an ankle monitor after the judge. there's an investment opportunity i missed out on, ankle monitors. who knew they would replace prison? nike or congress can make a version that comes with one already built in thankfully he's been told not too contact them who range in age 15 to 75, a tpolicy that will have to be de on resume call. the perp can go to work while under arrest. guess who will be voted. employee of the month in that office. hr department must be dreading his review. meanwhile inw. d.c. duck and cover, it appears dog napping is not a crime worthy crime. [laughter] crime worthy crime. worthy of w incarceration. losing my brain. they chose not to press charges against four men arrested in an apartment where missing dog was found. public was taken at gunpoint along with firearmsal and drugs. they were released and it will embolden criminals not to mention his self-esteem. poor thing. i guess you couldn't fill out the paperwork. you have that problem, charlie. over at the correctional facility, it's a woman's prison, your future mailing address. a transgender prisoner knocked up not one but two female inmates. you go, girl. [laughter] here i was thinking a trans woman in a women's prison wouldn't cause problems. apparently they opened her with open arms. here they will have the gender reveal party in the laundry room. the registry is the prison commissary.. i ordered the teams of mackerel. that's what they sell on the commissary. they sell tens of mackerel's. demetrius miner, a new jersey women's prison confessed to impregnating to women, one is serving a life sentence and will give birth in early autumn. the baby could be released early with good behavior. that's a joke. [laughter] in case anybody missed it. the father, also the mother but not the breading person currently behind bars for stabbing their foster parent to death. i hate to see what crimes demetrius major is committing. his name is minor. a murderer and a lifer are expecting, their kids any bleaker, he be a democrat in the house november. the baby has theer genes of two criminals, he or she will be the first baby when born to shift the delivery doctor to stop it on the. the media uses a proper woke pronoun there to describe the murder who knocked her up. not doing so would be the real crime i think. we used to worry about prisoners taking a birthday cake, not -- [laughter] i admire this scam. think how terrified the woke suckers are consumed over pronouns without questioning the mail murderer and a woman's prison is a good plan. it's connected to woke. apparently the facility changed the transgender policy last year end allows transgender women who haven't yet undergone transition. take a shower and regina together. you wonder why women are getting gknocked up in prisons. officials say it's a job hazard so what can you do? first maybe cancel the drink specials thursday night. that be smart. get them out of the women's prison and into the college swimming pools where they belong. [laughter] that's crimes today. [laughter] more criminals let's just hope don't figure out the loopholes. >> all right, all right, break it up. [sirens] that's it, you're going to t ja. i'm sorry, ma'am. you're going to lady jail. [sirens] greg: i did know emily was bald. she can carry it though. for now anyway. here in new york i'm told things are going to improve, right? at the subway stop sunday morning, that's what they take to fox every day and he wasn't the worst smelling person in the car. the block, these two men got shot. don't ever make fun of anyonece ordering. eighty it's me but i feel like adults have grown a will ever since we've criminalized law & order, all that's left is a few groups, the oppressed in their victims. allegedly oppressed they victimized that they use their status as a shield, lunatics have changed the language and change the realities without letting the rest of us know so we are living in a lab experiment right now, their horrifying theories on us. before we operated on incentives but nowow progressives disconnected punishment and crime and left with a civilization at the mercy of the criminally insane. happy monday. [laughter] too soon to start drinking? [applause] let's welcomeme tonight yes. an advocate for spaying and neutering and some of our panelists, host of doctor drew after dark in the daily streaming show, doctor drew. i bet it's doctor drew. [laughter] if he talked any faster, the audience would start square dancing. also emily compagno. [applause] my favorite charlie. [laughter] opinion editor and fox news contributor, charlie hurt. [applause] while gz's turned water into wine, he turned to wind bring to one, it kat timpf. [applause] doctor drew, it's been months. i was worried about you for a while. i thought maybe you transitioned and went to women's prison. [laughter] >> that would be an interesting thing. greg: what you think about this? you are a doctor and there are transgender women into prisons thinking, knowing this would happen. >> people have sexual relations in prison, usually women and women and now women with a and the problem is the liability. my question iss what's wrong wih your profession? i feel like the idea they have is all crime is mental health and to put somebody with the health in a prison -- a somebody who worked in a psychiatric hospital, all crime is not meant to help, it's not. there are criminals out there. crazy, right? there are people who aren't crazy but it's what they need and you can deal with that some sort of facility but not ankle bracelets. greg: i was thinking about this the other day if it's strange the idea somehow it's better to have the mentally ill on the streets of new york where they are allowed. [background noises] were beeping and crowds, that seems to be the worst place to be mentally ill and homeless, i would think out in the hills, people inn white coats, do you remember that when you were kids? that's how i would solve problems. white coats and butterflyitoa n. i know there wasn't a question. >> i agree with you and doctor drew, i agree with you, it's the extreme segment of those attorneys, the extreme portion of defense attorneys, prosecutors and names who are prosecuting crimes they should be. >> do they think it's a mental health problem? also mental health being treated in the hospital but they are not that, what is their plan? >> i don't know, i don't speak to them -- i feel like i'm on the stand. i just want to say you show an example when you talk about oppressors, aclu sued transgender's in the same prison as biological women and among others, correctional officersec unions argued against it. they said we predict pregnancies of obviously health issues, this guy impregnated to in the fact that the judge ruled in their favor, there are multiple transgender's in there. what i don't understand is an element of public safety protecting our citizens the somehow escaped the judge in that decision yes, i guess in the interest of fairness, we have to let them in.er what about the interest of public safety, one of the ones who got pregnant, her judge said i've never seen a more depraved or senseless act of violence. if she ever gets out, she will commit something like insane pilots or whatever. she maintains she was not pregnant but this kind of person regardless if it was taking advantage, you see the mental capacity, now she's going to be a mom and prison, all of this is backwards, and also why everyone should have a doberman instead. [laughter] greg: charlie, your hair is murdering myr heart. [laughter] >> anybody who lays a finger on my dog, they are not going to jail. greg: they are going 6 feet under. >> exactly. there will be norl body found. but is amazing like this will concept of consequences doesn't occur to these people. obviously the country is politically divided and we tend to try to understand what the rsother people, assume the other people make rational intelligent arguments. he tried to understand what they are saying but this is no zone for that, you let biological males into female prisons, what do you think will happen? if i was convicted of murder, i would be like. greg: i would do it in a second, identify immediately. >> men's prison. greg: i would identify as a really old lady so i could get other medication medications and things. medical marijuana for my glaucoma and probably percocet for my herniated discs. i would identify every illness before i get arrested so i can have all of that does not make sense? >> i think it would work. [laughter] i think you could pull that off. special prison just for you. greg: exactly. you know, i think the audience knows you own a kat, would it hurt youou to know somebody coud steal your cat and not go to jail even though your cat is almost 40 years old? >> he has an inhaler. [laughter] i guess your cat is -- >> i would be worried, he would claw someone's eyes out. whenever she's, she's just off on this stuff and whatever he hears on the story about a dog being stolen, he's like i wish it would be coral. then i had to say you can't say that, he's right there but yeah, that's why i can never take the hedog out, it wouldn't be safe r me toa. do so. greg: you live in a neighborhood where there isne a lot of issues going on and has gotten better? >> we were on a walk the other day and there was a crazy guy out of his mind -- >> you need a dog walker. [laughter] greg: something about -- >> i don't understand he's like if somebody were to steal my dog, i wouldn't be like you know, that would be a bad day for me. greg: the owner of the dog plus drugs and weapons, i probably shouldn't gloss over that. >> and dogs who were dog napped over the weekend. greg: another one? that's ”-double-low-quote one 100% increase. it went from one to two, startling. [laughter] >> i thinktl it's part of a larr trend and they are getting money for it. so stupid, they don't understand. most of the dogs are chipped anyway so if you sell the dog for drugs and the new owner takes the dog to the vet they check the chip. greg: now you know. carve the chip out is what you are saying. you make me sick to my stomach. >> that's right. greg: before we go, we've got in, a brand-new studio. free tickets areig available rit now starting monday. fox news.com. for your free tickets right now. this will be a huge audience. next, activists go bonkers cleaning a black man -- ♪♪ >> she's eating the rocket. ♪♪ ♪♪ - i always wanted to speak french but i never had the time and then i tried babbel. - [announcer] babbel, the number one selling language learning app in the world. - you're learning phrases that you can use right away in real life conversations. after just four weeks i was feeling confident enough to have simple conversations in french. (speaking in french language) now i'm speaking french. - babbel, the quick way to get conversational in a new language. try babbel free today, go to babbel.com or download the app. go with simparica trio it's triple protection made simple! simparica trio is the first and only monthly chewable that covers heartworm disease, ticks and fleas, round and hookworms. dogs get triple protection in just one simparica trio! this drug class has been associated with neurologic adverse reactions, including seizures. use with caution in dogs with a history of these disorders. protect him with all your heart. simparica trio. this is elodia. she's a recording artist. protect him 1 of 10 million people that comcast has connected to affordable internet in the last 10 years. and this is emmanuel, a future recording artist, and one of the millions of students we're connecting throughout the next 10. through projectup, comcast is committing $1 billion so millions more students, past... and present, can continue to get the tools they need to build a future of unlimited possibilities. welcome back. they made a mistake, accusing a black man of wearing black face. now ralph raise baiters are comparing a black man to justin trudeau. woke in arizona, that is the state, emily, accusedmi the schl district of racism claiming it hired hunter? performing blackface at a charity event. the only problem is, the guy is black. [laughter] proving that with woke arizonans is not the heat, it's stupidity. the disco themed event, they serve on the school district diversity equity and inclusion committee for die. [laughter] e-mailed the principal complaining about blackface which was literally a black face but they set him straight in the white lady said sorry. should have reached out and inquired before making such acquisitions. f i cannot imagine the frustration you felt, maybe you should have thought about it but fair enough, he's an idiot but the other guy wrote it and doubled down on facebook suggesting it seems at the least, he's in darker makeup. if not blackface or completely mistaken, is the lightning of the patio. he's a full-blown -- that made no sense but i don't care. we reached out to those for comment as of this taping, no word back but maybe they are in west virginia protesting these fellows. look at all that blackface, and my right? those are coal miners, emily. that was a joke that they don't understand. wasn't that great the guys double down on it? so funny, i loved that. >> i was horrified by these on different levels. i don't think the woman was apparently so apparently what everyone says about her is all they do is attack the parents all they wrong for things like this. if you bring someone so committed to this theater, they are looking for who they can put on the target so they see that oh my gosh, it must be her so she can issue that apologize fine, but she's leading along with that guy who doubled down. greg: sounds like a real -- [laughter] >> i don't know this person, sorry but here's what it reminds me of. many decades working in psychiatric hospitals, every patient with a borderline personality disorder in the 80s and 90s came in with the least lawsuits and every single one i, i'm picking on you, finay figured out what was going on and you started putting a stop to it but i think they've found other ways to act out there borderline rage. i don't know this woman and i'm not saying but when you see that energy around things that are real, i worry about the makeup, it's a little darker. greg: it's a delusion. the two looked craze, everybody had to have a two looked. >> it's what mobs do, they gather and its people who are frankly injured who get together and focusus their aggression somewhere else but like i was saying, look at you, look at you. greg: i want to ask you, bill maher said this, the reason it's so successful is the left is so funny. this is a funny story. >> we are living in a south park episode. these diversity experts, they call themselves experts. the can't tell the difference between blackface and is a black. they are so confident that they publicly shame the entire charity event but the man is just a black man and he doubles down like okay, i love how you made acknowledgment and says although it's certainly different than a white person in a black face, he was still wearing blackface in my research. you defend that? he was a a famous guy, it's nots if no one knew who he was. this guy is well known. he's also black. >> exactly. everyone knows that. greg: he thought he would could get away with that, the present making accusations feels they have everybody on their side. >> in today's world, it's unthinkable. >> but that is the problem here, it is hilarious but the serious side is they are actually making great relations in this country worse. normal people have sort of moved on from all of this and you have this group of people have become raise police, also known as bigots. greg: they are like the japanese pilots on the l island, oh no te war is over, they don't understand -- that is, that is true. >> as long as you have your uniform. [laughter] greg: next, it's on full display, the long continues to laugh and play. i'm kidding. weathertech is the trusted brand that offers premium products for ultimate protection, like our laser measured floorliners. now there's the weathertech comfortmat. anti-fatigue support and cushioning while you stand in the kitchen... laundry room... at a stand up desk... or anywhere you might find yourself. the weathertech comfortmat features a non-slip grip and comes in three colors and finishes. so stand up and relax. order your american made comfortmat at weathertech.com. no matter who you are, being yourself can be tough when you have severe asthma. triggers can pop up out of nowhere, causing inflammation that can lead to asthma attacks. but no matter what type of severe asthma you have, tezspire™ can help. tezspire™ is a new add-on treatment for people 12 and over... that proactively reduces inflammation... ...which means you could have fewer attacks, breathe better, and relieve your asthma symptoms. so, you can be you, whoever you are. tezspire™ is not a rescue medication. don't take tezspire™ if you're allergic to it. allergic reactions like rash or an eye allergy can happen. don't stop your asthma treatments unless your doctor tells you to. tell your doctor if you have a parasitic infection or your asthma worsens. sore throat, joint and back pain may occur. avoid live vaccines. by helping control your asthma, tezspire™ can help you be you. no matter who you are, ask your asthma specialist about tezspire™ today. i am way hotter now than at 21, i'll have you know. no freaking out about the lawn growing clout. he's been stamped in the media for his offer on twitter cutting his own hair. billion are in charge of media company is bad for free speech and democracy but here's the thing, many of his critics belong to media companies owned by billionaires. facebook and instagram are owned by mark zuckerberg, jeff bezos for the washington post in 2016, he's a space alien. the authentic magazine ocean majority owneded by lauren wido. time is owned by billionaire and bloomberg owned by howard -- los angeles times owned by billionaire doctor patrick, i did not know that. the lawn points out the twitter board collectively owns almost zero shares that they pay the salary on the board, no wonder they are scared. you can take her influence. he saidll the media and billionaire factors, that has to be a good thing. it's like my fridge uncle martyr is to say, give a man a fish, feed him for a day but teach a man to fish while he's fishing, go to his house and thank his wife. [laughter] he was right on that one. i taught a lot of men to fish. [laughter] >> lock up your lives. >> i back up what he said about the show. >> charlie, you've got to be enjoying every minute. going to pull off? >> i hope and pray he does, i think that wouldr be the greatt thing for the free press in this country perhaps in our lifetime it's interesting because of course wealthy people have always owned all of it, that's the way it works. the great revolution of the internet democratize everything and there are good and bad things about that but you can't argue the fact that it's generally going in a positive direction if you want more voices and believe in free press. watching these people especially in the free press department like newspapers and magazines freaking out over the concept there saying i want to protect and preserve this for everybody and give everybody a voice them freak out. greg: they want the microphone on them but not for other people. you're going to love this, if you -- did i already ask you? >> well, i don't know because you haven't asked. greg: i feel like i asked this last week, he's purchasing something to fix it, if you had unlimited money, what would you purchase -- >> i get a pj for my self, a jet, that's all i want. what i buy? i'm not in the business of fixing anything. [laughter] greg: "rollingg stone" magazine because i grew up on it and it's terrible now and i want to fix it. >> can i buy the city of detroit? greg: there you go. >> i would love to buy detroit but don't worry, i'll make it work. greg: any thoughts on elon? >> it's crazy, throw a billionaire around, billionaires own stuff, they buy stuff with their billions. [laughter] greg: is he on a budget? i can only spend $38. elon musk wants to buy twitter, he canme buy twitter. i don't know, i don't even know if that's possible. in my worrying you? >> this whole thing worries me. get the boat on this? i don't understand why that's not the first order of business. there's not a lot of stock on the board but there is among the stock, stockholders. the other thing i noticed, there's a lot of language and the term repressed is starting to shift, you don't even know what they are talking about because clearly elon wants freedom of expression. free press controls democracy which i'm not sure what that is. >> they are talking about content moderation, what everybody does in life, moderate the content but they are using it in a different way as a dog whistle for censorship, see what i didou there? what would you think a hostile takeover, would you do like the l.a. raters? >> oakland raiders? they are fine. greg: las vegas lady, i tricked you. >> anyway, here's what i thought summed up the situation, talking about elon musk and how crazy this is, he called him a billionaire leap and basically infantile jack -- who makes a possible and likely will carry out the most ridiculous plans, that's what having wealth plus precision is. what sets himet apart as he has that vision, how dare he privatize base in conjunction with the dying agency, he provided something that provided literally hundreds of millions of people and yet we are supposed to look down on him because he has a vision. it's the same thing there concentrating their wealth, it's just the one person with aon commitment and a vision to maket something that's turned toxic wonderful again. he's trying to create orr restoe a virtual town square. greg: i think the solution, the benefit is it is the drug trip for the journalist, there are more people on facebook but all the journalists slow every morning and i include myself even though i'm not a journalist anymore. [laughter] they are on twitter but they have to get all the rage. [laughter] if he turned that off,, is gone and they chase stories. >> this is what we have seen over the course of our career, the beauty of twitter, it's an extraordinary vehicle for sharing information, the press, reporters saw an amazing vehicle to talk about themselves. greg: and manipulate narrativest it's about me and how important i am in the stories i'm working on. it's supposed to be sharing information, not manipulated it. if i were elon musk, i would apply great. the rural tabloid. remember they used to advertise? by grits, the guy with the newspaper bag. >> note. [laughter] greg: i can't believe i out age all of you. you and i are the same age. >> but have never heard of grits. greg: you all suck. p greg: there is a time when i was in training and i don't know what happened. greg: i was in medical college for a little while. [laughter] easter, wishes them well. and the frank tank? you know it. and now you're relaxing. i'm working from home. sure you are. alright i see a lot of head nods. let's circle back tomorrow. you weren't kidding. save up to 25% when you bundle home and auto with allstate. click or call for a quote today. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ voltaren. the joy of movement. - [female narrator] five billion people ♪ lack access to safe surgery. thousands of children are suffering and dying from treatable causes. for 40 years, mercy ships has deployed floating hospitals to provide the free surgeries these children need. join us. together, we can give children the hope and healing they never thought possible. it's a mission powered by love, made possible by you. give today. what did -- [laughter] what did trump easter basket insult to make the dems low a glass get? you spreading easter cheer, he released this statement yesterday. happy easter to all including the radical left maniacs doing everything possible to destroy our country. nevertheless, let them be happy, healthy, wealthy and well. trump save america pack wished happy easter to gubernatorial candidate racist attorney general with teacher james. despite the fact she will drive business out of new york while at the same time giving crime, death and destruction in new york. that's way better than anything from walmart and only trump could make you feel dirty while taking the high road. hopefully these messages will become a new easter tradition.y it appears more and more things trumps was alarmed about like the deal with russia, remember this in 2018? >> said when germany makes a massive oil and gas deal with russia supposed to be guarding against russia and germany pays billions and billions a year to russia but how can you be together where country is getting its energy from the person you want protection against? greg: of course people mock him, being concerned about. >> the world has gone crazy this morning, the performance was beyond belief. >> i've never seen the president say anything strange or counterproductive as president trump's against nato and germany. >> it sounds like he's engaging and what about is him andn getting cozy with vladimir putin. >> the president facing criticism and saying i'm not, it's germany. >> the footage you showed at the beginning ought to be put in a time capsule. greg: so should you, i don't even know who you are. he's right, they are all wrong, germany is struggling to survive without russian oil. the biden administration announced they would drill on federal land but originally campaigned. we can't expect joe to remember that when he can't find where the easter bunny is. ♪♪ greg: the music megxit -- was that the best easter message you've ever heard from paul trump? he wished them the best. >> he definitely row it. [laughter] greg: one of the greatest writers -- in american history. >> people were comparing biden's easter message compared to trump. biden has a speech, everybody when you have a team of writers but trump is very much like the statement guy is me, i'm that guy, i'm going to write it it sounds like what he says on every holiday though. greg: joe, doctor drew, i can't help but feel that. >> whenever he sent a message, there's a certain group of people who really goes file. i would argue that degree of syndicate into carries all the way through, i don't understand why it's so affects them. there does not used to hearing from a person, they are used to hearing from a team. >> my family group chat on easter was worse. [laughter] greg: who was it? >> no. greg: let's try to keep the show on it, organized and sophisticated, and i am a model of something. [laughter] lost my train of thought there, emily. you aren't sure howl you feel about this. >> i feel like the message was half princess bride, then have the great and talladega nights, you know what i mean? have serious and have -- and it carries like i've never seen something so counterproductive. joe biden, hold my beer. every day of his presidency we've been subjected to mental rot and invertebrate incompetence. trumps a genius in comparison -- i'm not wrong. [laughter] greg: not wrong at all. it's funny there's a theory going around from a friend, the rearview mirror theory, the further trouble is behind, all of the sudden is looking better and better and better and it's funny and you try to figure out he made a lot of people angry but they got directionally through. >> would never seen one of those things we have seen in politics but just because the change was so dramatic but this is a perfect example, this is press on twitter. how do you have a guy like donald trump in the white house, if you love the news, you can't not love donald trump is president. he provides a lot of news and you may not agree with his position on things and he's right about a lot of things, not just about everything but you can have disagreements but from entertainment value, i don't understand how these people don't appreciate. greg: i always call trump a news potato because you know how youn can make a million things out of the potato? bait potato, french fries, curly fries, hashbrowns, tater tots, that's trump. dyou can make 70s meals out of himm. you could fill s a show. >> and we did. trump have been alive during shakespeare's time, it was rewritten all of the comedies and tragedies, insert this amazing character trump. greg: that's interesting. how does the time machine work? >> not yet. [laughter] greg: will be ready yesterday? >> i get it. really good. greg: i knew you were going to say that. up next, openup invitation for alien invasion. what is wrong with me today? [laughter] want to see it.im we are short on time so here's a story in five words. first location will be invasion doctor drew, the location in outer space, some people think it could trigger an alien invasion. >> we are thirsty, grandiose and assume aliens are as aggressive as we are. who knows? they might not be anything like us.ob the image you saw, that is the product of hallucination that's been quite will show, hallucinations and they say . greg: i used to get those all the time when i was younger. it could be on my chest, there would be gargoyle. isn't that crazy? >> this is something humans concoct in our head. you have them, too? >> i just didn't know that, t blowing my mind. greg: are you out of your mind? wouldn't it be great -- we keep thinking theyou are our size. what if they were tiny? they could be in your skin? >> they are definitely purposely not landing but i will say, we've already taken out our location from puerto rico so this fear mongering, if they were going to invade, they would have done it already. >> would they? >> yes, if i was going to invade, i would. greg: but you know, we eat cattle, i want to eat alien because once we had space alien, why are we eating earthlings? just eat them. if they come in peace, turn them into pizza. [laughter] >> i used to think the best bumper sticker for trump would aybe trump for president, you can't screw it up. i'm ready to just put the aliens in charge. if they do come back, put them in charge. greg: we don't know really where covid came from. it could be a space alien. >> maybe joe biden. greg: it explains a lot of things.. what you think about that? covid could have been a space alien that entered our bloodstream. >> i think there is your next book. [laughter] >> viruses are maybe aliens. the reason we have mitochondria, bacteria that got into our sales. greg: apologized to me. >> but if we don't know, why are we testing that? greg: you've taken that too far. >> sometimes i've saidgh a messe and it turns out i didn't convey what i was trying to and that was with another human so i don't think we should be messaging aliens. greg: lol could mean something totally different on pluto, it could be an act of war. send the rocket. don't go away, we'll be right back. . which can lead to something big. start stopping with nicorette. mission control, we are go for launch. um, she's eating the rocket. ♪♪ .. >> we are out of time. we thank emily, charlie and everyone for joining us. thank you so brian: i'm brian kilmeade. welcome to "one nation." the democrats are down right now no denying it. but i will tell you how they got there. presidents republican and democrats had a view of things that were pretty much out of their control. but how they react to the under controllable.