bill cameras here does the news with the crazy dog lady after ever show he has to get checked for spirit his eyes will hold you hostage all his weight demands ransom. jamie is back, hottest, in alaska. like having the best set of keys on the greyhound bus. i get it, he moved to alaska hoping the arctic air keep the audience from leaving. but what a busy day of news. first, insurrection part two dozens of rioters in the oval office, the five president and vice president are taken by surprise. look at the chaos. can you help the fbi, identify this direction. our democracy is at stake. this is 9/11 and pearl harbor. of course that's those who have replicas. the first time those two have been seen together in months. plus, the figures have already held more press conference but also with joe, this might be the ffirst time last figure is more lifelike than its inspiration. it was made out of his own earwax. he's been collecting in a mayonnaise jar years. speaking of wax figures, did anyone tackle a bear the other night? no? well, if laughter causes cancer, the audience has been in remission for ten years. remember how he was terrified under trump precious institutions would be destroyed? well mcdonald's is gone only once for democrat. it started with statues and it's never stopped. if you can't get rid of the filibuster, just hear me out here objectively, what if we get rid of the senate? [laughter] i'm one 100% serious. it's the mosts. antidemocratic institution next to the judiciary because the judiciary is the only way it is because the fed is the way it is. the only thing that could be abolished is the writing room. greg: thought was even too crazy for liz warrant. a small civil for the try to rescue her. republican attacks on our democracy are burning at all down. they are happy about executive order and vaccination from abroad about the government working too center that. they are okay by the d.o.j. of the political opponents. why? they love power the kat way. then you change the rules or enforce you once. were feeding him at a monopoly game if he wants to abolish the senate because that abolishes the power of the state and leaves the power to the dirtbags in d.c., chicago and l.a. and nyc see how the job they have done there. the city's disasters and thought carried on staff to specific a priority and subway service i thought fashion since robert pitting people against each other nymphomaniac. biden was against divides us and tweeting about them croaked to point out costly claiming happened, the applicant or from voting there's no evidence. try place to race part 100 plays with himself. i think to shake his fist at. >> joe claims the bill is meant to prevent election fraud but we told it undermines public state election? 2020 perfect election? they really want ballots as insecure as of you at the spin class. thank god cnn they are hiring new staff despite fake news. the only thing he knew job, trench coat, a bag of candy and working knowledge of the local playground. on twitter, cnn creating covering false news. they will never have to leave theirwo own building. while investigating, it will lead them to the office kind of like alecit baldwin. covering the uses and abuse distortions of reality, if that's true, start with the champion by cnn, pollution, crime probably failed kyle rittenhouse for how much they lied about it. crazy stories about tom junior. you got your first year wrapped up. let's not forget how misinformation is made by hiding the news from unclaimeded riots, hiding huntress laptop all covid up by cnn city they also hiring reporters from feel like you have to jump down every rabbit hole you see fit the kind you spend more time on the internet than everyone really should. basically they are looking to hire the 400-pound guy sitting on his bed, trump would say. losers too fat and lazy to joining but i feel for the poor staff. brian putting on leggings, will have to work overtime to cover themselves. i just wonder how they are going to do it. ♪♪t >> tonight on the just news network. ♪♪ and outside the new york city headquarters from we've received reports of somebody spreading misinformation, if not adequately fact checked. possibly through ha ha or worse, independent fun. let's take a look. what the hell? ♪♪ can't hear from number one reporter, reports of a journalist spreading misinformation. none what met with invited to sources of misinformation. greg: anyway. finally at least there's good news for everyone especially those new york. >> this is the right place, i'm not going to quote boat cover. greg: like he ever had a chance. de blasio won't be running for governor and also, i won't be participating in this year's nba all-star game bill, you pump of extra, eggs for letting us know even though nobody asked. you destroy a city and now you're jobless. here's an idea, go work at cnn. you can't kill something that's already dead. [applause] let's welcome tonight yes they call him the hammer because i don't know how to spell. [laughter] america's newsroom oh acre, bill hammer. [applause] he's like a real life jack bauer not because he's former cia, because it takes in 24 hours. most of black files discovered. mike baker. ♪♪ [applause] if he's here, rob schneider taking the night off. jamie. [applause] is not a failed state stated five children, fox news contributor, kat timpf bill hammer, as always, my version of people's legacies, cnn opening anti- fake news bureau, whatever you want to call it, it's like me deciding to crack down on jokes. that's all i do, that's all they do, turn out fake news. >> that's not going to end well how with a cover hundred five his laptop? i have a theory, i saw they are looking to hire three people. in about a months time exactly 32 days, trump goes online with his own social media, my theory is this group will be set up to counter just about everything and now you have your own ranch, what will be known as -- there is a theory and then we will see. greg: that's why you are so mark and on the new side. you are never wrong, bill. you are never ugly. [laughter] you make me think if you are hiring three people, you identify as more than one person? you can identify as more than one person, i'm going to identify as three different people. very perceptive analysis on the wax museum figures, i'd like to hear the review. >> that's a great question for both. [laughter] i think if someone makes a wax statue of you and it looks healthier than you, you might want to go to the hospital but i guess this thing is super accurate, exact height sounds like a millimeter, it's the same weight and even the same amount of great ideas. [laughter] i heard the only sound that is not she pictures him and blacksburg. greg: do you want to stop now? this is who wants to be a millionaire? >> there was just so muc b one quick thought, you know the thing about the senate and then the crowd laughs, he then remembers this is the cold air show, there is no laughing they almost had to test it. greg: that's why he said he had to come up with that. what you say i'm serious about, you look great, the hammer. greg: fewer like even hawks granddad. [laughter] so there's a lot to choose from this monologue. if you could warm thoughts in a coherent state, a subject and a verb, object. i want full sentences. >> first with colbert, it's been a long time since anyone left but i go to him for all of my knowledge of the constitution and federal republic associations but what he said about shutting down the senate, if you scroll through social media, the sheriff number of -- who actually have the same concept is remarkable. just basically saying if at any time the current administration for the group doesn't agree, we just want to change the rules. the other thing i would say is presidente biden, are we goingo talk about the press conference? greg: that's in the be block. >> i don't know, nobody tells me anything. greg: i'm blaming my staff i just fired my staff because you said that. >> okay, i've done my job. [laughter] we been filming classified which is going into the second season early march onse discovery. greg: you are fulfilling the intro i had for you. so kat timpf, i keep looking at cnn, they don't know when they are doing this how funny it is, it's like a guy with a toupee and everybody looks at it and he's oblivious and he's living pretty good life because he is oblivious. >> i actually think that would be better. i appreciate it really bad toupee. greg: me, for example. [laughter] >> you shouldn't have. all of that aside, but they don't have to because they don't care clearly. the ratings are real way down. set of trying something new, they say let's go harder on this one. it's like this is an apple, we will just tell you it's an apple, we only have the facts here. how many times have they been wrong? incentive think a lotw this, ts is actually an opinion host, it's not a news anchor, they are going to be the ones standing against this information, they have this attitude. if one or them, nobody would know what's true. greg: i know,>> the only people there are by accident there. it seems to me misinformation now is the new hate speech. it's like you say something wrong, they say now misinformation is deadly and that fills the case cracking down on it which is what they are doing for anybody else. by the way, they would like to get their pants beaten off of them. >> there's a difference between misinformation andnd disinformation, to there is -- this is the way the government in those places work, they will tell you what's correct and tiwhat's not and if we don't understand how dangerous this is, i know we are making fun of it and it deserves to be made fun of, this is a dangerous path for us to go on. the president of the united states would say news networks, you've got to shut down this misinformation, something out here when i was overseas. greg: can you imagine a president thank you back there, your fake news. [laughter] next, the answers were hyperbolic. [applause] a quarter way through this for your trip and finally taking questions about the sinking ship. joe croson reporters. earlier this afternoon, roughly an hour before his usual bedtime, biden held a press conference marking the first year of his presidency, only fewer than any of the five presidents before him. he talked about covid, economy voting rights but joe, remember how you solve not that many people showing up to vote in the middle of the pandemic? >> remember how we thought not many people would show up to vote in the middle of the pandemic? was the highest turnout in the history of america's. i think if in fact, no matter how hard they make it for minorities to vote, i think you will see people willing to stand in line defy the attempt keep them from being able to. greg: he just contradicted himself, everybody e thought it but there was flooding suppression, where? for anyone listening to the voting rights feature, did he say anyone was going to be or did he talk about history? >> anybody listening to this speech, i could not say they will pointedly george wallace or a partner, i said we will have a decision in history marks just like it was bedford who either vote, make you vote, if you didn't vote becton, you will vote with those who agree. you will notice. greg: i guessss we are the ones hard at hearing? you said which side are they on mr. president. someone else pressing on the speech but should we go back and read what he said? >> i didn't say that. look what i said, go back and read what i said. tell me, if you think i called anyone who voted on the side of position taken by, but they were pro. interesting reading that in english.n [laughter] greg: someone needs that. why are reporters so upset with russia. >> popcorn policy advisors russia is now ready to attack ukraine from a force of threat be? standing up to russia. he said russia would be held accountable -- quickly on russia, have you determined whether the president plans to invade or move into ukraine? greg: all right, russia, prussia, russia, it's still going on. not a word about crime, not a word about the border and all these reporters cared about the voting bill and russia, to least important things for almost 99.9% of america. >> i agree because when it started to be about russia, i stop listening. [laughter] like i get, i totally get it but it was tough to watch, honestly. his argument about the civil economy like no, you need toee think i was literally saying these people literally are pro product. no, he says i wasn't saying like you are mistaken, how dumb are you? you know it's bad because he kept say much, how much longer am i going to keep saying this? one time like a total social path, not because it was going well. i couldn't all of the choreography, i can't get in the rhythm parcel cycle, that's pretty bad. it was not good. greg: a swear word from the little lady over here. what were your impressions? >> i think there were two things incredibly egregious he did from one was this idea that again if you are not with the voting rights act and misnamed inflation, you are potentially racist. we all know itit matter how he tries to spin this, it's awful messaging but i think he firmly believes that for d whatever reason. the other thing is the idea that somehow if you don't get this voting rights act passed, you could call into question the legitimacy. greg: acute part. anytime you question anything, it's anti- democratic. >> he's done this now and i'm going to leave that to jamie but iy. think -- i can't do it becae as i was watching the press conference and he did not, it was very depressing. greg: another thing on the unity thing how he praised mitt romney, he said he's a great guy and this was the same person who biden said with put back in january. >> mitt romney said the other day he hadn't talked to anybody from the white house december. it's disingenuous. i'm a news guy from a couple things here. there turnout in this last election, it's higher than we've seen in 140 years and then for polling, they thought 94% of americans were satisfied because it was easy for them to vote. i wrote back down, i wrote down five things. greg: this is not the five. >> is one failure is not getting republicans into the game and making things better for the country. name me one thing fairport. and racist. i've not overpromise at all, i probably got the forms. [laughter] on the front is not cause for panic. testing kits, russian and ukraine, i do think it's a significant story. a minor incursion -- one thing if the minor incursion. vladimir putin may have gotten the green light we will look back and think that was not good for the world. inflation, everything to do with the supply chain. no mention that congress passed back in march, nothing new with the money. i thought as expected, it has not moved the ball, there's very little suggestion he was up for change over the coming year before midterm other than one thing, he said he's going to get out there and meet with the people. greg: this is making me depressed. i was feeling pretty sophisticate for a while i remember you were there so. you have anything in your life, do you own five things? >> i have five things. [laughter] the first one says you are doing a great job. >> biden's speaking voice for a speaker if you want everyone to fall asleep and quietly got out of the room. i was falling asleep. i wish there was some way you are a journalist, i wish there was a green screen behind him and it looked like he was in a house in the press was on the lawn yelling at everyone. i don't know, i'm just amazed they were able to get the wax figure in their. greg: next, covid solution tramping the constitution. ♪♪ [applause] coven rules while no crackdowns chance bringing back internment camps. our they becoming dictators minus taters? [laughter] party that wants claim to be against fascism from its now pure authoritarianism. 55% of democrats support those unvaccinated. 60% would support house arrest which is the same treatment murderers got. 45% would favor designated facilities folks who don't get vaccinated. where have we heard that? they want to concentrate people in one location. putting them into prisons and empty out the thoughts. wait, don't give them ideas. meanwhile across the pond the effect ocean, boris johnson covid mandate for not wearing a mask for his attempted hairstyle. he put a dish from the just don't. they are getting rid of work from homee rules self isolation so they still recommend social distancing. the strong signal, things are finally turning back to normal. could it mean it's time to do the same thing here? the dog should be more thrilled. this is great, i used to sniff five bucks a day. greg: there hugo. jamie, i called you joe last segment, i thought it would be funnier. [laughter] , turned democrats into a lesion of rabbit authoritarian parents are what? this article, i rarely get infuriated, it's unbelievable. like the part where they were saying if you go on social media and give misinformation, we can find you, who says what's misinformation? determines what is left that's the whole thing, you listen to this, it's an opinion and some of it misinformation about the misinformation. i go as far to say pretty much all social media is misinformation. if you look at my instagram, i probably been depressed for two days, it's all misinformation. it's always good stuff on facebook, i just gained 10 pounds and they are holding up like a small pair of jeans they used to fit in. greg: it's true, very depressing. i was told it was the republicans who are authoritarian from of the puritans, they want to limit right but there's always another side. >> my sense dealing with boris johnson but it's all starting to crack. today about thehe vaccine manda, starbucks will no longer require their employees to get the vaccine. 90% of their employees are already vaccinated. the world health organization, if you still give credence to the world health organization after the job in china, they are recommending airlines international no longer prior vaccines for travel. that is significant. i think the wall is cracking on this, it started in london. greg: i said, february 1 is the end of the pandemic. >> a lot of it has to do with omicron. it travels without being hindered whether you get the vaccine or not. [laughter] >> maybe where the starbucks, you don't need to get the vaccine but you need at least it's others. [laughter] greg: it's over, isn't it? time for the governors of the united states to the the same thing. >> i'mg still chuckling over josh's joker. [laughter] first of all, as someone who's retained their british -- i have but we've been trailing behind with what's going on in the uk and europe for most of the pandemic so we should look at that as good news. it is impressive boris johnson and the government there decided to do this, is a strong move. we are always going to have something in society, there's a group postponement in the population simply here in america that's become comfortable in the sphere zone and they may not ever want to climb out, i'm not saying it in a disparaging way, is a fascinating way of how people deal with it. greg: or even accept it, masks are the new seatbelt for your face seatbelt operate but -- israel did everything and omicron is everywhere. that's a good sign that maybe politicians are seeing that people are making decisions and they want to get in front of the decisions. >> what they are doing is not working and i agree with you, this stuff was crazy, 47% support government tracking, for why? it doesn't make any sense. no one would get covid if they wouldn't otherwise if you're tracking people but i also thought it was crazy how different the numbers were from the average voter from these kooky people and they all agree there's no limit to how kooky their quirkiness goes. it will have government facilities short but obviously people with violent crimes can go brief but the vast majority are saying. hopefully sanity wins out because i'm sick of all of this. two shots, two culverts, i am not doing it anymore. i got twost shots and got covid twice and i'm not even that interesting. i'm not going to raves her stuff. [laughter] greg: all right, we've got to stop. they are given slack for an all time great running back. [applause] nation of nerds. tonight at 9:00. football rate gets slammed for checking out babes on instagram's. slightly racy but it doesn't mean he's kevin spacey former football player and my partner, herschel walker. [laughter] was caught following several racy instagram accounts so again, welcome ourselves to the age of an arts where they can't find anything damning about you, they will act like something perfectly legal is lunatic like dealing a school bus and bearing in the desert. but at least the second closed person with gp initials chad sanity on the slander, rent we walked tweeted breaking, it appears herschel walker an adult male occasionally enjoys look at sexually exploited material on the internet involving adult women. what are they trying to prove, but he's human and not a robot? congrats, you did it. where will this lead? >> take out trash. >> nonsense, your under arrestr for writing on your own hand. >> is not a crime to write on your own hand. >> sir, pens are for paper. >> trash? it's literally trash day, that's what it'sit called. >> that's what they are saying and using logic. no nonsense, no more. violence is always the answer. [laughter] greg: what a beautiful talk. jamie, i won't even ask if you follow onth instagram but what e your thoughts? >> i'm a little bit appalled of what we watch on instagram. greg: i don't think you are appalled. >> i wasn't shocked at all to find out he wasn't a guy. i can't believe he didn't go with the all-time defense, i have a real defense, i follow on the girls -- remember? the one week they banned sexual content, i would claim i signed up. i went on there today for research and also a girl. it's insane, they are asking. greg: thoughts? >> absolutely no shop but the reason people don't want to go into politics, this is one reason why when we look around, a lot of folks don't want to go anywhere near this. my company, we do a lot of intelligence gathering around the world, we stay away from political opposition research. just don't do it. it's awful what goes on in campaigns for picking up information. who cares what he's following. greg: but that's because i love nascar. think about the reporter, you are a journalist, like how proud should you be of this clip you did in your portfolio? i mailed herschel walker, like a journalist did that. that helps no one. greg: i didn't look at what he looked at. >> i thought trump is going to have am blast at the next rall. he should have been more careful. all i right, a story friday. i do believe primary is in three months . greg: are you tired of this sex shaming? >> joram. [laughter] greg: do you know who herschel walker is? do not know, i learned today that. his porn addiction, he follows girls on instagram, they are bikini pics. that is a jump. he hasn't disqualified stupid problem. the porn addiction, they don't even allow nipples on instagram. greg: i feel like i'm watching a married couple fight. >> i just want to say the fact that he looks at this stuff, there's a lot of stuff on the internet, really disgusting stuff, wild stuff on the internet, this is not sick, it's kind of adorable. [laughter] greg: -- are you finished? was going to lead off but you are really good but when they talk about this porn addiction, the worst part was gop rival running for the same and he said well, i don't know but if it is porn addiction, . greg: , wait that was what you are saying? >> we just don't have time . greg: because you talk -- >> somebody had to. [laughter] >> there's no way he has a porn addiction. [laughter] greg: that was worth waiting for. [laughter] greg: next, how would you react town made you trim your digestive tract ask. [applause] and there you have it. woah. wireless on the most reliable network nationwide. wow. big deal. we get unlimited for just 30 bucks. sweet, but mine has 5g included. relax people. my wireless is crushing it. that's because you all have xfinity mobile with your internet. it's wireless so good, it keeps one-upping itself. take the savings challenge at xfinitymobile.com/mysavings or visit an xfinity store to learn how our switch squad makes it easy to switch and save hundreds. got removed spanish fork freezing my butt off, requires all residents to get their appendix removed before they lived there. 625 miles away from a hospital and someone with a burst appendix might not be able to make it there on time so you have to lose your appendix to live there. better than miami which requires a nose job, boop job to be allowed outside the airport. schedule all three in one appointment. how is this different than living in new york and being an old person? if you have a heart attack in midtown, you're not going to survive. it's not just snow, it is the traffic. >> i'll tell you how, you can't solve those problems ahead of time. [laughter]e. you get the appendix removed, it's not going to come back iin should be a doctor the one you should be a doctor, that scares me. >> you don't smoke, he don't drink, what do you do? you can't bring a dog, you can't get pregnant, you can't have your appendix so no appendix, no sex, too cold to go outdoors. i can't wait to go. greg: jamie, this is no different than your lifestyle. >> surgically remove it. [laughter] greg: is it worth it? >> it is building a small hospital you -- [laughter] greg: built a small hospital. >> i still do, is a brazilian but left a real thing? [laughter] greg: it is. >> we talk about that one a lot. [laughter] greg: a specific meeting just for the resilient but left. [laughter] greg: all right, are you done? >> i am done. >> look at the picture. greg: by the way, that sounds like ae euphemism affect you pul your pants down and run around the room. don't go away, we'll be right back. ♪♪amda my go to toothpaste is going to be pronamel repair. greg: don't forget to set your dvr so you never miss an episode. i'm gutfeld and i love you. jesse: welcome to katz, i'm jesse watters. fox announced i'm going to be hosting the 7:00 p.m. hour called jesse watters "trish regan primetime." prime. called "jesse watters primetime." the new show at 8:00 will be announced in the