star join the family. >> the world was waiting for someone. and diana delivered. >> did you find it difficult to adapt? >> i did, yes. purely because there was so much attention on me when i first arrived on the scene. >> the more the media attention grew on her, the more troubles it created in her marriage. >> as in all familys there would be jealousy caused by this glamorous newbie coming in. >> she quickly became one of the most famous women in the world. ♪ >> diana has no idea what's about to hit her. she's only 21. she's about to make her debut on the world stage. she's embarking on a six-week tour of australia and new zealand. >> it's her first international outing at her royal highness. it's an unbelievable responsibility for a 21-year-old. she has to prove she's up to the job. >> prince of wales led the way. it was his princess who drew most attention. young prince william, was also allowed to come on tour. >> charles was a veteran by then. he knew the ropes. diana didn't. this was hugely daunting for her. >> i was thrown into the deep end. >> pre-diana, there was zilch interest in the royal family. along comes diana and, boom, it all changes. >> the crowds went absolutely mad about diana. >> they came up with a name for her. it was di mania. >> after the wedding, the royal family thought that the attention on diana would die out. diana was lightning in a bottle. she was so different from the rest of the royal family. there's a big difference between the queen. she's above everybody else, untouchable, if you like. diana comes in and she's very much hands on. >> diana physically embraced people there to see her. the ways in which she reached into the crowd to shake hands and crouched down to hug children. >> diana herself was totally overwhelmed. just the intense interest in her. >> at the opera house, the drive through the city brought people out in tens of thousands to catch a glimpse of this woman the world had made so much fuss about. >> i took the photograph. someone through flowers. it flicked on her face. she got a fright. then she started to weep. >> there was a kind of sense of an imposter syndrome. she didn't really deserve this. >> in such a short time she went from being a nursery teacher to marrying the heir to the thrown to stepping into this global spotlight with everybody watching her every move. i can't fathom the pressure that she felt. we all know how it ends. it's a mistake to think their marriage was always sort of as bad as we all seem to think. in fact early on, there was a real love connection and a closeness. >> i was lucky enough to marry her. we had many, many -- it's amazing what ladies do when your back is turned. >> i have lots of photographs where he is gazing at her, looking into her face. you could see it. charles was in love with diana. you can't disguise that. >> there were real genuine moments of happiness, especially when they were with william. >> does prince william have a favorite toy? >> a plastic whale that throws things out of the top, little balls. >> it was, in fact, the place where william took his first steps. charles wrote about it in an almost rapsodic letter saying how much fun it was. initially, she was really overwhelmed. the more she did it, the more she became confident. it was the sort of crucible for diana to prove herself. she did brilliantly. >> charles is thinking, she's such an asset. fantastic. then, of course, things shifted again. >> they chanted for her. >> she obviously had to take one side of the street. charles took the other side of the street. there were audible grown groans people who got charles. >> she was horrified that people were gravitating to her rather than the heir to the thrown. >> hai have come to the conclusn it would have been easier to have two wives to have covered both sides of the street. i could have walked down the middle directing the operation. >> he made light of it. but it was something that bothered him. >> charles found it very difficult to have diana steal his thunder. had spend his life as the star of the show. >> he resented d ed diana's popularity. he said, what is it they love about her? all she did was say yes to me. >> he took it out on me. i understood the jealousy. i couldn't explain that i didn't ask for it. >> the shame is that he didn't see the potential there for both of them. how much diana's star power could have really benefitted the royal family. >> balloons greeted them in canada as the princess continued the process of being introduced to the commonwealth. >> when the royal couple got to canada, diana had changed. there was a confidence. >> she was on the front cover of every newspaper, every magazine. all over the world. s >> the royal family wasn't giving her feedback. it was something she was craving. what a boost that must have been. as a young woman, that would mean a lot. >> she was beginning to realize her own power, her resonance, the fact that people just loved and adored her. >> big royal trip. australia, new zealand, canada. massive. >> massive for only one person. massive for diana. >> here they are, barely two years in, and diana is becoming this global icon. that really starts to put a strain on their marriage. >> it was a changing sense of where the power and love was. that was going to stay like that forever. ♪ it wasn't me by shaggy ♪ you're never responsible for unauthorized purchases on your discover card. what if you could have the perspective to see more? 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(gasps) ♪ did it work? only pay for what you need ♪ liberty. liberty. liberty. liberty. ♪ spider-man no way home in theaters december 17th (tiger) this is the dimension of imagination. ♪ ♪ with voltaren arthritis pain gel. my husband's got his moves back. an alternative to pills, voltaren is a non-steroidal anti-inflammatory gel for powerful arthritis pain relief. voltaren, the joy of movement. i can't do it. you're too heavy. >> here we are in 1985 and diana has the family she's always wanted. she's mother to 3-year-old william and 1-year-old harry. diana was literally night and day to previous royal mothers. diana ripped up that rule book and said right, i'm going to be a very hands-on mother. >> she worshiped her sons, william and harry. she felt that her number one job was being a mum. >> she was very demonstrative toward them. big kisses, big hugs. which we were really not used to because in previous generations of royal mothers didn't display their emotions in public. >> charles was brought up in such a different environment than the way diana raised her boys. the queen was largely absent because of her work, her royal duty. there just wasn't a lot of affection in his childhood. >> she realized that she had the opportunity to shape the future of the monarchy through her influence on her boys. one of the key themes of diana's life is the sense of abandonment. she felt abandoned by her mother during the acrimonious divorce between earl spencer and frances shan kidd. and she was determined that her own children would have a nurturing environment that they could grow up in. >> she insisted that they go to school so they could mix with their peers, that they weren't off in the palace learning from a governess but they were out in the world. >> she said i'm going to be the school mum, be at sports days and school plays. this made her exceptionally relatable to ordinary people. >> she wanted to make sure that these boys realized that not everybody had the privileged life that they had. >> she took them not just to amusement parks and hamburger allies but to hospitals, to homeless shelters to really get a sense of what modern britain was about. you can see today that sense of compassion that both young men have got, which is directly related to their relationship with their mother. >> the public image of the fairytale marriage was very rosy. behind the scenes the couple were rowing. it certainly was not happy families. >> in 1985 they did a television interview, and the whole purpose of it was to show the stories about strife in the marriage were untrue. >> i suspect most husbands and wives find they often have arguments. >> but we don't. >> no, no. but occasionally we do because -- >> no, we don't. >> charles and diana were fundamentally incompatible. they were like chalk and cheese. >> the 12-year age gap in itself was problematic. >> diana was 24. charles was 36. and he was an older 36. just because of growing up knowing that you're going to eventually be the king of england. >> she is absolutely pure 20th century and he is fundamental 19th century man. he is super into his watercolors and archaeology and history. and she loves dancing. she's full of energy. she's full of life. >> the only commonality existed between them was william and harry, the children. and inevitably tensions grew. >> diana did feel that she wasn't getting enough attention from charles. we have to remember that diana grew up in a broken family. she wanted this close tight-knit family. that meant charles needed to be a part of it. but he wasn't. he was busy doing his royal duties. and it started to wear on her. >> getting married as a very young virgin bride and then having two sons in quick succession, i think diana felt isolated, unappreciated, unsupported. >> diana wanted charles's attention all the time. she had this craving for love. and i think this is where a lot of the friction happened. >> in her sort of desire to sort of draw charles as close as possible to her it actually pushed him further away. >> the level of compassion and love between the couple was diminishing virtually by the week. cough cough sneeze sneeze... 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[ chantell ] clearchoice dental implants changed everything. my digestive health is much better now. i feel more energetic. the person that i've always been has shown up to the party again. the moment they saw her the crowds began to cheer. america greeting her with a welcoming hug. >> it's 1985. it's princess diana's first trip to the united states. and it's america's first chance to get a look at the woman that the world has gone absolutely crazy for. >> i mean, the excitement about princess diana coming to america and the energy around her arrival, you could feel it in the air. >> the couple insisted on meeting at least some of the people who'd stood for hours waiting to see her. >> i think there is something in diana's story that embodies the american dream. >> when they saw her the crowds went wild. the distant cheering rewarded with another wave. >> you saw this beautiful young aristocrat become a princess on the global stage. she also had those traits that are synonymous with americans. she was friendly. she was open. >> she fulfilled their dreams, grew up and married the prince. that's what an american girl thinks about. >> diana did have a whole fresh ingredient that americans hadn't experienced before. she did not seem to be removed from them. >> this was the height of the special relationship that existed between the uk and the u.s. but i think what's less well known is the relationship prince charles had with the reagans. >> charles had become very good friends with ronald and nancy reagan. he'd met them originally back in 1974. and he and nancy reagan just really hit it off. and later on she was one of the first people outside the royal circle that he confided that his marriage was in deep trouble. >> back at the white house all was ready for a formal dinner. there was an evening of high glamour. the largely show business guest list chosen by mrs. reagan. >> the reagans put together a star-studded dinner. it was just hollywood meets the white house meets the royal family. >> people like clint eastwood, john travolta, neil diamond, every socialite that nancy reagan knew. >> john, are you going to dance with the princess tonight? >> if she'd like me to. >> the high point of the evening was nancy reagan orchestrating "saturday night fever" star john travolta to ask diana to dance. >> i think diana thrived in these moments where the spotlight shone so brightly on her. >> diana wasn't fazed at all. she loved to dance. here she was dancing with john travolta, one of the most celebrated dancers in the world at that time. she just came alive. >> it showed diana's star power was really equal to that of a major hollywood star. >> screaming for the princess wherever she went. >> thousands gathered along pennsylvania avenue to catch a glimpse of the motorcade bringing the visitors to the national gallery of art. >> charles agreed to have a press conference to talk about the exhibit that he was opening, and all they wanted to talk about was diana. >> to the core of the issue first, had the princess enjoyed her dance with mr. travolta? >> well, i'm not a glove puppet. so i can't answer for that, i'm afraid. but i think you enjoyed it, didn't you? it would be interesting if she didn't enjoy dancing with john travolta. what? >> the tension there was palpable. he was exasperated. >> this was not diana's idea. nancy reagan asked john travolta to ask her to dance. she was very much trying to make her husband and his family proud. but in these moments where her star shone so bright, it just overshadowed everything he was doing and he could not hide his disgust. >> charles had been to the united states a number of times. and everywhere he went he was the center of attention, of adulation. when he was in los angeles meeting a group of women, they squeezed his hand so hard the diamond rings they were wearing cut into his hand. >> i shook his hand, which is enough for me. i mean, it's just unbelievable. >> that was the backdrop against which his visits to the united states with diana have to be seen. the more she took the spotlight from him, the more inadequate he felt. >> charles felt outshone, and diana felt her efforts to enhance the couple's reputation were completely unappreciated. increasingly, her public success was making their private relationship a lot more difficult. 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(vo) buy your next car 100% online. with carvana. it's five years into diana and charles' marriage. to the outside world it's still the fairytale. but the reality is something completely different. >> even though diana was the most feted woman in the world and everyone adored her, actually the one man she really wanted to adore her did not. >> maybe it was because he was always in love with another person. diana certainly believed that all along this sort of shadow of camilla was always there. i'm not sure that's entirely true. i think he did make a real effort to make the marriage work. but he was a selfish man. >> princess diana, when i asked her about prince charles, always said that he was the love of her life. if diana has got the love and affection from prince charles, she would never have dreamt of looking elsewhere. >> diana herself said when she was in her early 20s she fell madly in love with a man that worked for the royal household. >> by diana's own admission she played with fire and got badly burned. >> i was the personal protection officer for the princess of wales for nine years. >> barry mannakee was a protection officer in our team. and i started to notice her behavior was unusual when we were anywhere near barry mannakee, which was certainly indicating that something may have happened between them. so i decided to talk to her about it. and for the first 20 minutes she absolutely categorically denied it, but then she told me exactly what was going on. she was having some sort of relationship with mannakee. >> she was smitten. she's having her first crush after her marriage. she never had a boyfriend before she met charles and she's living life almost in reverse. >> i do understand why someone like princess diana, who didn't have a loving husband or a happy marriage, would become susceptible to looking at barry mannakee. he's representing everything that she doesn't have in her life. warmth, strength, presence. >> my main thing was to try and persuade her just how dangerous and impossible it would be for her to remain with the boys. it was just lunacy. >> it was right under charles's nose. it also makes you wonder about how much attention she was getting from charles if he was missing it. >> the way she felt was so strong it wasn't going to stop. we arranged for barry to be transferred away from the department. the excuse being used to the prince of wales was these domestic circumstances, the hours he was working. they went on a joint engagement and she was clearly very upset. the prince of wales approached me and said why is the princess behaving in the way she is? what on earth is the matter? so i said you've got to talk to her. and he said well, i've tried all that and the only thing that seems to be upsetting her is that barry mannakee is going back to uniform. and if she's that upset barry can stay. at that stage i was forced to say, well, sir, if he stays then i'm afraid i'll have to leave. and i think at that point the penny dropped. he was utterly shocked and was clearly, clearly very upset. the popular perception is that the prince of wales was straying all the way through his marriage, and that is definitely unequivocally not the case. the first person that strayed was the princess. he went back to see mrs. parker-bowles after he learned about her affair with mannakee. nobody is the villain. in my view everybody's a victim. he was under a lot of pressure to get married, and she too was a victim of this whole process. >> just realizing that charles had gone back to camilla. >> prince charles never really stopped loving camilla parker-bowles. when the opportunity arose, he went back to her. >> when you analyze these two different affairs, there's a huge difference. charles was rejecting diana because he loved somebody else. diana was never really rejecting charles. she was just desperate to be loved. >> for princess diana it was the realization of her worst fear because she had always suspected that camilla was her husband's great love. >> diana was at a really low ebb. there was even a moment when she took a penknife and cut herself. her bulimia became very intense. they were in vancouver and they were touring this exhibition. diana sort of moved close to charles and sort of touched his arm and she started to slide down to the floor and she fainted. >> the police took the whole thing very seriously. in slow motion you can see she was in some distress. the prince attempting to look unconcerned followed behind. >> she looked reasonably well recovered at the evening's government dinner but it was probably a banquet she could have done without. >> even though doctors advised she stay in bed, prince charles insisted she accompany him. >> the prince made a joke of the whole affair. >> it's really entirely due to the extremely advantageous conditions that pertain in british columbia which have ensured that she's about to have six -- which is really why she fainted. >> he showed a lack of sympathy. it was an indication that he didn't care as much, that something had gone out of the marriage. >> charles did not understand her eating disorder. i think it was frustrating and confusing to him. it was a very different era where people didn't understand eating disorders very well at all. but he actually went one further than that. he made cruel jokes. >> there's so much shame attached to the condition, it's pretty much the worst thing you could say to someone battling that kind of disease. it's her coping mechanism. >> she feels with her bulimia she can control something in her life. >> so much of the attention around her was on her appearance. her thinness was often celebrated. >> and it just continued into a really damaging cycle. >> the royal family does not know how to deal with this because bulimia centers around emotions. so she's alone and she's longing for somebody to love her and to support her. james hewitt was this very dashing, dreamy 28-year-old household cavalry officer. diana first spotted james hewitt on the day of fergie and prince andrew's wedding. he was on duty at buckingham palace and she sort of threw him this flirty comment, nice outfit, something along those lines. and eventually invited him to a drinks party. >> knowing that james hewitt was a riding instructor, she invited him to give her riding lessons to help her overcome her long-standing childhood fear of horses. >> he was someone who was fun, who was unswerving in his devotion to her. but also there was a tremendous excitement. >> it was amazingly difficult to find somewhere to meet privately. we would go to windsor to meet hewitt for riding lessons. >> unlike charles and camilla who all their friends knew about their relationships and would host them at their big estates and homes, diana couldn't do that. he was put in the boot of cars. he was driven to kensington palace. >> she was invited to go to his mother's house near exeter, where we would go for weekends. it was a remote location, but it was always a tense time because she was very easily spotted. if the princess of wales and hewitt went for a walk in the woods or on a beach somewhere, she certainly wasn't looking like a princess. she'd be in normal day clothes, hoodie, dark glasses. the hair be would be covered up. >> although she may have some romantic notion of going off with james hewitt, i think she was also very much a realist. she was the princess of wales. she was the mother of the future king. she couldn't just go off and live with this rather impoverished army officer. >> there was no question of divorce then. and so it was a fantasy for them both. charles absolutely knew about the affair and in fact approved of it because it gave him more time and space with mrs. parker-bowles and amongst the aristocracy that was normal. and what they found unfathomable about diana was that she simply wouldn't accept that this was the norm. she did not want that. >> she wanted the life that she had hoped for on their wedding day, and she kept fighting for it. 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(gasps) ♪ did it work? only pay for what you need ♪ liberty. liberty. liberty. liberty. ♪ spider-man no way home in theaters december 17th diana and sarah ferguson had known each other since they were teenagers. and diana introduced her to prince andrew. she was the matchmaker. fergie was very exuberant, and she was fun-loving. >> how hurtful would that have been? her own husband was asking her to be more like this newcomer on the scene. >> fergie was a real outdoors girl. the queen really liked fergie. so fergie began to emerge as a rival to diana, which began to inject competition in that relationship. >> diana took her husband's criticisms to heart. when he said why can't you be more like fergie she was like i can be fun, i'll show you fun. >> there were pictures of the two of them poking friends in the bottom with their umbrellas. >> dressing up as policewomen and going into anabel's nightclub on prince andrew's stag night. >> they were skiing together and messing around on the slopes. >> all these kinds of things irritated prince charles beyond belief. and diana realized that this wasn't really her. she wasn't this boisterous sloan ranger. >> the press were calling her disco di, and she realized that she was being perceived as frivolous. >> diana actually had an epiphany. she said, i might be young but i can't act in the way that other people do. and it really set her on a separate path. >> most of her public engagements had been about supporting prince charles in his duties, and she began seeking things that she herself could do in her own right. diana chose things which were on the margins of things that traditionally the royals had sort of shied away from. people dispossessed by society, people who had been neglected. >> she wanted to help people who were marginalized because as she said to me, patrick i can do this because i'm one of them. she understood what it was like to be rejected. >> it was a dynamic in her marriage, the fact that her mother left her, feelings of being rejected or abandoned were always there. >> there is now a danger that has become a threat to us all. it is a deadly disease, and there is no known cure. >> in the mid 1980s aids was massively stigmatized. there was a huge amount of ignorance about it. and it was bound up with a huge amount of homophobia. so gay men were represented as being debauched and diseased. >> the broderick ward of the middlesex hospital is the only specially designed aids ward in britain. today the hospital reckoned that the princess's visit was worth all the government propaganda put together. >> diana's a heterosexual princess but she decides to take on aids as one of the main causes she's going to champion. this shows you just how fearless and radical she really was. >> the male nurse on the ward is himself hiv infected, and spoke out to her about the myth surrounding aids. >> i think the princess helped get that point across by the fact she wasn't wearing gloves and she shook hands with the patients and myself. >> such is the aids stigma that patients in the new ward were afraid to be seen in photographs with the princess. >> only this patient agreed to a still photograph, and then only with his back to the camera. >> the sight of her shaking hands with somebody who had aids in the 1980s was extraordinary. >> that picture went around the world, and it immediately busted the myth that you could transmit aids via human touch. >> it was really one of the most pivotal moments in her life. it showed her that she had the power to make a difference. >> diana realized the power of her royal platform, and i think she was at the forefront of this new kind of celebrity philanthropy. >> traditionally the royals supported causes that were very safe. the royal family's reaction to diana choosing aids and hiv as a cause was why can't you do something nice, a little less controversial? but diana just plowed on. she continued on with what mattered to her. >> the knowledge that what she was doing was doing real good for people who really needed it gave her a sense of self-worth. >> that was how she found her fulfillment. it really informed her life from then on. ♪ this... is the planning effect. this is how it feels to know you have a wealth plan that covers everything that's important to you. this is what it's like to have a dedicated fidelity advisor looking at your full financial picture. making sure you have the right balance of risk and reward. and helping you plan for future generations. this is "the planning effect" from fidelity. we strip in the community garden. i've been stripping here for years. i strip before take-off. breathe right strips open your nose for relief you can feel right away, helping you take in air more easily, wherever you are. ho ho ho! not again. oh no. for the gifts you won't forget. the mercedes-benz winter event. get a credit toward your first month's payment on select models. with xfinity home, you can keep your home and everything in it more protected. i can wrangle all my deliveries. thanks, hoss! and i help walk the dog from wherever. *door unlocks* ♪ ♪ well, i can bust curfew-breakers in an instant. well, you all have xfinity home, with cameras to home security monitored by the pros. *laughs* learn more about home security or get our self-monitored solution starting at just $10 per month. princess diana stepped off the concord with a demoore smile that is practically her trademark. >> broadcast live on every station. >> there she is. >> in 1989 diana pushed behind the scenes to take her first solo overseas trip to new york. >> this visit was a chance to show what diana could do on her own. the stakes could not have been higher. >> princess diana out on the town, you turning heads in her elegant white gown. >> new york say famous city. to have the glitzy member of the british royal family arriving in their city, yes, a lot of them loved it but wouldn't be new york if it didn't also provoke a bit of criticism. >> new york post said she was a high-priced welfare mother living off her husband's money, what could she possibly be going here to make a difference? part of her power was to project a glamourous image, she did that if full, and then she did something that was the antithesis. >> diana confounded expectations of her. she went to parts of the city they would not expect a princess to show up. >> diana went to harlem and visited a pediatric aids unit. >> the princess had meeting with children suffering from aids and wanted to know more about children's who's aids were complicated by mother's drug abuse. >> i was 8 years old at the time princess diana came to visit harlem hospital and i was excited my mom would be welcoming princess diana to the hospital. >> she came in and she said where are they? we just took her to where the children were. she could not wait to get there. >> during the late '80s crack cocaine ravaged our neighborhood and with the drug addiction came sharing of needles and many modes of transmission of hiv/aids. it was a and back then, these children were born with hiv and also severely addicted to crack. >> as she went to the room there was a little boy she went over and picked him up and he kind of just held on to her arm. and you could just see the love that this woman had. for humanity. she was letting people know that you can be with them and you can love them. >> they were surprised she had come to harlem hospital, a place never visited by any american president and few major president and few political leaders. >> at the time the government couldn't get a grip on the aids crisis and she gave it the attention it merited. >> she chose to come to a small community hospital in the middle of a minority era during a crack epidemic. i can't say enough about the courage that takes. i thought it was amazing she would come to my neighborhood and say let me see your struggle and let me lend some assistance it to it. >> diana had proved her range that she could be the glamourous uptown princess but then also dive really deep into these taboo social topics ever the time. and accomplish real good in the world. >> the press turned on a dime. suddenly she was, as one headline said, divine. >> diana's eight years into her marriage and has come a long way and feels strong enough to confront the major torment in her life and that's the other woman. >> she accompanies prince charles to a birthday party and among the guests is camilla parker bowles. >> she went and got a stunning outfit. she got some very special lingerie because she decided, she told me, that she would make charles realize what he was missing. diana still thought as late at 1989 there might be a chance to salvage something. >> it's like entering the lion's den, enemy territory, where everyone else is in on the secret but you're the butt of the joke. >> everybody at that party is part of charles and camilla access. they've jaw-droppingly astonishing when diana walks down stairs to speak to camilla. >> i was terrified. i said i just want to know exactly what's going on. don't treat me like an idiot. >> it was a huge show of power. the key phrase in what diana says to camilla is not i know what's going on. it's don't treat me like a fool. >> she said to me, got -- you've got everything you wanted. all of the world fall in love with you, what do you want. so i said i want my husband. >> the moment camilla basically said well you should be happy with what you got. diana must have realized, oh, my god this is going to go on forever. camilla is not sorry. she's not even pretending to be sorry. >> i -- seven years of pent up anger came out. i felt a tremendous shift. said what i felt. >> it was a breakthrough for her. >> from this point on diana becomes increasingly disillusioned with the sham that is her marriage. she's about to take control of her own story. >> marriage offers stability. >> here you have her husband, future king of england, in love with someone else. >> she was like a tinder box waiting to explode. >> isn't it normal to feel angry and want to change a situation that is hurting? >> this was her going totally rogue, risking it all, not knowing where it would lead. >> diana is effectively planting a bomb under the royal family. >> she wanted her truth to be told . marriage offers stability. >> diana is in a loveless marriage and really is living a lie. >> for many of these marriages, reality fails to live up to expectations. >> here you have her husband, the future king of england in love with someone else

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