg: what bothers you? >> he shouldn't have gotten in trouble but he should be disbarred not for pooping but because he admitted to doing it 10 times. what kind of lawyer are you? >> greg: exactly. >> rule number one is you don't get caught. number two, if you do get caught it only happened that one time and you hated it and you would never do it again. >> greg: exactly. you're already a lawyer. thank you. jimmy, i don't know if you remember this but remember when olestra was introduced and the side effect was anal leakage. do you think pringles has solved the problem by having the chips come in a can that you can use afterwards? [laughter] >> as it turns out pooping in a pringles can is a gateway drug. once you start you can't stop. here's another thing to get upset about. yes, i've got pringles material. so here it is. he was leaving them specifically at the same place. which was an advocacy group for crime victims. haven't these people been through enough without getting a pringles can. >> greg: this was an obsession of his. >> a serial pooper. >> greg: yes. [laughter] >> greg: jeffrey bomber. grow i grew timed the poop story for when you were here. >> i think i could stuff now pringles can. [laughteter] >> listen. i'm glad he's disbarred, okay? >> for over a year. >> because he's a moron. this is a stupid crime. even if you left regular chips most people aren't going to step on food of the ground, let me pick it up. they will just walk by it. that's why he did it 10 times. this kid, this is not, he's not breaking the mold with these evil villain plans. when i grew up as a kid you took dog stuff, put it in the bag and you lit it on fire. so when the lady came out, when the lady came out, they stomped it because they had to put the fire out and then the extra thing is then, ha-ha, you took off running. this moron is putting it in the bag, and they are going, this is trash. damn it, do it again. so he's horrible. the only thing he has going for him is he's one lawyer who isn't full of [ bleep ], and other than that, terrible. >> greg: up next he's known for gaudy looks and for now writing books. my most important kitchen tool? my brain. so i choose new neuriva ultra. unlike some others, it supports 7 brain health indicators, including mental alertness from one serving. to help keep me sharp. try new neuriva ultra. think bigger. meet the jennifers. jen x. jen y. and jen z. each planning their future through the chase mobile app. jen x is planning a summer in portugal with some help from j.p. morgan wealth plan. let's go whiskers. jen y is working with a banker to budget for her birthday. you only turn 30 once. and jen z? her credit's golden. hello new apartment. three jens getting ahead with chase. solutions that grow with you. one bank for now. for later. for life. chase. make more of what's yours. ♪ >> everybody has a book out. [sad music] >> greg: even jimmy fallon. jimmy has a new book. boy, are his fans campied. it's called "cancel culture dictionary," a guide to winning the war on fun. it comes other next month but you can pre-order it now, if you're in the market for a new door stop. all right. jimmy, i'm looking on the back and i see the people who gave you the quotes and phrases, one of them is brian kilmeade. i thought you wanted to sell books. i will, really, quickly, sell it and defend it. if you like reading at a third grade level you will love this book. if you like scratch and sniff pop-ups, but some good quotes and basically what this book is about, which i know w you want know, but thank you for letting me promote this it's about how cancel culture and weaponized sensor ship has broken our compass in society. we spend more time policing k3450ed arians than the streets and a lot of time the superficial victories that we deliver don't help the communities. take native american mass cots. we didn't actually help native americans by cancelling the red redskins. never mind we didn't choose them to mock the culture. there is a pride calling yourself a chief. if you don't believe me ask elizabeth warren. i think this is an opportunity to give people perspective. that's what i was going for. >> greg: very, very succinct is. you also have a quote here from jesse watters. i know for a fact he did not read your book. >> not even a page? >> greg: he probably didn't even write this. he probably had his assistant write this. >> johnny is great. but watters speaks truth to power. he refers to me as the rating fairy. >> greg: and you're a fairy. >> thank you, you've seen the outfits, but that's too funny. >> greg: [laughter] am i mentioned at all in this book? >> you are and in a flattering way. listen, you've done -- do you think i would be having this book, you think they would have chosen to have a book ghost written with my name on it if it weren't for you. i'm kidding. i wrote it myself. i'm not hemingway but sapided l -- but sounded a lot like hemingway. if it wasn't for the terrible conditions of air travel this book doesn't happen but i wrote it during the day, comedy club green rooms. it's a to z, not a dictionary but lade out, because each letter issing in that got cancelled by letter and then i explain how them impacted society and how no one benefitted. cancel culture, i call it a war on fun because we are policing sources of joy for grievance, movies, things like that. >> greg: most of the people that have led the charming on cancel culture don't like fun. >> not at all. >> they have usually failed at what -- >> a good example of that would be shane on "saturday night live." she got canceled on "saturday night live" because people dug up old pod captains about him. who were they? people who dreamed on being "saturday night live" and could never get there and we'll kneecap this kid. >> greg: he's 10 times funnier. >> amazing, great. so that's probably the point. >> i'm glad i was able to promote this book even though i was not mentioned on the back. >> you are mentioned all the way throughout the book. >> greg: thank you. that's all that matters. >> he only resents the book because it's taller than he is. >> greg: we'll be right back. my family is sacred to me. it truly is all that matters. i was on a work trip when the pulmonary embolism happened. but because i had the factor 5, which showed i had the genetic mutation, because i was aware of that gene, that saved my life. i would not have been able to meet my new granddaughter. i truly believe i'm here because of 23andme. for the better part of the century, harry and david has been making gourmet gifts that bring people together. to share traditions and make new memories. to bring us all closer, even when we're apart. no matter when and no matter where, life is a gift best shared. harry & david. life is a gift. share more. your brain is an amazing thing. but as you get older, it naturally begins to change, causing a lack of sharpness, or even trouble with recall. thankfully, the breakthrough in prevagen helps your brain and actually improves memory. the secret is an ingredient originally discovered... in jellyfish. in clinical trials, prevagen has been shown to improve memory. prevagen. at stores everywhere without a prescription. sc >> greg: we're out of time. [cheers and applause] >> good evening, i'm trace gallagher, it's 11:00 p.m. on the west coast. 8:00 i

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